“When I was staying at her [Nancy Salzman’s] house, I forgot something there and went to get it. Upon arrival, I went to take off my shoes and noticed Keith Raniere’s shoes at the inside door.
“I thought, ‘be quiet’ as to not interfere with their meeting.
“I went upstairs and Nancy’s bedroom door was shut. OMG, went through my head. Odd noises came from her room. All I could think of is ‘Get what you came for and get the hell out of here before you’re noticed.’
“I was as quiet as I could be and luckily the driveway was in the front of the house and so was the bedroom I was staying in. Nancy’s bedroom was in the back of the house.
“It was hard to look her in the face the next time I saw her. She acted as if nothing was different so I figured she didn’t know I had been there. Both were consenting adults and I had been in ESP for about nine months. It was right before the first Vanguard weekend at Crystal Lake.”
Oh, Susan, my respect for you has taken a hit. I’m sorry that so many things bad happened to you and you lost so much. You didn’t deserve it. However, this admission that you knew Keith Raniere was sleeping with Nancy Salzman, or suspected it and did not investigate, makes you an accomplice of your own demise.
These were the two highest-ranking people in the organization, fucking each other. It’s something you should have investigated. Maybe you did and you were lied to again but did not mention it. I’d apologize if that were the case.
But it’s clear, one of the most prominent lies told was that Keith Raniere was the world’s most ethical man and that he was celibate. You allowed this lie to persist.
Other people’s lives were destroyed because you allowed this lie to go on, possibly telling people of this lie yourself to recruit them.
I read a comment you made to Ivy Nevares to the effect that each of you must confront your own culpability. Perhaps you have done this already. So I’d like to know from you now if you read this, how do you feel about your role in perpetuating this lie? I would imagine that you struggle with knowing this and that you could have spoken up and stopped all the suffering you have gone through. Perhaps they would have done the same thing to you anyway. But at least you wouldn’t have had a personal role in the recruitment of others. I wonder if you have apologized to them. SMH.
It was also pretty obvious he was romantically involved with several women in the community. That was not very well hidden, it just wasn’t talked about. I did ask Nancy about it. She blew me off.
During the time I was involved, there were no signs of manipulation.
It wasn’t until the NXIVM 9 met right before we officially resigned, that is when Barbara Bouchey shared her story of how she was set up to believe she was Raniere’s only girlfriend. How she couldn’t talk to anyone about it except to the other women sleeping with Raniere.
It was then I realized it was the same set-up I had been approached about with Nancy Salzman. I was told that I would not be able to talk about a sexual relationship with her to anyone if it was to happen either. I was not going to sleep with her.
I have dealt with the karma of my involvement with NXIVM.
I left when I found out how bad things really were. I spoke out and I saved as many as I could. I was sued, and I never have stopped working to expose them, no matter what it costs me.
I’ve spoken to the press and TV film crews, worked with the authorities, and have spoken at each sentencing [Raniere and Clare Bronfman]. I also spent years in therapy healing myself.
Most people have hidden under a rock so their Google search doesn’t say NXIVM next to their name.
Judge me if you need, I’m good with what I have done on my journey.
Dear Susan Dones,
You are a shero!
Is it correct to judge people without having proof? Is it correct to judge the sexual life of two adults over 21 years of age who agreed? Is a person who takes some courses responsible for what other people who directed the courses did? My answer to all three questions is no
[…] probably in 2003, Susan Dones, who was then operating the first satellite Nxivm center in Tacoma, came to Albany for a training […]
I just came up with a new original joke/insult….
“Your so fat, before you take a shit you have to search for your asshole”
I don’t expect it to be posted.
You could have at least fixed the typo your to you’re. 🙂
After reading this article, you should go read the new one about “dirtying him up” by Suneel. The same game applies in my opinion. This article is more about dirtying up their reputation and it doesn’t help anything. Be open-minded. There is more here than meets the eye!
Yes read the data not the media hate. What is Keith was a woman or a Jew? There would be no hate.
Susan, I recall you describing this scenario circa 2010 but can’t remember if it was before or after Nancy tried to seduce you for blackmail purposes.
How do you know Nancy and Keith didn’t discover or fear that you’d become aware of their sexual relationship while living at Nancy’s house?
At some point, didn’t they have all their offices and sex dens under surveillance?
Why do we give Susan attention for things she claimed were done to her?
Oh, I dunno…Maybe for the same reason we give attention to the things that Keith claims were done to him…
You dopes are the ones “making an issue” out of this “innocent” encounter between two business partners.
(…One who esteemed his bed partner to be a maternal figure for his cult – on par with his own deceased mother – while claiming to be a celibate renunciate to many of his followers and, reportedly, other sex partners.)
This was not a trial issue. Susan, no one ever made a big deal about it. You Nixers are using it as a red herring to cry foul.
What’s more intriguing is the true underlying relationship between Keith and Nancy that Susan’s and other combined facts and anecdotes from eyewitnesses do reveal.
Hard as that may be for some of you to swallow.
Spot on.
Frank is giving both sides a chance to state their perspective. It’s an exercise in free speech.
Wise words. Also he touched so many women on those videos at volleyball etc it would be obvious to anyone he might well be in bed with loads of them.
I don’t see this as an issue at all. If Keith was or wasn’t having sex with consenting adults I don’t think is anyone business. I’m sorry you are a victim of your time in NXIVM, I don’t know your story at all Susan. However from the ‘victim’s ‘ I’ve seen of Raniere, I have so many questions and quite frankly I don’t think there lifes where so bad because of NXIVM specially India on seduced and Sarah (they’rethe ones I know more about) it’shard for me to find their victim hood . I hope you are well. And I’m sorry I guess I’m still very new to this whole story but the narrative is consistent there’s people who call themselves victims and when you look back almost nothing happened to them. I’m still investigating on Camila who says she was a minor when first having sex with Keith. I don’t know more about it but if anything that could be a victim of Keith. Everyone else I see as adults not proud of their choices.
If you are so new to the story why so quick on the hard judgments? Isn’t that what Raniere followers want for Keith? No media-driven rush to judgment? You watch a couple of TV shows and you got all the answers? The case was decided in court, not on HBO or Starz.
Has anyone else been imagining smelly keith and nancy having sex after susan’s story?
I have 🙁
It’s probably less gross than Bangkok and his neighbor’s dog.
Think you may be alone on this one, Mexican Lady. But I’m curious – when you keep imagining this, are you in the picture?
Mr. NutJob,
Quite inquisitive sir…Sounds to me like ‘someone’ else harbors their own “imagining” and “picture” in their head.
Perhaps, south of the border down in-Mexico?
I’m only a man!!! If Frank has dibs on Shivani and you called Michelle, I call Mexican Lady.
And after we learned Nancy served Keith her egg dishes each morning after a full night of his incubus escapades.
I imagine a similar stench to this:
https://nypost.com/2021/01/18/gwyneth-paltrows-vagina-candle-ignites-in-uk-home-report/
Shadow uses those candles for his unholy- menorah.
How can we know, if the relationships were mutually consensual, accepted of their own free will. If they were, it seems irrelevant to me, whether he slept with Nancy, or with someone else. On the other hand, this debate is very important in our current society, for example, in universities, teachers who, taking advantage of their status and relationship of authority, sleep with female students are classified as harassers, and even accused of sexual violence.
I think that people choose how they want to live their life. It is an everyday choice to be stuck in the past, live in the present, or think that life is about imagining the future. In my opinion, I am glad that Susan Dones started living the present more and more. I think a victim mentality could really affect enjoying a person’s present life. Wish her all the best!
That’s great advice for Keith and his coddling acolytes. There are no victims, Vanguard! Do not choose to be a victim. Accept responsibility for your many crimes. Live in the present. Settle into prison.
I’m not sure how consensual sex between adults who lead an organization is a crime or something to be investigated.
Who said it was? But if you don’t find this newsworthy, it’s odd you feel strongly enough to post this opinion.
Anonymous 8:01pm:
—consensual sex between adults
…In the absence of collateral (i.e. blackmail material), I completely agree with you.
But blackmail is a crime. What do you not understand?
I honestly do not understand your point of view or logic. I’m not insulting you. I am being honest.
Is this Roman Polanski, Woody Allen,
or Kobe Bryant’s ghost?
A great pianist and so much more, Oscar Levant, said this.
“There’s a fine line between genius and madness, and I have erased that line.”
I admire Susan Dones, maybe even more so for what she doesn’t say than for what she decides to say.
Try to imagine finding out, that something which initially seemed to be full of expansiveness and positive endeavors, “good” for you and possibly for recommending to others, starts to turn sour.
You start to feel uncomfortable, and maybe doubt yourself, because the leaders of this “progressive” movement can’t be wrong, or boy, have you been suckered, huh? They are supposed to be the stars.
And by the time these doubts were accumulating, already you have gotten involved pretty much hook, line and sinker. The environment is designed to keep you that way, predatorily playing upon your hopes, foibles and dreams.
The one-day boss-lady of the entire movement goes sexually overboard at you like a succubus.
You notice that bossman is screwing lotsa gals, etc. Eventually, you notice that he’s also still screwing boss-lady. The one who went overboard to get your sexual attention, whom you don’t wanna have any sexual relationshit with at all or ever, doggone it. Hell to the no?
Yup. And you better shut up and like it, right? You must understand and accept the big denials about the Sex Circus.
It is a private sanctification. These motherfuckers are advanced beings, ya know. Spend all of your money here too while you’re at it
Be like the dead Pam Cafritz and supply bossman with a pre-teen. Doggie walker.
Suddenly, the genius fades to nonexistence. This is a shipwreck of false captains and fools. Face to face with insanity. False advertising. Niw the bastards want to destroy you because finally, you left the herd. What a fucking Noah’s ark it was. Hindsight stings at times.
Some submerge. Some swim, and better than they ever even dreamed that they could or would swim.
Thanks for mentioning Oscar Levant.
–Often a shaky drug addict, Oscar was asked by Jack Paar what he does for exercise, he replied, “I stumble, then fall into a coma.”
–“Strip away the false tinsel from Hollywood, and you find the real tinsel inside.”
–One of his autobiographies was called, “The Memoirs of an Amnesiac”
Shivani-
Your style of writing is off-putting for some people….
……However…..
……. I enjoy always enjoy when I do read it and you make great points in a poetic, analogize and “esoteric” way. ‘Esoteric’ because I believe only a few people get it.
Your writing style in my opinion is the essayist version of Ray Bradbury. The best comparison being his book Something Wicked This Way Comes (novel), which I read a number of years ago.
Poetic/artistic/whimsical verse sometimes makes the best reading.
Thank you for writing this latest comment.
Have a great day!
😉
This reads like the rantings of a serial killer.
I feel no reason to judge you, or find fault with your journey, but I do have a qustion:
Have you mover behind the, “The Source is tainted, but the Tech is good” phase?
That usually takes quite a while.
Be Well, Stay Well.
Susan—
As I always post….
You are a class act from start to finish.
I wish you well!!!!!
…didn’t you say Kristin Kook left Nx in 2009, when we now know she left in 2012 or years later?
Was that just a mistake…or are you covering something up?
Susan never said Kristin Kreuk left in 2009. This is another mistaken assumption by people based on an interview she gave back in 2018. But she never gave a date for Kreuk leaving.
Susan Dones, as quoted in Hollywood Life, said “Yes Kristin Kreuk and Allison Mack were members of Nxivm. Kristin recruited Allison. But Kristin left shortly after I left in 2009. She got out before it became really bizarre and wasn’t involved with anything sexual.”
So, what does “shortly after” mean?
Oh Great! Kristen Kreuk’s lunatic stalker will be back at any minute with a boatload of crazy.
Why are you so obsessed with the date when Kristin left? Do you have any proof of wrongdoing by her?
If so, present your facts or shit the hell up about it.
The date isn’t what is really important is it, Obsessed One? It’s really was she involved with any behavior like Allison Mack or not.
Glad you clarified Susan, I wrote a apology statement earlier on the original post. My comments were based on incomplete info. I’m also glad I wrote this so you were able to refute and get the facts straight, I’m sure other people thought the same as I did.
What continues to amaze me is all off the women of NXIVM who act shocked by Raniere’s pedophilia even after the Albany Times – Union published thestory of Rhiannon in 2012.
Here is a song to help the dense women of NXIVM to remember the name of one of Raniere’s first child victims.
Rhiannon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruLCUg4at2Q
Shadow-
THANKS FOR RUINING A GREAT SONG! Whenever I will hear it in the future I wil think of that poor 15 year-old girl.
Here is a good song for you:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8L6KGuTr9TI
https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ALeKk03woF5OpcUekVePcsFzBul7W0rsYA:1610930016096&q=Judy+Collins+Send+in+the+Clowns&stick=H4sIAAAAAAAAAIWUPWzTQBTH44iW1A1S4zJUGcBEDKVLYseJHQZaqQIBaoXUhoHJ1GefHft8_jjXXwgJMRYmBthRBwY2mEDqgMRAhw4MLKgMDCAWYGCAqbSF2sfETf75vXvv_z50tbFWvW22haBn9wQxd8QG8bDJr2neesQD5CWYbDP_ePxF0uklrkv8EsPUj3vbzIkDFKDY78tu1y3NkYpVtzCreiansFvGBmHPMkuUB1BJjry1vAPcsDOgbvuqaikFR7nSNxGlJY6DQKOkgTwNSySwo_hFLgvLua9TwmXg44I1JZYzSVJLaZLg5wrdlBzDEjUtTawSdcEcJCWGKJeongQBMNOjTHY3kEKSSZQZipJG6QyhnpdWZNmFDtLp9zC0qJJxmtjgKDToOm4c2zY1O0Rgv6jZJhoeqJjSGdliSjUsthShtKZuJpKiQTKKwphE1HDy2LSKsoCIo9DyAdVA1w4SalZSbBMqVwAduUQ_HjioHE5qOTjBZWwH6gGC1PA0QXZ0aq3cRKeC-4IgRlRqZQAodP2uLFJbk2mQ2ikXuib6yLyuTk59-flhuvmy-uDpm3fM8yo7teR5xEDZioHWIkMfetxZdvwijkZRxjXZerPWdtsdgUA0W2mybEHcfYadXDWiobfs6SOYcbe5W-zEsuFqRkiuQW7IsoseQgaIRh7mLrGt5qk2KH60QwN4oT7CpgrQOon27-yH59n_-LROrhwKkEIE_3zJEozOV2eZliOqL94-3Bm_0djc3dt79nlpoXlujmOPXyFLHlhDDXn3h7rz69v83DRbG66lHvbcrFE5PN_nW2cmNu7N3Nnof51vXN6s3Hz_6MLCzBjPzFaFT9crla26vDBXubv15NX4sRozVak_Hjt9dV3P-IMKR5jwqwbW-RHmI8vgFw_fnd_f6KEPmwQAAA&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwixx_f6naTuAhUVElkFHZZzAaAQri4wKHoECA0QSA
I’m good with what (I’ve read) you’ve done on your journey as well. I think you are an exemplary human, Susan. Based on what I know, I see that you are brave, intelligent, tough as nails, and principled. I applaud you and love reading your insights in all of your posts.
Chris Shelton is a former Scientologist who puts out very interesting videos about leaving cults and critical thinking.
For anyone who is struggling with the aftermath of NXIVM, this short video is worthwhile:
Good recommendation.
NXIVM is pretty much a repack of Scientology’s lower levels, known as Grades 1-5, so Chris’s videos are definitely worth watching for anyone who wants to break free of the NXIVM mind mess.