Violet [not her real name] is an attractive woman who once had an intimate relationship with Keith Alan Raniere.
Here is her story:
I met Keith Raniere when I was looking for something in my life and someone to share my life with. While we met for reasons other than romance, he soon let me know he was interested in me romantically.
I was supposed to do some work for him promoting his company.
He did not use any come-on lines. He was direct. He simply said he wanted to have sex with me.
Sex, he said, was nothing to be frightened of; nothing to attach such great importance to. It is just skin touching skin. Like playing tennis.
I resisted at first.
I always wanted more than just sex with a man. To have sex with a man was not just like playing tennis with him. There was something different, something more – for me at least. I told him I wanted to be married and have children.
He told me that marriage was indeed possible for us.
And he said that if we did marry, then we would have a child.
I asked him how he knew this.
He said he could foretell the future. He had certain powers and besides – he had been declared the smartest man in the world – based on an IQ test he had taken – and it was not just his word – the Guinness Book of Records noted his brilliance in the category of highest IQ.,
I asked him to tell me more.
He said we would have a female child and she would become an avatar.
I did not know what to make of that.
He pressed. We met and talked and he was quite attentive, but still, I resisted.
If he knew we would have an avatar – a special child – then let us wait for sex and get married.
He sent some women friends of his to meet me. One of them, Pam Cafritz, out of the blue, started to tell me about her relationship with Keith. She explained to me that what Keith had with her and some of the other ‘lucky’ women was not casual sex, but spiritual sex.
It struck me that Pam was bringing this up in order to persuade me to have sex with Keith. The conversation made me uncomfortable.
Still, we continued to meet.
He looked at me with what I perceived to be such love in his eyes.
One day he said, ‘I worry about you; you are such a pure and innocent soul that you are not meant to be on this earth. There is another, higher world, for someone like you.”
People don’t fall for Keith for no reason. He is smart, charming, funny and playful.
To tell me that I was so pure spiritually – so good – that there was another divine realm that was more suitable for someone like me was an intriguing way to try to seduce a woman.
Still, it seemed like his lifestyle was a million miles away from what I knew would make me happy.
Yet, I have to admit, that when all these other smart people believed in Keith, smart good looking women. it made it more convincing.
Knowing that smart people believed in him made it easier for other people who consider themselves intelligent to ignore red flags.
This was the secret of Keith’s success.
They have a good system to hide his dark side – his other women.
That’s why I don’t fault anybody for believing in him.
Still, his lifestyle would not make me happy. What woman in her right mind wants to be one of many lovers, be part of a harem?
That was not me.
Perhaps it was not any of them. I think most of the women started out thinking they would be the only one.
At least he was upfront with me. He told me he had many lovers.
But he kept working on me, telling me to be rational, acting like he cared about me in some higher, more evolved way than anyone else ever could.
He and his women – especially Pam – were grooming me in a way that felt like a full-court press, but I didn’t understand the concept of grooming at the time. Sexual predators groom their prey.
One day, Keith drove me over to a house. It was somebody else’s house but he had a key to it. I had never been there before.
We went in and nobody was home. Alone, we sat down on the couch and talked and then we cuddled.
He made me feel special. It was romantic. He was sweet.
One thing led to another. We were two, single, consenting adults. I was in no way a victim.
He told me I would see a blue light after having sex with him and I think it may have been the power of suggestion – but I think I saw it.
And I will admit he was a very capable lover and the sexual experience was exciting and satisfying
But right after being intimate with him, before I even had time to relax and enjoy the after moments – he said to me – to my shock, “It is done. Now you can longer be with any other man.”
He tried to claim ownership of me like I was a piece of property.
“Now that we have united, you are bound to never sleep with anyone else again so long as you live. You are mine.”
He gave me a big lecture to explain it. Informing me that I had been initiated into his inner circle.
I was taken aback. I thought at first, “He can’t be serious.”
He was dead serious.
It had the opposite effect that it has reportedly had on other women who joined his harem.
I was completely turned off. I found it deeply manipulative. He did not tell me this in advance.
You can’t just have sex – with a consenting adult – and then after the fact say ‘you’re mine now forever’!
It wasn’t a marriage ceremony. It was perhaps a date – or perhaps casual sex!
And he was not proposing by the way that he would have no other women. It was a one-sided obligation.
I did not actually dispute with him. There was something scary about him now. I remained quiet.
And after he left, I went running back to my more conservative life.
Something told me that if he knew I was not about to commit to him, things might not go well – so I just quietly slipped away and tried to get off his radar.
I moved on with my life.
He has never done anything to harm me, and I’ve never considered him an enemy.
It is my understanding that some people feel enriched by the seminars he created.
However, seeing the harm he has inflicted on other women who have done nothing to deserve it, I thank my lucky stars that I never fell for him or got sucked in.