I Love Swami Most – He Saved Me – But Practices Black Magic, Hurts Women

A former Movement Center member wrote the following. 

By Aya 

I know this is a lot more than just kinky sex. I believe the dark depraved things Swami Chetanananda does to women are “offerings” and more ritualistic than your run-of-the-mill BDSM play.

The Aghoris (which he claims to be) go to extremes of eating garbage, having sex with corpses, drinking urine, drugs, and alcoholism. The nastier, the better; the more profane, the more enlightening.

Frank Report told of women who reported he makes people drink urine and engages in menstrual blood rituals—even sending women to be gang-raped by the dregs of humanity. This would fall into this “sacredly profane” category.

He was “offering” a beautiful female sacrifice for the demons.

Sexualizing Chod.

I would guess what we’ve heard is tame compared to the truth, because these women couldn’t bear to repeat it.

Choking and hanging women is common in darker tantra practices. Have you ever read Aleister Crowley’s voyage into Tantra?

Aleister Crowley wrote, “the bloody sacrifice, though more dangerous, is more efficacious; and for nearly all purposes human sacrifice is the best.”

Swami Chetanananda does indeed get in people’s heads.

A woman jumped off a bridge because she thought the greatest show of love and devotion she could give her guru was sacrificing her life for him.

No, I’m not buying “this is just kinky sex,” for a second.

I don’t think some women knew they were unknowingly participating in these rituals. I’m sure that’s why it was so traumatizing.

The proof is in the Ashram. It imploded after what happened to Natasha. He went too far. He’s taken sacred vows and broken them for his own insatiable and cruel appetites. Used his gifts as curses.

It’s sad beyond belief. Do you know why it’s sad for me?

It’s sad because I love him. He saved my life. I love him more than most of the women I’m standing up for, but I don’t get to play rapist favorites.

I would love him to be the man I thought he was. To be in his presence is like the sun shining on you. Scoff, if you will. He can shapeshift into whatever you need him to be. He was the Dad I hadn’t had since I was five years old.

I take no pleasure in this. It’s excruciating.

I don’t blame him solely. He’s been enabled terribly, and love is telling someone when they are being destructive and unacceptable.

His followers spoiled him.

It reminds me of when I worked at a radio station when I was young.

Layne Staley

Layne Staley from Alice In Chains would come in dope sick flanked by these hyenas I used to call The Star Fuckers.

They weren’t looking out for him, didn’t care that he was dying, in deep need of help. They propped him up, stuffed him with candy, and laughed maniacally at everything he said because he was “a star” and liked to be seen with him. He made them feel important and special.

When his star finally burned out, he was dead in his apartment for two weeks before anyone checked on him. I cried for days.

You’ve all used Swami Chetanananda in the same way. You let him become this by never loving him enough to tell him no. Take some responsibility for that.

People have worshiped him like a god since he was 19 . It has turned him into a monster. I believe he was hurt terribly before that.

He does have powers. He does have beauty. He does have incredible wisdom. To deny that would be a lie.

To say I don’t miss him is a lie.

You can love someone and still know they are fucked up and dangerous. Both can be true.

He’s sick, occupied by darkness, and spreading that dark sickness to people through the women he hurts and the devotees he’s trained as healing professionals.

No rape victim who sees any of those people will get healing from them, just a bunch of spiritual bypassing bullshit that will keep their clients sick.

“Consenting adults”

“There are no victims.”

“Surrender your tensions.”

This doesn’t even begin to touch the wholly hideous and irresponsible tantra craze that has swept the internet of a bunch of sick fuck people attempting to “heal people” with the same broken program that started in the 60s with him.

They are churning out mountains of fresh sexual assault survivors. This is a poisonous seed constantly blooming.

There is dark occultism at play in all this. It’s been before your faces the whole time.

So add spiritual abuse to your list because that’s the worst kind of rape.

As far as the statement that telling young women that sex with him will advance them spiritually:

INFORMED CONSENT. There is such a thing as Spiritually Transmitted Diseases.

He should have fully disclosed what he was opening them up for.

Women lose their minds from sex with him.

I have no anger for him. I do not expect him to “go to jail.” He’s already in jail. It’s just a gorgeous one. The laws of the earth aren’t coming for him.

I hope he gets right with his soul and is strong enough to fight the demon that possesses him to do such awful things. That he makes amends to those he’s shattered.

I hope that happens before he leaves this world, because I’m genuinely concerned about what awaits him.

Set us all free, Swamiji


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  • “INFORMED CONSENT. There is such a thing as Spiritually Transmitted Diseases.
    He should have fully disclosed what he was opening them up for.
    Women lose their minds from sex with him. I have no anger for him. I do not expect him to “go to jail.” He’s already in jail. It’s just a gorgeous one. The laws of the earth aren’t coming for him.”

    I believe fully you need help and reach out to family, outside friends, or organizations set up to help people wanting to leave a cult or have already left a one.

    Take care! Stay safe!

  • Reddit is also a fan of the Frank Report, who knew!


    Here are some highlights:
    This cult is REALLY bad.

    I am on a throw because I will be giving my name to the press eventually.

    I don’t want to share personal details at this time, please read all the Frank Report articles (guy who blew the whistle on NXIVM) and spread the word on it. I’ve lurked on this sub for years and it has given me healing that only real understanding can do.

    This its a cult based in Oregon, formerly housed near downtown Portland (yes.)

    If you hate hippie woo woo types this is their complete unmasking so its worth it especially to see them spinning trying to do damage control in the comments in that special culty way cults do.

    I’m still grappling with the shame of being a part of this place, and allowing myself to be abused and defrauded. …….

    Every article is worth it for the comments alone. Its got the cult members themselves saying desperate things and intimidate to try to hide this story. I can tell who they are by what and how they say, it actually “triggering” in the sense I get flashbacks of intense memories, even smells.

    And then there is this:

    Hopping on this old thread because this group of people has recently moved into a rural community on the southern coast of oregon.

    Using a throwaway account, because it’s a small community.

    They’ve been buying up property left and right around the town I live in… Like, a TON of property.

    After reading all the info in this thread, it has me genuinely worried. I don’t want any disgusting stuff like this to go on in the place that I call home.

    If they moved here thinking that they’d have an easier time staying out of the public eye with these acts, they’re surely going to regret their decision. Word spreads around this town at an incredible rate, everybody knows everybody. If he commits any serious crimes here, he will surely get caught up.

    It’s a little hillbilly town that frankly doesn’t appreciate the “hippy woo woo” types already… let alone portland sex cults.

    • Then it’s time to prove they are not functioning as a religious school any longer and shut them down

      A group of ten old-timers doing Zoom meditation in PDX hardly seems sufficient to keep a religious school of sorts in operation; and tax-exempt.

      I’m sure there is a lawyer in the herd who wants to read some fine print

  • Anonymous
    September 27, 2022 at 8:54 am
    Shadow reader and George McBlack are weirdos and write about irrelevant topics. Frank – do us all a favor and shut these assholes down. Their comments are unintelligible and have no bearing on the stories at hand

    Frank Parlato
    September 27, 2022 at 8:59 am
    They really are two fools.

    As foolish as the people who voted for senile pervert Joe Biden?
    ‘Weirdest and creepiest’ thing Joe Biden has said

  • Mr. McBlack is a racist. Racists are not welcome here. Get lost. The other person, Shadow reader is a disturbed individual. Get lost, both of you. You don’t belong here

  • Shadow reader and George McBlack are weirdos and write about irrelevant topics. Frank – do us all a favor and shut these assholes down. Their comments are unintelligible and have no bearing on the stories at hand

      • Mr. Parlato,

        Why all of the sudden disrespect and hostility towards me when I’ve been nothing but completely respectful to you?

        Why am I a “fool” and why are you just abruptly starting to insult me for no apparent reason other than to just be rude?!

        Is it because you’ve had no real intention of dealing straight with me this whole time?

        What is your issue Mr. Parlato?

        Why all of the random uncordial and ridiculously inappropriate mood swings?!

        • When two people – you and Patriot God – commit trolling, it’s sort of like you’re riding on a bus together. One can’t get off without the other. They’re stuck with each other and they have to go on…
          riding together clear to the end of the line.

          And the last stop is the insult cemetery.

    • Mr. Asshole!

      Please shut the fuck up and mind your own business!

      If you want to live in a country where people that aren’t socially acceptable in your eyes get censored, then go to China and be a communist piece of shit all you want!

      But in this country you have no say!

      So why don’t you do is all a favor and shut your own ass down!

      Thank you kindly!

  • In Response to Frank Report Comment:

    September 24, 2022 at 7:49 am
    Wouldn’t it be more appropriate, prior to readers judging Steve Ott’s / Swami K’s response, to be able to read the letter he’s replying _to_? Without that context it’s impossible to interpret how he intends the last sentence, which doesn’t make sense without knowing what he’s referring to as “the merit of the issues listed below”.

    I sent to the Swami Khecarantha Facebook page the testimony the Natacha posted on December 21, 2021.

    Here is the communication chain.

    Thank you for your quick response. As mentioned below, harm and abuse are being reported by Shoemaker that goes back to the early 1970’s. This is a serious pattern of hurt. In a cultic system, not everyone is aware of what happens within the “inner circle” of members, but many members do know. They are complicit bystanders to the abuse. In a survey conducted by the International Cultic Studies Association in 2000, 91% of the 34 ex-members agreed that “Nityananda Institute members who know about potentially damaging information feel compelled to protect Swami Chetanananda and the Nityananda Institute by remaining silent and/or lying about his abusive behavior.” I have attached the survey results

    If Swami Khecarantha or any of the members of your group are aware of harm or hurt that occurred at the Ashrams where Shoemaker was in attendance or the leader, this can be reported to Nathan Wollstein badge #39011, 503-545-3482, Portland Detective Force, Sex Crimes Unit.

    Thank you,
    From: Acharya Amrita Devi (Ellen Jefferds)
    Sent: Tuesday, April 19, 2022 1:27 PM
    To: xxxxx
    Subject: Re: Shoemaker

    I didn’t block you. Comments by anyone but our staff may not be generally visible to the public. Not totally sure how that works!

    But, as I said, Swami Khecarantha is no longer associated with Chetanananda and any discussion of his abuses is not directly relevant to our practice.

    On 4/19/2022 11:23:08 AM, wrote:
    Hello, I guess I am blocked on your page.

    The members of the Heart of Consciousness Facebook page, Ott’s group claim that they broke with Shoemaker 20 years ago. Reading the posts you will see the names of “devotees” who are still with Shoemaker. Connie Dyer, Susan Marshall, Jen Wihelm, as well as Chris Cartwright, Lisa Hoberg, Paul Uslen and Karen Kruger.

    Other Shoemaker-Ott cross overs from Ott’s FB page are:
    Swami Ganeshanda
    Charles Pollard
    Cassia Herman
    Linda Lack
    Paul Rosen
    Melinda Montague
    Michelle Valentino, who currently lives at Gold Beach
    Christopher O’Brian
    Scott Hanley
    Karla Refoxo
    Patrician Yinger, who is a IU grad
    Diane Sieg, IU grad
    Cynthia Beers, IU grad

  • “I don’t think you fall out of love” why? Trauma Bonding, Stockholm Syndrome: IV Drip of Poison in Your Veins this is the BDSM Rollarcoaster of Punishment and Reward, This is what traps the victims of J. Michael Shoemaker in his web of lies and harm, a time tested technique used by traumatizing narcissists at the center of most dangerous and damaging cults

    It’s been nearly 50 years since notorious cult leader Charles Manson and some of his devout followers shocked the world with a series of brutal murders, including that of “Valley of the Dolls” actress Sharon Tate, who was more than eight months pregnant at the time.

    And yet, despite knowing what he’d done, one of his followers, Lynette Fromme, said she’s still in love with Manson.

    “I don’t think you fall out of love,” she told ABC News. “I feel very honored to have met him, and I know how that sounds to people who think he’s the epitome of evil.”

    Taken from an article written in 2019 https://abcnews.go.com/amp/US/manson-follower-murders-loves-dont-fall-love/story?id=62708850

    For years, Keith Raniere won glowing endorsements from the Hollywood actresses, millionaires and Ivy League graduates who studied his teachings during self-help classes offered by his company Nxivm.
    Most of them have now distanced themselves from Mr. Raniere after he was convicted and sentenced to 120 years in prison for using Nxivm (pronounced NEX-ee-um) to commit sex trafficking and other crimes.
    Among other things, a jury found that women in Nxivm were recruited under false pretenses to join a secret sorority that Mr. Raniere formed, where they were branded with his initials near their pelvises, groomed to be his sexual partners and kept in line with blackmail.

    Still, despite trial evidence that Mr. Raniere possessed child pornography, manipulated his followers by keeping them starved and sleep-deprived and committed a long list of federal crimes, a handful of these recruits insist that Mr. Raniere changed the world for good. And now, they are unleashing a public campaign to undermine his conviction.

    Taken from an article publishes in 2020: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/10/nyregion/keith-raniere-nxivm.html

    Those who have never been in an abusive relationship struggle to understand how people remain in one for so long. If somebody was mistreating you, “why did you stick around?” they ask.

    For survivors, this can be a really tough question to answer. The lucky ones escape, and stumble upon articles or books that give them the terms to be able to understand what happened to them, and thus describe their experience. Other times, though, this doesn’t happen, and people might not even be aware they were in a relationship that was so toxic.

    An IV drip of poison entering your veins

    We are conditioned to believe abuse is always physical. On TV and in films, we see characters who are obviously evil. They are violent to their partners, shout at them aggressively, or even murder them in a fit of rage. While this does happen in real life, it’s not a true representation of the abuse many others experience.

    According to therapist Shannon Thomas, author of “Healing from Hidden Abuse,” psychological abuse is insidious, and it occurs a over time like an IV drip of poison entering your veins.

    It starts with an off-hand comment here, or an insult there, but often victims brush these moments off. This is because abusive people are great at pretending to be everything you’re looking for in a partner, and they love bomb you with affection. Victims tend to believe this is the abuser’s real self, and when the mask starts to slip more and more, they believe its “out of character” and it must be their own fault for making their partner angry.

    People stay in these relationships partly because they are trying to win back the abuser’s affection. However, Thomas told Business Insider that victims also become biologically attached to their abusers through something called “trauma bonding.”

    It’s like an addictive drug.

    The signs of trauma bonding include explaining away the abusive behavior, becoming isolated from family and friends, and agreeing with the reasons you are treated badly — “It’s my fault they are so angry.”

    It’s a bit like becoming addicted to a drug. A psychologically abusive relationship is a rollercoaster, with punishment and then intermittent reinforcement of kindness when you “behave.” This means the body is going through its own turmoil, with high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, paired with dopamine when given affection as a reward.

    Taken from: https://www.businessinsider.com/trauma-bonding-explains-why-people-often-stay-in-abusive-relationships-2017-8

    Psychologists who have studied the syndrome believe that the bond is initially created when a captor threatens a captive’s life, deliberates, and then chooses not to kill the captive. The captive’s relief at the removal of the death threat is transposed into feelings of gratitude toward the captor for giving him or her life. As the Stockholm bank robbery incident proves, it takes only a few days for this bond to cement, proving that, early on, the victim’s desire to survive trumps the urge to hate the person who created the situation.

    The survival instinct is at the heart of the Stockholm syndrome. Victims live in enforced dependence and interpret rare or small acts of kindness in the midst of horrible conditions as good treatment. They often become hypervigilant to the needs and demands of their captors, making psychological links between the captors’ happiness and their own. Indeed, the syndrome is marked not only by a positive bond between captive and captor but also by a negative attitude on behalf of the captive toward authorities who threaten the captor-captive relationship. The negative attitude is especially powerful when the hostage is of no use to the captors except as leverage against a third party, as has often been the case with political hostages.


    Please speak to the authorities about what was done to you, what you saw or what you did to others. If you are involved in harming others, ask for immunity and bring to light the harm, abuse and damage that has been done. It is time for this abuse to end.

    • Calm down. I wasn’t “in love” with him. Not everyone here is cut from the same cult cloth. Thankfully I’ve never been a viable candidate for that kind of programming probably due to MY very early experience of being sexually abused in a religious setting. I have my own thing with God and I don’t worship humans as that. That just never made sense to me. I had a different connection with him then much of what is posted. Probably the fact I didn’t blindly worship him is what prevented me from getting hurt. I have a ton of attitude and raised hell whenever those cunty cult lady games were presented to me which was non stop. That’s the first test you know. You have to be willing to submit to a certain amount of alpha-ing from Thing 1 and Thing 2. I flunked hard at that. Third would be a hard rule of “I don’t F where I pray”. I also can’t do “fake”, the little kiss kiss these women do to each other’s faces while savaging each other in more private company. Yuck. I stuck to the much sweeter and more spiritually authentic old timers that were long removed from any kind of competition with anything but their own work ethic. I left the group as soon as one of the “youngins” I cared about was hurt. Hard door slam and padlocked. Boom. Couldn’t discern the facts from fiction with Jessica Becker and her ever evolving stories in my ear from the second I stepped foot in there. Now I know because I’ve talked to other people who don’t know each other and have the same stories and only now could I piece it all together. No, to the other post on here… it’s NOT “people like me” who keep this shit going unless you consider having unresolved trauma, needing somewhere to be and heal and ending up on a viper pit based on trusting a best friend of 13 years and her faith in her guru to blame for this. There was a lot going on at the end obviously with a move of that proportion happening. Sounds like most of the victims here started off like that sans maybe the friend. So is it the victims fault then? Was I grateful to him for a home, company and food? Of course I was. That’s called manners. Watch who you are talking to. I don’t see anyone else here who was actually treated well by him and many of the other people you have accusations against standing up for any of you and frankly your nasty little assumptions and snap judgements are making it difficult for me to care about continuing to do so. I don’t owe you shit and I am free to love whomever I want and feel however I want to about all of this. Im not doing cartwheels in front of his house, pining over him, or ever considering some kind of reconciliation. No, it’s done. Love remains on my end, I’m not responsible for any more than that. I don’t try to own but only understand your experience there… kindly step the F off mine. Im really nice until Im pushed to a point where I am not and we are about there. I don’t love someone because of what they “do”. That is not love, that is a transaction. I know what love is. The way some of you react to me expressing that on here makes me wonder what you consider that word to mean. He has enough people on here that hate him and want him to stop. I would like to see more people that love him that want the same. The hate will only beget more hate.

  • Frank hasn’t updated the comments in 48 hours.

    At this point, it’s a flex.


    Right on, Il Franko!

    Alanzo (:>

  • Biden Creeps Out More Kids at White House: ‘Everybody Under 15, Come Here…’
    Groper-in-Chief Joe Biden had another creepy gaffe around wary children at a White House event Monday honoring the Atlanta Braves for winning the 2021 World Series.

    As he handed out custom jerseys, Biden beckoned “everyone under 15 [years old]” to “come here” for handshakes and a photo op, taking a special interest in a young boy who he motioned to sit on his lap.
    Biden appeared especially pleased when the young boy obliged and turned around for a quick photo.
    The awkward scene follows another eyebrow-raising gesture from Biden last week, in which he appeared to imply he’d had a relationship with an adolescent girl when he was 30 years old.

    “We go back a long way. She was 12, I was 30, but anyway,” he said as some of the audience laughed.

    “This woman helped me get a lot done, but anyway,” he added.

    It’s more of the same for creepy old Joe, whose staff has evidently not informed being around children is not a good look.

    • I am not sure how this comment relates to the story, but I recall hearing stories about how Swami beckoned teen girls towards him and wanted them to do more than sit upon his lap like he was Santa Claus.

      • Mr. Parlato,

        I’m here to inquire about Mr. Patriot God’s articles, once again.

        Last time I discussed this with you, you said that you were “reviewing them”

        That was over a month ago.

        Have you finished reviewing them, yet?

        When do you think that they will be published so I can get my interview about them to you around the same time?

        • Perhaps it’s just as well that Patriot God can’t write. I have been reading for the past sixty years, and I can’t see as how anyone would want to read what Patriot God has written.

          Run along now and look at the comments as you please.

  • “A woman jumped off a bridge because she thought the greatest show of love and devotion she could give her guru was sacrificing her life for him…”
    Oh is THAT why she tried to kill herself? You spoke with her?

    “I have no anger for him. I do not expect him to go to jail.”
    But you didn’t end up in a hospital or psych ward.

    So just let him continue, huh?
    Too bad for the others, huh?
    His followers made him this way, huh?

    To me the most disgusting thing is the fact that no one has the courage to intervene.

      • Many of us have tried to take him down. MANY. But never United. Never as a group. This is our opportunity to bring down the roof over his head!

    • I’m sure i wouldn’t know about that. I left immediately after someone I knew and loved was hurt. All else I was made aware of previously was rumor at the time and mostly from a both damaged and untruthful person. I don’t know the person who ended up in the psych ward or hospital. I am kind of curious what made her stay after watching his last dakini that she knew and lived with jump of a bridge and almost die watched her terrible recovery, departure and later public admission about what happened to her. Let me guess, she fully believed that Natasha was a nut nut until it happened to her too. Seems to be how this group rolls. I don’t. I guess we will never know. From what I understand that woman signed an NDA.

  • Edward Snowden granted Russian citizenship via decree from Putin
    Edward Snowden was granted Russian citizenship via a decree from President Vladimir Putin, according to Russian media.

    The U.S.-born dissident was granted Russian citizenship in a sudden decree on Monday, though he’s been residing in the country since 2013, several state media outlets reported. He sought and was temporarily granted asylum in the country after blowing the whistle on the National Security Agency’s use of mass surveillance. After several renewals, in October 2020 he was granted permanent residency in the country, according to U.S. News.

    • This is interesting Shadow, but I am a little unclear how it relates to Swami Chetanananda. What Snowden did, it seems, was an act of heroism. I could be wrong. I am hardly an expert on Snowden, but people reading about Chetanananda I think are here to comment and read comments about him, not Snowden.

      Would you prefer to write a column on Snowden?

  • Daniel Glavin, Ruth Graham, Jessica Becker, Natasha, Eva all of these people have one thing in common: they were horribly mistreated. Swami Chetanananda has no idea how to effectively share his spiritual gifts with people in a way that doesn’t end in total disaster. Got that Sadhvi? This guy is living in his own world. One, where he is at the center of it (true narcissism), and he can never be wrong. No capacity (or desire), to learn from his past mistakes. Nothing changes. Nor will it ever change. Another sad story about a powerful spiritual teacher, whom has been corrupted by their power, and, ultimately their own ego. Got all this Sadhvi?

  • I was a member of the Swami’s group for a many years. I didn’t exactly leave. It is more like I drifted away. Reading all of the articles leaves me confused and dismayed, because I don’t like to think of myself as naive, but I had no idea about drugs or strange sexual activity. It isn’t the swami I knew. i don’t reject that what some are saying is true. I can only say that in the many years i participated, I saw no clue of those things.

    Granted, i was not in the inner circle, and that I sometimes saw the swami as grouchy, but my experience of him was different. I did see that he liked women — and they liked him. And I observed that he acted like a school-boy in love, which would make me roll my eyes (oh brother). But my personal long-time experience is that he was always kind to me. I was sick and needed treatment and he gave me money out of his own pocket to pay for it. He did this for many people. Whenever someone had an emergency of any sort, he was there to help out with support, money, prayers and compassion.

    I still have gratitude for this man who has helped me in so many ways, and because I cannot relate, but do accept that others have had a different experience, I hope that can heal and move on to have a good life.

    • Your comment represents exactly how this went on for decades without being exposed. People like you who are content with what they see in front of them as being “reality” and even when confronted with the truth, somehow manages to keep their Pollyanna attitude to everything — oh well, I never saw anything.

      Well, I’d like to say, what you experienced wasn’t real. It was just a bunch of busy-ness that camouflaged his real agenda. A veil that you still seem to think represents some sort of reality.

      That’s very nice he gave you money. He was generous in the extreme. However, it wasn’t “out of his own pocket.” It was income from donations, rent, and retreats that, yes he taught, but dozens of residents worked their asses off to put on. They did not get paid. People worked and still paid rent and tuition. That income paid for his “generosity” it did not come from his own pocket at all. In fact, Sharon was always having a conniption behind the scenes trying to stop him from giving away their profits. If you ask her (she’d never be honest anyway) she’d say it was another aspect of his undeveloped adolescent persona. And it drove her nuts. And Howard and Theresa also.

      “I hope that can heal and move on to have a good life.” – Sorry, you seem like a nice person, but you really just have no fucking clue, do you? There is no healing from this. There is making do with what’s left and trying to rebuild the shattered life that’s left.

      • I had a girl friend (not in the ashram) who told me Shoemaker repeatedly tried to seduce her by buying her expensive lingerie and gifts.
        Whose money do you think he was spending on that?
        Then there was me… making $8 for a 70 hour week of work at the Tao.
        Mikey has always been without conscience or integrity.

    • Dear Anon. My view is that many people like you are a part of the carefully constructed illusion. You were not at risk of his advances so he used you, like many others, with his false compassion (a narcissist doesn’t have empathy or compassion) then later, when the shit hit the fan, you’d come out the woodwork and say he did many honourable things and you don’t relate or didn’t bare witness to what the others are saying.

  • I never met a ‘follower’ of A. Crowley who wasn’t dope-sick, deluded and hoping that by adopting his ‘otherworldly stare’ they could harness some of his creepy ‘power’.
    I’ve never met a ‘follower’ of Crowley in gainful employment or, not supported by a rich and feckless family/patron
    I’ve never met a ‘follower’ of Crowley who wasn’t alienated from said family and an incel (male or female)
    That picture of him will always be hilarious to me – never fails.
    I’m so glad I never ‘got’ his brand of spiritual enlightenment and instead just inherited the mirth.

  • I have zero sympathy for this monster and his inner circle. They’ve used their training, power and influence to create a facade. Sharon Ward is as sick as they come.

    They are all complicit in the abuse of the most vulnerable in the ashram. They use their medical and legal licenses to form insidious alliances used to protect the abusers and discredit and further harm their victims.

      • I don’t think that was the first “holy man” that got his hands on him.

        Born, raised and schooled in the Catholic Church.

        Nuff said.

        His sick started well before Rudi.

  • Interesting perspective and thank you for providing so much information. It seems like many psychopaths, he has his wisdom, his charms, and a way to spot and exploit the vulnerabilities in others.

    Your writing made the complexities of relationships with him clear. If someone did not have the charisma that most psychopaths do, Michael never would have lasted for decades in this position of ultimate power, surrounded by educated devotees/criminals who will serve and protect him.

    He’s a spiritual predator. He needs to be in prison.

  • I don’t pity Michael. He was enabled by selfish people who were and are still covering up his bad deeds for their own spiritual purposes. I don’t pity them either. They all deserve life in prison. What awaits them when they die will be only know to themselves.

    When it comes to the “magick” or the spiritual powers I have to say it just doesn’t matter. The only way forward is to take responsibility for the roles that you played so that you can continue to grow as a person. Michael doesn’t have special power over anyone. He isn’t in control. He couldn’t control power if he had it. Look at him. He is utterly lost and living in chaos, fear, lies, and extremes from one end of the spectrum to the next.

    There is no such thing as spiritual power and I’ll leave a quote from Milarepa who explains it perfectly:

    “As a result of my meditation I have achieved total awakening wherein the object meditated upon, the action of meditating, and the subject who mediates merge into one, so that now I no longer know how to meditate .”

    • Thank you, Dan. I’m so sick of reading all this abba cadabba shit. I don’t care that people believe it or if blame it for all the problems. I have no pity for this criminal or his enablers. People can choose where they let their minds go. Unfortunately his victims never had that option. They were lured in under false pretenses.
      Of course that doesn’t include Jessica Becker.
      What a massive waste of lives.
      Here’s an individual actually revered by his victims in a total disconnect from reality.
      That someone has to be “saved” by Mike Shoemaker is just pathetic utter bullshit.

    • “There is no such thing as spiritual power”.

      I can’t take too seriously quotes by one supposed human who believes they have this shit show we call life all figured out, furthermore people who think said shit show could all be wrapped up in a quote box.

      No one has this figured out. That’s what brought us to TMC to begin with.

      Glad it works for you to believe that? Milarepa became a black sorcerer at the command of his Mother, she wanted revenge upon the people who wronged them when his Father died. He took many lives with the dark practices he was taught.

      Do you think the families of the people he murdered gave a shit about his enlightenment? What would it take for you to apply the same blanket pardon to SC and his crimes? You have compassion and clearly reverence for Milarepa who lived thousands of years ago and you believe existed because you read it somewhere.

      Why is everyone here so pick-n-choosy about who is an asshole and who is not based on their own single experience with that person? The victims do it tons (it’s fucking annoying) and then whine about how no one believes THEM, get feral when questioned about what they endured but then they sit here and demean or challenge other peoples experiences of another character in this story because “that person that was good to them”.

      I like so and so and so and so but not so and so and so and so. WHAT? Oh, don’t you dare say so so and so was a such and such. THEY are this and this. Fucking exhausting keeping up with some of these “victim rules”. “ I only support you if we were harmed by the same person.”

      I’m totally onboard with this supposed former revenge mad murdering black witch turned master because I like his writing but I have no empathy for this dude.

      How do you personally know Mirarepa stopped murdering people? Maybe he just developed a following of insipid glassy eyed devotees that hid his crimes because they were getting so much out of his teaching and rewrote him for their own spiritual sake and ego back in a day women didn’t have the benefit of The Frank Report.

      SC has some epic nuggets of wisdom too. Someone could come across his writings thousands of years from now, without again the benefit of The Frank Report and turn him into the holiest and most enlightened of saints and BAM a new cult is born.

      So what did this former murderer and practitioner of black magic do besides write that quote to impress you so?

      I’m asking because I’m surprised after all of this insanity you are still looking for the meaning of life in the works of long dead men that you can’t prove even existed but simultaneously use it as hard proof that spiritual power does not.

      How did he redeem his myself after all that murder and destruction? Asking for a friend. Call me a hopeless romantic but I still actually DO believe in redemption.


      • That’s quite the respone. Not sure how to respond. I think you may misunderstand what I’m saying.

        I read milarepas book on his life a couple times in the past. I read it because it’s a story of a man doing bad things that ultimately finds himself in the end. The motivation behind my reading it is because I’m a recovering acholohic/addict and milarepa is an archetype.

        I don’t believe milarepa was a real person. It’s a story. In pagan religions stories and symbols are used to help people relate and understand the land we live on and the cycle of life and death. At least that’s my understanding and my opinion.

        I think where you may have missed what I’m saying is where you said “I can’t take too seriously quotes by one supposed human who believes they have this shit show we call life all figured out”. Yeah… that’s kind of the point of the quote. The whole idea is there isn’t anything that needs to be figured out. Milarepa spent his whole life doing bad things, trying to become powerful, trying to gain spiritual wisdom by any means necessary, just to find out that he had the answer all along which was in himself. It’s the idea that you are already enlightened, you don’t have to “do” anything besides remember.

        Of course Micahel Shoemaker has nuggets of wisdom and knowledge. If there wasn’t some truth to the ashram and spiritual path he practiced it wouldn’t have attracted so many people in the first place. Same goes with Keith Rainere. Hitler was time magazines man of the year in 1938. He was a smart man, and still an evil man.

  • Thank you for sharing this perspective. I think your observations are common among those who have left the community and show the complexity of how these things have come to be the way they are today.

    Whether one has faith in the criminal justice system in this country or not – I think anyone with any awareness of the harm being perpetuated by Michael and his enablers can agree that our goal is for the abuse to come to an end.

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” In addition, he was credited in the Starz docuseries 'Seduced' for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premieres on May 22, 2022.

IMDb — Frank Parlato


Contact Frank with tips or for help.
Phone / Text: (305) 783-7083
Email: frankparlato@gmail.com