Aya, a former disciple of the Swami Chetanananda, wrote I Love Swami Most – He Saved Me – But Practices Black Magic, Hurts Women.
In her article, she explained:
He went too far. He’s taken sacred vows and broken them for his own insatiable and cruel appetites. Used his gifts as curses.
It’s sad beyond belief. Do you know why it’s sad for me?
It’s sad because I love him. He saved my life. I love him more than most of the women I’m standing up for, but I don’t get to play rapist favorites.
I would love Swami Chetanananda to be the man I thought he was. To be in his presence is like the sun shining on you…. He was the Dad I hadn’t had since I was five years old.
Aya got a fair amount of criticism for her position, and this is her response, or, if you prefer, her clarification.
Calm down. I wasn’t “in love” with Swami Chetanananda. I said I “loved” him.
Not everyone is cut from the same cult cloth.
Thankfully, I’ve never been a viable candidate for that kind of programming, probably due to my early experience of being sexually abused in a religious setting.
I have my own relationship with God. I don’t worship humans as divine. That just never made sense to me.
My experience of the Swami was different from many others who have written about their relationship with him.
Probably the fact that I didn’t blindly worship him is what prevented me from getting hurt.
The Swami’s mug says ‘Do Your Fucking Practice.” But does that mean attractive women have to practice with him?
I have a ton of attitude and raised hell whenever those cunty cult lady games were presented to me, which was nonstop.
That’s the first test, you know. You have to be willing to submit to a certain amount of alpha-ing from Thing 1 and Thing 2.
I flunked at that.
Third would be my hard rule of “I don’t Fuck where I pray”.
I also can’t do “fake.”
The little kiss-kiss these intimate partners of the Swami do to each other’s faces while savaging each other in a more private company.
I stuck to the much sweeter and more spiritually authentic old timers at the ashram.
They were long removed from any competition for the Swami. Their only competition was their work ethic.
I left the group as soon as the Swami hurt one of the young-ins'” I cared about.
Hard door slam and padlocked. Boom.
When I first came there, I couldn’t discern facts from fiction about the Swami, because my source about his abuses came from a certain sex partner of his.
She foisted on me her ever-evolving stories from the day I stepped foot in there.
Now I know the truth because I’ve talked to people who don’t know each other. They have similar stories about the Swami’s abuse of his disciples.
That is how I put it all together.
It’s NOT “people like me” who enable the Swami to keep abusing students.
Unless you consider having unresolved trauma, needing somewhere to be and heal, and ending up in a viper pit based on trusting a best friend of 13 years and her faith in her guru to blame for this.
A lot was going on at the end, obviously with a move from Portland to Gold Beach, a move of significant proportions.
It sounds like most of the victims here started in the ashram as I did without perhaps being referred to there as I was by a long-time friend.
So is it the victims’ fault?
Was I grateful to him for a home, company, and food? Of course, I was.
That’s called manners.
Some people criticized me because I dared to say I loved him – for helping me during a hard time in my life.
Frankly, their nasty assumptions and snap judgments make it difficult for me to care about continuing to explain my position.
I don’t owe anyone anything, and I am free to love whoever I want and feel however I like about all this.
I’m not doing cartwheels in front of his house, pining over him, or considering some reconciliation.
No, it’s done.
Love remains on my end.
I’m not responsible for any more than that.
I don’t try to own it, but rather understand my experience there.
I don’t love someone because of what they “do.”
How some of you react to me expressing that I love the Swami makes me wonder what you consider the word “love” to mean.
The Swami has enough people on the Frank Report that hate him and want him to stop.
I would like to see more people who love him, who want him to stop.
Hatred will only lead to more hatred.