Why I allow criticism of Barbara Bouchey on Frank Report and some criticism of her by the Retard

Editor’s Note: When people enter the arena, as Barbara Bouchey has chosen to do, they should expect both good and bad reactions. If they can’t handle the bad, and only want to hear the good, they probably should consider not entering the arena.

One of Barb’s favorite quotes is one of Teddy Roosevelt’s:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

As such, while many decry it, saying that no criticism of Barb should ever be allowed on this site, she is getting much criticism. Largely for her assertion that Nxivm had much good to offer. That somehow the good was there and was good despite the leader being bad.

For Barb to say this and for me not to allow a robust debate on this subject would be a disservice to readers.  As such, I am going to publish responses to Barb’s concept that Nxivm could have been a force for good despite its founder being admittedly by Barb – though a genius she thinks – a force of evil in the world. That something good came out of his genius — is what is up for debate.

The following comment is from an individual who generally seems to lack common manners who used to call him or herself [itself] One Night In Bangkok but is now calling her/himself the Retard.

Now some believe that the word “retard” is a politically incorrect word and must not be used anymore, and should be retired from the English language. Perhaps it should be – yet this is the name this individual has chosen to name her/himself – the Retard – so I will use that chosen name.

The Retard, though rude, and unlike Barb, hiding behind anonymity, which always makes one a tad bit braver, if not ruder, often makes points that are insightful and provocative and probably would be a good writer and much more persuasive if (s)he could be a little more civil.

I am sure Retard won’t mind these caustic comments about her/himself since (s)he is so free and easy with insults often calling people names – including me – which by the way I have no trouble printing – for you see, I am in the arena, like Barb, and like her, I use my own name – and I don’t tremble at noises or grow depressed with criticism and insults. In fact, I find them amusing. They often brighten my day.  I wish Barb would learn to do the same.

I mean, after all, we won. Retard was not part of the fight. Barb was and victory is for celebration and not for telling yourself you have PTSD ad nauseam.

Here is Retard’s comment about Barbara Bouchey:

By the Retard

As others have pointed out, there’s ALWAYS some measure of ‘goodness’ in just about everything and everybody on Earth.

It’s true that NXIVM probably helped students with improving their self-confidence and losing their anxieties, along with helping students to be more self-reliant and able to complete tasks better.

I’m sure that NXIVM students were able to lose their ‘shyness’ too, LOL, as one famous person said.

However… Hitler’s SS/Gestapo Training Facilities also instilled those “same” positive attributes within recruits — things such as improved self-confidence and a better perception of one’s “self” (which helped recruits to shed their shyness and work better with others). If that weren’t true, the SS and Gestapo would not have flourished during Hitler’s regime.

Hitler himself also did many good deeds for average German citizens before the war.

Not “everything” Hitler did was purely evil, contrary to what many people believe.

Yet, that doesn’t mean much.

Fact is, even first-time students (attending a NXIVM class for the 1st time) were forced to recite a chant at the end of class — promising to attempt to recruit new students along with thanking Vanguard and Prefect in sycophant fashion, thus attempting to make them dependent on Vanguard and Prefect for all moral judgments RIGHT FROM DAY #1.

Thus, if brand new recruits were already being brainwashed right from Day #1 — that means nothing NXIVM did was “untainted” or “purely good.”

If even their “casual” class takers were being brainwashed, then NOTHING at NXIVM was ever done for the good of anybody else EXCEPT NXIVM ITSELF.

The small elements of “goodness” that people may have received from taking such classes were just SIDE EFFECTS of the brainwashing process (i.e., if NXIVM can’t point to anything “good”, then nobody would have any reason to continue).

I think Barb is taking stock of her entire life (in her advancing age) and simply doesn’t have the courage to admit — to herself — that much of her adult life was WASTED worshiping a pudgy, short and smelly geek.

I think Barb can’t admit THE TRUTH that she spent much of her adult life worshiping a perverted guy that simply couldn’t stop thinking of ways to get his rocks off.

Who wants to admit TO THEMSELVES that their time on planet Earth had almost no positive effect for mankind?

I’ll tell you who DOESN’T want to admit that:  Barb Bouchey. 

She’s not a bad person. She simply lacked the moral backbone (or intelligence) to stop being Keith’s stooge for so many years. I just don’t see her as anything but Keith’s stooge.

About the author

Frank Parlato


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  • Why hasn’t Barbara answered any of our questions?

    People took time to read her posts, watch the TU video and ask for clarifications… not one single answer to a question that might shine a light on the dark side of her time in NXIVM.

    Bouchey spent plenty of time writing Thank yous to those who sent words of encouragement, praise and easy questions.

    Now, she’s dropped off the Frank Report face of the earth.

  • Barbara is all ready changing the narrative around NXIVM which makes me suspect she wants to be in on a revitalized, repackaged Ponzi scheme of this schlock.

    I believe she’s enjoying all the attention. After all it is flattering to be sought after. Such flattery turns many a head.

    Barb, put a period on it. Get on with your life. Don’t look back.

    As any good lawyer would tell you, put it behind you.

  • “Retard was not part of the fight. Barb was and victory is for celebration and not for telling yourself you have PTSD ad nauseam.” — Frank Parlato.

    What a cop out, Frank! You know damn well it’s not about Barb (or anyone with or without PTSD) beating HERSELF up. When has Barb ever done that, publically?

    It’s about FR allowing “Retard” — someone who, much to his obvious chagrin, can take no credit in any “victory,” nor impart any knowledge nor understanding, nor any entertaining, insightful anecdotes — to constantly verbally abuse others — especially those who CAN and DO offer real value here — and are therefore the greatest threat to “Retard” — on your site.

    “Retard” has NO redeeming value, makes no salient, original points, as you claim. What? When? No, “Retard” ONLY regurgitates, reduces others thoughts and ideas down to their crudest, ugliest, most offensive form.

    Most offensively, “Retard” flagrantly LIES and blatantly misinforms. Talk about “rewriting history.”

    Most often, “Retard” distorts [its] victim’s words or position, as casually as [it] also distorts facts, to make [it’s] putrid arguments.

    “Retard” does not encourage “roboust debate,” as you say, Frank. “Retard” does not merely strongly disagree, “Retard” insists on having the last word, chiefly using insults but sometimes even flattery — whatever works — to bully its victims away from contradicting it, to deflect and discourage discourse. “Retard” cannot stand “debate,” to be opposed. “Retard” is a very bad loser. And a loser, it is.

    “Retard,” “Bangkok,” “Toots,” “Emoji Troll,” “Smiley,” “Scott (Tex) Johnson” (IMO) and all the other alias’ it uses, is a toxic, possibly dangerously disassociated soul with clear, severe, malicious gender identification issues whom you previously promised to curtail but have permitted to, once again, overtake FR like a plague. It may not get many hits on its gratefully segregated “Bangkok” etc. posts, but it permeates the comments section, nonetheless, under its many alias.

    I was hoping you’d say you’ve been too busy to control it rather than defend it as you are now.

    But before I sign off, as so many other FR commenters and contributors have due to this unchecked, cancerous invader and, now, your reneging on your promise to contain rather than propogate it, perhaps you can offer a more honest answer to explain your attachment to “Retard,” etc.?

    I do believe you and your so-called Trump chump “friends’,” such as Roger Stone, devotion to POTUS and his offensive (to many) ways — including his verbal abusiveness and personal attacks on Twitter, SM — is part of why you defend and pretend this type of narcissistic bully behavior has little if any impact on individuals or society. Why, a good insult, you say, even brightens your day.

    Yet, in truth, last time we spoke on the phone about Scott Johnson after I’d read another of his insults toward YOU, you were SEETHING with anger toward him and reiterated that you thought of him as an “asshole” and said you wished you could shut him down but know he’ll come back using alias’ with a vengeance.

    In fact, verbal and emotional abuse contributes to causing disassociative orders, mental breakdown and social violence. In fact, KAR, Salzman, Bronfman and their minions relied on some of these same techniques themselves to emotionally breakdown and mentally control their victims, who then, in turn, victimized and subborned others with the same, despicable methods.

    Boggles my mind as to why else, Frank, when you have worked so long and hard — and nearly single-handedly in the final stages — to rid society of a toxic, malignant narcissist like KAR, you would condone one like Scott Johnson, “Retard” whatevs etc. right under your nose on your own blog?

    Perhaps restarianing orders are in order if retaliation against you or your readers is the issue as you HAVE told me. After all, Twitter had to ban Scott Johnson and his alias’ to protect themselves and their site users from his abusiveness.

  • While I appreciate Frank’s reference to Teddy Roosevelt, I’m not sure that Barb’s experience as Keith’s #1 harem member (and creator of V-week) is akin to the noble actions of our former president.

    According to an article by the Cult Education Institute, Barb was allegedly the person who originally created Vanguard-week.

    How can Barb expect to be treated as a hero or victim who “fights the good fight” INSIDE THE ARENA —- when she spent so many years honoring that psycho and aiding his actions in various ways?

    To be fair…. Barb did do some good things AFTER leaving NXIVM which served the greater good and helped to get Keith investigated.

    However, I feel that Barb’s actions (against Keith) were done out of spite or revenge rather than by a legitimate moral urge to help female victims.

    She seems like a nice person though, but she’s attempting to rewrite history in a way that doesn’t seem fair.

    Has she suffered from NXIVM and Keith?


    Does she deserve peace at this stage?


    …But the ‘ultimatum’ she sent to NXIVM doesn’t really make her a victim in my view.

    Barb’s ‘ultimatum’ is akin to a small country declaring war on a large country and firing an opening barrage of missiles into their camp.

    Guess what?

    Of course they’re gonna retaliate with 10 tank battalions, while attempting to steamroll your entire army. LOL.

    Especially since Barb has no SIGNED loan documents — signed by the borrowers — to prove they agreed to this ‘loan’ in the first place.

    Barb says that she put the loan in writing AFTER THE FACT, but apparently without the signatures of the borrowers, LOL.

    She should have just walked away without making any ultimatums.

    She’s the one who ‘declared war’ on NXIVM by making that ultimatum, not the other way around.

    *She may have been justified in asking for that loan money back BUT that doesn’t necessarily justify threatening to embarrass NXIVM in the press if they don’t pay up.

    She started that fight, IMO.

    NXIVM’s response could not have been a surprise to Barb, based upon her previous knowledge of how NXIVM treats its enemies.

    What say you, Frank?

  • I initially felt Frank Parlato went back on his “word”, when he allowed Bangkok and a few others to attack Barbara. In hindsight, I now believe he did the right thing.

    Frank Parlato has given Barbara a very small taste of what is to come if she stays on her present course of defending Nxivm’s tech.

    Barbara will no doubt be invited to go on television talk and news shows once the trial begins.

    Television producers will no doubt cajole Barbara on to their shows so the host can ambush and attack Barbara for ratings. Barbara seems fairly head strong and whoever her friend and family are I hope they are trying to dissuade her from taking her present stance, at least for the time being.

    If Barbara cannot stand the heat, she should stay out of the kitchen.

    Once the media focus back on Nxivm, Barbara is going to feel like she is in a nuclear blast furnace.

    And yes Scott Johnson nuclear blast furnaces are real.

    • I personally believe that if you put individuals through training course or boot camp type program that is physiologically and or physically draining and build the individuals back up emotionally at the end they will feel better and enlightened.

      If you disagree just speak to anyone that has gone through the Marines basic training program. Most former marines identified as marines and feel a brotherhood with all former marines decades later.

      Barbara’s Nxivm tech is not so special.

      NXIVM destroyed lives and that is all it ever did.

      I feel sorry for Barbara but it’s the truth.

      • Isn’t that the type of good she’s talking about? Keith’s genius or the help people took away from the programs isn’t special. It’s no different than turning to religion, a higher power, AA or a 12 step program. Many of the people that have commented have admitted going from one cult to another. They seek out groups, community, a calling or mission. Some people live life by doing the normal routine ; college, career, marriage, house, kids etc
        Others road trip, hike through Europe, find themselves or seek enlightenment.
        You drop 2-5k on self help, improvement you’re going to tell people even yourself that it worked and that you got something positive out of it and the people in flyover country just don’t get it. It doesn’t matter if they’re NXIVM, Amway, Methodist or AA. They’re as sure it’s the only way to achieve results as the sixty year old farmer is that it’s all bullshit.

    • It’s not allowing people to attack Barbara that shows Frank went back on his word. It’s allowing people to attack her without using their “real names” Just last week Frank wrote, If anyone truly wants to make serious allegations against her character, or conduct, then I am going to request they use their real names.”

  • Ya and she was the butt of their jokes. I recall Keith, Nancy Barbara Jeskey, Karen Pam and others laughing at her during the birth of Vanguard celebrations at Silver Bay!
    These were cruel people that practiced cruelty and abuse to anyone that came in contact with them.

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” In addition, he was credited in the Starz docuseries 'Seduced' for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premieres on May 22, 2022.

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Contact Frank with tips or for help.
Phone / Text: (305) 783-7083
Email: frankparlato@gmail.com