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Frank Report Caption Contest for Photo of Raniere & Girlfriend & Child

12/19/2017  |  Frank Parlato
Frank Report Caption Contest for Photo of Raniere & Girlfriend & Child
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Keith Raniere was photographed Sunday in San Pedro Garza Garcia walking with longtime girlfriend, Mariana Fernandez, and their infant son in a stroller.

But what were they saying, thinking and doing? With Vanguard on the lamb, it’s hard to know what is on his world’s smartest mind.

Mariana and Keith Raniere with their son in 2017.Mariana and Keith Raniere with their son in 2017.

YOUR CAPTION HERE

 

Now, for the fist time ever, Frank Report is conducting a contest: for best caption for this photo.

The prize for the winning caption is uncertain.

Please submit your best captions in the comments section below.

Help Frank Report by submitting your best caption for the photo above.

 

 

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Comments (18)

  • F. D. C. WillardDecember 19, 2017
    Ok, I will try one:

    If my tools were any good my child would be taken care of by child development specialists

    Not that good, but for starters.
  • Darth VanDouche - ChickenshitDecember 19, 2017
    Is this how I'm supposed to push a stroller? I've never done it before.
    • AnonymousDecember 19, 2017
      I’m voting Vandouhe so far
      • FlowersDecember 19, 2017
        Really? Because just imagine how cute little baby Keith would be, all bundled up in the stroller while the ladies push him around town.

        It could be the perfect solution for him…hiding in plain sight. If he speaks it won't even seem suspicious, because I bet his son is also able to speak in full sentences since birth, just like dear old dad was.
  • TENNISDecember 19, 2017
    Mariana: Maybe it was a little weird that we were having sex when Pamela was dying…?

    The Vanguard: Well… You see… it depends on your assumption. It depends on how you look at it. Could I play tennis when a loved one was dying? What if I put my heart and soul into the tennis? Perhaps I dedicate the tennis to the loved one… Perhaps tennis itself becomes about the loved one… Perhaps tennis is the loved one………..You understand?

    Mariana: [Silent]
  • InsiderDecember 19, 2017
    Mariana: Don't you think it's a little weird that everyone leaves us? I mean it's quite consistent what they say no? I was thinking about what you were saying about looking at how we are wrong. Maybe we are wrong in this, or at least need to be open to feedback…?

    Keith: You might want to look at your postulates around this.

    Mariana: Keith-y I'm trying to address this with you, please help me understand! For Kemar's sake.

    Keith: Please my sweet. I may look like a big and strong Vanguardian, but I am really a small stubby insecure man with severe attachment issues. Please don't question me my love. I'm taking on a penance right now for you.
  • InsiderDecember 19, 2017
    Keith: Mariana you have put on weight!! You're looking chubby.

    Mariana: I just had a baby!

    Keith: Are you using our child as an excuse for your overindulgence? That is a breach that you will never be able to heal. I will have to eat more as a penance for you.
  • FlowersDecember 19, 2017
    I'm pretty sure what Keith is saying is this :

    “Do you think if I put on the babies bonnet and got into the stroller, that the police won't be able to find me? I'm sure I could fit in that thing!”
  • F.D.C. WillardDecember 19, 2017
    At which age can infants be branded? And do Espians believe that you end up in hell when you die without being branded?
  • Caption thisDecember 19, 2017
    Vandaddy Keith to baby mama Marianna: I put my foot down on diaper duty.
    • FlowersDecember 19, 2017
      This kid is probably smart enough to change his own diapers.
  • RL's JunkDecember 19, 2017
    M- So it's beautiful that our bebe is speaking in full sentences at 4 months already, but I'm concerned about what he's been saying…

    K- Tell me

    M- Well he said 'Daddy bad man. Daddy evil sociopath! Mommy needs to run away from him! Run Mommy run!'
    • Winner !December 20, 2017
      Winner winner chicken dinner
  • hopefulDecember 19, 2017
    Keith: ” I don't know if I can make a full lap before shitting my pants…AGAIN! Fucking Mexican Montezumas! I'm going to have to stick with black so no one will notice the stains.”

    Mariana: “Honey, you could never keep to the DOS diet, this is perfect calorie control for you! Your mac and cheese poochy belly will shrink in no time!”

    Keith: “I miss Clifton Park pizza and Hooters burgers. Do I get Father of the Year yet? I want to make sure everyone in this f'ing community sees me pushing this stroller.”
  • Jonathan tuttleDecember 19, 2017
    Let's go one more lap. I am telling you, we are going to start a new trend with these matching caps and shirts…
  • QuestionDecember 20, 2017
    Is Keith really 5'7″? He looks shorter in this picture.
    • TurthDecember 20, 2017
      57 is his IQ.
  • Answer Photo opOctober 31, 2025
    Can you believe Frank would lick the glaze out of that crack,

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