Teri Lucille ‘Yaki’ Cahoon lives in South Windsor, Connecticut. She is a chaplain for “Protective Parents” and “Erased Moms” and is a victim of the family court system. Teri told her story when speaking about coercive control in support of the passage of Jennifer’s Law, a Connecticut law that expands the definition of domestic violence to include “coercive control.”
While living in Virginia, Teri married a woman and for several years they discussed having a family. They agreed their marriage must be permanent if they were ever to take responsibility for raising children. They agreed that young children need a parent at home and that Teri would be the primary caregiver, while her wife worked. They discussed how the children would be educated, and agreed that their children must always have a two parent home. These were discussed time and again through the years. In Teri’s mind, these were intense agreements made before starting a family.
They adopted two sons in 2013. The intense discussion was reaffirmed again before Teri agreed to be inseminated. She became the biological mother of a daughter in 2014.
Teri stayed at home taking care of the children. She wanted to get a college degree. Her wife, who controlled the income, refused while she in turn paid off loans for her master’s degree, obtained a second master’s degree, and started on a third.
Then came the sexual and personal degradation; disapproval of Teri’s domestic talent, criticism of her culture, intelligence, and religion. When Teri defied her, her wife mocked any attempts she might take to protect her children in a court of law, saying she would win everything if Teri tried. She was right.
By 2016, Teri was thrown out of their house in Virginia and denied contact with her children. She experienced the same plight that stay at home mothers often experience. The working spouse controls the money and money drives family court. Teri went into debt for $50,000 – hardly enough to fight a fight in lawyer-rapacious family court, if the conflict is high – an amount easily consumable by lawyers gobbling away at $300-$500 per hour, hours they monitor themselves.
Her wife sold the house and moved to Connecticut which gave another disadvantage to Teri, the claim of spousal abandonment. Teri moved to CT in September 2019. She sought an attorney to get help, and she learned that physical abuse went on by her wife against her daughter; it escalated to sexual abuse allegations, confirmed in 2019 by CT Dept. of Family Services.
But the money was against her and money alone drives the vicious lawyers, and especially the children’s plunderers – the guardians-ad-litem, the scourge of the whole earth. Teri was unable to raise enough money to fight the fight to redeem her seven year old daughter out of an environment of plain and notorious abuse.
It’s the old story. Down here in Connecticut all the lawyers know. No contact for the poorer parent. Teri has been denied contact with her children, including her biological daughter, for two and one half years.
Your article Connecticut Family Court Hands Children to Stepmother Instead of Real Mother When Millionaire Father Dies was fantastic and highlights many of the challenges law-abiding parents face in this country. You truly encouraged many parents who are struggling after judicial abuse; it blew up several closed Facebook groups that I’m a part of.
The story you featured represents thousands across the nation, and I am one of them. It took three traumatizing years to build a meager life after being thrown out of my home; it took only a moment for the court to sanction the move of all three children seven hours away from their mother. There was no testimony, no witness, no evidence.
I never knew this happens in the land of the free and the home of the brave to law-abiding citizens, full-time parents, even military veterans. I am all of these and add that I am LGBTQ+ “married” before the Supreme Court ruling. I still have the birth certificate showing me as the only parent of my biological daughter. You can’t believe it, ‘till it happens to you.
Hey, Very informative article. I`ve learned a lot from it. Seems like I read something like this on https://www.nytimes.com
Clarification:
I was not married in Virginia but the previous state of residence where the house was sold out from under us necessitating the move to VA where I was kicked out 2 months later after many years of full-time parenting.
The confirmed abuse against my daughter was under the supervision of the other parent but not directly by her.
I do have contact with my children. I am grateful that I have limited time with them despite the trend of the broken-family courtporation refusing all access to the safe environment of the full-time parent. This is why I advocate for abolishing the abusive systems tax dollars pay for and educating Americans about this weapon of mass destruction we call marriage and family court.
Thank you Frank for giving parents a platform to share stories, cooperate, discuss, and plan the next social justice revolution.
The most important thing is to remain strong and not let légal abusé alter the Spirit. One day there will be reunification and it is imperative that the parent is solid and strong of mind. Our children have our DNA . The bond is inexplicable. And any brainwashing or mind control perpetrated by the abuser will be reversed when the children see the miracle of your strength and yes, joy , even in the face of adversity. Look at the Dali Lama. He watched his entire country raped, tortured and murdered , yet he understood that the human condition is very complicated and can only truly be evolved through profound self discovery and deep compassion for others. In fact the answer was simple : Love is the answer. Stay strong with your convictions and remain protective , but do not ever allow anyone to ever steal your joy. Be the hero you are looking for and you shall become it 🙏
[…] Not sure point of the article LGBT Horror Story for Stay-at-Home Mom in Connecticut Family Court […]
Here’s the truth boys!
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Not sure point of this article. What is being described is pretty typical of a divorce involving children. If you take the “LGBT” part out of this story and replace the Teri parts with “Dad”, there are a ton of Dads out there that could relate to the exact same story as Teri. It’s not new and it’s not unique. Neither is moving to another state, which is a tried and true tactic to keep one parent out of the equation.
Usually decide primary custody by along 3 primary factors (assuming safety isn’t really an issue) – mom then dad, biology over not (by this say mom vs foster parent), and money. Most of the time they split custody but when they don’t it’s usually the mom chosen over the dad, biological parent chosen over not, and if those factors don’t decide it, then who makes the most money. Money matters because money gives many advantages for the welfare of the child that often mitigates all other factors. If one parent, like here, is broke and the other has a ton of money (I assume because 3 degrees), then money means better education, better opportunity, safer neighborhood, better access to opportunities to do new things like a variety of sports, activities, friends and more.
In this case, it’s mom vs mom, so that factor is out. Technically, Teri is the biological mother but because LBQT, it’s kind of irrelevant here but her lawyer could try to hammer it more but have to tread carefully because also making an argument on why the biological father also deserves to get custody if he ever chose to fight for it. That leaves money and in this case, there is a clear winner and so the court decided accordingly. The moving away was just an extra “F@#$ you” that courts rarely prevent.
Custody cases are always ugly, usually unfair to someone, and almost always will be there is a sad story where one or both sides think an injustice was done. It’s probably a rare day when the choice is good and just and even in those cases likely one parent has essentially checked out entirely so even then the children are effectively losing a parent.
Your thinking “but safety of the child!” in this particular case with the allegation of sexual abuse. This is where get into the realm of what I call “ex-shit” where fact from fiction becomes difficult to distinguish. Could there be abuse? Maybe. Could there also just be a desperate parent exaggerating a story in an effort to get custody? Maybe. Ex-shit is weird because emotions are hyper elevated due to hate usually replacing love and that means everything gets extra meaning. That arm grab from 2 years ago that was nothing at the time or after is now suddenly a sign of physical abuse. That loud argument that went on for an hour four years ago? Now, it’s an example of emotional abuse. That spanking a parent gave to a child, well that sounds like BDSM to me, we sure there isn’t sexual abuse going on?
Not saying that abuse has not occurred in this case, just saying that when it’s “ex-shit” tread very carefully as it’s hard to distinguish factual truth from emotional truth. Just be grateful that isn’t your regular job like it is for some people and let the professionals figure it out.
So back to what is the point of this article? Frank going to start posting the mountain of Dad stories that are likely nearly identical to this one? If posted as a warning for stay-at-home moms and dads, it’s a good one. Due to “but I love…” people don’t think to do that but with a divorce rate going past 50%, the legalese of marriage matter more than ever. Its something that sadly people don’t think about, our pop culture and education system don’t teach, and people like to ignore. It’s up there with “I do not want to talk about my death arrangement” but much like that, it really should be part of your life plan. Planning for a scenario you hope will not happen does not make it happen (superstitious nonsense). Just means you are prepared if it does.
Verbal on emotions of the heart and family like this one doesn’t mean a thing legally as “verbally binding” doesn’t really apply. Make sure whatever agreement come up with is in writing and there is financial protection involved. I would say a pre-nup should practically be a requirement of marriage if at a certain level of financial disparity and if going the “mom/dad only as a career” (for lack of better phrase) then getting financial safety for the choice should also be a requirement. Once love becomes “ex-shit”, all the gloves come off and it will reach a unique level of vicious especially if children or enough money is involved.
Erasend, You are right to draw the connection between my biology and that of a father’s; however, in the case of a birthing lesbian, the “other parent” has no biological connection. The only representation a same-sex partner has is the marriage license which we know is valued little more than toilet paper. Without intercourse, conception is too easily a manipulation of a lesbian, and when that child is stolen, it casts the mother into a form of sexual abuse called womb slavery. So you are wise to comment on a prenuptial and a legally binding life plan, because it is the only preemptive protection parents have for their civil rights. An American is only as good as their word that is witnessed and signed and documented by someone making an exorbitant profit. The LGBTQ+ community thought the right to marry was progress, because few teach as you have so rightly explained that marriage is not a contract but a liability and weapon on mass destruction.
Thank you Teri and Frank for sharing this story, and for the commitment you’ve both made to expose the vicious acts of judges, attorneys and psychologists. It is a harsh but necessary reality to consider — one that runs counter to the beliefs many of us were raised to believe. If one follows the money, it’s quite clear. It’s not about gender; it’s racketeering.
Thank you for publishing this story. It is not about the gender; it is purely about the money. Public opinion and outrage is the only way to take down the CRIMINAL ENTERPRISE that defines the CT Family Court System.
Without money, you have no power in family court. Without money, you have no rights in family court. It’s all about the money. Children are a commodity in the state of Connecticut.
( see https://www.divorcecorp.com). There is no due process. Constitutional rights have no value.
There are NO JURIES watching in family court– without a jury, money is all that matters.
These are not custody disputes. These are child abductions.
There is no justification for such draconian measures, which is why the CT media will not cover these stories. If CT media DID cover these stories, they would be investigated, the truth would be exposed, and the insiduous corruption would come to a halt. Judges, attorneys, psychologists would be criminally accountable for the intentional infliction of abuse to children and innocent parents.
Thank you, Frank, for your commitment to exposing RICO in CT family courts. People are paying attention.
Thank you Paul H for your poignant comment. You are absolutely right, but I say: legally recognized parenthood is the commodity and children are the currency. These people do not want the children; they want the power, profit and prize they call parenthood; and they use the children to get it. Remember that injustice is temporary, but the Constitution is not.
Sorry, Ms. Callhoon. It is a nightmare. The best abusers get others to do it for them. Putting a predator and victim in an adversarial setting guarantees the victim loses. Family court attorneys and all involved are dependent on the victim economy they create and are usually abusers themselves. Abusers smell their kind and protect each other