This is Part 6 on our series of sex-slaver Keith Alan Raniere teaching his sex-slave, former actress Allison Mack.
The work of transcribing was accomplished by Marie White, working off a video of Keith Raniere’s conversation with Allison Mack.
In this part of the conversation, we get more exquisite word salad from Raniere delving further into his “love is pain” teachings. But the pleasure of this section is not Allison’s mindless acquiescence to the idiocy of his teachings or even his pretense to understanding them, but Allison’s admission of how Raniere taught her very soul.
By the way, please enjoy some of Keith’s best run-on sentences.
When we most feel love, we feel pain and the depth of pain that we feel measures that love and the depths of the pain we feel in the sacrifices that we make for love.
If we look at love as some sort of transcendent human emotion, you have the body, and when you’re a newborn, you don’t have a whole lot of complicated emotions, but you have this body and this body desires to eat, desires warmth, this sort of a thing, and you start to develop emotions and you have ‘fight or flight’ sort of things, and, as you get a little older, you start to have more variety of emotions, more different types of feelings, and feelings often are just that there are certain types of visceral, somatic things that we call an emotion and we have ideas attached to them.
K: And we find as we become more intellectually able, we find that those ideas inspire what we call emotions, and those emotions inspire ideas, so we can walk down the street and have had an experience, as I have with a rattlesnake, stepping on a rattlesnake, almost being bitten, walking down the street one summer day, stepping, and hearing the rattlesnake at my feet, and it was just a twig, but because of my unique experience, I go into fight or flight.
I think I better run away from that rattlesnake. So, it’s this very interesting complex interrelationships between this: ideas, abstractions, principles, emotions, that are emotions of meaning, emotions that are much more viscerally caused and the body itself
K: But we say love is beyond all that and when we say that someone loves someone even when they speak of love in the Bible, love is beyond all those things. How do you know someone loves someone? Is it in the good times?
No, it’s through the hardest times. It’s when there’s the most sacrifice. When someone maybe is even willing to sacrifice their life for the love of their partner, and we then see, and when we see that in a movie, or a play, or in real life, and we let ourselves go there, we feel this deep pathos. We feel this sense of love and love comes not from the receiving, it comes from the giving. It comes not from the satiation or the comfort. It comes from the sacrifice and the pain. That’s how we know it. That isn’t to say that it doesn’t exist in joy and, and happiness, but we know it through our pain, and if you have a fear of pain, you have a fear of knowing your own love. It’s not pain that is the problem. It’s the suffering, that’s the problem.
K: So all of these things that we are scared of in our personality that we hold away because we are scared of the pain they might bring is a way we also limit our capacity to experience our love.
So what the Source ideally can do, I hope, is by broadening the persons experience of themselves and giving them, if you will, reuniting them with these fragments, and this is only part of it, but this is one of the basis that they work off of. It also increases their capacity to experience love and to grow love within their life.
Allison: You mentioned “Reverence,” which is the curriculum that you developed, is sort of like what we call emotional… The Source in Reverence like you were saying, like, you, okay, so if the Source opens up this kind of cavern of experience that you shoved away for a long time, but, like, it’s, if you open the door to this thing, and you don’t know what to do with it, or how to interface with it, you don’t have the strength to withstand experience that comes back with that, then you have all this information about yourself but you’re kind of back where Robin Williams and Jeff Buckley are, like lost in the emotion of that experience.
K: Whereas in the Source, it’s hard for a person to be deeply authentic if they are inauthentic with themselves.
K: And people who are inauthentic with themselves, the nature being inauthentic with yourself is that your blind to it. Otherwise you would be authentic with yourself and then you would be sort of conning yourself on top of it.
K: But true self in authenticity is blindness. It’s an incompletion, but with understanding this philosophically and opening these areas up, then what are the practices, what are the actual practical tools that allow you to, if you will, it’s ah, it’s almost, ah, custom designed, or you might call it, ah, designer emotional states, designer emotional capacity, designer emotional transitions.
K: Not only how do you design them, but how do you practice them? See how do you become good at being angry. There are some people very good at being angry and they practice it daily and the more they practice the better they get. But imagine if you could have a precise understanding of emotions and the dimensions of all of those emotions and to be able to practice them and to practice the different aspects of them and practice even the experience that leads to love.
Allison: That’s just incredible, because, I think, when we first met, when we first started studying the work that you produce, and [I] just became a student of all the different exercises and the processes to build myself, I felt like I was in a university for my soul, ha,ha, like it was, I always loved education, but I never really have had a lot of formalized education and I think we kind of share in that, um, but this felt like education in terms like nothing intellectually firm, it was more like I was educating my inner light, my spirit or whatever I don’t know what to call it.
K: I think, well, in a way, you mentioned we share in that, um, now I think you are better than I was. I had a lot of formal education. I just didn’t, I abused it. I didn’t complete it, didn’t respect it the way maybe I could have. Um, in some ways I got some things from it that were very good and some ways I think I didn’t get things I could have gotten from it so, um, it’s more, I had the opportunity and the structure, whereas you didn’t have that same structure.
A.: That’s true
K: So you are better than I was.
A: Well I don’t know about that.
Well, we certainly got a load of knowledge from this last excerpt.
First, let’s enjoy some of Keith’s best word salad.
- When we most feel love, we feel pain and the depth of pain that we feel measures that love and the depths of the pain we feel in the sacrifices that we make for love
- As you get a little older, you start to have more variety of emotions, more different types of feelings, and feelings often are just that there are certain types of visceral, somatic things that we call an emotion and we have ideas attached to them.
- It’s this very interesting complex interrelationships between this: ideas, abstractions, principles, emotions, that are emotions of meaning, emotions that are much more viscerally caused and the body itself.
- It’s hard for a person to be deeply authentic if they are inauthentic with themselves.
- True self in authenticity is blindness.
- With understanding this philosophically and opening these areas up, then what are the practices, what are the actual practical tools that allow you to, if you will, it’s ah, it’s almost, ah, custom designed, or you might call it, ah, designer emotional states, designer emotional capacity, designer emotional transitions.
Keith also speaks of love.
- When someone … is even willing to sacrifice their life for the love of their partner… we then see… we let ourselves go there, we feel this deep pathos.
- Love comes not from the receiving, it comes from the giving.
- [Love] comes not from the satiation or the comfort. It comes from the sacrifice and the pain. That’s how we know it.
Keith never sacrificed anything for love but always required women to sacrifice. Keith took everything and always required of women to constantly give him tribute, money, their bodies and, if he could, their souls. Keith’s whole life was about satiation.
So what else is new? There is nothing new about this. We all know Keith was a crumb, a louse, a selfish, self-aggrandizing pig and liar.
What is fascinating is how successful, intelligent, beautiful women, who could get any number of intelligent men to join them in their plans and pursuits, would subjugate their own thinking and desires, even their self-interest to listen and follow this inarticulate, unattractive, clearly self-serving and wildly promiscuous man and think it was the greatest, most noble, smartest thing they could do with their lives.
Allison and others actually thought they were smarter than the rest, for they were wise enough to identify Keith’s greatness when others did not.
Listen to Allison speak: “The curriculum that you developed…. opens up this kind of cavern of experience … When we first met, when … [I] just became a student … I felt like I was in a university for my soul… I was educating my inner light, my spirit or whatever I don’t know what to call it.”
Some might call it brainwashing. That may be simplistic. It was the throwing away of the idea of self-preservation. The discarding of rational thinking and allowing another person to do her thinking. It was self-destruction masquerading as wisdom. And intermingled with it was unnatural sex, sleep deprivation, food deprivation, frequent punishment and degradation, the deliberate infliction of pain in the name of love and a perverse master-slave relationship that quelled healthy defiance and independent thinking.
She was not educating her inner light, but she was thinking she was, while destroying her inner light and her future.
Her cavern of experience was dark and ugly and one from which she almost did not escape. But for her arrest and conviction, she might be in Nxivm tomorrow and recruiting women to be branded today.
Her time with Raniere was about 10 years of her life. Most likely, she will never see him again. Her time with him was perhaps a university for her soul, but not in the way she meant it. No doubt Allison learned a lot and perhaps it made its impression on her soul. Perhaps she is still learning, still processing.