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Frank Report
The truth is always fair

Keith used problem-solving ability to solve flaccid challenge

12/22/2018  |  Frank Parlato
Keith used problem-solving ability to solve flaccid challenge
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Warning: Salacious material in this post. Do not read further if you are squeamish.

Guest View by Hot Sauce and Pizza, Pussy sans Garlic

Regardless of Keith’s limp dick status, he used his problem solving abilities to remedy that situation.

According to Frank Parlato, when Keith was presented with the problem of a flaccid dick inhibiting his ability to engage in coitus, he quickly invented a new ‘tech’ to fix the issue.

According to Frank, this new tech is called the ‘tune up’ and it goes something like this…

a) Keith eats a woman’s pussy using his filthy tongue and bad breath, while forgoing full coitus.

b) Said woman pretends to orgasm for Keith.

c) Keith then positions himself over the woman’s chest and proceeds to use high speed masturbation to spew his boy-batter on said woman’s titties, where he apparently struggles to spew out his man-milk from that ancient, flaccid and semi-dormant volcano.

Fortunately for the prosecution, this new ‘tech’ amounts to sexual assault just as much as full coitus does.

I’m just glad these poor women didn’t have to taste his boy-batter. Keith’s diet is foul and I have no doubt that his rotten tasting semen would make any woman retch their guts out.

Still you gotta give props to Keith for inventing this new ‘tech’. Like the old saying goes, necessity is the mother of invention.

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Comments (12)

  • Can we go back to Shadow's Mack stories now?
  • AnonymousDecember 22, 2018
    WTF, Frank is hard up for stories. This story is close to pron. That should be the warning.
  • PyrielDecember 22, 2018
    Damn! There I was, expecting the new “tech” to involve two matchsticks and a rubber band.
    • TKDecember 24, 2018
      Funny!
  • AnonymousDecember 22, 2018
    Did little Keithy shoot his load on Kristin Kreuk? Her boobies are very small, but Allison Mack is ugly and he still fucked her. Pea Onyu said he ravished Kreuk.
    • SmellvilleDecember 23, 2018
      Old posts said something about SOP classes taught the men to cum on their women's face…to show power/ownership I guess. And Kk's long time bf was the head of SOP–so–if not Kieth, Hildreth probably did, amd maybe took pics too.
      • AnonymousDecember 23, 2018
        And she’s into BDSM apparently according to Jane the DOS slave. She was a sub but was/is embarrassed to admit it. Still want to find out if Girls By Design was related to BDSM like Jane said and if it was created by Kreuk to identify girls suitable for it like the ex GBD said about the questionnaires the girls were given.
  • TKDecember 23, 2018
    Please! No! Keith should get his money back from the photographer who took this photo. He looks like an elf on a shelf. Too much gray in a minimal setting. It looks like he is an installation in an art museum.
  • SmellvilleDecember 23, 2018
    I don't believe anything Jane said…a real person but a fake story
  • AnonymousDecember 23, 2018
    Looks like someone got fooled by a NXIVM troll. Just when you thought that this site was being cleaned up, an entire article on irrelevant nonsense is posted so horney teenagers can post about blowing their load.
  • skDecember 23, 2018
    OMG TK…he really does look like elf on a self. LOL…
    • TKDecember 23, 2018
      🙂 He really does! All he needs is a red or green onesie with an elf cap! He's sitting there rather stoic — not happy. I tell ya, if the chair were an inch taller, his heals would not touch the floor. Tee tee!!

      Would be funny if there were a “Ken” doll made in his likeness. First of all, the head should be three times the normal size so it fits his ego/. 🙂

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