Tabby Chapman’s Full Statement on Allison Mack – ‘Hope You Reclaim the Life You Lost’

Tabby and Allison

There were two women at the sentencing of Allison Mack to speak as victims of Mack.

One was Jessica Joan, who appeared in person, and the other was Tabitha Chapman, who appeared on video.

Tabitha is not shy about discussing her role in NXIVM and is unafraid to reveal her true name – first and last. She appeared in the docuseries “Seduced” and on the Albany Times Union podcast “NXIVM on Trial”.

Tabitha Chapman was a coach at NXIVM, and on the day of Mack’s sentencing, June 30, 2021, she tweeted, “I feel like I am waiting for the dice to stop spinning to know Allison Mack’s sentencing today. ‘Come on! Come on! Come on!'”

On her video, played at the sentencing, Chapman said Mack contacted her about doing web design work and running her personal website – and that Mack insisted she take NXIVM courses if she wanted to work for her. She ended up moving to Albany and working without pay in exchange for NXIVM courses.

Chapman spoke harshly about Mack, saying she verbally and emotionally abused her, criticizing her for her weight and publicly humiliating her. Mack was sentenced to three years and is serving her sentence at FCI Dublin.

Tabitha Chapman

Tabitha spoke for perhaps 10 minutes on the video. Up until she released it a few days ago, no one had seen her complete statement. The following is the transcript of the Victim Impact Statement submitted to the courts by Chapman for Allison Mack’s sentencing on June 30, 2021.

Your Honor,

Allison contacted me in 2006 and asked me to collaborate with her on an official website. We met in Vancouver, where she immediately introduced me to NXIVM. Allison indicated that I could not work with her unless I took the NXIVM courses, because she wanted an “ethical team.” She said she only wanted to work with people who had the same ethical principles that she had.

She also understood I could not afford the curriculum and offered to provide an “exchange of value” whereby she would pay for the intensive and I would work for her for free to pay her back. She promised ESP could help me resolve my life-long feeling of loneliness. I knew I wanted to work for her, and the thought of not feeling lonely any longer was appealing, so I agreed. I took a NXIVM intensive in Los Angeles in 2007 and I worked for her for free for several months to pay off this intensive.

Allison Mack

I moved to Vancouver in March 2008 to continue working directly with her. I joined the Vancouver Ethos community there and was lured to Albany with the promise of work and being part of an acapella group there.

Allison projected being at peace, which in turn made me let my guard down and accept cruel and punishing feedback as something that would make me a better person. I was convinced I would grow faster in Albany, so I moved there in November 2008. I continued working with Allison and others on various projects for ESP companies. I also continued to take intensives and to work as an unpaid apprentice coach.

Once I moved to Albany, I was subjected to cruelty beyond my imagination. Nancy and Allison constantly criticized me. The leaders of both my work and of the stripe path often assigned me to write up reports which analyzed how my mistakes affected me, the ESP community, and the entire world. As Allison became more involved with Keith Raniere, Nancy Salzman, and other high-ranking officials within the organization, Allison became a bully.

 

The six NXIVM defendants, Upper Row: Kathy Russell, Keith Raniere, and Nancy Salzman. Lower Row: Allison Mack, Lauren Salzman, and Clare Bronfman.

My relationship with her evolved from me managing her online image, to her managing my internal image. She often used demeaning words to describe me and told me that without NXIVM, I would have no value. Allison criticized everything about me, from my inability to be an adequate friend, my weight, my finances, and my future with my partner, and told me that I would ruin my future children if I did not fix the defects in my personality. If I resisted this feedback or refused to take more curriculum, Allison would EM me and conclude that I did not truly love myself enough to work on my issues.

 

MK10 Art’s lovely painting of the two grifters, Keith Raniere and Nancy Salzman.

I was often publicly shamed and humiliated, and I became convinced that I was broken and needed a lot of training to become a better person. Most of my training was paid for on “exchange,” as I worked in the tech department. These exchanges were often labeled as “scholarships” within the organization’s database. The leaders of the group identified areas in which I needed growth in order to get a promotion, identified training for me to take, required me to work in advance to build up exchange credit, and then required me to take the course. This cycle went on for years, causing me to lose thousands and thousands of dollars of income. And the feedback never really stopped.

NXIVM American Greed Episode Allison Mack Lauren Salzman Master Slave Group

I left Albany after I was approached by Clare Bronfman to help her get an NXIVM enemy arrested for harassing me. I moved to California and continued to have frequent interactions with Allison. I was also hosting Allison’s website. Allison would assign me tasks that were impossible for me to do and then become angry with me for not finding a way to do them. One instance of this is when I was organizing a JNESS weekend workshop. She told me to purchase a plane ticket for the trainer. Allison knew I could not afford it and when I refused, she became angry and told me to use her card to make the purchase.

MK10Art: keith raniere and Allison Mack.

These angry outbursts were unnecessary and unjustified. Later, during the JNESS training, she and the head trainer spent hours humiliating me in front of others about all of my failures as a member of Jness and NXIVM, and giving me ultimatums on how to behave. I left NXIVM in 2014, shortly thereafter. I have been in professional psychological therapy since 2012 due to the damage caused by Allison and the NXIVM/ESP organization as a whole.

By the time I ended my ongoing relationship with NXIVM and with Allison, I had little understanding of reality. I spoke a language that most people outside of NXIVM couldn’t understand. I continue to be triggered whenever I have to accept any type of feedback, even if it is positive and helpful.

I had a difficult time retaining or making new friends because I was not able to form deep connections; my ability to trust was eroded. Even after Allison and other members of NXIVM were done tearing me down, my own internal dialogue regarding my flaws, real or imagined, continued for years and only intensive therapy and a master’s in psychology have enabled me to begin the process of fixing this.

Through my healing journey, I now look back at my experiences and see that Allison’s role as Master in DOS was almost natural, as Keith had trained her to shed any feelings of concern and doubt and to fully trust him, while he inflicted pain on her and others.

Your honor, I know I was not the only victim of Allison’s. She has caused a great deal of pain for many people. I trust that you will make the right decision for her future. I wish to leave you with the picture of Allison as a person who started her journey with NXIVM as a diamond in the rough, seeking to perfect her shine. But Keith Raniere’s plan was to create coal. I have faith that, with much support and help, Allison can turn this around and sculpt her own facets and shape her own life, without the help of a guru or grand master.


Allison,

In one form or another, you have been involved in my life for 15 years. At times, you have felt like a younger sister I have wanted to protect, and at other times, someone from whom I have needed protection. You have provided care and compassion in some of the most tragic moments in my middle twenties and yet I have felt the sting of your quills on other occasions when I was vulnerable and exposed.

I will never forget the feeling I had the first time I received an email from you with the subject line “hey! it’s Allison Mack”. At first, I thought it was a strange prank that someone had obviously played on me. I did not believe it was you at all at first. I had very low self-esteem, and I did not understand why anyone would want to reach out to me and talk to me, especially not a celebrity. But you did! You not only reached out, but you wanted to partner up on your website and I was confused and had no idea what value I could bring to you.

I have experienced a lifetime of trauma from a young age, but my dreams have frequently featured you. In some of these dreams, I am running from you, terrified of what you may say to me again that brought so much pain in the past. And in others, I am running toward you, ready to feel a sense of sisterhood and comfort. This pattern of push and pull or wax and wane is the exact paradox that I have experienced.

Throughout the years, I kept imagining myself in your shoes, facing the same fate that you are facing to try to understand how you could be feeling. I frequently became overwhelmed with anxiety and grief. It is a good thing that I have my family, my twin sons, and my partner to keep me focused. I am heartbroken for you, and I am heartbroken for all of the women that trusted you and were harmed. This is an incredibly unpredictable and scary time, and yet, it is something that just has to be done; whatever the sentence may be.

You are one of the few people who has shown me compassion when life got rough. You ensured that I had a car to drive when I was suddenly alone and without transportation. When I found my relationship with my ex-wife had ended suddenly, you were there to talk me through it. When I had surgery, you and your mother brought me flowers, or when you randomly dropped by a coffee shop where I was working and dropped off a bouquet of flowers, kissed my cheek, and left as quickly as you arrived. Helping others feel loved is the gift you have. I have many good memories, and yet, I have been scarred by you as well.

I cannot forget the moment you told me I would ruin my future children, or the moment that you told me I could not be a good friend to you. I cannot forget the moment you told me I was hovering and ruining a sales pitch, or that I had caused chaos. I cannot forget the moment you told me that being raped came with a choice to either suffer during it or to choose happiness and joy. I can never forget the day, Allison, that you and Esther ganged up on me for nearly an entire day, berating me for my mere existence on earth in front of other women at the Jness Retreat I had organized. There are so many darker moments that I could list, but I do not think I need to.

I have attended therapy for a decade now, ranging between every 1-2 weeks. Much of my therapy has been devoted to my time in NXIVM and my interactions with you. I’ve gone on to get my master’s degree in psychology, retraining my brain to understand real psychology and help people legitimately, without the pain that NXIVM caused. I hope you are able to also find the healing you need as you start this new chapter in your life.

I leave you with a wish for a swift recovery and hope that you will be able to reclaim some part of your life that has been lost.

 

 

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  • It’s a bit like the statement of a “professional” sufferer to me. Every day, people experience similar problems and stay alive.

    They raise a child, they go to work. They struggle to make a living, their place in the world. And they survive without a show, blogs, podcasts. No one raises them on the piadesta because they are one of many. People, mothers, men, women, simple normal people who fight with their demons but don’t project on poor Allison as on-duty scapegoat. (I add, not innocent) but you can’t take everything on your shoulders.

  • Tabby,

    It’s sad to read your letter to Allison. Heartbreaking as it is to hear all that you’ve suffered through; it’s equally as gratifying to see that you’re healing and coming from a place of forgiveness.

    Allison took your admiration and twisted it in the most cruel ways, in order to exact shame and self loathing. She was using you as a punching bag it seems; clearly she was not happy with herself and most likely projected her own shame onto you.

    I hope you are able to find happiness and contentment. I hope you don’t have her hateful words lingering in your mind anymore.

  • Watch this Amway video and you will see how creepy Keith Raniere got his roots in Multi Level Marketing.
    It even features a creepy mime.

    Amway Business Kit Products Phase 2 VHS • 60 FPS 1994

  • A story about Mr. Magoo, aka Jim Backus, and a clue how Jim Backus became rich.

    ‘Gilligan’s Island’: Jim Backus Would Often Ask Castmates to Lunch, Bail on Check

    It’s a basic rule of economics: If you want to stay rich, spend other people’s money. But it seems that Jim Backus, who played the wealthy Thurston Howell III on Gilligan’s Island, took that axiom a bit too far.

    Dawn Wells, who played Mary Ann on the show, told Esquire magazine in 2013 that the actor would often invite her and other castmates out for lunch. But he’d conveniently always forget his wallet.

    “I knew the least was Jim Backus [Thurston Howell],” Wells said of the Gilligan’s Island cast. “But I can tell you this: He was a skinflint! He would always ask Natalie, who played Mrs. Howell, and I out to lunch. “Let me take you girls out to lunch.” We’d go to lunch and he’d say, “Oh, I don’t have my credit card.” Somehow we’d always pick it up. At the end of the year, Natalie said, “Jim, here’s a bill for taking us to lunch all year.’”
    https://outsider.com/entertainment/gilligans-island-jim-backus-would-often-ask-castmates-lunch-bail-check/

  • “Allison,

    In one form or another, you have been involved in my life for 15 years” Tabby

    Tabby:
    It is time to get on with your life and leave Allison Mack and NXIVM behind.

  • Tabby is a fine, admirable, forgiving person. She has endured a lot and triumphed.

    I think I may remember her from the Smallville online fandom days. She was an Allison Mack super fan, and unfortunately, it seems Mack took advantage of that. I find this despicable on Mack’s part.

    And while I understand Tabby’s generous best wishes and forgiveness toward Mack, I disagree with it.

    As far as I’m concerned, turning the other cheek is for people who want to get slapped again.

    I don’t believe for a minute that Mack has changed or will change. She has a mean streak a mile wide, and neither her association with Raniere nor her stint in prison is likely to have improved her innate viciousness.

    Sorry, but I judge people by their actions. Mack took advantage of Tabby before Nxivm. Taking advantage of and manipulating people is Mack’s character. As is her selfishness and lack of ethics.

    No wonder she was so smitten by Raniere, they have so much in common. As Jessica Joan stated in her victim impact statement at Mack’s sentencing, Mack and Raniere are cut from the same cloth.

    Here are some more of Jessica’s observations:

    “Allison Mack is a predator and an evil human being, a danger to society with no care, remorse or empathy for her victims.”

    “Allison Mack and Keith Raniere are the most evil monsters I’ve ever met.”

    “…she would tell me how she’d always be there to look after and protect me. Allison knew all the right things to say in order to lure me in.”

    “…from the very beginning she was probing into my psyche learning what made me tick, what drove me and also my deepest vulnerabilities.”

    “Allison is very clear and calculated in the moves she makes… the whole time she had been playing me and, worst of all, grooming me into becoming a sex slave for her beloved Keith Raniere.”

    “Allison maliciously gave me, a survivor of rape and sexual assault, a special assignment, an honor and privilege to seduce Keith and have him take a naked picture of me to prove I did it. And when I pushed back confused, I asked if Keith knew about the Vow. She blatantly lied and said that doing this assignment would get rid of all my issues around being sexually abused.
    “This demon of a woman literally tried to use my pain, suffering and traumas against me to be abused by another monster.”

    “She plays the victim so well. She can blame Keith all she wants but she is a monster cut from the same cloth.”

    “The fact of the matter is she gained much pleasure out of other people’s pain, myself included. I saw the evil glimmer in her eyes and the sick sadistic smile on her face whenever she would punish us.”

    “Allison Mack is an evil sociopath, a menace to society and a danger to innocent beings. She may put on a good show but don’t let her fool you. “

    Two monsters, cut from the same cloth. Both happily engaged in a blackmail, slavery and branding scheme. Branding women on their nethers with their initials together KR / AM. Together.

    Mack is no more deserving of forgiveness and best wishes than is her partner Raniere.

  • Tabby is a rock star. A voice of decency. She provided us with a conclusion to the saga of Allison Mack. Part 1 at least. There may be a comeback for Mack and who knows Tabby might even be part of it. Who knows?

    • I see you. Presenting a false equivalency comparing Sarah Edmundson and India Oxenberg to Amber Heard is so out of bounds- and I know why you’re doing it. To confuse the issue. I’ve interacted with the NXIVM survivors, and they are all authentic human beings.

      I see no signs of Amber’s personality disorder diagnoses. Stop doing this. Win on the merits of your argument- not memes that confuse apples with oranges.

  • That whole indentured servant schtick Nxivm pulled is INSANE. What did it really cost them to have another person in the already scheduled training? Nothing. So evil. And illegal.

    Congrats on getting out.

  • Aww! Lovely letter! Thanks for sharing. I hope Alison sees it and makes note of your kindness to her. It was heartwarming to read. If I were Alison, I’d be touched. It’s a very nice letter.

    But more than that? Congratulations on getting your masters degree!!! Must feel pretty satisfying to pay for your own damn courses at an accredited institution with rigorously qualified teachers, hey?

    Also, with this kind of education you’ll have so many opportunities available to you! I hope you’re already seeing that the world is full of amazing people who will treat you well all and not just some of the time.

    PS: Fuck what alison mack said about you fucking up your kids. If you have twins I bet you’re an amazing mom! You’ve had to go double time, LOL! I have no doubt that one day when their brains have fully matured that they are going to feel very proud of you, actually. You’re a classy lady, Tabitha.

    • It does! And now I’m in a phd program for forensic psychology, public policy and law, concentrating on victimology. I want to provide as much support to cult victims and survivors as possible.

  • Tabby didn’t mention whether her involvement in GBD with Mack, Kreuk and Voth also was abusive or if GBD was a nefarious organization that she was forced to work for.

    • Those aren’t relevent to the letter, as Mack was not involved with GBD. Kreuk and Voth were the a couple of the best bosses I’ve ever had. They were a light in the darkness for me, always.

      • I thought Mack was one of GBD’s creators with Kreuk, then Kieth assigned her to something else?
        But I’m glad GBD was good for you.

        • No, it was just Kreuk and Voth. And Kreuk had mentioned wanting to start a magazine for teen girls back in an old interview long before she joined NXIVM.

          You guys are trying really hard to get dirt on her, and it’s pathetic.

          • In Frank’s interview with Jane she said that Allison Mack was taken off Girls By Design shortly after it began [because it was doing poorly online] by Keith Raniere to start another online project called “Gone in Saigon” which was about past lives.

            (Frank could not be sure she was truthful)

          • Frank has no inside info on GbD. He’s currently supporting these NXIVM deadenders for money and his beef with the FBI. This site isn’t some completely factual, investigative journalistic site. It has some truth in it, but it’s also laden in innuendo and hearsay, speculation, and is a blog for his agenda and his views.

      • With all due respect to Tabby for her fight to recover from the abuse of NXIVM, she has said that Girls By Design was not a Vanguard or Salzman project and that working there was “a light in the darkness for me, always.”

        But how does she explain such gbd articles about the New Orleans Brothel Madam or Sexy Seven which were outrageously inappropriate for teen girls?
        Who chose these articles?
        What did Tabby and her “best bosses” think girls should learn from them?

  • I do hope that Allison recovers the life that she lost. I also hope her victims do the same.

  • “‘Hope You Reclaim the Life You Lost’” Tabby Chapman.

    Allison Mack did not just lose her life.
    She punted it away.

    Let’s hope she never gets a chance to hurt anyone else again.

  • What a bunch of trashy people NXIVM created.

    Being nasty and diminishing towards someone denigrates their self-esteem, which further perpetuates the cycle of “needing” these bullshit courses, which was the reason many decided to take them in the first place.

    In other words, intent to help was secondary and may not even existed, as opposed to intent to hook and milk which speaks for itself in Tabby’s story.

    Keith Raniere, Nancy Salzman, et al, are where they deserves to be.

    “Humanitarians”, my ass.

  • That’s a very nuanced view to be able to take – recognition of the ways Allison was hurtful to her and others, but also recognizing that she didn’t start out that way and having compassion on her for what Raniere did to twist her into hurting others, and hoping she can also one day escape it. Not many could recognize and state that so clearly.

    Many have fallen into the trap of either being very punitive and harsh towards Allison, or else excusing away all that she did.

  • I’m very proud of Tabby for how she has come to understand all this, helped to bring justice to prevent the abuse of others, and has become a beacon of hope and strength. Well done you Tabby. You’re a hero to me.

  • “By the time I ended my ongoing relationship with NXIVM and with Allison, I had little understanding of reality. I spoke a language that most people outside of NXIVM couldn’t understand.” THIS!

    Cults deliberately take words and change their meaning so only other cult members understand the insanity they are speaking. Good for you for working so hard to get your life back on track and to undue the damage Allison and NXIVM did to you.

    I am especially appalled that Allison was being so cruel to you during the Jness meetings which was supposed to be a group of women supporting each other. That is beyond twisted and I’m glad you got away from such monstrous behavior.

    I am ashamed that I was ever her fan and I have to wonder if Allison was ever a good person or was just acting like one.

    • ” I spoke a language that most people outside of NXIVM couldn’t understand”

      Lena, I also was struck by Tabby’s statement. Almost Orwellian in that language is a tool used by the Leader to control the members.

      Also, didn’t Jness teach women that, as a group, women weren’t the equal to men and should be submissive to their wishes and commands?

  • Tabby-

    You’re a good person. Screw the haters.

    I truly wish you much luck and joy in life.

    Take care!

Frank Parlato

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” In addition, he was credited in the Starz docuseries 'Seduced' for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premieres on May 22, 2022.

IMDb — Frank Parlato

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Parlato,_Jr.

Contact Frank with tips or for help.
Phone / Text: (305) 783-7083
Email: frankparlato@gmail.com

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