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Branson repopens Necker Island

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Frank Parlato
White sandy beaches and warm temperatures - lots of sun and because of the group, a lot of brainwashingly good fun.

By Evonne Brossard

Foreign Correspondent

Your intrepid reporter here today, this is Evonne Brossard wishing you a fantastic Holiday season.  Are you a budding cult member? Need a remote Caribbean island to lay down your plans? Want to feel warm trade winds blowing through your hair? And as Kristin Kook says with, “More blowing going on tonight, tee hee.”

Well, I have the place for you. Richard Branson has just announced that his Cult Hideaway is open and ready for business! Check out the renovations below:

Necker IslandNecker Island

Overhead view of Cult Paradise, aka ‘Naked Island’…ummm…I mean Necker Island. Plenty of space to conduct initiations, vagina branding, sleep deprivation, and medical experiments. Oh my!

 

necker 1Open air is the way of life on Necker Island.

Inside view of the newly renovated common areas. Perfect to observe and conduct human fright experiments.

necker 5By day, if you're not in an intensive learning about the suicide module or how to spot a Luciferian [hint - he does not believe in the Vanguard] you can relax and soak up some warm tropical sun.

 

necker 3One of the best climates in the world - except when hurricanes come. Warm by day and night - often with highs in the 80s and lows in the 70s.

 

 

 

necker 4The nights are special with warm tropical breezes and plenty of good food and expensive libations on hand.

Want to wine and dine airhead heiresses? You can do that here also! Impress clueless imbeciles with way too much money to spend and no common sense. Our facility encourages this!

 

 

 

 

The rooms are fit for a queen or a king as the case may be.The rooms are fit for a queen or a king as the case may be.

With a bed fit for a Vanguard.

 

Rates start at $50,000 per night. Can host up to 40 people.

 

While the glory days of Necker Island –

Kristin Kreuk and Allison Mack on Necker Island in 2010 at a secretive Nxivm gathering.Kristin Kreuk and Allison Mack on Necker Island in 2010 at a secretive Nxivm gathering.

Kristin Kreuk and Allison Mack on Necker Island.

 

Lama Tenzin at Necker Island with Allison Mack.Lama Tenzin at Necker Island with Allison Mack.

 

Allison Mack, Kristin Kreuk and Sara Bronfman at Necker Island.Allison Mack, Kristin Kreuk and Sara Bronfman at Necker Island.

It was reported by John Tighe that there was a lot of planning for NXIVM finances in 2010 at Necker Island. I can hear Nancy Salzman addressing the NXIVM contingent at Necker Island “My friends, it is indeed a financial pleasure to have so many of ya resemble here on this auspicious occasion…”

But that was the past and with Salzman indicted, new leadership is needed.

As for Necker Island, for more info, please call 1-800-GET-AWAY. If that number is busy, try 1-800-CRM-PAYS. See you soon!