Sultan of Six does not like Frank Report. He does, however, like a woman who is occasionally mentioned in these pages, the actress Kristin Kreuk.
Sultan monitors this [and other] website[s] for comments about the comely actress who was once a senior member of Nxivm.
For years, Sultan has been commenting in defense of Kreuk, going back at least to John Tighe’s Saratoga In Decline, in 2011.
In the comments section of Frank Report, he rebuts criticism of the lovely lady who has piqued his interest, it seems, as no one ever has, including those he has actually met.
Sultan has also created a Twitter account. With some 480 Tweets, his defense of Kreuk is impressive, ardent, and poetic. Lamentably, his work is largely unnoticed. He has only eight followers.
At one time, when criticism of his Canadian princess ran high, Sultan communicated a desire to shoot me with a pistol.
He posted photos [below] on his Twitter account. I did not report this to Twitter for I did not want him banned. Instead, I reposted them on Frank Report for the delectation of readers and to give Sultan a promotional lift.
At one time, an anonymous commenter [I will call him Alfred Jingle] suggested that Sultan may be obsessed not only in defending her online, but by his offering his devotional and amorous energies at the prime of his life, energies that some men prefer to reserve for someone they know and who might reciprocate, such as a wife or girlfriend.
Jingle’s analysis was centered around mathematical computations based on the assumption that Sultan was periodically employed in solitary contemplation of Kreuk while exciting his amorous propensities.
Jingle’s posts on this topic can be seen here and here.
By Alfred Jingle
Let’s say Sultan started to stalk and spank it to Kristin Kreuk in 2005. Let’s assume he has spanked it TWICE WEEKLY at a minimum, every week, for FOURTEEN YEARS.
That would be: 96 spanks a year and 1344 spanks over the course of fourteen years.
According to research: men expel between 1.25 and 5.00 ml (1/4 of a teaspoon to 1 teaspoon) of semen each time they ejaculate. Let’s assume Spanky ejaculates the minimum: 1.25ml, [a quarter teaspoon] of low testosterone jizz, every spank.
That would be:
– 2.5ml a week
– 120ml a year
– 1680ml over FOURTEEN YEARS – the equivalent of: 1.68 LITRES, which is 7.1 CUPS or 3.7 POUNDS.
According to various studies, here and here the average man engaged in onanism, spends about nine minutes from start to finish. If Spanky takes the average amount of spank-time to shoot out his load, (we’ll say nine minutes) and assuming Spanky has been spanking it TWICE weekly to Kristin Kreuk for FOURTEEN YEARS, it means Spanky has spanked it to Kristin Kreuk:
– 18 minutes a week.
– 1 Hour, 11 Minutes and 59 Seconds a month
– 14 Hours and 24 Minutes a year
– Eight Days, 9 Hours and 36 Minutes over 14 years.
Day turns to night. Night turns to day. And that is A LOT of spanking.
A photoshopped picture of Kristin Kreuk.
Hasty Conclusion
While it seems certain that Sultan never met Kreuk and has spent many days of his life defending a woman he does not know, is there any evidence that Sultan has turned chivalrous desire into a more ribald bent? And is there any indication that he is anything other than harmless?
There were rumors that he once went to Albany to meet the lady; he may have been in communication with her father, and possibly viewed her in the flesh, from a distance at comic conventions. But in all these years, no one has alleged he ever stalked her in any threatening way. That said, could he be a danger to himself?
Could he be triggered to go beyond mere social media threats to taking action against someone who criticized Kreuk too vigorously?
Frank Report consulted with Dr. Edwin Maxwell psychiatric correspondent for this publication.
He had this to say:
By Dr. Maxwell:
Of course, I would need to see the patient in person, but from what I have observed of online behaviors, I would think that the individual who uses the online identity of Sultan of Six appears to have an acute epileptoid manifestation of the panphobic melancholiac with paranoidal delusory affectation, coupled with erotomania. It is likely exacerbated by excessive onanism coupled with an absence of female companionship, which often goes, if you will pardon the pun, hand in hand with such practices. I strongly suggest Sultan go offline and avoid social media until he gets the help he needs. His condition may not be able to cured, but it can be managed.
***
Is Sultan Out of Control?
Is it really fair to say that Sultan, despite devoting enormous amounts of time defending Kristin Kreuk, is mentally ill?
Here are some recent comments on Frank Report and Sultan’s replies.
All artwork by MK10ART :
Enter Sultan of Six
Peter Magnus: Kristin Kreuk is one of the worst actresses I have ever seen. She is really bad and nothing seems to indicate that she is going to change that.
Sultan: You’re just a terrible judge of acting talent like the others here.
Jingle: Hahaha, she’s like Dame Judi Dench.
Sultan: She’s now been nominated twice in her own country for best actress category in a television drama series and still has one more year left where she should be nominated again for the last season since it was her best out of all four seasons.
Jingle: Of course you have been watching it. You wouldn’t want to miss a jerk-off opportunity.
Sultan: I know Frank Report is the only place where you can pool your negative diminishing energy and cast your insincere, douchebag criticism. And just because someone says she’s a recognized actress for her skills doesn’t mean they’re comparable to such and such an actress. As for jerk off opportunities you’re one to speak. In fact, you’re probably one who does it everyday to her. You know that old projection thing.
Jingle: Frank Report really triggers your delicate hormones.
Sultan: But real talent is seen and recognized by those in the industry, not blowhards who have some ax to grind. And this idea that it “triggers my hormones”. No. What triggers them is you calling me out from your cowardly lopsided position of pretending to know me (while stalking me because you have nothing better to do—irony!) while you hide your pretended non-incelness behind anonymity.
Jingle: “Real talent”? Thanks for the chuckle. You are so mentally enslaved by this female. What a cuck. She would not piss on you if you burst into flames. She could fart and you would praise her. “Oh Kristin! The tone and fragrance is wonderful!”
Sultan: I’m “mentally enslaved”? How pathetic are you to be enslaved to have a psychology the only sad recourse for which is to wait for the Frank Report to STILL use Kreuk as a punching bag to post your diatribes for no self satisfaction whatsoever. Is there a bigger crier alive?
Jingle: Stop being weak all your life. You are nearly fifty years old. Just imagine your niece’s wedding day and there is sad and lonely uncle Abdul sitting there all alone, single, childless, with a non-alcoholic beer, still a virgin and still not thrusting into Kristin Kreuk.
Sultan: You’re such a blathering fucking hypocrite who is triggered all the time. It’s why you’re constantly bringing her up ON YOUR OWN. You’re also a trolling, sociopathic coward “employed” by the Frank Report. Your logic skills are utterly lacking too.
Jingle: Spanky is so easy to bait –tee hee.
Sultan: This is rich. Call out someone and then celebrate in “baiting” them. I see that KK is once again being brought up. Funny how you talk about me stalking but ignore your own. Always project and gaslight the other, a methodology so fond to sociopathic cult trappers
Heep: Kreuk did not leave NXIVM in 2012, she certainly did not care about the pedophile allegations in the Times Union expose she was named in, in 2012.
Sultan: How many times are you going to say this without providing a lick of evidence? How long has it been now? Four years now where not one named source whose credibility can be assessed has come forward to substantiate this? Talk about a well passed expiry date punching bag obsession.
Jingle: Kristin Kreuk owns you. 🤭🙂 You are her little slave who will never get his little winky wet and stinky.
Sultan: Only you knew. Poor cult-er. Cult loss still got you down? Find the vulnerabilities of others and then try to exploit them. The modus operandi of a narcissistic sociopath. The irony of someone who remarks on another’s penis size when his “manliness” is as tiny as they come.
***
A Rival for Sultan?
A new man has arrived on the scene. While he purports to respect Sultan, he has declared an intention that might cause friction among men, leading, in some cases, to rivalry, competition, and mutual combat. All advantages are fair in love and war.
The man’s name is Jeffery L. Blake and he posted this comment:
By Jeffrey L. Blake
I agree with Sultan. Kristin Kreuk is beautiful. The thought of her undressing is glorious. Something I picture every night. I intend to have it every night too. I plan to make her my wife. After that she won’t be undressing for anyone but me.
Sultan because I honor your loyalty to her I will consider you for best man at my wedding to Kristin.
It will be an honor to have you at the wedding and reception in Vancouver. However, as much as I respect you Sultan, I will not let you join us on the honeymoon. I will send you a few pictures of Kristin for your solitary pleasure. Do not share the pictures.
I don’t believe in long engagements so I plan to propose within two months after I have my first date with her. Sultan has inspired me to see she really is special. There is no one on earth like her. I also agree with Sultan, she is a great actress. I know Sultan has loved her for years, but I believe she needs someone like me.
Mr. Blake privately messaged me asking me to reach out to Sultan.
He wrote:
Dear Frank;
Let me just say that I appreciate the work you have done covering Nxivm, though I do not agree with your articles on Kristin. Of course, I am a rational man and open to civil debate.
I think the best approach to defending Kristin is not the approach Sultan takes -but to do so calmly, not show temper, and begin a dialogue, with a showing of respect to the opposing party.
In this way, I hope to gradually win over Kristin’s detractors and show that, in the end, she is, like many others, a victim of Keith Raniere and his method of operation.
The principle accusation against her is that she left quietly and did not speak out when she left or afterward when the branding scandal erupted on the pages of your publication and later in the New York Times, etc. And that, further, she finally gave out one message following your comments in the New York Post. I understand that some thought her message was weak and misleading.
I would argue that her prudence is not necessarily wrong. She has a career. She has people who depend on her and co-stars and others whose livelihood could be impacted if she became embattled. A discreet approach is not necessarily cowardly. After all, she knew that you and the others had the ability to win this battle. There may have been little she could add.
Please let Sultan know I am perfectly sincere in extending him an invitation to our wedding, Ask Sultan to get in touch with you at his earliest convenience so you can arrange sharing our contact info. I am hesitant to message him on Twitter until I know he supports my endeavor of a matrimonial alliance with Kristin.
Please tell him I would appreciate some pointers on what he thinks is the best approach to woo and win Kristin. Sultan has spent more time thinking about her then anyone else in the universe and it can save me a lot of time prepping for my first date with my intended. Of course I will pay Sultan for his time.
Yours sincerely,
Jeff Blake
***
Frank Report awaits Sultan’s reply.
For more posts about Sultan of Six
Sultan, I was pretty good friends with KK and when she left in 2017, I was pretty upset. If she did what she had to do
A comment/rumor said Ms. Kristin Kreuk sent a prank gift to her masturbating fans–a few REAL nudes of herself to a fake porn site, but labeled as fakes.
I gotta hand it to Kristin, the girl of my creams!
Frank!!!!
You forgot to post my all-time favorite article!!!!! The article was a Sultan and Kreuk piece with a map of of Canada.
The one written about..
“Deep in the North”…”Canada”….
“Jim Carrey is from”
“I believe it’s worthy of contemplation.”
*****
At any rate that article is the all time funniest thing I have ever “read”.
So much so I remember it from over 2 years ago.
Have a good night!
“I strongly suggest Sultan go offline and avoid social media until he gets the help he needs. His condition may not be able to cured, but it can be managed.”
The “mad spanker” needs to beg Jesus Christ for mercy. And get an exorcism to rid his enslaved mind of this Kristin Kreuk-demon that consumes him.
Didn’t even know they have soy in pakistan.
Sometimes, I wonder what Sultan of Six and Bangkok would be willing to do, to go on dates, with their dream-girls Lauren Salzman and Kristen Kreuk…
Would they be willing to fight each other to the death in gladiatorial combat…
Perhaps they’d both be willing to sell their souls to the devil……
Or would they be willing to offer-up DOS worthy collateral…..
Maybe, dare I say, they would be willing to be branded above the poop-shoot with KK and LS respectively…
It’s worthy of contemplation.
Observation from a daily reader: Frank, you know this is creepy AF right? Why is this story necessary? We get it, you have creepy, celebrity obsessed readers and it drives page views. This is unnecessarily salacious and gross. Dial up the class a little bit.
Frank, don’t listen to this person.
This is one of those comical & entertaining articles that you are known to post from time to time, to break the monotony.
You’ve got people trying to shut down anything they don’t personally wanna read.
You’ve got people telling you to shut down Suneel’s articles and his point of view.
You’ve got people trying to shut down these articles, under the PRETEXT of trying to ‘dial up the class’ a bit.
There’s nothing ‘unnecessarily gross’ about anything written here —– except to the most ‘prudish’ and ‘proper’ of people.
Sultan of Spank is somebody who deserves to be called out on his excessive protection of Kristin Kreuk over the years.
I find this article rather amusing personally, just like your articles about Horny Casper Van Dien and Keith’s Rodent Feet.
Don’t let the mob shut down any stories or points of view.
I agree with Babcock.
Get some humour, you bore. It’s hilarious.
No, Frank. Sultan is not threatening you, nor is that supposed to represent him shooting you with a gun. That is the famous “Who Killed Hannibal” meme. What he is saying in that picture is that you and the trolls have “killed” Ms. Kreuk, only to turn around and blame him for doing it. Killed is not to be taken literally, but figuratively as some type of negative action depending upon the context or subject being memed. Look it up if you doubt what I say.
I know you’re around 65 years old but get with the modern lingo before you assume something completely incorrect. If you submitted that to Twitter, they would have laughed it off.
Hi Sultan. Pretending you are not Sultan is very Sultan.
Right, anytime someone makes an intelligent and well-reasoned comment, it stands out like a big boner.
Well, I say this…..
Sultan is actually one of the more intelligent commenters; when he is not battling Bangkok or defending Kreuk.
Sultan is well-spoken and offers fairly salient points and interesting perspectives.
So yes, like a metaphorical big-boner, Sultan stands out, perhaps, I dare say, bigger than Long John Holmes!
Long John Holmes Bio:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Holmes_(actor)
Stop bashing your bishop.
Twitter would have laughed it off.
But not law enforcement!
Who are you—Mark David Chapman?
I remember when I first read the FR years ago, Kristin was listed and pictured as a likely member of Vanguard’s harem.
Now that seems to have been a false rumor unsupported by any facts or testimony…but regardless, she remains a silly slut in many readers’ imaginations to this day.
From what I understand, it has its genesis much earlier that, in Smallville fan wars over Kreuk and Mack, and the rival characters they portrayed, that spilled over here as the message boards dedicated to the series died out. Which is really sad and dysfunctional; there must be commenters/trolls who have been obsessed going as far back as when Frank was working for Raniere and the Bronfman sisters, for a bit of perspective.
I wonder if Kreuk imagined when she started in showbiz, that along with money and celebrity, she would also be hated by thousands for what her character did on Smallville, and that her face would be photo-shopped onto thousands of porn images and thousands of penises would be stroked in her honor.
It’s enough to drive a young actress into a cult.
There are no superman fans on this site. At most, Allison Mack/NXIVM apologists.
Kreuk was only discussed in a negative light because of her complete silence on something she was a part of to a high degree, with the woman (Mack) who she recruited branding pussies.
She had a moral responsibility to say something to draw attention, but she hid like a coward for all to see.
Simultaneously, she virtue signaled about causes that had nothing to do with her while staying silent about something that did.
On top of that, she took a lot of Canadian taxpayer money to pretend to fight for little girls against a pedophile on taxpayer-funded television, when her pedophile cult leader in real life was abusing females. She got richer pretending to do on television what she should have been doing in real life. She was even named in the pedophile revelations in the February 2012 Times Union articles.
Then came her lying statement that both held back her true role in the cult and the lie that she had left years before she did. Out to save her image.
Top it all of with mentally ill stalker Sultan Of Six, who has been pissing people off in the comments section since at least 2011 on John Tighe’s Saratoga In Decline blog, rolling that Kreuk-turd in glitter.
It is good for NXIVM members to be called out.
I think you may potentially be Spanky/SultanOfSix, or at least another spanker. You showed up only on articles that named Kreuk and always tried to change the subject.
I agree with anonymous 4-7 @ 3:57.
All are very good points that no doubt are true
Question of the day:
What does branded DOS slave Kris Kook have in common with the US Navy?
Both go down on entire ships.
Snorlax-
The joke is—what does Kristen Kreuk have in common with a submarine?
They’re both filled with seamen.
I am certainly not to be taken lightly. I too want to marry Kristin Kruek and I will be an excellent husband for her.
Based on my calculations of her residual income from past tv series even if she does not get any more acting jobs and comic cons I think we can live quite comfortably on her income.
There is no reason that she should be with Mr. Blake who is too old for her or Sultan of Six who is too possessive.
It’s time for a real genuine man who can give her what no other man can give: male beauty, devotion, subservience, sexual excitation, vulnerability, willingness to be a cuckold, and I am a good cleaner, cook and chauffeur.
Kristin – give me a chance forget about Sultan
You’re at the prime of your life. So am I.
Perhaps Jeffrey L. Blake, Lance Hanson- Royce III and old Spanky can get together for a game of Soggy Biscuit 🍪 while thinking about Kristin Crooked. Better make that biscuit halal [redacted].
I did watch one episode of “Smallville” recently where Kristen Kreuk fell off a horse and gave a very convincing imitation of a young woman in a coma.
She also has mastered the role of talentless, shyphilitic has been.
When are you going to admit Allison Mack was rude to you at a Comicon and that is why you hate her?
Just what every attractive woman desires.
Unwanted/unasked for male attention.
Especially from total strangers.
On the interwebs.
I had no idea women wanted that!
Thanks for sharing!
You are welcome!
Keep sending d×ck pix, too!
Because most women do not just throw up in their mouths and mock those with their friends upon receiving.
While a fan of Kristin Kreuk’s beauty, her acting has never impressed me. It’s just barely good enough for TV. She has simply lived a charmed life where her looks, not talent. have opened all the doors. This isn’t to say she is stupid. After all, she saw the signs and got out of the cult before most did. Just saying those looks open the doors and she is smart enough to take advantage. Sadly it does seem her days of steady work are over so soon, much like after Smallville, soon many will be going “I wonder what happened to Kristin Kreuk?”, likely after skimming by Smallville on Netflix.
Many will not even ask themselves this question, what has become of Ms. Kristin Kreuk when her permanent presence in series disappears. There are really enough good actors to remember, Ms. Kreuk is not one of them.
In five years and henceforth, the only time anyone will be reminded of Kris Kook is when they suffer a herpes outbreak.
This is such a simplistic view of the entertainment industry, one put forth by those ignorant from a real world, practical perspective of the requisite skills needed for the acting process and what it takes to develop a relatively stable career in a highly competitive industry where plenty of beautiful people strive and yet fail to attain consistent success. She’s not considered a model and actors do not have a long career making them multimillionaires if they’re just a “pretty face” in any country that has such an industry, some obviously more accredited, talented, and popular than others. Every actor loses their popularity as they get older, men much slower than women, because it’s primarily an industry of youth, ageist and more sexist on the female side. Kristin has been in the industry for twenty years and she’s actually been quite lazy about doing projects. She has remarked that she’s not that ambitious which implies that she could’ve done more work if she was and wanted to.
Nobody in the world thinks Kristin Crooked or Grace Park are talented, but nerds and ugly chicks. Pussy boys masturbate to them and ugly chicks hero worship them. That is what keeps them in the public eye. Not talent but having enough of a fan base, even if the fan base are majority weirdos, nerds and generally worthless beings who hand over a days wages to multimillionaire celebrities for their autographs. Sad. Most people have never heard of Kristin Crooked.
Why do you keep flogging this dead horse Spanky? It is fascinating to learn about your mental illness.
Also, this article brings up your creepy stalk in Albany. Why did you go to Albany Spanky? Wikipedia says Kreuk was born in Vancouver. Have you ever been to Vancouver to stalk her or was it only Albany?
— Pussy boys masturbate to them and ugly chicks hero-worship them. That is what keeps them in the public eye.
Are you Rosie O’Donnell?
The TV market in Canada is a limited market, the segment that Ms. Kreuk has worked in is quite small. The choices for Ms. Kreuk were always very limited unless she had to work overseas, but who would have hired her?