Allan Kassenoff Email to Catherine ‘You Focused Your Rage on Destroying Me’

The Westchester, New York divorce and custody case, Kassenoff v Kassenoff, began in 2019, and has dragged on through four judges, two court-appointed forensic custody evaluators, four court-appointed attorneys for the children, and numerous court-appointed therapists. 

According to court records, the husband Allan Kassenoff made from $800k to $1 million annually, representing some of the biggest corporate clients in the world in patent infringement cases for the law firm of Greenberg Traurig.

His wife, the mother of their three children, Catherine Kassenoff, made $170,000 per year as special counsel for the office of a subcabinet ethics committee for the New York Governor.

She lost her job in 2022 after Allan persuaded Larchmont police to arrest her for violating a protective order. To secure her arrest, Allan and his attorney, Constantine ‘Gus’ Dimipoulus, had to mislead the Larchmont police that a legal protective order existed when it did not. 

The charges against Catherine were false, but it took two months for Catherine to prove it. Long before that, Allan allegedly was quick to get word to the governor’s ethics committee, and Catherine was promptly fired.

Because Allan earned much more than Catherine, he paid most of the court-appointed experts. It turned out to be an advantage, since in family court they always follow the golden rule:”He who has the gold, rules.”

With the advantage of money, Allan got full custody of the couple’s three children.

The experts – all billing by the hour – paid by Allan – were united in their recommendation that Allan should get custody, and Catherine supervised visits, or better still, no visits with her children.

Over the three years, that Allan had custody of the children, Catherine alleges that he successfully alienated them from her, their mother. 

According to Catherine, in what was her final Facebook post, Allan spent well over $3 million on the case. She claims Allan paid his attorney, Constantine ‘Gus’ Dimopolous, at least $2 million over the last four years. 

According to court records, the “neutral” experts cost Allan at least $500,000 more.

On top of that, Allan paid Catherine $885,000 in court-ordered payments during the pendency of the case.

Allan fought hard and paid big to win custody of his children.

On May 27, on Facebook, Catherine announced she planned to commit suicide with assistance at a facility in Switzerland later that day. FR was first to report it.

FR has not confirmed she followed through with her suicide plan. No one has reported hearing from her since.

Yet her announcement garnered a lot of attention and caused Allan to leave his position at Greenberg Traurig on a leave of absence. It is unclear if he will return. 

About two months before Catherine announced her suicide, Allan wrote an email to her about the children and the ruinous sum of money she forced him to spend out of love for his children. 

March 19, 2023,

Allen to Catherine…


You must really be proud of yourself for financially decimating me and the children. But make no mistake, no one is fooled Catherine; everyone knows that your goal is to destroy me and you don’t care what that means to the children.

You have sued me (and Gus) three times; you have tried to get me disbarred; you have tried to get me fired; you have reported me (repeatedly) to the police and District Attorney’s office; you have ridiculed and attacked me and embarrassed the kids on Facebook. And you know what? I’m still here and I’m still standing.

You have done all of this in hopes that I would give up and stop trying to protect the children from you. I won’t. Even if this court awards you my last dollar, I will never stop protecting them. Until the day I die.

If I lose my house, so be it. If I go bankrupt, so be it. I will do everything and anything to take care of the kids and protect them. You know why?

Because I love my children more than you could ever love anybody.

All you know is hate and vengeance. I feel sorry for you, and while at times I might become angry and frustrated, at the end of the day I pity you because your behavior has ruined your life and your relationship with the kids.

Instead of focusing on getting help, you have focused your rage on destroying me. For that, I’m sad for you because you will never get a chance to have these years back. Even if you succeed and take every last dollar I have, I will still have my children’s love and I will move forward in life knowing that I gave everything I had to protect them.


FR Artwork

From time to time, Frank Report will accept art from various artists and have one of our art critics give readers insight into the themes presented.

“Allan” by Marie White

Unveiling the Dark Layers: Marie White’s Thought-Provoking Portrait of Allan

By Quentin Dupont, Art Critic

In her latest masterpiece, artist Marie White skillfully captures the essence of a man whose manipulative tactics have boomeranged. White’s brushstrokes expertly bring out Allan as an astute legal practitioner, employing the phrase “mommy is a dead duck,” to describe victory over the mother of his children.

Yet the true narrative of this artwork emerges in the backdrop of his divorce and custody dispute with Allan standing on the precipice of losing everything, when all he wanted was for his wife to lose everything, and of him also becoming the dead duck he wanted her to be.

Through her masterful composition, Marie White invites viewers to reflect on the repercussions that arise when we start to dig a grave for others, but fail to dig one for ourselves, and how one’s actions have a way of reverberating back with potent force, ultimately unraveling the very fabric of deceit itself.


About the author

Frank Parlato


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  • HG Tudor on YouTube did a video about this person. He gave his opinion on his letter to Catherine paragraph by paragraph. It is good to see it. He is a narcissist and knows very well this kind of behavior.

  • It was the “Bait and Switch” and it looks like Dimopoulos was the ring leader. Did his colleagues not see what he did?

    Catherine’s email to her husband on December 20, 2021 …

    “… You have sought to cast me as having a mental illness, being a liar and being unfit. You have tried to jail me for contempt and banish me from my Larchmont home.

    You have left me no choice but to clear my name — and the children’s — by showing each of these to be untrue and unwarranted …

    Do you want to keep going down this road — where you vilify me to my community and I defend myself — or are you willing to settle on terms that allow us to both parent our children and move on from this? …

    If even your own girlfriend can’t persuade you that your path is destructive and only benefits Gus and Carol, I don’t know what can. Maybe it will take my doing a Dateline or CNN interview to stop all this. I hope not. …

    I always told you I didn’t want a divorce like this. I didn’t even want a divorce. Please lets not keep being the source of embarrassment and horror for our kids. Let’s not make them explain why they have no mom in their lives. Let’s ensure they have money for college and two parents who love them and want them to be happy and to succeed in a difficult life. Destroying me is not the answer here. …”

  • Do not fret Allen – thanks to the internet and voices like Robbie Harvey on TikTok if you think you lost everything you ain’t seen nothing. My mum and my family was abused for years by a person like you. A narcissistic pathetic egocentric who could not see beyond it’s nose hiding behind it’s money. I’m glad the internet is out to get justice.

  • What a tool. AK is a cash cow for these specialists and attorneys.
    Now he has to pay with three traumatized kids for the rest of his life.

  • It’s heart breaking to watch Allan’s lawyer who made millions destroying Catherine and those poor kids comment. It’s heart breaking to watch Allan’s family and girlfriends family comment here also. They won. They cut her out of her kids lives and destroyed her. She proved unethical behavior and bias across the board in her case and over but to no avail. Justice wasn’t just blind but bought and that is hard to accept. I just wish they would leave her in peace, finally, after all the cruelty she experienced at their hands in life.

  • Did she use the 💰 to buy the 🏡 to support the 👶 👶 👶 he took from her four years ago? 😢 says:

    It could be the email thread that finally broke her. Did he take her home, make her lose her job and then email a veiled threat of having to pay weekly child support payments to him? As an attorney, she must have known courts estimate earning capacity — not actual earning — when calculating child support payments.

    Looks like the threats and the veiled threats weren’t stopping and neither was the cancer.

    Had child support payments not done it, the next move would have probably been relentless lawsuits filed all kinds of ways against her for libel and slander. When one attack doesn’t take good mothers down, many more attacks year after year usually do. Strategies and specific steps taken in so many of these cases are predictable.

    An email to Catherine after four years of 3,000 court filings, hundreds of thousands for “family court” … oh, and cancer:

    “… Fw: Pendente Lite Support …

    … Friday, April 7, 2023, 09:53 AM EDT …

    Sent: Sunday, March 19, 2023, 04:37:30 PM EDT
    Subject: RE: Pendente Lite Support


    Just so we are all on the same page, here is what you “cleared” in just the past 11 months:

    April 2022 – $150,000 interim legal fee award
    April 2022 – $335,000 (1/2 of my xxxxxx account)
    March 2023 – $300,000 interim legal fee award
    2022 – ~$330,000 (9/11 victims fund)

    I will ignore the $100,000 interim legal fee award you got in 2020. And I am not even including your income.

    And you pay ZERO in child support …”

    • I heard that he was trying to claim she should have a BigLaw salary as the calculation for child support paid to him. As if a woman with cancer who was fighting in court to see her children would have time for that sort of work which is 80 hours a week.

      What a sicko.

    • “When one attack doesn’t take good [fathers] down, many more attacks year after year usually do.”

      it is emerging that Catherine was the one attacking, and Allan was defending himself and telling her in this email he wasn’t going to crumble.

    • Anyone reading the complaint Catherine filed Pro Se dated March 14, 2023 can see:

      1. She demanded a jury trial.
      2. She tried her best to stay alive.

      Catherine bought the house to be a mother to her children there, in New York. After such abuse from her husband and Gus, she still had faith that the system would eventually work as it should. She thought eventually, justice would prevail. She wanted to live.

      Law enforcement must investigate the case and prosecute accordingly as soon as possible.

      Crimes continue in family courts because law enforcement allows the corruption and crimes in family courts to continue. “Training the judges” doesn’t work on judges who are happily criminal. Public hearings to inform legislators about the corruption of lawyers and “evaluators” don’t inform legislators who already know about the crimes and corruption Of lawyers and “evaluators”.

      Law enforcement needs to investigate and prosecute. Will they?

        • I’m not blaming law enforcement at all, 6:53 am.

          I hope and trust they will investigate and prosecute to protect families in family courts in New York from now on. What they do with the evidence Catherine gathered could set a much-needed precedent — for the entire the world.

        • Why write that comment, 6:55 am? Isn’t that sort of a thoughtless comment? Sort of unnecessarily provocative? Freedom of speech and all, but if a few of the other comments looking like your comments are your comments, most or all of your comments blame the victims.

        • My dear 6:55 am,

          I was delighted to hear from Triptweeze that your patient has made some very desirable new acquaintances and that you seem to have used this event in a really promising manner.

      • “There is clear evidence that states that the girls were punished for acting in any way positive towards their mother! Time for you to sit down!”

        What clear evidence? A coerced statement from Catherine’s best friends?

    • She already looked exhausted there.

      Someone commenting here wrote something like, “not a divorce, a crime”. That’s so true.

      New York “family courts” did that to Cathy and her family. Connecticut “family courts” did that to Jennifer Dulos and her family. Hundreds of cases in New York. Probably thousands. Hundreds of thousands of cases across America, maybe millions. How many all over the world?

      It was probably a planned demolition of families with “the long march through the institutions” — targeting children and families in schools and “family courts” makes sense to those with certain political goals.

    • “… Allan issued a statement to The Post via his attorney Gus Dimopoulous. It reads, in part:

      ‘At every stage of this four-year 👈 🤔 custody dispute, the court system has acted responsibly and thoroughly. Following a neutral 👈 🤔 forensic evaluator’s assessment, the court ordered an immediate order granting their father sole legal and physical custody. The court also issued an urgent 👈 🤔 order of protection against Ms. Kassenoff eliminating unsupervised interactions with the children based on what they observed when they were with their mother … While it is always difficult limiting a parent’s access to their children, given the circumstances of this case, it was found to be in the best interest 👈 🤔 of the children to take these steps urgently. The children have been in our client’s care for 3 ½ years and they are safe and healthy … ‘ 😐

      “The central trait of sociopathy is a complete lack of conscience, which is very difficult for most people to get their heads around, because those of us who do have a conscience can’t really imagine what it would be like if we didn’t. Most people think that deep down everybody has a conscience, and it turns out that’s just not true.“ — Dr. Martha Stout

      • The writer at The Post should look through the case files, notice the lies in the statement submitted to The Post and write a series of articles about corruption in Westchester County “family courts”.

        • The court transcript are full of lies. The courts continue to engage in conduct that is not in the best interest of the public. Let’s get the truth.

      • Give me a break I live in NYS and our system is not for children. I as a retired educator has seen more corruption then I care to share on here. The videos speak for themselves. This man is unstable and a narcissistic abuser. Those who helped him need to be prosecuted right along with him. Those poor children.

  • Hey …

    Q. Did you know that my client had delivered a copy of the March 27, 2020 Order awarding him sole, legal and physical
    custody and exclusive occupancy of the marital residence to the front desk of the Larchmont Police Department prior to
    March 31st, 2020?

    • How much did Allan pay you to use your connections to destroy Catherine and the kids? I heard 2 to 3 million. Just want to get my facts straight!

    • Hey Gus, the world is coming after you too. It’s just a matter of time before you are disbarred too, you filthy animal. And I love that for you 🥳

    • Oh yeah, the infamous ex parte order for the “good” father who only screams “once in a while” and is just wanting to “protect” his daughters. How much money and influence did that cost?

      • I bet the ruthlessness of evicting her from the marital home during a pandemic came at an additional cost, but how much is too much when you want to win…, I mean “protect” the children.

    • So you and the courts are responsible for this. Probably hid all that incriminating evidence under bullshit motions. Or you and the judge are buddies 🤷‍♀️ we saw your client clear as day acting like the abuser he is.

    • The videos do not lie. He is an abuser and narcissist. You should be prosecuted along with every other official in this case. Shame on you Gus!

  • I learned a new word and was wondering, why the genius called, Raniere, never used it in his Rainbow schools?

  • Janey, I call bullshit on you. Now her lawyers name is Wayne Baker? How many lawyers does it take to get proof their client is dead? Frank, Janay can’t email you the proof because she doesn’t have proof nor her lawyers.

    • Hey cough cough.

      Wayne Baker is Catherine’s executor and friend and yes, a lawyer. People can know more than one lawyer, genius.

    • Moron “cough cough” Wayne Baker is listed as Catherine’s personal attorney in her final FB post. You have no idea what the fuck you are talking about, abuser supporter. I have emails from him & in 4-6 weeks you will eat your words you filthy animal. He lawyer that went to court last week would not put his license on the line if she wasn’t dead. Wait…is this Allan? […]? Con artist […]? At least I state my fucking name & can back up anything I say. You & your ilk are chicken shit hiding behind no names. Just like a typical abuser. Go crawl back under your rock you cockroach.

      • In what way, shape, or form is the lawyer’s license “on the line”? You seem to have a childlike understanding of how the law works. She might really be dead, but as of now, it hasn’t been officially verified. Why is that so hard for you to get through your pea brain?

  • “​ … Raise your awareness around the disturbing roots of the concept of “parental alienation” its impact on the outcomes in custody cases, the financial incentives, and the operation of something called “reunification camps”, which are actively operating in the United States (and, in fact, globally).

    ​— and what we can all do to ensure that child safety is at the forefront of custody decisions. …

    National Safe Parents Organization

    Our special NSPO Meeting is Saturday, June 10 where we’ll be welcoming groups from around the world to discuss our collective global efforts.

    Join the NSPO Advocacy Community to attend this Live Meeting …”

  • I have told you Frank that Catherine’s attorney Wayne Baker has confirmed to me by email well over a week ago that Katherine has passed away. I believe I offered to send you a copy of his email. Why do you keep saying we don’t know if she is dead? I think if she were alive, we would know by now, however, her lawyer has confirmed her passing. Is that not good enough for you? He also says it will take 4 to 6 weeks to get the death certificate. Please stop leaving your readers, wondering if she is alive. It is not good for anybody’s mental health to wonder and hope that she is still here when her own lawyer has confirmed she is gone.
    Thank you

    • I ask you again -please send me some verification – a Facebook post is not proof of death.


        Not sure why anyone is questioning this wonderful woman who is gone

      • All you abusive Allan supporters contact Catherine’s lawyer yourself. I have no way to post pics of the emails he sent me on here. Ask him if Catherine is dead. Then you can go celebrate like you want to. 🖕🏿🖕🏿

        Law Office of Wayne Baker
        14112 Piedras Road, NE
        Albuquerque, NM 87123-2323
        505-652-4222 (office)
        888-308-0987 (fax)

    • Allan is fearful she changed her mind and will continue to fight for justice. Accountability is scary when you do bad things. Hey Allan, maybe don’t do reprehensible things and you won’t need to always look over your shoulder.

  • This is sick & what’s more sickening is that the Frank Report allows this & many false claims to be posted on his site ! I thought you were a journalist who would have done due diligence before jumping in the band wagon to help someone destroy not only her soon to be ex husband but anyone who doesn’t share their views !

    • Remember when Nausbaum didn’t share Frank’s views? He wanted to wrestle 🤔 him. Will Allen now challenge frank report to a thumb match?

    • So proof pudding person, Frank has researched everything in the various posts and all remain factually accurate. I’ve worked in journalism for over 30 years and while there is always a slant, there is nothing here that doesn’t hold up. Sorry for you, you may just need to come to some hard realizations about the “truth” you’ve been fed.

    • What’s not true? Catherine’s Facebook post? Did it not come from her profile? Frank Report has not confirmed her death. Frank Report has reported authentic emails, videos and other communications around this case. Please be specific on what is “false”.

    • “Proof is in the pudding” Abuser Allan did a great job destroying himself. No one else is to blame. They are already divorced, moron. Obviously, you know nothing about the case and are just spewing bullshit because you’re probably a father’s rights asshole who wants to jump in and stir up trouble.

  • This email show me Allan is the one who cares for his kids. Thank god he got them. She is better off dead. Now the kids are free. Allan we support you. Lots of people know you did what was right.

    I think a lot of people think Catherine glad you died.

    • Nope. Not even close! It’s complete projection of a narcissist. His own company has erased him because this is just the tip of the iceberg.

      All the court actors will be exposed. Allen wasted his money – thought Catherine would be eliminated and he’d be the victim who became a hero to protect his kids.

      Same playbook in all of these bs parental alienation cases.

      Executed powerfully by the financier of these criminal conspiracies.

  • Love Marie Whites work – the three tulips symbolic of the daughters who rise to support their mom even in death- and who will grow and thrive despite the evil and chaotic world Allen visited upon them. Because truth and love matter- and kids know love and sense evil.

  • Projection projection projection!
    The words of a true psychopath.

    Animals like Allen have this down to s science and they lie so effortlessly; it’s disgusting.

    Psychopaths like Allen actually reverse the roles- Allen steals all of Catherine’s great qualities and claims them for himself – and then projects all that he is and all that he does, onto Catherine.

    Protective, loving, honest mothers are painted with the brush of a psychopath. They are are the ones who are full of rage and hate and seek vengeance; not the other way around.

    Allen is exposed. His words and lies will be used to demonstrate the abuse and tragedy of DARVO which is used by sociopaths with money to dominate family court.

    • No. Catherine wanted her girls safe and protected. With all Allen spins you’ll see there’s zero evidence of Catherine maligning Allen. It’s conjecture by the court appointed guns hired and paid for by Allen.

      • anon, 11:19. I’m team Catherine, but come on. She maligned him everywhere. She made a job of it. That gives me pause, I have to admit. They seemed to have both lost sight of what was best for their children. I don’t know who started it, but family court was more than happy to play along and that is the travesty here.

        • 5:28,

          You’re “team Catherine, but come on.”? 🤔

          “She maligned him everywhere. She made a job of it.”? 🤔

          Does it give you pause to admit Gus’ client delivered a copy of the March 27, 2020 Order awarding him sole, legal and physical custody and exclusive occupancy of the marital residence to the local police department? 🤔

          You seem to lost sight of what actually happened.

          No one knows who “started it” an almost everyone here already knows the family court didn’t just “play along”. Almost everyone here already knows family court is to blame for 100% of what happened to that family.

          That’s the actual travesty and it’s been the actual travesty about “family courts” for 40 years.

          • 11:51 here. Yes, of course it gives me pause to know Allan did that. He used the court system to decimate her. But let’s be honest and admit she was trying to decimate him right back. Fine. She wasn’t mother Theresa. That’s not the standard for parenting.

            As I said, I view family court and the players in it as the ultimate problem here. It gives people who want to exact revenge on each other a long leash to do so, as long as everybody is making money along the way, no matter the children in the middle. That’s the issue.

          • This feels like a slimy conversation. Allan “delivered a copy of the March 27, 2020 Order awarding him sole, legal and physical custody and exclusive occupancy of the marital residence to the local police department — after he and his attorney arranged to take Catherines three children from her. That’s a bad thing to do.

            It should give you pause to know he used the court system to decimate her.

            … But “let’s be honest and admit she was trying to decimate him right back”?

            This isn’t a tennis match. This isn’t about “a custody battle” with “he said she said”. It’s not about standards for parenting.

            The case was scorched-earth tactics Catherine’s husband and “Hired Gun” Gus used like sociopaths to take her children from her.

            Fraud upon the court; wire fraud; extortion; medical malpractice; and, legal malpractice aren’t supposed to be allowed in family courts.

            It’s a good thing you view family court and the players in it as the ultimate problem. You’re eyesight is 20/20 about that. However, exacting revenge and long leashes aren’t the issues in the case.

            The issues are: The crimes the family court players committed.

            When someone gaslights someone, we don’t blame the victim for being gaslit. Family court players making money along the way is a secondary concern when those family court players committed crimes to take Catherine’s children from her.

            Those children weren’t in the middle. They were front and center. On stage. On the chessboard. Taking flak after Westchester County “family court” removed Catherine from their lives and then punished Catherine for the next few years, preventing her from protecting them.

            What happened since then? Watch and listen to the video from the skating rink Catherine filmed on March 18th, 2023. The father of her children told her, “Your children don’t want you here, Catherine.” He took those young children from their mother a few years ago and now they hate her? How did that happen? 🤔

            Westchester County family courts enabled him and the case is an abomination.

        • Catherine was not “maligning” anyone when she bravely spoke up to report sexual harassment, conflicts of interest in the judicial system and abusive behavior. These actions are needed to secure a safe outcome for children. It’s just when you speak up for the truth, you unleash a war. It shouldn’t be like that, but it is. Allan’s letter is Delusional and demonic. He is the very one that is the threat to his children yet he positions himself as a God that will save them. Delusional.

          • Malinging is a good word. Brave? Hiding behind a camera tormenting a human with an audience of three innocent children is disgusting behavior. In her emails she writes about Allan taking pictures of her in her underwear. Funny thing is Allan so desperately asked her to put her clothes on in the video.
            Marie please paint a 🍑 in one of your paintings as a hello to this fruity commenter and a pilgrim flying off to Bangkok

    • No, Catherine wanted to eviscerate the devilish unjust assault against her character which cost her her children.

      • I pray for the 3 children! I hope one or more of them has very strong character and can lead them out of this tragic situation, toward healing and wholeness. For Katherine, may her children bless her memory and forgive her for leaving them.

        Watching Allan Kassenoff in action with wife and kids, he hated her because she was on to his rage and sociopathy, narcissism, and was trying to protect her family. He deserves to know some of the pain he visited on mother and children.

        As for the family court system, nothing but disdain for the soulless people in operation there. Keep your family out of court systems! Young women, careful whom you marry! Watch out for lawyers, sociopaths.

  • I’m telling my friend about this story and she says someone could have killed Catherine Kassenoff and posted the suicide note on Facebook. Miss White captures this story in a uniquely acute manner. Everything, except Allen’s one sock on, is pretty funny. Great work Mr. Parlato.

    • @Peaches — that is what I have been posting here. Catherine could be in danger from herself or others. It is foolish to assume she really is gone. Needs to be confirmed.

  • Marie White needs to paint Catherine as the wicked witch. The woman is pure evil. Allan seems like a protective and loving father who Catherine abused and she videotaped his suffering with glee. The woman is a monster.

    • Please refer to thewitch trials in New England. History is repeating itself. In family court systems everywhere. Parental alienation is the modern day witch hunt.

    • Any evidence of the pure evil?

      So evil the three girls cried and pleaded to be with their mother only to be threatened and silenced by Most and the court appointed thugs?

      Why did no one report Catherine to dcf/CPS if she was such a danger to the children?

      Psychologists and therapists are mandated reporters. No one reported any allegation of abuse against Catherine. They should all lose their licenses if they insist on a no contact order with a healthy parent. They can’t have it both ways.

      If a parent is dangerous and needs supervision that has to be determined by CPS/dcf. There is no interest by the state. It’s the same in all the cases.

      Or they try to coerce CPS/dcf into finding the mother at daily long after the children were kidnapped by family court.

  • I read his email and think “project much”. He is accusing her of the exact things he is doing. Poor Catherine. What a hellish life she had to lead. May she rest in peace and may Allan get what he deserves for his misdeeds. I hope the girls grow up to be independent women who have lives free of this misery.

    Did you get what you wanted Allan? Do you sleep good at night? Is winning at any cost worth the destruction? Do you have a soul?

    • Did you ever think that katherine is accusing Allan of the exact things that she is doing??? Thank God the court was able to see through her conniving bullshit.

      • Did you ever think that you accusing Catherine of accusing Allan is the exact thing you are doing?

  • Allan Kassenoff appears to be talking about the abuse Allan Kassenoff inflicted on Catherine Kassenoff DAVRO.

    DARVO (an acronym for “deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender”) is a reaction that perpetrators of wrongdoing, such as sexual offenders may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior.[1] Some researchers indicate that it is a common manipulation strategy of psychological abusers.[2][3][4]

    As the acronym suggests, the common steps involved are:

    The abuser denies the abuse ever took place
    When confronted with evidence, the abuser then attacks the person that was abused (and/or the person’s family and/or friends) for attempting to hold the abuser accountable for their actions, and finally
    The abuser claims that they are actually the victim in the situation, thus reversing the positions of victim and offender.[2][4] It often involves not just playing the victim but also victim blaming.[3]

    • Oh …, you do know what happened to Catherine will also happen to you one day. Make sure you are prepared and not caught by surprise.

  • Did she “financially decimate” him and the children? Was her goal to destroy him or to reclaim the children he took from her? Did she sue him (and Gus) three times because they took her children from her?

    Did she try to get him disbarred and fired because he took her children from her? Did she report him (repeatedly) to the police and District Attorney’s office because he took her children from her? Did she ridicule and attack him because he took her children from her and because he was unfaithful in “an open marriage”?

    After he took her children from her, what was she supposed to do for those three (?) years?

    What prompted him to write that email on March 19, 2023? Why did he defend his actions by blaming her for everything the week before she wrote: “This is a story that ends with my own assisted death in Switzerland. Its lead up has been published for years on Facebook, in Ms. magazine and in other media. The New York Court system is responsible for this outcome and should be held accountable for ruining the lives of my children, me, and so many other similarly-situated protective parents (mostly mothers) who have tried to stand up against abuse but were labeled ‘liars,’ ‘mentally ill’ and then treated like criminals.”

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” Parlato was also credited in the Starz docuseries "Seduced" for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Additionally, Parlato’s coverage of the group OneTaste, starting in 2018, helped spark an FBI investigation, which led to indictments of two of its leaders in 2023.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premiered on May 22, 2022. Most recently, he consulted and appeared on Tubi's "Branded and Brainwashed: Inside NXIVM," which aired January, 2023.

IMDb — Frank Parlato

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