Comic writes routine: Keith Raniere is a liar

It may not be very original routine, but a comic sent in his proposed comedy routine for his appearance at Vanguard Week.


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Take me to your leader.

For years, Keith Raniere told people he was an expert in computers when he was four-years-old and he would fix people’s laptops at their homes.

When the Frank Report pointed out that, when Mr. Raniere was four years old – it was 1964 – and there were no home computers, Vanguard had a good explanation for this discrepancy: He loves to lie.


In litigation news, a US District Court Judge quizzed Keith Raniere this week. And gave him a perfect score on the lying section. He’s a dirty liar.


More questions about Keith Raniere’s truthfulness: In an interview with the Times Union, Vanguard claimed he tied for the New York State record for the 100-yard dash and that he had an IQ “of over 350.”

When it was pointed out to him that these were not especially good lies, Mr. Raniere responded “I know I have a problem.” Then he added, “I invented teleconferencing in 1996.”


raniere 4
What’s so funny about me? Don’t you know I’m “the smartest man in the world”?

Clare Bronfman told IRS investigators that the $65 million she gave Keith Raniere was a “loan” to invest in commodities and even though “he lost every dime of it”, she made no effort to get him to pay her back.

When he was questioned, Keith Raniere at first said he had no recollection of the loan. Then he added he never even met Clare Bronfman.


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Despite pressure, Toni Natalie and Barbara Bouchey are still refusing to testify to federal investigators about Keith Raniere’s money laundering schemes involving Mexican illegals. Some are charging that Vanguard has secretly promised them he would not sue them again in return for their silence.

Well, in a candid interview this week, Vanguard admitted that he might consider not suing them again, but only after he made “every effort to have them killed in a Mexican prison.”


This weekend, veteran reporter James Odato apologized to Keith Raniere for his stories where he called Vanguard a boring and uncreative liar.

Admitted Odato, “There was certainly nothing uncreative about the way you swindled the Bronfmans out of almost $200 million, raped a 12-year old girl, encouraged Gina Hutchinson to commit suicide, and told a series of women you were going to make babies with them because you loved them forever, then wound up suing them or trying to get them raped in a Mexican prison.”


This week in State Supreme Court, in arguments before Judge Holly Trexler, lawyers for Keith Raniere asked that the sexual harassment suit brought by several married women in his cult be delayed until after he left for the Fiji Islands.

According to Mr. Raniere’s attorney, “If Vanguard was hauled into court every time some nut accused him of sexual harassment, he’d have no time to have sex with the rest of the wives of the Society of Protectors.”


In a radio interview this week, Keith Raniere scoffed at conspiracy nuts, as he called them, who are obsessed with lambasting his men’s group “the Society of Protectors” for allowing their wives to be branded on their pubic area with Keith Raniere’s initials.

Mr. Raniere compared his critics to nut groups fascinated by UFOs and the Hail Bob Comet. Although he did concede one point of similarity between the member of Heaven’s Gate and the Society of Protectors: They both have 39 members who were castrated.



As new questions arise about Allison Mack’s role in DOS, the secretive women’s slave-master group that includes hot-iron branding and blackmail, Vanguard appears to be distancing himself from Miss Mack.

Earlier today Vanguard insisted “Hey I sleep with 100s of girls. I can’t vouch for all of them.”

About the author

Frank Parlato

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  • This is not even remotely funny. To attack the people and their families of heaven gate. 39 people died and most of them still have family living who remember the sad day they got the terrible news that their son or diaghter committed suicide. To make a joke about this is evil. I’m surprised that you aren’t making Hitler jokes.

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” Parlato was also credited in the Starz docuseries "Seduced" for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Additionally, Parlato’s coverage of the group OneTaste, starting in 2018, helped spark an FBI investigation, which led to indictments of two of its leaders in 2023.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premiered on May 22, 2022. Most recently, he consulted and appeared on Tubi's "Branded and Brainwashed: Inside NXIVM," which aired January, 2023.

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Contact Frank with tips or for help.
Phone / Text: (305) 783-7083