Did Toni Natalie Have a Good Marriage or a Bad Marriage When She Left Husband #3 for Keith Raniere

Some people have mistakenly assumed I am angry with Toni Natalie and am out to harm her. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Toni and I were friends for a while – and I am still willing to be her friend, to be on her side – provided she tells the truth (I won’t even ask her to apologize for the blatant lies she told about me).  To the extent she deviates from the truth, that is the extent that I cannot support her endeavors.

She has written a book – and I am afraid she may have told some lies in it.

On top of that, based on what numerous sources tell me, I suspect she has told many lies about her relationship with Keith Raniere over the years.

It is not an act of aggression against Toni to attempt to try to get to the truth.  It is important that the public know the truth.

A lot of effort has been put into exposing Nxivm and a lot of truths have been told. The very reason to continue to write about Raniere – now that he has been convicted – is not merely for people to make money from it – but to document what happened and make that knowledge available to others as a cautionary tale.

To help others not to make the same mistakes – with other cults and other psychopaths.

Since I had something to do with exposing a lot of truth about Raniere, I’m not inclined to sit back and let others lie about their roles.

I want Toni to make money, of course – provided she tells the truth.

And I am sensitive to distortions –  especially if these distortions hurt innocent people to enhance her story while making her look better. Those misrepresentations have to be exposed.

On the other hand, if she’s telling the truth, then she has nothing to worry about.

In the past, Toni was never been challenged to prove any of her stories. Her word was good enough.  But now that she has published a book – a book that should have possibly been better vetted – the time has come to see if her stories are true or not.

What I suspect happened with Toni is that, in trying to make Keith look like a villain, Toni may have exaggerated and actually lied – not only to make him look worse but to make herself look better – more of a victim and less of a fool – and to make her role in taking him down seem larger than it really was.

A number of her stories seem suspect and perhaps we will get to each of them in due course of time.

But one thing I found offensive in her book, The Program: Inside the Mind of Keith Raniere and the Rise and Fall of NXIVM, is that she takes great pains to insult her third husband, Rusty DeCook – denigrating him and comparing him to Keith.

I do not see the need to do this. After all, it does not advance her story. It was not necessary. He is not the villain. And most classy people who write memoirs do not insult people who are still living with unnecessary and gratuitous insults and demeaning remarks – even if they are true.

But Toni may have done far worse. She may have lied about Rusty just to make herself look better.

We have her kind of caught by her own past statements about Rusty and their marriage.

She says in her book it was a bad marriage, a loveless marriage. That he had not slept with her for three years.

This is different than what she told James Odato in 2012. 

Toni told Jim that she was in a good marriage when she first met Raniere.

As reported by Jim, “Toni Natalie was in a good marriage and was raising a young son when Raniere invited her to the Clifton Park headquarters of Consumers’ Buyline”

Even on her own website, she says she was in a good marriage. 

Here is how Toni tells her story on her website

Toni Natalie remembers the woman she was before Keith Raniere.

She had a home in Rochester with a solid husband — a good partner — and a newly adopted baby boy. She was still young, in her early 30s, surrounded by friends, and hopeful for her future. She couldn’t have conceived the trials that were in store for her.

Toni had heard the legends. Keith was one of the world’s top problem solvers. He had a 240 IQ, one of the highest ever recorded. He could speak in full sentences by the age of two, and by 4, he understood quantum physics. He was a judo champion, a ski instructor, a self-made millionaire, and could play seven instruments.

This was in 1991, and Consumers Buyline, the company he founded and that Toni worked with, was a fast-growing success…

Keith took an immediate interest in Toni. He helped her quit smoking. They spent hours on the phone together, talking about her marriage, her dreams, her work. Keith told her it was a way to heal, to relive her memories of childhood sexual assault over and over and over again. When he told her to leave her husband, she did. When he told her that they were fated to be together, she believed him. When she fled him, after eight years, he threatened her: “I will see you dead or in jail.”

[Actually, the child was not newly adopted but about three years old and had been adopted at birth.] 

So, on her website, she claims it was a good marriage, that she had a solid husband and a good partner, etc.

More than a decade earlier, in 2006, she also told her co-writer on her new book, Chet Hardin, in his Albany Metroland story, Stress in the Family that it was indeed a good marriage.

“Natalie and her husband were in their early 30s, living in Rochester, and had been married for about four years. They had a small, adopted boy and a nice home.

“’We were in love,” she says. ‘It wasn’t like a Gone With the Wind kind of love. But we were happy. We were friends.’”

But, in her book, she says it was loveless –  and that they hadn’t slept together in three years. And then – just to underscore how little class she has – she brutally compares her husband to Raniere, writing, “Going from Rusty to Keith is like going from a paper plane to a Concorde Jet”.

She waxes embarrassingly in the book about how she had marathon lovemaking sessions with Keith and how he could orgasm and start up again five minutes later. I guess that’s the sort of stuff that’s important to Toni.

So which is it?

Did she have a good marriage with Rusty or not?

Toni told me a similar version to the one she incorporated in her book: That her marriage was not good.  She also told that story to Heidi Hutchinson, Joe O’Hara and to numerous other individuals.

Heidi said that “Toni’s version was that Rusty was not affectionate and their marriage was over in spirit – so, in effect, her starting to have an affair with Keith should not be judged as adultery.”

Toni told me that her adulterous affair with Keith came without objection on the part of Rusty.

Rusty was through with her, glad to be rid of her, she said.

I can understand that Toni might want to justify the fact that she committed adultery by saying her marriage was over – and yet she claimed at other times – in the past – that it was a “good marriage.”

All I’m looking for is the truth: Was it a bad and loveless marriage – or a good marriage?

Was the change in her story over the years a refinement  to make herself look better?

Both stories cannot be true.

But, unfortunately for Toni, we have both versions on the record.

Faced with these two contradictory stories, the next thing a good investigative reporter would do is speak with her third husband, Rusty DeCook, and see what he has to say on the subject.

Which is exactly what I did.

Stay tuned…


Maybe it’s just me but I find it almost unbelievable that Toni would take such unnecessary and gratuitous shots at a man with whom she shares a son. Especially when those shots have absolutely nothing to do with the storyline of her book.

I wonder what their son, Michael, thinks about all of Mom’s revelations.

About the author

Frank Parlato


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  • Warning!!! Extreme shallow comment to follow… But it’s reality, so deal with it.

    Re the sexless marriage.

    When Toni Natalie was married to Rusty, Toni Natalie was “hot”.

    I find it hard to believe that Rusty was not attracted to or enamored with Natalie.

    A lot of men fall for “crazy hot broads” because there is excitement and the sex is good.

    Look at the men that dump everything to be with her if you happen to not agree.

    Maybe he hated her personality down the road. Natalie saying Rusty did not want to have sex is bullsh*t even if he hated her personally. I am not buying it.

    Remember everyone…..

    How many false rumors has Toni Natalie started about the participants that battled Raniere?

    • I agree with her once being a very attractive woman. She must have had quite a lot of attention from men and she must have thrived on it. A lot of the time people who are shallow with no emotional depth are just into the thrill of the chase. If this is what makes a person’s world go round. then they are going to have trouble dealing with the blow of aging. Most of us who don’t have spare cash for surgery will just have to suck it up and grow up but then there are the other types… The attention inevitably dries up, especially when they pick the wrong surgeon, and the insatiable need for it must come from elsewhere, hence all the interviews and the book. Of course, this is just my humble opinion. I find it all very interesting.

  • I think Natalie’s inability to have kids made her think she was less of a person and woman, so she had to bring others down to her level by abusing them. Raniere was attracted to her because he wouldn’t have to waste money by having her get abortions.

  • After searching an online database (Intelius), it says that Chet Evans Hardin is only 44 years old.

    I was surprised by this. Maybe it was an error?

    This really struck me as odd since his partner is a 61 year old, granny-aged woman with a face that looks as if she’s 65-70.

    44 year old Chet’s partner:



    Yuck. How can any man get ‘wood’ looking at that face? LOL.

    I’ve heard on FrankReport that Chet is Toni’s ‘partner’ (which I’m assuming means a romantic partner, not just a business partner). If I’m wrong about that assumption, somebody can correct me.

    Anyway, I’m wondering why Chet’s not ‘trading-in’ his very old & antiquated model vehicle (Toni) for something newer? 🙂

    Unless he’s ugly or a slob (I have no idea what he looks like) he could probably trade-in his GRANNY-AGED partner for a pretty 30 year old cutie, rather than remain with THIS scary face below:



    So I’m wondering this…

    Is it possible that Chet is staying with Toni in an attempt to milk her for some of the book money?

    Is he staying with Toni just long enough to have her spend lots of her book money on him, before possibly dumping her in a couple years once the well runs dry? 🙂

    Maybe somebody who knows Chet can write an article for Frank to publish, talking about what his agenda with Toni might be.

    PS — According to Frank Parlato, Toni claimed that bedding the below man was like riding “The Concorde”:


    If the guy in that photo is akin to “The Concorde” — then American ‘standards’ are really going downhill. LOL.

  • The truth is probably somewhere in the middle. It was probably good at the beginning, good and bad at times in the middle, and a crappy marriage towards the end. But that doesn’t justify her committing adultery. I get the feeling she’s a skank.

  • And so now we find out that before she left Raniere for the much younger Scott Foley, she left him for some single dad named Mark. Well, if nothing else, Mark has to feel like the luckiest guy in the world. Having Toni leave you before she got her hands on your money is like winning the Power Ball jackpot.

  • Frank: I hope you have time to fact-check a lot of Toni’s claims in her book. Clearly, the publisher did little or no fact-checking at all.

  • OMG…I’m only halfway through this garbage book and there’s already been at least 10 references by Toni to her “beauty”. What a fucking narcissist. No wonder she and Raniere made such a perfect couple.

    • I’m not buying Natalie’s book.
      It’s full of shit, lies and I wouldn’t give her a penny of my hard earned money.

  • My opinion of Natalie, Bouchey, and Hutchinson went down when they refused to come on my radio show. I don’t need to buy anything from them and put money in their pockets to confirm that position.

    • Scott,

      My opinion of Frank Parlato went down after I learned he went on your radio show.

      It’s a podcast, not a radio show. Your show is not broadcast via the airwaves.

      Could you possibly be more stereotypically white trash?

      • My opinion of you went down after I learned you’re too scared to come on my radio show. That was a difficult thing to happen, as I already didn’t think much of you. LOL

        I often refer to it as a radio show/podcast, and the reason I also call it a radio show because the guy who does all of the work to produce the show calls it a radio show, so I couldn’t care less what a coward such as yourself thinks. I have no idea how you relate a radio show/podcast to being “stereotypically white trash,” I’ll just chalk it up to your extreme stupidity and cowardess. LOL

    • They might speak on the show if you offered them something. Maybe they would fall for a box of cheap soap like you did Mr Bubble.

        • I think the point they’re trying to make is – You should offer some of the stockpiled laundry detergent in your parent’s garage as an incentive for your guests to appear on the show.

          • My parents don’t have a garage, my mom died over a decade ago, my dad is in an assisted living center and no longer owns a car, let alone a house. Guests should give me something for being on the show – after all, I’m giving them an opportunity to provide their views. We’ve had numerous guests, including three PhDs, two of whom have studied MLM from the inside. We even had “Violet” on the show. We’ve also had Frank, people who were involved with Scientology, a woman whose husband is threatening to leave her and their kids, even though he is being scammed by Amway, the actress who played the mother of the girl who was sex trafficked in the movie “8 Days” and as a result became active in helping shut down real sex traffickers, and some I can’t think of off of the top of my head.

            So the bottom line is none of you have a point, you are just a bunch of juveniles making fools of yourselves. Good thing for all of you that you don’t use your real names. LOL

          • Nutjob,


            BTW that laundry detergent in Scott Amway Johnson’s house is worth $50 dollars a box.

            Scott payed Amway $49.90. Scott makes a whole .10 cents commission on every box.

            In just one day Scott makes more money than a farmer in Sierra Leone Africa working an entire month…..

            ….And at the same time Scott makes less money than an American teenager working at McDonalds…. So sad.

    • Maybe because Frank wasn’t the one who wrote a BOOK to SELL untrue bullshit to the public.

      Go eat your mint flavored cookies.

    • Girlscout Cookies,


      He already released 2 chapters.

      You all missed it.

      Remember a number of months ago Frank wrote 2 incredible articles?

      One of the articles was regarding how ordinary people slowly get ensnared in cults.

      Frank has quietly been at work for some time…

      Frank, I can read behind lines much like Bangkok. 😉

  • I’m wondering why, with NXIVM still operating and Rainbow Culture Centers flourishing, and all of the apparent connections to equally questionable enterprises — why is this blog turning into a tabloid gossip site? A thousand articles on Allison Mack, stories that determine whether or not Toni’s marriage and mothering bore any merit, essays on weight loss/gain — geez, Louise, why not punch up instead of down for a change? There are dozens of kids on youtube who are doing better investigation than this, with sources listed and claims verified.

    • I do believe the point here is to show how many statements are m̶i̶s̶r̶e̶p̶r̶e̶s̶e̶n̶t̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ , ̶a̶s̶p̶e̶r̶s̶i̶o̶n̶ , ̶f̶a̶b̶r̶i̶c̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ , lies. It puts the complete veracity of the book in question and leaves one to ask, why do that if one has nothing to hide.
      You’re welcome.

    • I would suggest that you catch up on the articles that led to everyone discussing Phonie Natalie’s parenting methods. I bet the so-called kid investigators are allowed to eat and if they are investigating nxivm, all roads lead to Rome. No one can do a proper investigation on Nxivm without Frank Report. Mommy Dearest aka phonie Natalie is in a sense just like Raniere regulating food. Her fucking child starved while her mouth overflowed with a pedophile’s prick. I couldn’t even listen to that dumb podcast the other day. In her first few breaths, she says she was never involved with Nxivm! WTF? Yeah, patient zero alright.

  • Toni Natalie has an aura, just as everybody who is not yet deceased has an aura. These expressive halos of light cannot be concealed. Just ask any accidental clairvoyant in your neighborhood. Let us examine her cosmic comicbook “affect.” My gawd, all a mass of dark reddish scab-blood hues, combined with spiky grey and black projectiles! Jeez Louise. Why oh why does she keep driving away her own healing? What a rut.

    Her auric field appears to feature some kind of human-sized bodily shield of porcupine needles. It isn’t pretty. And Smokey Robinson has refused to sing “Just My Imagination” to accompany any viewings of poor Toni’s future of bumpy nights, not knights.

    Perhaps Mr. Parlato is too willing to be friendly? He is, at least to me, a wise and merciful man., and I guess that he is right. It’s never too late.

      • The truth is for suckers with these people.

        High Pressure Sales Toni the ancient Vampire. Her sarcophagus is cold waiting for her return. What She Sews In the Shadows Season 2.

        She quit smoking on her mf-ing own, she had to build Keith up for her own selfish needs. She intended to use him as much as he used her.

        Pots & kettles & Toni’s gaping void.

        Look how pretty Mommy is!

        They’re harpies, not witches.

        “I’ll tell you all my secrets but I lie about my past.” -Tom Waits

    • The book by Toni Natalie (and Chet Hardin) has been published. Now that everyone can (but shouldn’t) buy it, it’s too late. But Toni Natalie has certainly received a large advance of fees. The publisher certainly doesn’t earn any money with the book. One could say freshly printed waste paper for the garbage can.

  • Everything about Toni Natalie is fake not just her boobs. Sounds to me like Rusty was lucky to get away from that bitch. And poor Michael. What a sad excuse for a Mom.

  • Frank has asked the right question: Why the hell did Toni find it necessary to diss her ex-husband in a book that’s supposed to be about the takedown of Keith Raniere? Is she mad at Rusty for some reason? Maybe because he didn’t fight harder to keep her from running off with a scumbag like Raniere? What a bitch!

  • WTF? Didn’t the publishers do any fact-checking on this book at all? And what about Chet Hardin, did he just write down whatever Toni said and assume it was all true? Chet describes himself as an “investigative journalist” but it sounds like he was little more than a scribe on this project. Maybe living with Toni throughout the trial left him incapable of being objective?

  • I totally agree with Frank’s final comment.

    It’s almost ‘unbelievable’ that Toni would take such gratuitous shots at a man she shares a son with.

    I guess Toni cares about Toni first.

    Her marriage to Rusty was not part of the NXIVM takedown storyline and there’s no reason to knife him in the back (figuratively) and portray him in the worst of ways to the public.

    Thus, I’m left to surmise that Toni’s only reason for knifing Rusty in the back is to attempt to ‘preemptively’ discredit him and stave-off his future challenges to her constantly changing stories.

    For instance… Her huge failure as a mother is something she likely wants nobody to hear about IN DETAIL — thus, by trashing Rusty first, she’s likely hoping that other media outlets won’t want to hear his point of view and will paint him as a guy with an axe to grind.

    She’s hitting out at him before he can hit back in the media. It shows she’s very cold and calculating.

    What about her son’s feelings? He likely loves his dad. Did Toni not consider that?

    It’s especially ‘cold’ IMO because her own son likely loves his father and doesn’t wanna see him trashed in the public eye just to promote Toni’s book sales and image.

    If she truly loved her son more than anything on Earth (like most mom’s would), then she’d have just kept quiet about Rusty and not gone out of her way to trash him in the public eye.

    This tells me that Toni likely cares more about her own public image than she does about her son or his feelings.

    It’s also comical that Toni complained about Rusty’s parenting abilities to Heidi (about food), since at least Rusty was around to love and raise their son — something Toni wasn’t even around for.

    Toni first ditched her son (she didn’t raise him) — yet she then complains about Rusty’s parenting skills?

    I think she needs to see a mental health specialist IF these things are really true, LOL. 🙂

  • So, I’m not going shadow and curling up with the book, but I’ve made my way through the part where Toni talked about Rusty. IMO, her marriage to him was a classic pattern that many couples find themselves in. From what I just read from Frank, I don’t know that her different descriptions of her marriage are contradictory. Toni and Rusty were friends living together and raising a child. Loved each other, but no love making.

    Is this a good marriage? Could be worse. Could be better. And unless you’re trying to sell books, why would she openly talk about the quality and quantity of their sex life?

    Now, what I really want to hear is Rusty’s version. And, Frank’s take on Rusty. Since Toni had no problem opening up about the sex lives of people in her book, I don’t feel bad about wanting to hear from Rusty. I’ve already had a rip-roaring good time about something in the book that is wrong (although I think Toni actually believes it), so I’m getting the popcorn ready for Rusty’s hopefully entertaining story.

  • Good article, Frank.

    Glad that you’re speaking to Rusty to get his side of the story.

    I’m all for the truth even if it paints Toni in a better light.

    Thus, if Rusty confirms that it was a bad marriage and that he was truly a bad husband who was okay with her fucking Keith while they were married, then it should be reported that way.

    However, it still won’t change the fact that Toni may have lied to James Odato for the 2012 article by calling it a good marriage even though she’s now changed her story.

    Therefore, it’ll still mean that Toni has a veracity problem. She can easily change her story whenever she thinks it’ll benefit her.

    Also, it won’t change her lousy parenthood record.

    She abandoned her young son and, according to Heidi, she tossed him outta her house a 2nd time years later for dubious reasons. That tells me all I need to know about the ‘love’ she has in her heart for her son.

    Then… She only reunited with her son when he was finally an adult with an independent job and no longer needed anything from her.

    IMO, that’s just another way of saying that she reunited with her son when it was CONVENIENT and she no longer had the emotional/financial cost of raising him.

    IMO, that’s not a loving mom. IMO, that’s a loveless mom.

    Heidi should still be ashamed of herself for not 100% rising up against Toni for her misdeeds as a mother.

    Shame on Heidi. 🙂

    • I won’t support Toni Natalie by buying her book. Frank has already proven it’s a pack of lies. Natalie can’t help herself she’s got to be pathological with her lying.

      Chet Hardin isn’t much better. How can he write a story for Metrolamd saying one thing about Natalie’s marriage and write her book saying the opposite?

      Going goes to show when two people are unemployable they will do anything for a buck.

      Makes one wonder what happened during those six weeks Toni and Chet shared a hotel room. We know now, Natalie is a man eater. Did she have her way with Chet? Should his wife be worried? Why would Chet lie for Toni?

      Natalie’s book sounds similar to the text read in court between Raniere and his youngest DOS slave. Who penis was bigger, who could go at it longer…. How sick can one woman be?

      Something a stable mother would be proud to have her son read about his dad. REALLLY

      What kind of mom exposes a child to this kind of information no matter the age of the child. Children had a right to have a relationship with their parent without the other one getting in the way.

      Toni Natalie out of her self centered narcissism has forever put information into her son’s brain about both parents that can never be changed.

      Michael, her adult son might try to make it alright for her by saying “it’s ok mom, I’m Ok, I’m proud of you”. Ms. Natalie, you will never know, once again out of your need to look after #1, yourself, you have once again damaged your kid.

      The talk shows should be lining up to have Natalie and Hardin to come share their pack of lies.

      • You know, you can fight back / call a spade a spade / be pissed off / be out for revenge / call out inaccuracies because you are an ethical person / provide content for FR / or whatever it is you’re doing, without stooping so low. What I mean by that is, you keep insinuating that Chet was unfaithfull to his wife and you are totally lacking in any proof of this shit that you’re throwing. And you keep saying Toni doesn’t/never loved her son. I mean, what is wrong with you? It just makes it look like you are hellbent on causing as much pain as possible to Toni and Chet AND Michael (the one you so admirably pretend to be watching out for).

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” In addition, he was credited in the Starz docuseries 'Seduced' for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premieres on May 22, 2022.

IMDb — Frank Parlato


Contact Frank with tips or for help.
Phone / Text: (305) 783-7083
Email: frankparlato@gmail.com