Investigative journalist Michael Volpe recently wrote a story about Luigi DiRubba’s divorce and custody case.
DiRubba, a chiropractor, lost his children and life savings after venturing into CT Family Court.
Volpe wrote:
He had six children, a thriving business, and he was worth millions.
After approximately six years in the Connecticut family court system, most of it is gone.
He told me he was worth approximately $4 million when it started, and all that’s left is his chiropractic practice.
Worse than that, he no longer has any contact with any of his six children.
All of it, he told me, was due to the rulings in court.
Not only did he have to pay exorbitant legal fees to his own lawyers, but he was regularly ordered to pay his ex-wife’s legal fees, along with all fees for numerous third parties appointed by the court.
The judge who made most of these decisions is James Kenefick. Here is part of Judge Kenefick’s decision.
Judge Kenefick is retired and serves as a referee, or junior judge.
Dr. DiRubba told me his own lawyers had a conflict and worked against him and behalf of another client.
That proof never made it to court because her paramour was also his law firm’s client.
Below is part of Dr. DiRubba’s complaint against his attorneys.
Dr. DiRubba, who never had any problems with the law, has been the subject of numerous arrests and restraining orders.
On February 5, 2016, Dr. DiRubba was visited at his home by police, accused of physically abusing his wife. He was escorted out of his home and arrested.
Though the charges were eventually deemed meritless, the arrest was used to get a restraining order, and his ex-wife got possession of the home and children.
Dr. DiRubba told me he never saw the inside of his home again and he hasn’t seen some of his six children for as long as six years.
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Here are a few more details on DiRubba’s CT Family Court experience
DiRubba and ex-wife Annamaria Mongillo filed for divorce on February 25, 2016. The attorneys went hog wild on this one.
The court heard and addressed 712 motions filed by both parties addressing issues of custody, visitation, and financial matters.
Annamaria Mongillo employed the “Silver Bullet,” making domestic violence and child endangerment complaints from the start. DiRubba was arrested six times and had several ex parte protective orders issued against him. Each charge was dismissed and expunged.
Psychologist Suzzanne Bonasi witnessed and reported to the GAL that one of the children made a false report against the father to the Hamden Police Department for physical abuse.
Bonasi told police it did not occur. The GAL Janis LaLiberte chose not to report this to the court. The police report stated the mother instructed the daughter to contact police.
Dr. Robert Horowitz witnessed the mother stating that “she was going to report sexual abuse” if DiRubba didn’t stop trying to see his children.
While hungry lawyers on both sides fed sumptuously on the DiRubba divorce, the financial burden fell solely on Dr. DiRubba. He paid $3.6 million.
Judge Kenefick ordered DiRubba to pay $210,000 in annual child and spousal support. After three years, it was reduced to $110,000 but DiRubba was ordered to pay his ex-wife’s legal expenses and a court-ordered Guardian Ad Litem in whose appointment he had no input. This cost him $300,000.
The three older children have not had a visit with their father since November 2017, and the three younger children have not seen him since September 3, 2018.
In 2018, during an investigation, the GAL admitted she was aware of Anna Mongillo’s false allegations in 2016 against DiRubba. During pretrial and trial, the GAL kept this information top secret from the court since it might upset the feeding trough she and the lawyers were satiating themselves on.
The GAL finally admitted Mongillo was fabricating the charges against DiRubba, but only after DCF investigators contacted her in 2018.
Judge James Kenefick presided over a 20-day sporadic trial from July 2017 through February 2018.
DiRubba claims he fell asleep on the bench at times during the trial.
Final judgment was entered on June 11, 2018.
DiRubba alleges Charles “is best friends with Judge Kenefick’s daughter, who is an Attorney Ad Litem at the same Court.”
DiRubba records an ex parte hearing with Judge Kenefick and Charles where the lady attorney screamed at the old judge, saying, “I want my fucking money now!”
Judge Kenefick ordered DiRubba to pay the legal fees of Marianne Charles, Mongillo’s well-connected attorney, for $400, 000.
Meanwhile, the results were not too good for DiRubba. It is hard to overcome six arrests – even if they are all false and expunged. Especially when the GAL chooses not to report the dispositions of all arrests to the court.
The mother got primary custody and DiRubba, because of Mongillo’s false charges of abuse, could only see the children through supervised visitation.
The parties engaged in post-judgment litigation. The mother did not want DiRubba to see his children at all.
There have been 41 post-judgment motions.
On October 6, 2020, Judge Leo Diana rendered his decision on two post-judgment motions, granting the mother’s motion to terminate DiRubba’s joint custody and visitation and preclude him from communicating with his children.
For two years DiRubba tried to comply with the court to get supervised visits back.
On May 2, 2022, Judge Connors ordered DiRubba complied with the requirements for reunification. DiRubba would be able to see his children.
As is so often the case, CT family court plays a lovely game of musical judges. Judge Kenefick ordered an expedited hearing for August 2022. Charles filed for a continuance. Judge Grossman granted the continuance to September 16, 2022.
But when the court date came, DiRubba was there, but the mother declined to appear. How could she? She moved to Florida and was outside the jurisdiction of CT courts.
You can’t portray yourself as a super single mom saying you love your kids and car for your kids and are protecting your kids, while maliciously alienating them from their Dad all for alternate motives…. money. No right minded person does that. That doesn’t make you a good caring parent. It makes you an abusive insecure control freak, who lies, cheats, steals, manipulates and very sadly uses their own children for selfish reasons. That is not love, that is hate and mentally destructive behavior on your on children showing envy and jealously on your own kids for normalcy which you cannot comprehend.
False Allegations of Abuse During Divorce: The Role of Alienating Beliefs
https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/false-allegations-of-abuse-during-divorce-the-role-of-alienating-beliefs
“False allegations of abuse are an all-too-common phenomenon during divorce and child custody proceedings. One parent fabricates a false allegation against the other parent to gain leverage in court and to undermine the parent-child relationship going forward. The frequency of false allegations in custody cases is not fully understood, with estimates ranging from 2% to 35% of all cases involving children.1 Whatever the percentage, attorneys, judges, and mental health experts all know firsthand that it is a vexing problem in court cases. And nothing can disrupt, sidetrack, or impede a case more than an allegation of abuse that eventually proves to be false.”
Here are 7 common alienating beliefs that occur in false allegations:
1. “I am afraid our child will love you more than me and will want to live with you.”
2. “I want my child all to myself.”
3. “If you don’t want me, you don’t get our child, either.”
4. “I want to exact revenge on you, and what better way than to deprive you of your child.
5. “I don’t want my child to be anything like you.”
6. “I’ve been the real parent in this family, not you.”
7. “I don’t want my child to love their new stepparent because I might be pushed out.”
REPORT A JUDGE TO THE FBI.
IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOUR CHILD(REN) ARE 5, 25 OR 35. PSYCHOLOGICAL CHILD ABUSE IS A CRIME LISTED IN THE DSM-5 V995.51 A SHARED DELUSION • PSYCHOLOGICAL CONTROL
JUDGES THAT ORDER PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE NEED TO BE REPORTED AND CHARGED.
EMOTIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE DEFINITION BY THE UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE: “HARMING ONES RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS/HER CHILDREN”
https://www.childabusivejudges.com
There are a substantial amount of parents claiming parental alienation when the relationship was not a healthy one. These psychologist are appearing uneithical and incompetent. The GAls are running the show. When reunification therapy is ordered in all cases. The continued forced appointment of the same psychologist and gals. There are hundreds of Calverys running around in the family courts. There is no objective evaluation. Attorneys are not qualified to to make determination of treatment for mental health services. Yet they are allowed to do so. That’s on the family court judges in my opinion. There is no evidancery hearings. When you have open complaints swept under the table and the allowance for possible the illegal and uneithical conduct to continue. Keeping the players in the game. The alienation industry/ AFCC. The are no standard of practice followed with court appointed therapist. Where are the written standard of what is considered a danger to the public? . Determined by a group of people possibly protecting the broken system. Not appearing to hold anyone accountable Why are we allowing court appointed psychologist to not follow the eithical guidelines set forth in their profession?. At what point has it been excepted for an attorney at law to engage in and render mental health determinations? . Under judicial ammunty. The relentless failure to address the GaL problem in the system. Why do we have a code of conduct for gals if they don’t have to follow them? At what point acting out of their appointment engaging in mental health arena is not considered a danger? Attorneys consulting with course of mental health services? They are completely incompetent to do so! There is nothing above board and safe about what is happening in the court system in many cases. Stamping everything parental alienation is the excuse the system is hidding behind to continue with appears to be a parimid scam. We need the public to be allowed to know what is happening in family court. As well as ask questions. We need some one to step up to the plate and put an end to the insanity. Instead of violationing freedom of speech as an excuse to operate under the radar. Considerably so in our legal system. Laws being passed. . If you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem. Connecticut citizens are not criminals for calling the system out on line and asking for real changes . Stop labeling people discruntaled, crazy and delusional. Your system is broken, dysfunctional and appears to be possibly violating peoples due process, civil rights and constitutional rights. Please pay attention.
Before you even touch questionable parental alienation , you need to fix the parameters for DV and TRO’s so a parent is not handcuffed, because the utilization of the criminal system does affect the Family Court system from the get go. False allegations are running rampant in the divorce industry because the loophole is to crush the person in the criminal system to advance in Family Court with custody and financial gain. Attorneys admit they coach their clients! Giving ample time for the grooming process on children depicting one parent is all bad and the other parent all good That’s how the insidious deterioration of parent child relationship occurs with one parent having control grooming and brainwashing the child.
You make false allegations, a punishable crime, equivalent, to the crime claimed you see how quickly things will change you have to start from the beginning you can’t Band-Aid the issue and the Corrupt Attorneys have to be disbarred.
Brainwashing Techniques used by Alienating Parents
“Programming” and “Brainwashing” are two terms used by Dr. Stanley Clawar and Brynne Rivlin [1] to describe the methods and techniques used by alienating parents to manipulate their children into rejecting and/or hating the target parent. According to Clawar & Rivlin (2013), “programming and brainwashing is a process (intentional and unintentional) whereby a parent … attempts to limit, damage, and interfere with the love, contact, and image of the target parent” (p. 9). In their 25-year study of 1000 divorced/separated families commissioned by the American Bar Association, they identified 12 brainwashing techniques used by alienating parents (Clawar & Rivlin, 2013, pp. 31-63);
Denial-of-Existence Technique ~ One of the basic techniques parents use to assault the character of the other parent is to deny or not acknowledge the social existence of the other parent. The manner of denial can vary greatly. One common technique is simply never to talk about the other parent. By excluding any discussion of the other parent or ignoring the topic when raised by the child, the brainwashing parent can send a subtle message to the child that the other parent is not significant. He or she does not exist in our conversation, and therefore, he or she does not, in social terms, exist.
The “Who, Me?” Technique ~ A subtle but powerful technique is to make indirect attacks on the other parent. When questioned about such attacks, the brainwashing parent will say, “Who, me?” The programmer indicates that he or she meant no such thing and that the listener or child was certainly misinterpreting. The list of indirect attacks is infinite, but the basic pattern is that the programmer/brainwasher attacks something about the character, lifestyle, past, present, or future of the target parent.
Middle-Man Technique ~ By speaking to the child about issues that should be first discussed with the other parent, the programmer/brainwasher can compromise and/or damage the child’s relationship with or image of the target parent. For instance, discussing time-schedule arrangements by asking questions such as, “Do you think you would like to have more time with Mom?” often places the child in the middle. The pressure on the child is to make a choice in front of an inquiring parent.
Circumstantial Technique ~ By manipulating, changing, rearranging, and commenting on time, the programming parent tries to gain dominance in the eyes of the children. “Your mother’s always late for delivery and pickup. I wonder if she would be late for her own funeral.” The other parent told her children, “He’s always early for pickup, but late for delivery.” These parents are attacking character by discussing punctuality. Not informing the other parent of school dates, plays, conferences, ceremonies, awards, sporting events, and the like is a way of signifying to the children that the other parent lacks importance.
“I Don’t Know What’s Wrong with Him” Technique ~ Many parents have developed a technique whereby they create and/or exaggerate differences between themselves and the other parent in front of the children. A behavioral pattern is that arguments develop at the time of pickup and delivery of the children. Often the initial phase of the conversation is polite and appropriate. If the conversation goes on beyond a certain point, however, the brainwashing parent might instigate an argument by using a phrase or presenting an idea that he or she consciously or unconsciously knows will incite the other parent.
Ally Technique ~ Attempting to get the children to side with one parent against the other occurs both in and outside of marriage. At the time of separation, divorce, or custody conflict, however, the attempt to ally the children is stronger. An example would be asking the children direct questions such as, “Don’t you think your mother is wrong to try to get all the money she can from us?” Other such questions are “You’re a sensitive child—do you think it’s fair for a father to have all that money? He just bought himself a new car and a house—look at how we have to live.”
Morality Technique ~ Programming behaviors often include moral judgments against the target parent concerning his/her values, lifestyle, choice of friends, successes or failures in life (career, financial, relational), or residential choice. These criticisms are intended to elevate one’s own position in comparison with the target parent, who becomes diminished by this good/bad dichotomy. Criticizing behaviors are often insidious, occurring over a period of time with different degrees of intensity but always powerful. Like the wearing away of a stone constantly assaulted by waves, the child’s perception of the target parent changes from its original, more positive view, finally conforming to the programming parent’s negative opinions and sentiments. In such cases, the effect can become almost irreversible. These children are no longer able to accept both parents as equally good. In successful brainwashing, even if the child is deprogrammed with valid counter-information or has positive experiences with the other parent, the child may rewrite reality or will rationalize, ascribing ulterior motives to the target parent in the service of maintaining the beliefs of the indoctrinating parent.
Threat of Withdrawal-of-Love Technique ~ This is a coercive, powerful, and almost universally successful technique utilized by parents who programme. Here, the children come to fear rejection or loss of love from a parent if they express love or a desire to be with the other parent. It becomes implicitly or explicitly understood that to be loved and accepted, the child must become a cohort and also turn against the other parent.
“I’m the Only One Who Really Loves You” Technique ~ The intent is to create the belief that the target parent or those who are associated with that parent are not sincere in their love and caring for the child. Genuine love, interest, and involvement, by contrast, exist only in the heart of the programmer. The child is led to peer beneath the surface where ulterior motives lurk. The child comes to believe himself/herself a fool for being duped into attributing such positive qualities of love and caring to an obviously clever person who is bent on driving a wedge between the parent (programmer) and child.
“You’re an Endangered Species” Technique ~ One method of instilling distrust, fear, lack of love, or the belief that a parent is unable to care properly for the child is accomplished through a procedure of judgmental, opinionated, and negative commentary and/or physical inspection and interrogation once the child arrives “home” again. Through these techniques, the child comes to interpret anything associated with the target parent as wrong or unsafe and to perceive his or her ongoing existence as being at risk with each contact. If the child is tired from a full weekend in which there were enjoyable activities, the interpretation might be, “Your father always wears you out. What’s wrong with him? Doesn’t he know you have school tomorrow?”
Rewriting-Reality Technique ~ This technique is also referred to as rewriting history or rescripting. Through rewriting reality, the brainwasher attempts to convince a child to doubt his or her ability to perceive reality. A child may observe a scenario unfold from beginning to end, but as the brainwashing parent repetitively goes over the scenario and resists the child’s interpretation, the original and “true” reality is ultimately filtered out and the rewritten script is eventually adopted. The basic reward is parental acceptance and love.
Physical-Survival Technique ~ Although each of these syndromes, administered individually or in combination, works its inexorable effects on children, the use or threat of physical punishment is one of the most potentially injurious acts for children. When a brainwashing parent or other agent resorts to threatening and/or physically punishing a child, it is usually the result of frustration over the child’s noncompliance in adopting the programme
Footnote:
[1] Clawar, S. S., & Rivlin, B. (2013). Children held hostage second edition: Identifying brainwashed children, presenting a case, and crafting solutions. American Bar Association.
Dear Concerned, There is a significant amount of father’s rights supporters teaching and encouraging the parental alienation scam. My former spouses came home from applying for a mortgage stating he will not be paying child support. His mortgage broker told him he doesn’t have to pay it. This is where the alienation scam was born. The GaL was insisted on. The paperwork written to the GaL was perfectly engineered towards parental alienation. My former spouses attempt to toss me out of my own house. The GaL is requested relentlessly by father’s rights attorneys. She has a reputation for disliking women/mother’s. She with held evidence of the father engaging in alienating behavior. All swept under the rug by attorneys. The GaL even fighting with the clinical psychologist. Opposing counsel contacting the psychologist. I will not go into details but evidence of damaging emotional abuse and physical disapline on Dads behalf. The child had been through a few years of counseling prior and identity abuse she was experiencing. There were siblings involved. The information unfolding was indicative of narrsatic family dynamics . With the child being targeted as the non favored child. The father’s behavior was a repeat performance of the situation in his own family. Learned behaviors of the narrsatic family dynamics and physically abusive house hold. The child required intense therapy for CPTSD after reunification therapy. Because of the damage of being relentlessly told she had to except abusive parents behavior. She was not allowed to express her own feelings. Dad continue to harass both the mother and child after reunification was terminated. Close to getting a restraining order. Siblings relationship no longer exists. Dispite attempt to develop a relationship with siblings. Sibling stating that they are instituting tough love. If you don’t speak to Dad we are not going to have a relationship with you. All encourage and couched by father’s rights groups in the area teaching and encouraging. Assistance in engaging bad behavior. Thousand in GaL fees and psychologist. Leading to a complete severing of relationship between parents and siblings. The need for intense therapy to repair the damage of narrsatic parenting. Forced reunification therapy. Because a very troubled parent was unable to take responsibility for their own behavior. The GaL is solely focused on alienation and has a history of being appointed on case driven to alienation. Bad judges who give preferencal treatment to attorneys. Attorney intimidated by the judge and GaL to go along with the game. Boxes full of evidence. Complaints ignored and swept under the rug so the system doesn’t have to recognize the abuse and material misrepresentation of facts going on in family court. You can peddle what ever PA information you want. There are many people mostly women being subject and the victim of what in my opinion is fraud. Children best interest is not represented in family court. The system needs to be shut down. Parental alienation claims need to be banished from family court. Instead people are labeled and threatened. Pay attention
clean up your genders backyard before you tread on others. and before you state and try to lay claim on the small % of PA fight for false allegations to be a punishable crime EQUIVALENT to the crime allegedly claimed…when start at the CAUSE of problem you do big clean up along the way and the trash takes itself out. STAY FROSTY my friend PA would not start if there went false allegations and systematic coerce tactics on the children to split the situation for financial and custody gains which in turn regards more cash … and the the trash lawyers keep running the meter.
“”””Those who weaponize the children against the target parent are selfish and usually have a disordered pathology (such as narcissism/cluster B). Parental alienation is a form of bullying, abuse, and narcissistic control. Nothing to do with love. The alienating parent may seem to have the upper hand, and certainly, they inflict a huge amount of damage, but they are not doing so well as human beings. Bullies are typically cowards. Liars are often trying to compensate for a sense of lack and inadequacy. They play victim, protector, hero … but they are ‘playing’ that part. It’s a mask, a façade. They don’t seek help because they don’t want to fix themselves. They will never admit fault. They don’t know how to love. Not themselves, not their children. In fact they are the child and the child becomes their parent (parentification) or “best friend”. They use the children as their shield so the spotlight is not on them.””””
It’s only one group who is gender profiling. No one ever said their weren’t women engaged in bad behavior. Your bias conduct and failure to address the well being of children is obviousl. Your agenda in the state is clear. You have no intention of looking out for kids. Clean up your act. You are a significant part of the problem in Connecticut. Everyone knows it.
Alienation was never an issue until no-fault divorce, and the very low standard of claimed DV. This is allowed the abuse which opens the door for the Alienation to run rampant. No one saying that there isn’t false alienation claims, but you have to get to the cause of the problem, you see how quickly false allegations and false allegations of alienation declines, when there’s financial incentive the best interest of the children, arevnot put at the forefront.
Wisdom
Family courts, counsellors, and psychologists should be looking out for the children who are emotionally cut off from one parent with whom there was previously a loving relationship. Now the child finds that parent repellent and doesn’t want anything to do with any aspect of that parent’s life. Everything about that ‘target’ parent is deemed to be bad, wrong, and dangerous, and the child might express anxiety when the other parent is mentioned. The child is free to judge and criticise – they behave as if they’re above the other parent/grandiosity. There will probably be psychological ‘splitting’ where one parent is all good/a hero and the other parent is a monster/bad. There’s no grey – the alienated parent doesn’t even appear to be a force for good in the child’s memories. The alignment with one parent is strong with shared (delusional) thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. There may also be parentification, a kind of role reversal where the child regulates the parent, and acts as confidant and protector. The child has been privy to adult concerns and conversations. Bottom line; one parent is usually willing to cooperate, co-parent, find solutions, be reasonable, they are exhausted, heartbroken, and might not present well (and who would given this dreadful experience), and another parent, the alienator, is confident, charming, absolutely sure of their ‘victory’, but also throwing allegations, and not willing to cooperate or co-parent. These are a few signs of both alienated child/alienating parent, and plenty for the courts and counsellors and schools and anyone involved in child protection to be alert to and act upon.
Remember, those who manipulate and bully and lie are actually weak. It is the target parent who is strong, having to undue the damage and expose the truth. Those who weaponize the children against the target parent are selfish and usually have a disordered pathology (such as narcissism/cluster B). Parental alienation is a form of bullying, abuse, and narcissistic control. Nothing to do with love. The alienating parent may seem to have the upper hand, and certainly, they inflict a huge amount of damage, but they are not doing so well as human beings. Bullies are typically cowards. Liars are often trying to compensate for a sense of lack and inadequacy. They play victim, protector, hero … but they are ‘playing’ that part. It’s a mask, a façade. They don’t seek help because they don’t want to fix themselves. They will never admit fault. They don’t know how to love. Not themselves, not their children. In fact they are the child and the child becomes their parent (parentification) or “best friend”. They use the children as their shield so the spotlight is not on them. It’s sometimes hard to imagine that bullies fear abandonment and loss, and they also fear the people they bully as they pose as victim. But it’s a lot of fear which is the opposite of love. Their world is one of control, manipulation, vengeance, lies, and a life of pretending due to unresolved issues and trauma from earlier life which manifests. They take from others and inflict harm because of all that fear and lack. They take advantage of others’ kindness and love. They are jealous and envy who are pure with good intentions. The target parents love threatens them. So while the targets have to deal with the repercussions of their alienating, abusive and manipulative behaviors on the target and childre, who would want to be like them? We have to distance ourselves from them (not always easy because of kids). They don’t change and they have to live with themselves and they only survive because of the victim persona they have indoctrinated the children with. so they have their supply constantly at their side so they are not alone. Surviving parental alienation and/or narcissistic abuse (often going hand in hand), are some of the most beautiful, empathetic, kind, wise, strong, compassionate, and wonderful human beings anyone could ever know, unfortunately they became the punching bag, the black sheep. The target parent is the real victim and the hero at the same time, they are the true warriors. They – you my friend, the alienated parent – are the ones who know how to love and restore truth to the false narrative for the children, unfortunately it takes time but never give up. Shame on her for diseasing the children from half of themselves.
Any updates on the kids? Maybe Frank she interview the mother and adult children. Love to here their side.
After 6 years of false narrative, grooming, brainwashing and coercive tactics on the children it should be a great fictional suspense publish worthy and documentary.
Hey why not do a psychological evaluation on all and get down to the nitty gritty of problem … address the cause instead of chasing the effects 6 years later
5:41. Follow along. Parental alienation claims are still entertained when abuse has been proven. Children are forced to have relationship with abusers. .The laws and agreements are discrimination. The quack psychologist are trying to tell the public that functional members of society are only “crazy” when it comes to family court issues. The elected officials following along. Mothers or fathers. Protecting criminals has become profitable. A great deal of funding. Follow along. Pay no attention to the man ( AFCC) behind the curtain. It would appear family court is rigged and harmful to the public. No one wants to clean it up because of the profit.
In total agreement, but PA still exist either due to pathological problems in the individual the alienating parent, or it is encouraged by the paid actors of a malaligned individual because it is system in financial and custody Gaines, and if they have to utilize the criminal system to help him with that they’re in covers to do that also. So we’re both correct it’s multi faceted multi primed, and when it comes down to their a mini parties involved with their own self interest, using the children as pawns and using the pathological parent as their vehicle to their gains.
What is the wife doing? Any updates? How are the 6 kids? Any updates? Maybe we should be more concerned how the children are doing?
You haven’t been following this too well.
This should give you a good glimpse on how they are doing…. Encapsulated Delusional Disorder and Alienation of children in divorce and separation
APA Definition of Delusional Disorder
delusional disorder in DSM–IV–TR, any one of a group of psychotic disorders with the essential feature of one or more nonbizarre delusions that persist for at least 1 month but are not due to schizophrenia. The delusions are nonbizarre in that they feature situations that could conceivably occur in real life (e.g., being followed, poisoned, infected, deceived by one’s government). Diagnosis also requires that the effects of substances (e.g., cocaine) or a medical condition be ruled out as causes of the delusions. Seven types of delusional disorder are specified, according to the theme of the delusion: erotomanic, grandiose, jealous, persecutory, somatic, mixed, and unspecified. Criteria changes for delusional disorder in DSM–5 include the following: The delusions may be either nonbizarre or bizarre (i.e., implausible), and their potential presence as a result of an ingested substance, a medical condition, or another mental disorder sometimes associated with firmly held delusional beliefs (e.g., obsessive-compulsive disorder, body dysmorphic disorder) must be ruled out. Formerly called paranoid disorder.
An encapsulated delusion is a belief in one area of life which is fixed and unshakeable even in the face of evidence to the contrary. Encapsulated delusional disorder, is seen in cases of alienation of children, when a child is showing the signs of psychological splitting and is aligned with a parent who has an unshakeable belief that the other is harmful to the child’s wellbeing. Encapsulated delusions are extremely powerful and in their strongest display, will cause the holder to bend all evidence to shape their beliefs. Children in the care of a parent who is suffering from encapsulated delusions, become fearful, anxious and bound into the belief of the parent that the parent who is being rejected, is harmful. When a child suffers a fixed and unshakeable belief that a parent is harmful, where there is clear evidence that the parent is not, the child is considered to be suffering from significant emotional and psychological harm. In such circumstances, removal from the care of the parent who is suffering the delusion is often necessary.
Encapsulated delusions occur in people who in many other areas of life appear to be normal. The fixation of the delusion, which is not accompanied by hallucination, is the key symptom. The person suffering from such delusions, is unusually obsessed by the focus of the delusion, believing that they have discovered something or know something that others do not know. This belief is often accompanied by a grandiosity which is narcissistic in nature and which causes the sufferer to believe that they are better than others, because they know a truth that others don’t. Efforts to dissaude the sufferer are futile and in fact can escalate the fixed nature of the belief. Unfortunately, for children in the care of someone who suffers encapsulated delusion, there is no choice but to enter into the shared persecutory belief that the other parent is harmful.
Children who grow up believing that a healthy parent is dangerous to them when they are not, suffer significant harm. In some cases of encapsulated delusion, the beliefs are so fixed and so harmful, that a parent will demand that a child is medically examined, for example, for signs of sexual abuse. In the absence of evidence that the child has suffered sexual abuse, to make such a demand is, by any measure of responsible and healthy parenting, itself, abuse. Sadly, in too many cases of encapsulated delusional disorder, this is one of the outcomes and this is often the point at which the threshold for significant harm is considered to be crossed and the state in the form of local authority child protection services step in.
Encapsulated or shared persecutory delusions, are uncommon in alienation cases, but they are one of the range of reasons why, children are removed from the care of a parent. Such a persecutory belief arises from behaviours which are defensive in nature and which are usually fear and anxiety based. The belief that the other parent is seeking to do harm, simply by wanting to have a relationship with the child, appears to stem in many cases, from unresolved childhood abuse in the parent suffering the delusion. The projection of the unresolved issues onto the child, especially during the period post divorce or separation, when anxiety is already high, is often the beginning of an episodic reaction in the parent who is suffering the delusion. Over time, the child becomes bound into a process by which, the rejected parent’s love begins to be experienced as persecutory and something to be afraid of. This causes serious emotional and psychological harm.
In my experience of working with families where encapsulated delusional disorder has been present, the suffering parent will bend all incoming evidence which contradicts the delusion they are suffering, to ensure their belief is upheld. So, for example, anyone who presents evidence that the rejected parent is not persecutory, but is healthy and well, becomes aligned in the mind of the sufferer to the rejected parent and becomes persecutory simply by their existence. In such circumstances, where the Court itself is also often experienced as persecutory, the parent binds the child tighter into the sharing of this encapsulated delusion, making it impossible to protect the child without removal from the parent. It must be recognised, that even where a child is removed in such circumstances, every effort is made by the Court to maintain a relationship between the child and the parent they have been removed from, in a way that is safe.
A good example of a shared persecutory delusion is where a parent believes that a child has been abused, during a period of time when the person being accused of abuse, could not have been responsible. A belief that abuse is taking place when a parent is not in the country, for example, which leads to the construction of an explanation of how the supposed abuser returned to the country without others knowing, to abuse the child and then left, again without anyone being aware of it, other than the parent suffering the delusion. When a child echoes the beliefs of the parent, in a situation where there is clear evidence to the contrary, especially when this leads to the parent wanting to have the child medically examined, action has to be taken to protect the child.,
The current climate in the UK, in which there is an almost mantra like repetition, that all allegations of parental alienation are used by abusive men to control protective mothers, is ignorant of the reality of the serious underlying psychological and mental health conditions which cause alienation reactions in children. The idea that a parent can go into Court and claim that a child is being alienated and that this automatically overrides existing evidence of domestic abuse, is simply not upheld by the reality of how cases of alienation in children are managed.
Cases of alienation of children are serious and taken very seriously. A finding of fact of domestic abuse would preclude a case being considered as alienation at the Clinic, as this is considered to be a contributory factor to the child’s rejection. In the absence of any such finding, psychological and psychiatric assessments are sought, in order to determine the presence or absence of mental health problems, ruling in or out serious conditions such as shared encapsulated persecutory delusions, is part of the differentiation process. Only when there has been a long process of observation, clinical assessment and differentiation, where a parent is demonstrating an incapacity to recognise harmful behaviours, does removal of the child on the basis of safeguarding occur and when it does, it is always the Court which makes that decision. The current popular narrative about alienation, which is promulgated by ideological researchers and a group of parents supporters, who are themselves, likely to be on the spectrum of fixed and unshakeable thinking, is a huge distortion of what really happens in Court.
Which is why it is so important to pull apart what we mean by alienation of children in divorce and separation and to recognise and acknowledge that, however unpalatable it may seem, removal of children to protect them from harm, is sometimes necessary. As in all child protection work, careful differentiation takes place before intervention. Believing that someone can simply say a child is being alienated and that overrides everything else, including proven domestic abuse, is, so far from the truth as to represent a shared delusion in itself.
Alienated children are in need of protection because they are being abused. Protecting them is our primary responsibility because of the seriousness of the harm that they are suffering. The Court is the place in which those matters are recognised and addressed. Of course, some will claim alienation when it is nothing of the sort, however, the stringent court processes, ensure that those cases are identified. Alienation is not something which is taken lightly and what lies beneath genuine cases, should be of serious concern to anyone who cares about the wellbeing of children
Every Family court case is different.
The only constant is:
Most who control the worst cases in family courts are the kind of people who go to drag shows.
Frank , Just so you know who you are supporting. I have had conversations with Dr. Dubric in regards to the court system. On multiple occasions he has attempted for me to post and discuss his story. I discussed with him that I had an interview scheduled to speak to a Connecticut reporter to discuss the problems in family court. He requested to be in the interview. I said no . Suggested he call and schedule his own interview. The day after my interview I got a phone call from the reporter concerned for my safety. Stating a man called the editor stating he was a husband of one of the women interviewed. Attempting to stop any information about the court system from being published. From the prospective of a woman/mother. Joan. A woman/mother reached out because dispite court orders hasn’t seen her children in a few years. Joan informed her that the article being written had enough women. They only needed father’s to speak out. The reporter stated that was a complete untruth. I have watched her attack women falsely accused of parental alienation. Joan, you have littered the internet with negative information about women. Reported to recommend an AFCC GaL who has a history of being relentlessly bias against women. She was the GAl on my case. I have plenty of evidence about her conduct. Pushing parental alienation agenda. I think the readers in the Frank blog should have an honest view into the truth about what is happening in Connecticut family court and all matters surrounding it. Are we interested in a fair and hosest justice system? Are we interested in pushing parental alienation to rule the court system? Joan, if you are professionals and truely concerned about abuse and alienation why do you refuse to talk about false claims? I’m in complete support of anyone despite gender that has been a victim of the court. I’m interested in the pursuit of trust, liberty and justice in our family court system. Children living safe for abuse and harm. What are you fighting for? Possibly taking custody away from mother’s? Because your behavior has consistently demonstrated this.
Manipulating a son, a daughter, a child — all the above, to make them HATE a father or mother is the MOST despicable and pathological act/thing and human can do. Goes to show you they are NOT human.
By the way I was one of the dads who spoke to this reporter and he was looking for more dads for his investigations. That how I got in touch with him from multiple sources. And there was never a mention of gender from those sources…
The reporter said they were having a hard time getting women to come forward at first. Could it be from the misinformation that mother’s stories were not needed? I heard that the editor had to change the contract information because a surtin group was contacting them angry and late at night. Everyone should have the opportunity to speak out to address the problems in family court..
Did Frank contact dirubba ex wife?
As long as the powers-that-be allow this website and all other websites like it to be online, FR and other websites like it can:
inform the public about what’s happening in family courts
provide a platform for discussion about family courts
share facts and opinions
find support
build character (learning to handle criticism)
etc.
The public needs to know what’s happening in family courts. Mainstream news doesn’t report it. The Attorney General’s office ignores the corruption.
People need to see what kind of people are allowed to force children and families to live certain ways.
Most have no idea how children and families are destroyed in family courts. Robson … Zanard … so many quacks are so unqualified and somehow: state legislators haven’t known or haven’t cared. Maybe a few are happy to see so much harm done to families. Strong families and smart children are bad for Communism.
Look at the books in public school libraries. The same thing has been happening in public schools.
FR should check his facts.
Oh? Which facts?
After 6 kids the rest should slide out nicely.
🤔
She is a NARC through and through. Sounds like a generational pattern, unresolved childhood issues surfacing in her adult years. The Ex Hubby was the victim, the punching bag. Never happy,never satisfied with whats in front of them. Sad timeframe for the children enmeshed in her trauma reenactment. The children are the parents in this case and she needs that validation from her kids. The children hopefully will shake out and realize what has happened to them…trauma bond.
Daddy DiRubba was a whale; he got picked clean by Court vultures … enriching pathetic members of the bar, racketeering is palpable, sinister element of state government pronounced. Thieves all, profiting from human destruction.
The courts are not responsible for the demise of the family. The system doesn’t lead to any peaceful resolve. Just a profitable one for the attornys. The morality of society has definitely decaded. Our court system has decaded along with it. The merry go round of judges in Connecticut signing off on cases they really know nothing about. I think the judges know that the attorneys are dishonest. They continue to allow it. Don’t know the Dubric family. I know the court system. We absolutely need an investigation into family court. Out side the state agencies and government. They have proven to be part of the problem not the solution. We don’t need more laws for the courts not to follow. We need disbarment, license revoked and judges off the bench.
Truth
Covert alienation – Author Unknown
I found this to be the very best description of how covert alienation operates – especially with an 8 to 14-year-old. This is exactly what happened in my case similar case’s different people. This is why the alienator can say they never said anything bad… and sadly for all the lies about abuse and such… The Child is left holding the bag.
Steps to Forming the Alliance
The cross-generational coalition with the child is not created by directly bad- mouthing the other parent. It is a much subtler and more manipulative process.
• Creation of the Victimization Role: Central to creating the child’s rejection of the targeted parent is allied parent convincing the child that the child is supposedly being “victimized” by the allegedly “bad parenting” of the other parent.
• Eliciting a Criticism from the Child: The false narrative of the child’s supposed “victimization” is created by first eliciting from the child a criticism of the other parent through motivated and directive questioning from the allied parent.
• Inflaming the Criticism: Once a criticism of the other parent has been elicited from the child, the allied parent then responds to this elicited criticism with exaggerated and inflammatory displays of distress and alarm, thereby distorting the normal-range parenting of the other parent into apparent indications of the child’s supposed “victimization” by the “bad parenting” of the other parent.
• Hiding Behind the Child: The child quickly learns the routine of offering criticisms of the targeted parent, after which the allied parent can then hide behind the child’s elicited criticisms with the refrain of: “It’s not me, I’m just listening to the child.” To all external appearances, it’s not the allied parent who is criticizing the other parent, it’s the child who appears to be criticizing the other parent. But this show is all a subtly constructed manipulation of the child by the allied and supposedly “favored” parents.
According to information from Florida. As of April 2022. The fatherhood initiative is at least a 70 million dollar project across the country. The fatherhood initiative is a program that not only effects low income. Often promoted to help men keep their families together and promote responsible fathers.. It’s become so much more. There is a lot of mention to co-parenting and father’s not living with the children. Could this possibly be the reason for the promotion and apparent forcing cases in to parental alienation? There is a huge financial insensitive to promote father’s even when they are a clear and present danger. Promotion of motherhood and safety for at risk children are not a money maker. Reported problems tracking funding and duplicate services. The labeling of women as birthing person. Birth mother. I think an important question is what is happening with parenting programs. They all appear to focused on father’s. Legal discrimination against mothers? The reason for the alienation industry? The courts relentlessly leading to loss of custody for abused women. I would love to see how much money the state of Connecticut is receiving. What they are funding with it. If women/mother’s are so dangerous according to the alienation industry where is the motherhood initiative? This is beyond the court house.
It goes both ways… Why is there no need for evidence clear proof when a woman claims DV but men do? LIGHT BULB! because there is no money to be made in amicable divorces, so sprinkle in false DV , fabricated evidence, hearsay shit, coach and groom the children, parentify the children, be their best friend not thier parent, slowly poison the children with fabricated stories, act as the victim (the real abuser) in from of the children, cut off one parent from communication from kids (usually Dad,the man) delay, run the meter (both attorneys know what is going on and are doing, and if you do have a good one , unfortunately they really can’t speak up because its professional suicide. And then layer it with a corrupt unethical attorney who embellishes the case leading to financial and custody issues for one of the parents…and guess which parent?
I believe this does happen in some men in a limited amount of times. It was once a larger issues. Lately false claims of parental alienation happen far more often. What we all can agree on is demanding an investigation. The withholding of evidence from attorneys to continue to force fruitless reunification therapy. Because they don’t address problematic parenting leading to estrangement. Narrasist don’t often change. I do agree some parents use children as weapons. It’s called narrsatic family dynamic.THERE ARE A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF DADS currently doing this. With false alligations of parental alienation. Claiming they are a victim. I hope one day we can stop the gender war. Focus on the systems the unethical financial extortion. We can make a real change. Until the players in the game are held accountable. Financial insentive to discriminate are eliminated. “All father’s to be engaged in the lives of their children”. Creating funding for the state. There is no mention of addressing abuse. There is absolutely no focus on being a responsible father in these cases. Being used to eliminate mother’s from their children’s lives. A majority of women are devastated when the father’s of their children use them as an excuse to drag them to court. Reentlessly harassment of emails from attorneys for nonsense to rack up legal bills. Daddy drama is real! Using family court for attention they get from the system claiming parental alienation. The courts are a narrasist play ground. The judges and the system encourage, condone and allow it. Cruel and inhumane treatment. Because it is profitable. Inflicting emotional/psychological distress and financial harm. Coursive control through false claims of alienation. Women and children are being abused and dying for funding and profit in Connecticut. Me calling the system out on it is not to harm legitimate father’s fighting to be engaged in their childrens lives. We need a real change in the family courts.
Correct with your statements BUT coercive control through false claims of DV leads to a plethora of scenario extracting a parent ( majority of the time the dads) including a Parent Child Alienation Why ? Because when you utilize false DV, it gives that parent a large advantage in Family Court, financially and in custody and what does that spell… more money!
yes, the corrupt unethical slimeass attorneys get their hooks into finances and assets and the judge don’t bat an eye, why? Because they are chosen by their peers and nifty contributions to the judges fund.
There are plenty of false DV false allegations parental alienation issues, but alienation rarely occurs when there’s a false narrative. And yes, it does occur to both men and women, but the history, the statistics and the data show clearly it happens more often to men.
Frank report. Is allowing the mother and children to still be abused by this monster. Who looks like dulos and acts like him
“judges fund”?
Annamarie is a hottie. I can imagine sue had a hot time.
Anonymous 2:19-
She’s smoking! Hubby has to pay for the [redacted]. Vag ain’t free.
I wonder if Frank will ask her for an interview. Also, I wonder if the sun will rise tomorrow.
The woman should always get the kids. If she don’t want the father to see the kids they shouldn’t see them.
What right does this father have when the mother knows best.
lol that so true ! our new Toxic FemininityMatriarchal age society must relegate/denigrate men to substandard slave status… only as sperm donors, ATM withdrawal apps, Men are of NO viable benefit to family & children upbringing, physically, mentally and emotionally…. to this extraordinary moral and ethical society that has been created…Please hold your applause.
Thank God women don’t actually need men anymore. Seriously, name one thing a man can give to a woman that she can’t get from a hospital or Amazon.
Another dumbass comment
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CrYshwNgLEv/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
You are an idiot for even writing that joking or not Dumbass
Stay Out of Chicago for your own Safety!
Chicago is now a Communist run city!
Chicago Has Fallen – Liz Wheeler
HUNTER BIDEN: IRS Whistleblower Claims Investigation Interference from the IRS
The IRS is spiking “killing” the Hunter Biden investigation.
‘Biden incorporated’ is ‘shielding’ Hunter from prosecution: Sen. Blackburn
SAY CLEAR OF ROCKET LAUNCHES!
There’s a Dr. Robert Horwitz and a Dr. Sidney Horowitz.
Autocorrect usually changes the first last name to the second last name — almost as quickly as each of those snakes-in-the-grass flip custody to the least qualified parent, for the most profit posss$$ible.
⬆️ State AG offices, legislators and local news outlets usually warn the public of danger. Did no one in those offices notice what a disaster the Dulos case was?
⬆️ Someone needs to tell the public, “Stay Clear of CT Family Court Until Investigations and Prosecutions are Done“.
⬆️ Like a cone over one of the state’s many potholes, that headline up there will save lives.
Thank you, FR.
The CT press sensationalized the Dulos case. Family court was rarely mentioned.
The GAL’s failure to protect the children was not found anywhere.
They were busy with the playbook- securing and “sealing” an evaluation that would question Jennifer’s mental state. Character assassination while abusing the children.
And CT courts have managed to delay the prosecution in this case. No Justice for Jennifer.
And Jennifer’s law is NOT implemented. It’s merely a public service fallacy. Another law the courts blatantly ignore.
So true.
FR is getting the word out to never enter family court. It’s the only way to stop the money streams
Once you go in, you cannot get out.
CT Family Court is run by Pedophiles.
She’s a fucking gold digging hussy. Dirubba should have put 6 babies up inside a more worthy vag. Why the hell did you put 6 babies into that cunt?
Here’s your answer…
“A stiff prick has no conscience, when you coming, you can hold up the world.”
Your daddy is a smart man.
Frank, you are going to allow comments like this? You have as much integrity as Paul Boyne.