.All quotes from Toni Natalie’s book, The Program: Inside The Mind Of Keith Raniere And The Rise And Fall Of NXIVM, are printed in bold italics. That’s because I don’t want anyone to think I wrote any of that tripe.
Putting aside, for now, all the unsubstantiated statements, hyperbolic claims, and outright lies that permeate the book – and, trust me, there are plenty of them – the one thing that stands out most clearly is that Toni thinks she’s really pretty.
Sometimes she tries to subtly drop in that thought when she’s describing some aspect of her interactions with various other people.
Other times she just slams it home with all the force of an NFL defensive lineman smashing an opposing quarterback into the turf.
The Valerie Bertinelli Reference
Toni starts off describing her beauty by quoting Kristin Keeffe’s reaction when she first saw Toni talking to Keith in the CBI offices.
“Keith, is Valerie Bertinelli working here now?” is, according to Toni, how Kristin Keeffe responded.
“Keith seemed not to understand the reference, but I did, and I smiled at the compliment” is how Toni describes the encounter.
But for some reason, Kristin has no recollection whatsoever of that exchange.
Hmmm…That’s a bit odd, isn’t it?
I mean how many Valerie Bertinelli references does one make in life?
“You have lovely eyes”
Next comes the oft-repeated story of how Keith cured Toni’s smoking habit via a 2-hour-and-45-minute one-on-one therapy session during that same visit to the CBI offices (Spoiler Alert! – Toni’s then-husband, Rusty DiCook, says she was alone with Keith for less than 30 minutes).
As Keith was holding her hands and “…rubbing his meaty thumb into the contours of my palm, surveying my life line, my love line, my fate line… He gazed deep into my eyes, and I met his gaze—his bright blues burning into my greens. ‘You have lovely eyes’, he said matter-of-factly”.
[And “Yes”, dear Frank Report readers, I did laugh out loud when I read what shall forever be known as “the meaty thumb passage”].
As Toni went on to explain, that was the day she established “a primal connection with Keith”. Or as she put it, that was the day he “claimed” her.
“It’s good that you work hard and that you’re pretty”
The next vignette where Toni’s beauty just happens to pop up in the story is when she is recounting her interaction with Mr. Harris, one of her high school teachers.
Although she had failed a class taught by Mr. Harris in her freshman year, Toni re-enrolled in the same class during her sophomore year.
But, alas, two weeks into the first marking period, Mr. Harris asked her why she was taking the class again.
When she told him she liked him and was interested in the subject, “He smiled and patted me paternally on the hand. ‘It’s good that you work hard’, he said, with a note of finality in his voice, ‘and that you’re pretty’.”
She goes on to explain that it was because of Mr. Harris’ comment that she decided to drop out of high school and go to beauty school.
Or as she put it, “What he was saying, it seemed to me, was that I had no business in a classroom. My purpose on this earth was to work hard and be pretty”.
[Seriously, I am not making that up. That’s a direct quote.]
“My purpose on this earth was to work hard and be pretty”.
“You’re a beautiful woman, thirty-two years old. Why isn’t he making love to you?”
Our next encounter with Toni’s beauty takes place when she and Keith are having one of their daily intimate conversations after she and Rusty had returned home to Rochester.
During these conversations, Keith taught Toni about economics, literature, philosophy, science, theology, and the occult (Wow – Kind of like online courses before there was an internet!).
He also asked her endless questions about various aspects of her life: her childhood, her parents, her failed marriages, and her years of allegedly being sexually abused as a child.
When Toni confided in him that she and Rusty hadn’t made love for more than three years [a claim that Rusty vociferously asserts is untrue], Keith’s response was: “You’re a beautiful woman, thirty-two years old. Why isn’t he making love to you?”
Toni didn’t respond to Keith’s question.
But, as she says, “I did note, with some pride, that he had called me beautiful”.
“In stark contrast to my own beauty”
Up until now, all of Toni’s assertions about her beauty did not involve comparisons to anyone else.
Her beauty was absolute rather than comparative.
But that all changed when she left her husband and her five-year-old son and returned to Albany by herself for some special training with Keith.
One night when he was visiting her in her Best Western hotel room, they got into a discussion about the nature of Keith’s relationship with Karen, one of the three women that he lived with at 3 Flintlock Lane.
As Keith explained that he and Karen were not a couple – and that he didn’t find her at all attractive – Toni concluded that he was telling the truth.
Or, as she put it “This assessment was true. Karen was far and away the plainest woman in Keith’s orbit. And the way he phrased it, combined with the twinkle in his eye, seemed to suggest that Karen’s unattractiveness was in stark contrast to my own beauty”.
Toni Is Pretty Again
From Toni’s book:
George Weiss was a partner of Keith Raniere’s and he wanted Toni to run one of their companies…
The new business was a line of skin-care products, aligned with … CBI….. The brand name was new agey and mysterious: Awaken.
[Weiss said] “With your background in cosmetology, your experience owning a day spa, your tireless work ethic, your easy way with people, and, let’s face it, your look”—he used this as an excuse to ogle me head to toe —”you are the perfect face for Awaken.”
The base salary was generous… I would not have to worry about a steady revenue stream… there was no question that I would take the job.
It’s good that you work hard, and that you’re pretty. Once again, my greatest assets were paying off.
Once again, Toni is telling her readers that she is pretty and, as a matter of fact, it is, to her, her greatest asset.
Toni Says Keith’s Modules were Based on Her as a Beauty
Toni writes, in her book: Later, after I left Keith, I learned that one of the modules was directly based on my leaving him. The ‘Fall” module presents Lucifer in the guise of a beautiful woman who has rejected the teachings of Vanguard… In the “Fall” module, Vanguard teaches that Toni Natalie is the first suppressive and the ultimate Luciferian. All ESP students knew me by name.
Toni is the beautiful woman who rejected the teachings of Vanguard.
And even after she left Raniere, the Nxivm teachers [proctors] were required to call her pretty.
Toni writes, To hundreds of NXIVM students, I was Lucifer, the suppressive—the one he wrote the “Fall” module about. In the classroom, in the module called “Persistency,” the proctor would say, “Who is the pretty brunette with a green scarf?” and then explain, “That is Toni Natalie. We don’t talk about her. She is the suppressive that broke Vanguard’s heart.”
The story may be pure bullshit. There is no one I spoke to who heard a proctor describe Toni as the suppressive that broke Vanguard’s heart.
But the point is made by Toni again – she is the beautiful woman who left Keith; the pretty woman in the green scarf.
Keith Couldn’t Take His Eyes Off of Toni Throughout the Trial
The other thing that Toni makes clear in the book is that when Keith Raniere wasn’t scribbling notes to his attorneys on Post-It pads, he was looking at her throughout the trial.
Even on those days when he wasn’t wearing any glasses – which insiders have said he needs to see anything beyond 10-15 feet – he was looking at her.
And, per Toni’s recounting, the fact that she was sitting more than 100 feet away from him posed no problem whatsoever.
According to Toni, Raniere didn’t look at any of his co-defendants on the first day they were all in court together.
“Not Prefect and her daughter, not the bookkeeper, not the heiress and her fancy celebrity lawyer—not even the television actress, one of his lovers du jour, whose capacity for sadism may well match his own. They are all invisible to him, as if they have already withered away to nothing. Instead he looks at me”.
I guess Keith must still be enthralled with Toni’s beauty.
Enough For Now
I think you get the picture.
Toni Natalie believes that she is beautiful – and that her role in life is to work hard and be pretty.
Given that she hasn’t worked at a regular job in many years, some might question whether she has given up on the working hard part.
But there is no doubt that Toni still considers herself to be very pretty.
Catherine Oxenberg and Toni Natalie
Here is a song – from the 1957 Musical West Side Story that kind of sums up Toni’s view of herself.
I Feel Pretty
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn’t me tonight.
I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It’s alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I’m real.
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
I feel stunning
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I’m loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
[…] Toni Natalie Is Really, Really, Really Pretty – Just Ask Her […]
K.R. Clavinger, a snippet of one of your marvelous lines,
“One night when he was visiting her in her Best Western hotel room…,”
Had me in stitches out on the patio.
That tidbit kind of says it all.
Parked like a sorry ass in a Best Western while her new boyfriend lives with 3 of his real and more significant other wimmens, all of whom are shrunken and seemed to have stopped menstruating. How appetizing. The OGs are supposed to go trawling for his teenage selections, and Toni doesn’t have any cute little girls? How uncool is that for such a stark raving bee-you-tee? All this is getting too sexy, as Toni sits on her thumb and rotates four or five nights out of seven! While Meaty Thumb dawdles and splits his time, doing his gosh darndest to share the abuse. Gawd how erotic.
But why stop there, when this laydee promoted herself to such altitudes of self-help? She found her way dauntlessly and left her husband and their little boy for a meaty thumbful of cum, a fat-faced, 5’8″ woodchuck with a hairdo like a backup singer from Herman’s Hermits? Getting it on, bébé. She was experiment #35 amongst Keithie-Weethie’s second-stringer mature gals. Toni joined a troop of spitting camels who never wore deodorant and had to rent her own condo, all for love of the great Flabturb, her Vanguard, ya know.
But this is not about the meaty thumb. This is all about, could it be, it is! All about “miss piggy’s CONTOURS.” As the two specimens stroked each other’s cloven hooves and grunted gutturally in mutual self-admiration until the thrill was gone. I dunno who wrote Toni’s novelette for her, but she might find new autobiographical life writing porn and making imitation gangsta gestures in front of multiple prisons. Strike a pose.
It wasn’t fair to make fun of a myopic orangutan’s hairdo without offering a similar review of Natalie’s hairdressing skillz, while taking in her profile photo above, where she gazes at her harem master like an epicurean raptor.
For hers is the exact same coiffure that I used see while gazing down from balconies into the pre-dawn streets of Mumbai. That was when the immense city rats, condiderably larger than fatass American housecats, would be getting ready to go to bed for the day. These gigantic rats all wore their head fur exactly like Toni’s in her profile shot, with unruly, casualsprigs of hairiness matted down the sides of their faces, for a youthful look.. It was fascinating how vigorous and sporty they looked, but they bullied each other and were uncouth. From Toni to woodchucks, to camels,to piggies,to myopic orangutans, to raptors, to rats and we must have at least one old goat before we get back, as is adamantly required by Toni, to Toni.
Another tiny indignity, like a finale, a Tchaikovsky death scene starring Toni, of course, with stage settings and notes she needs to memorize before dress rehearsal. She has to stop being too flummoxed. Toni must learn how to respond to semi-blindness more on cue.
Acute myopia has a way of looking outward into a miasma of vagueness. Yet very often that nearsighted way of looking appears to someone looking into its gaze to be quite hypnotically focused upon him or her. It can be terribly enticing. But alas. Myopics are more likely to be just kind of staring, not bothering to try using their elongated eye muscles to contract or to focus, ’cause they won’t. Those kind of eyes can be almost unseeing but can look omnipresent. Happy Halloween though, Toni. It was all you, all of the time. Perhaps try to settle the fuck down now. Everybody got the naked telegram.
Even though Toni might’ve been peeing with eagerness while in the courtroom and doing the old “look at me” jiggle and eyelash batting/ hair-tossing like a nanny goat in heat, what was the point? Raniere, her ex, her dimestore conboy, her bisexual Albany std and HPV Rasputin, probably just saw a batch of fuzzy people. Afrodite Natalie is no spring chicken, either. She ought to know that he prefers to unzip younger veal coulottes, not to work up a sweat tugging off some old lady’s underpants.
Hey, maybe that’s how come Natalie co-wrote her spiritually-advanced memoir, as a way of gracefully accepting her passage into the resurrection of Deep Throat, the new age dowager queen of of overstocked and expired cosmetics, hard work and Best Western hotel booty, um, bee-you-tee.
You’re a mean one
You really are a heel
You’re as cuddly as a cactus
You’re as charming as an eel
Misses. Grinch, you’re a bad banana
(Misses. Grinch), with the greasy black peel
You’re a vile one
You got termites in your smile
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile (Misses. Grinch)
You’re a foul one
Friends, you don’t have none
I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!
You’re a monster
Your heart’s an empty hole
You’re a goner
You got garlic in your soul
You got garlic in your soul
All them smiles, homie
I turn to frowns
All them decorations
I tear ’em down
You can ask Max, I don’t play around
Who is this mean fellow
With his skin all green and his teeth all yellow? (eww)
What you so mad for?
Halloween come around and we ain’t knockin’ at your door, mane
Misses. Grinch you’re a bad banana
You’re gonna spoil everybody with your bad attitude
Who is this mean fellow
With his skin all green and his teeth all yellow?
What you so mad for?
Halloween come around and we ain’t knockin’ at your door
I’ve read the book. Credibility of an author of a memoir is important, but I’m not an investigative reporter. I am, however, a writing professional. So, here’s my brief takeaway of it as a book: it’s okay.
The style is, generally, quite good for a memoir by a non-author. The quality of some of the techniques and a few rather erudite references make me think that perhaps this is were we really see Chet’s influence. Sometimes, in fact, a reference pulled me out of the text because I wasn’t sure a high school drop-out would know them. As with many memoirs that are collaboratively written, the use of first person versus Toni Natalie isn’t as consistent as it should be.
My biggest problem with the text though is that it doesn’t deliver what it promises, in my opinion. It’s called _The Program_. The back blurb refers to Toni as Patient Zero. Toni states at the beginning of the book that the experiments Nancy and Keith did on her were the foundation of ESP curriculum. But, very little of that experimentation is detailed.
The stuff about her life and interactions with Keith, Nancy, other members of the inner circle are interesting. But, there are several portions of the book that aren’t really telling her story at all since she was no longer involved (summarizing the suicides, mental breakdowns, etc.). Perhaps a rundown of an intro ESP course would be relevant if she explained how it evolved from the her own earlier manipulation and false therapy, but that relationship isn’t established.
In other words, it’s like a huge portion of relevant experiences and memories, the parts that would’ve been unique, that she claims were precursors to how and what NXIVM taught to mess people up so badly are skipped over. Much of the book then becomes almost a synopsis of a period of NXIVM in general and its enemies before returning to the more personal story. The personal is where the interest lies and where the book could’ve added some insight. The other stuff has been much more thoroughly covered for years here on this blog. So, it feels like a missed opportunity.
She may be pretty on outside by ugly within. She left her soul mate
Raniere thought that Natalie was pretty – it was pretty cool she couldn’t get pregnant, so he could f*ck her all the time and not have to pay for the dozens of abortions other women had.
I’ll bet Natalie’s plastic surgery and botox bills are pretty, pretty expensive.
I find her average looking, at best. And she’s butt-ugly when you consider her character.
I find it funny that Toni criticizes Raniere for making false statements about the level of his intelligence while making similarly false statements about the level of her beauty. The two of them really do belong together,
Besides this ridiculous countersuit with Vanguard against First Principles (Delaware LLC), we get it. Ms. Natalie is another Raniere boob. We get it.
It is kind of weird how the Raniere men don’t often get the harsh treatment here. The men in the SOP. Michelle Salzman’s husband. The rest of those enabling creeps.
Society of Protectors, indeed.
Not surprising at all if you know anything about the creature running this site.
Men don’t gossip like women do.
What, this blog is full of men who do just that?
No, it’s mostly women and wimpy guys, which I consider more like women than men.
You are a wimpy guy……..
You look like you were raised by Vegans.
No offense. I watched your Amway Energy Drink video on YouTube.
Have you ever lifted weights in your entire adult life?
The wimpy guy is the one who won’t come on my radio show, and that would be YOU. LOL
As I’ve said repeatedly, that isn’t me. If you would like to lift weights with me sometime, let me know, but you’re probably too scared because I lift the maximum amount the machines allow for most of them, two sets of 12 reps. LOL
Scott that is you in the video. It is the same individual as on your “radio” show. The voices are exactly the same moron.
No, you cowardly dork. The voices are not the same. You’re stupid, deaf, or both. LOL
Can I have your permission to turn your image into a “meme”?
If it’s not you, you shouldn’t have any qualms about releasing it .
“The Program: Inside The Deluded Mind Of A Woman In Denial”.
It is characteristic of Toni Natalie, or whatever other name she’s using, that she has such a distorted self-image of her own beauty. If you look at the high school yearbook photo or the other photos from Natalie’s younger years published in Frank Report, you see only an average person, at best. I can’t see anything of beauty. And neither does it have any charisma. Who would have paid Natalie these false compliments that have nothing to do with reality? And why does she always say she is beautiful?
Those who are beautiful or exceptionally beautiful don’t have to emphasize or say it. You can see it. And everyone sees it who is not blind.
I was in ESP when The Fall was written, it was never about Ton Natalie there had been other issues that had come up within the company and most people never knew who Toni Natalie was unless they were in CBI before, which I wasn’t.
It is true, people ask who the person in the green sash was. It was never said “Oh that pretty woman broke Keith’s heart”, that’s Toni Natalie.
What a lair Natalie is. I like her to come forward and say her told her that!
I asked Nancy Salzman who the woman in the green sash in the video was. I did because there was no one outside of Albany that was that high ranking at the time and I found it odd this person was not around.
I never said who’s that pretty girl/woman. Nancy never referred to her as pretty nor did she say Toni broke Keith’s heart. Most people didn’t want to talk about Toni and would shut the conversation down if you asked questions about her.
I finally got Nancy to tell me woman name Toni and she had been a part of Keith’s business CBI. Nancy also said that Toni had stolen 80,000 that Nancy had loaned her to build National Health Network and she skipped town and never paid Nancy back. Because of she had stolen Nancy’s money, no one wanted anything to do with her because Toni was not a honorable person.
After I left ESP/NXIVM I first thought Nancy lied about Toni but with things I experienced personally with Toni and what I have found out through others. I think Nancy, Keith and Toni are wolves that turned on each other.
I glad to not have anything to do with any of them. It my opinion they all deserved each other. They have spent years trying to destroy each other, shit on each other – why do you think Toni spent so much time on NXIVM’s website?
All of them to this day will take advantage of anyone who will let them take them for a ride. Toni wants to play the victim card but her true colors have come out now publicity and she cannot hide the wolf in sheep clothing. Don’t be fooled. That is why Toni doesn’t have long time friends who will have a lot to do with her. She can’t hide who she really is.
OMG, another amazing story about a VERY stupid woman who thinks because Keith Rainier AKA the CHILD MOLESTER, SALVE OWNER, CULT LEADER, CON ARTIST told her she was PRETTY so he could fuck her brains out that means somehow she is SPECIAL.
No one needs to lie about their life to inflate who they are, lies are hard to keep track of.
What an idiot. Inside the mind of Toni Natalie and the rise and fall of who the public thought she was is what happened with her book.
Hope it was worth every penny your making Toni Natalie.
Beauty is only skin deep but when you have a nasty personality it doesn’t matter.
You might of been pretty once but I agree your lies have been showing up on your face and now your looking like the witch you have always been inside. An ugly witch with a dark soul
Beauty is skin deep but ugly goes to the bone.
Er, Toni, about Keith’s exceptional lovemaking skills that were giving and generous…
Now, what you told me in 2010 on record if you’ll kindly recall was that Keith was a “lazy slug” who’d “lay back with his hands tucked behind his head” and you’d have to lick and pinch and suckle on his nipples…” like “he wanted to be the woman and have you rape and seduce him” though he sometimes dozed off..
Remember you told me how “annoying” that was and now you know why he was spent and couldn’t get it up without all that fat boy titty play was bc he was raping little girls like Rhianon and teen groupies playing video games all night in the warehouse…”
Well-cast as you are as the Luciferian snake, you might want to check in with Keith’s own lawyer, Marc Agnifilo, about Keith’s “Paradise Lost” references to Sex like it was in the Garden of Eden from whence his Luciferian delusions sprang whilst he was giving love lessons to my Mormon little sister if you didn’t just snipe that from Gina’s story like you did her chart you failed to pass on to the FBI as promised you insipid, cut throat cunt!
Stay tuned FR readers to find out more about how Toni snared those naked pictures of Pam and Keith during their ménage a tois and learn where those collateral ideas just might have originated…
Vanity thy name is Toni Natalie, the prettiest snake in the pit. F’in Medusa’s nightmare.
Delutional women. “Me”. “ME”! “MEEE”! “MMEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!”
“What he was saying, it seemed to me, was that I had no business in a classroom. My purpose on this earth was to work hard and be pretty”.
Feminists often say this kinda thing. Pretend to be the shit while also being oppressed.
Most feminists are butt-ugly.
Natalie is not a feminist, she is a con-woman and grifter.
A feminist would have had the smarts to not fuck Raniere and fall for his con game.
Brains or beauty. I’d take butt ugly and be safe from Raniere’s penis any day.
Guess you like the stupid pretty girls Scott so you can get a little action. Maybe you just make your wife wear a bag.
Natalie can be whatever is convenient at the moment.
Feminists are stupid, they take themselves down from the pedestal. You have to be stupid to do that.
Raniere f*cked plenty of butt-ugly women.
I like all girls, unless they’re like you, pretty stupid. LOL
You already noted that ‘Mr. Harris’ was not listed in the yearbook from 1975 —- thus he was not likely a real teacher at that school during her senior year.
But just for giggles (and proving another lie of hers) —– why not actually verify, with the school itself, if Mr. Harris taught during her sophmore year (1973) and was teaching whatever course Toni claims?
Then you’d be able to ‘confirm’ either:
a) He’s was a real teacher there
b) She’s a fucken liar about that whole incident 🙂
OMG…What a narcissistic bitch Toni is. Thank your lucky stars she ditched you, Rusty, and don’t ever let her back into your life again.
I don’t think that Rusty needs to be reminded not to let Natalie back into his life again.
Toni might have been somewhat attractive in her younger days but she has a harsh and bitter look about her now. I see lots of women like Toni out in bars these days – and they’re almost always with a gaggle of similarly unhappy looking women. There’s a reason women like her always end up all by themselves.
As always, thanks for the update!
So Toni Natalie, in addition to being a narcissist, is completely delusional… …Today, Toni looks like a transgendered Muammar Qaddafi and Toni’s plastic surgeon should be shot.
I am kind of surprised Krclaviger that you purchased and have read Toni’s memoir……the things we do for journalism….
Personally, I would rather masturbate with a cheese grater than read Toni’s book. 😉
Have a great weekend!
🤣…Transgender Qaddafi…rotting pumpkin head scarecrow…pass the cheese grater!
“Personally, I would rather masturbate with a cheese grater”.
Sultan Of Six, AKA “The Spankster” has in all probability been there, done that and jizzed on the t-shirt.
I think I may know who her plastic surgeon was…
The guy in the photo actually looks like Ivanka Trump’s husband Jared Kushner….
A good article, Claviger.
You accurately captured the inner thought patterns of a woman who seems to see herself as Ms. USA material or Playboy Bunny material — when, in fact, she was always the same as the many other slutty Italians from Jersey or NY. lol.
Attractive, sure. But not ‘beauty pageant’ level attractive. Not ‘Playboy bunny’ level attractive.
Also, in her current photos (from 2018 or 2019), she looks horribly aged with terrible skin texture, almost as if she had botched plastic surgery.
I feel VERY sorry for ‘Chet’ or whoever her current boyfriend might be.
Cuz how can any man get ‘wood’ looking at the woman in those photos from 2018 and 2019?
Not even extra-strength Viagra would allow most men to get ‘wood’ when looking at those photos. 🙂
Except for Niceguy, I’m sure he could get major wood looking at Toni’s current photos. He’s a real pervert.
Actually the idea of tongue punching your mom’s fart box gives me major….
How would you like the idea of calling me Dad?
Thanks for confirming Bangkok’s claim that you’re a pervert.
Who cares????? Stay on important topics!!!!!
She may have been pretty years ago but looks like a drag queen now! Way too much work and fillers in her face.