I Loved the Swami But Was Not ‘In-Love’; That’s What Saved Me the Most

I saw some of the documentary about R. Kelly, and I remember one woman who described horrific abuse said that yes, she does still love him. You can love someone while still insisting that they are held responsible for the wrong things they did.

Rudi, the gift that keeps on Giving

by Jayne Lyons
When my daughter sent me a confused text telling me she needed help, I went to Portland to be with her. During my two week stay at the Movement Center I felt like I had been transported to the Twilight Zone. It took a while for me to figure out that I was in the middle of a cult. The first thing I did was care for my daughter’s physical injuries with an emergency room visit, follow-up care and then some conversation to better understand what had been done to her.

It has taken me years to put those pieces of fraudulent recruiting, love bombing, grooming, labor exploitation and assault together to form a more complete picture of cultic abuse at the Movement Center run by J. Michael Shoemaker. I have been reading, listening to, and watching all that I can to educate myself about how cults operate. I have been calling on professionals with expertise in providing information and services for cult survivors to better understand the phenomenon of cults.

The SAFE group in Portland has been helpful to me; https://www.safeportland.org/ and also the International Cultic Studies Association, ICSA. https://www.icsahome.com/

Three books that I read early on are:
Dr. Steven Hassan’s books, including, Combating Cult Mind Control;
Dr. Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias, Take Back you Life;
Tahlia Newland, Fallout, Recovering from Abuse in Tibetan Buddhism;

I got help from Kent Burtner, Dr. Ken Garrett and Dr. Margaret Eichler in the Portland area. Thank you

I found there are many resources to help ex-members and their families to recover from cultic abuse.

Just this week, I listened to a recent episode of Rachel Bernstein’s podcast, Indoctrination. In the September 21, 2022, episode, Deer Tribe Medicine Society, a link to J. Michael Shoemaker’s “guru” comes up. Seems like Albert Rudolph, aka Swami Rudrananda “founded” a Rudra Center in Denton Texas. The narrator of the Indoctrination episode gives her experience of self-recruitment and “falling” into a cult and subsequent traumatization. Like Nxivm, like OSHO, and like what we are learning from those who have escaped from cults run by Rudi’s “devotees”, J. Michael Shoemaker aka Swami Chetanananda and Russell Kruckman, aka Swami Shankanaranda, this woman was also exploited. Seems like Albert Rudolph is the gift that keeps on giving, confusion, gaslighting, manipulation, exploitation and abuse are the outcomes. Stay safe out there and stay away from cults! Practice safe sects!

https://www.podpage.com/indoctrination/deer-tribe-medicine-society-wheidi-thompson/

Heidi Thompson was born into the Seventh-Day Adventist apocalyptic religion. She escaped at age 19 to attend college at the University of North Texas where she completed her Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees. While in graduate school, she learned about a spiritual organization called the Rudra Center for Enlightened Awareness. She began attending their sweat lodges, meditation, and shamanic psychology classes. She soon became part of the inner circle and was eventually introduced to its parent organization called the Deer Tribe Metis Medicine Society. After her recruitment into the Deer Tribe, Heidi became actively involved in their sacred sexuality workshops called ‘Quodoushka.’ Quodoushka claims to teach people that sex is “natural, sacred and beautiful.” Heidi was told these workshops would help her heal from sexual trauma. However, while attending these workshops, she was manipulated into doing many perverse and corrupt sexual activities she did not want to do. These experiences left her deeply traumatized.

https://dtmms.org/lodgesworldwide/

https://www.ntdaily.com/death-to-the-myths-the-truth-about-the-rudra-center-for-enlightened-awareness/

A brief and accurate history
Founded in 1971, the Rudra Center has also been known as the Kundalini Yoga Ashram, Inc., purposed as an organization that provides impactful spiritual experiences for individuals seeking to find a higher meaning and purpose. It is and has always been a nonprofit spiritual organization.

Among many other practices, a certain type of meditation, Rudra meditation, is the main practice of the center. “It’s the foundational practice here at the Ashram that we build everything else on.” tai chi and qigong instructor-in-training Ross DeOtte, 27, said. “It’s the knowledge that works and the practices that work. There’s no philosophy or dogmatic ancient text that we think is 100 percent correct — it’s all about practice and seeing results that are improving our lives and the lives of our relations.”

The center emerged out of the requests of a small group of spiritual seekers in Denton. They invited a man named Swami Rudrananda (Rudi) to visit Denton, after which he offered to set up a meditation group for them and established the Ashram in 1971. “Ashram” means a place to study spirituality. In order to house this school, Rudi placed a down-payment on a small, two-story Victorian house on Locust Street and then left, leaving the rest to be paid for by the students. However, after Rudi left for his home in Manhattan, New York, the students found themselves in dire need of a spiritual teacher in order to assist them in continuing the growth of the Ashram. Rudi therefore sent one of his leading disciples, Stuart Perrin, to fulfill this role.

“Rudi sent down Stuart to give the students discipline and structure, since it was in the ’70s and people practiced ‘spirituality’ by taking drugs,” artist Zack Mitchell, 27, said. “It needed to be a real practice instead of just a bunch of hippies doing yoga.” Rudi would continue to visit the Ashram in Denton once or twice a year until his passing in a plane crash in 1973 upstate New York. After Rudi’s passing, Stuart Perrin assumed head teacher at the Ashram until 1978 when he passed his role over to Robert Baker, more commonly known as Silver Ra, 70. Ra continues to extend his guidance and council at the Ashram today

“ I have a ton of attitude and raised hell whenever those cunty cult lady games were presented to me, which was nonstop.

That’s the first test, you know. You have to be willing to submit to a certain amount of alpha-ing from Thing 1 and Thing 2.”-

Love your description and happy you “flunked.”

Many express what sounds like hate but could be deep hurt and response to trauma. It seems you’re “further along” (not to compare) or simply took a different route to process your experience.

If you care enough for shoemaker to use love to bring him to halt his abusive ways, that’s great. Ultimately we’re here as individuals on a journey and it’s difficult to imagine shoemaker is truly pleased with his conduct.

He went off the rails long ago and no one in his inner circle loved him enough to confront him and address his conduct that shows his inner dysfunction and cruelty to others.