‘Squat, Hold ‘Em Up, Cough, Turn & Repeat’ – Vanguard’s schedule when he goes to court

Several readers are always asking for more details of The Vanguard’s life at the Metropolitan Detention Center (MDC) – which is one of the reasons that Frank Report has taken steps to establish relationships with people who can supply that sort of inside information. Most recently, a reader sent an email asking what goes on behind the scenes when Vanguard [AKA Keith Alan Raniere] has to attend a court hearing like he did just a couple of days ago.

Well, here’s the answer to that question:

A good portion of his schedule depends on whether MDC is running one bus or two buses on the day that Raniere has to appear at the Federal courthouse in Brooklyn. Since it’s usually just one, we’ll go with that schedule.

4:00 AM: Keith will be awakened by a guard – and told to get dressed and be ready to move out in 15 minutes. That leaves him just enough time to get up, use the toilet which stands beside the bed, brush his teeth, and get his prison slipper-shoes on (There’s no time for a shower – which, in Vanguard’s case, is no big deal).

4:15 AM: A guard will come by, let Keith out of his cell, and take him downstairs to the R&D (Receiving & Discharge) Unit. Since he’s already wearing his assigned “onesie”, he won’t have to change clothes when he arrives at R&D.

4:30 AM: A guard will take him to the back area of the R&D Unit – and strip-search him. That means that Raniere will have to stand in a slightly elevated area, remove each article of clothing, one piece at a time, and hand it to the guard so that it can be checked for any hidden contraband. When he’s finally ‘buck’ naked, the guard will order him to “Squat, Hold ‘Em, Cough, Turn & Repeat” – or words to that effect. To comply with that order, Keith will plant his feet on the two little foot drawings on the floor, squat down, pick up his testicles, cough – and then turn around 180 degrees and repeat that process. Unless something falls out of his anus, Raniere will then be given back his clothes – and allowed to get dressed.

4:45 AM: Keith will be taken to a holding cell – where he’ll be able to sit on a concrete slab bench with other prisoners who are going to court that day. Depending on which guards are on duty, the prisoners may or may not be given a “Breakfast Bag” (These usually contain a styrofoam cup filled with some stale corn flakes, a carton of milk, and an apple).

5:00 AM – 5:30 AM: Keith will sit in the holding cell with a dozen or so of his new friends – and wait to be called for his trip to the courthouse. This will give him time to tell his fellow inmates that he’s the smartest guy in the world, was the East Coast Judo Champion at age 11, and once tied the New York State 100-yard dash record. Or he could do the really smart thing and keep his mouth shut.

5:30 AM – 6:30 AM: Prisoners will be brought out one at a time – and restrained with handcuffs, a waist-chain and ankle shackles. Those who are wearing prescription eyeglasses will be allowed to keep them on for the trip.

6:30 AM: Once the bus is loaded, it will make the rounds to whatever courthouses at which prisoners are scheduled to appear that day. Since the Federal Courthouse in Brooklyn is the closest, that’s usually the first stop.

7:30 AM – 8:30 AM: When the bus arrives at the courthouse, the prisoners will be taken off the bus and escorted to holding cells. There, they will sit until their case is called – which for Raniere will be several hours. The “good news” is that he’ll get a “Lunch Bag” sometime around 11:30 AM – and be able to satiate himself on a bologna-and-cheese sandwich, a carton of fruit juice, and another apple.

8:30 AM – 1:30 PM: Sheer boredom. Nothing to do. Nothing to read. But a great time to recruit new members for NXIVM.

1:30 PM: Assuming Judge Garaufis’ schedule is running on time, Keith will be escorted upstairs to a smaller holding cell – and remain there until his case is called.

2:00 PM: Keith will be escorted from the small holding cell to the courtroom – and just before he enters, the guards will remove his waist-chain and ankle shackles.

2:00 PM – 3:30 PM: Keith will get to sit at the table with his co-defendants and listen to whatever proceedings are taking place. This will also allow him an opportunity to make “moon eyes” at all his former slaves – at least those who are willing to look at him. He’ll also have an opportunity to mesmerize the two female AUSAs who are prosecuting his case – and emit the right kind of psychic energy that will cause them ultimately to stand up and announce they’re dropping all charges against him (Thus far, this does not seem to be working on Moira Kim Penza and Tanya Hajjar).

3:30 PM – 4:00 PM: Raniere will be taken back to the small holding cell – and re-fitted with his waist-chain and ankle shackles.

4:00 PM – 5:00 PM: Keith will be taken back downstairs to the larger holding cell – where he’ll wait with his fellow inmates for the bus to return and take them back to MDC.

5:00 PM – 6:00 PM: The bus will go to whatever courthouses where it dropped off prisoners in the morning – and pick them up and then make the return trip to MDC. When he arrives at the R&D Unit, Keith will have his handcuffs, waist-chain and ankle shackles removed – and be moved into another holding cell.

6:00 PM – 7:00 PM: Each prisoner will be escorted to the back of the R&D Unit – and made to go through another strip search. Usually, this will be done in groups of 3 or 4 – which gives everyone a chance to compare physiques and, in Raniere’s case, perhaps for the others to admire the rare body type that allowed him to win both the judo championship and tie the record for the 100 yard dash.  It also gives everyone an opportunity to show how adept they are at performing the “Squat, Hold ‘Em, Cough, Turn & Repeat” routine.

7:00 PM – 8:00 PM: Raniere will wait to “catch a ride” with a guard who is going to his unit. Sometimes, this happens right away but sometimes it can be an hour or more.

8:00 PM: Home at last – and, if he’s lucky, someone will have set aside a dinner food tray for him. If not, then he’ll get a “Dinner Bag” with, you guessed it, a bologna-and-cheese sandwich, a carton of milk, and another apple.

8:00 PM – 10:00 PM: Time to reflect on the day’s events and maybe do a little sobbing in his bunk.

10:00 PM: Time for the “Evening Count” – and then “Lights Out” until 6:00 AM.

It’s been a long day and perhaps after wetting his pillow with tears, he’ll fall asleep. There’ll be some rare dreams in his bunk in the night. He’ll dream perhaps of being a Vanguard where branded beautiful skinny slaves run his errands and his clothes just magically appear and he has so much money he can do anything with it so he chooses to use it to sue ex-girlfriends who left him and get them put in jail.

Raniere’s next court appearance is December 6th.

About the author

K.R. Claviger


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  • Here’s the link wherein Keith Raniere admits he’s had people “killed for my beliefs or theirs.”

    (Under discussion on this thread.)

    • I’ll paint the picture for you, even though it’s painting by the numbers which most people, even stupid idiots, should be able to do on their own:

      1. The purpose of the meeting was for Raniere to keep several people from leaving NXIVM, and claiming to have killed people is hardly a logic method of being successful in that effort;

      2. Raniere knew he was being videotaped, why would he admit to this, knowing he could get in trouble;

      3. The discussion immediately prior to the “I’ve had people killed” statement was related to questioning Raniere’s lack of leadership experience and abilities. Why would anybody defending his leadership experience and abilities claim that he has had people outside of NXIVM killed because they didn’t agree with NXIVM’s philosophy;

      4. Raniere claims he was shot at, not that he shot anybody else;

      5. The entire conversation is done is a calming, non-belligerent manner, why would Raniere throw in a claim that he’s killed people (or had them killed by others sympathetic to to NXIVM) in the middle of the conversation;

      6. Raniere even throws in a Christian reference, why would he do that if he has also had people killed for not agreeing with him;

      7. Raniere was stating “I’ve had people killed” in the context of having bodyguards, probably in relation to how dangerous it is in Mexico, and things that he’s said. Why would somebody kill somebody else because of things that he himself has said? Why would Raniere claim that he’s had people killed, again probably in reference to Mexico, it would be his own death warrant; and

      8. Have any of the people at the meeting claimed he was talking about killing others, versus NXIVM people being killed by others?

      Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39YUXIKrOFk

      What do all of you cowardly anonymous “people” think of this superb analysis?

      • What people in Nxivm were killed Scott that Raniere is referring too?

        Where’s the proof Raniere was ever shot at?

        Why would he need bodyguards? The video was shot in 2009, Raniere had never been to Mexico for Nxivm at the time of the filming.

        He clearly says “I’ve had people killed for my beliefs”. Manson didnt go to jail for killing people himself bit he did go to prison for murder.

  • How can a guard stand with his face to Keith’s bare arse, then ask him to bend over while squatting, then have to endure smelling what Keith had for dinner last night?

    …And if Keith lets out a sonic boom from his arse, can you imagine the smell which the guards would have to endure?

    It would go right from Keith’s arse directly thru the guard’s nostrils, forcing them to inhale the very essence of Keith, with perhaps catastrophic consequences.

    It could make them apprehensive to search Keith again.

    Keith could even weaponize the process, to perhaps gain favors from guards who wish to avoid smelling his worst sonic boom (with remnants from last night’s mystery meat). …and if he threatens an actual “shart”, that could prove to put the guards in dire circumstances.

    Keith could use the mere threat of booming their nostrils to gain favors, for not doing it.

    • when Vanguard gets moved to a federal pen that lilly white ass is gonna get gaped by more than a few chocolate sticks.

  • Does someone know why we often see many mugshots but none of the Nexium mob? I just wondered why we get to see some but not others?

  • Keith needs no protection whatsoever he truly is a judo sensei. Trust me I know. If any of those prisoners tried any rough stuff on him he’d flip them to the ground and put them in a headlock and then show them compassion. Believe me they won’t try it again. He demonstrated that on me and believe me it is sudden and swift and he is powerful. He is a true judo master.

    • “he’d flip them to the ground and put them in a headlock and then show them compassion.” Pea Onyu

      So Raniere would kill people with compassion and kindness?
      Is that how Raniere killed Pam Cafritz and Barb Jeske?

      Or did Raniere kill those two women with Voo Doo medicine concocted by Dr. Danielle Roberts?

      “Pam, I’ve got a new drug that will cure your cancer. It’s called Placebo.”

      • Those two women knowing KAR so well and having done terrible things for him, those two should have known not to trust his cure for cancer. They had to know at some point it wasn’t working. Has anyone verified that they were under a real cancer Drs care. Were they autopsied at death. Did Clare pay for correct paperwork. I just doubt they wanted to die and hope someone follows up on all of the suspicious deaths related to Rainere. Considering he himself claims to have killed. Not a comment people make for no reason.b

    • Pea,
      I think I know who you really are …since this scenario has played out once before, and appears to be following a similar script.
      So, I’m pretty sure you’re Stacey A. from….I think it was Brooklyn. Stacey, I could post your last name, (but I won’t) and then everyone could look up your SM pages and see what you look like… .and next to you, Clare is an absolute beauty. So I won’t subject people to that punishment.
      Still writing that crazy, shitty poetry, Stacey?

      • Yeah sure. Pea is Stacey from Brooklyn. lol

        You have no clue who Pea really is and your attempt at bluffing is almost child like (in how phony it sounds).

        LOL at you “choosing” not to post her last name if you really knew it — as if you’re showing mercy on her.

        First of all, you don’t have mercy within you —- you’re a classic narcissist and you’d probably dox Pea’s entire family if you actually knew who she was, lol.

        You remind me of a type of Texas Holdem player called a ‘fish’ (a beginner who can’t bluff their way out of a paper bag; a person who only knows how to shove all-in with any two cards).

        You really need to take lessons in the art of bluffing, if you expect anybody to believe your bluffs. Dummy.

        Let ShadowState do the investigative work here. You’re just not up to the task. Go back to watching CNN all day long.

        • Hi Stacey
          What’s the matter?
          Mad I posted your name? Why would i post your last name, when you morons keep threatening to sue me?

          Stacey is angry because she got the short end of the stick in everything in her life…so this is why she does what she does….right Stacey?

          And I have given enough information that Shadow might be able to dig up her name. But if he does, be prepared. When I say Stacey was whacked with the ugly stick, I am not kidding.

          • Calling your bluff guy,
            Why would I bluff about it? What would be the purpose?
            And I’m not omitting her full name out of mercy for her. I’m doing it because these motherfuckers threaten me with lawsuits…..
            I have no doubt that the ugly hag Stacey A is involved, as are several others whose names I do know. And I doubt that any of them were in NXIVM, but they definitely belong to a cult.
            Right, whores?

          • Feel sorry for you Flowers, you are capable of such nastiness and stupidity and you come here to attack victims of something worse than you’ve had to endure in your life. Just a painfully tedious alt right bully -or is that alt- left? no difference.

        • Spot on Flowerchild is as clueless as they come. Pea brain the trolls posts are not coming out of Brooklyn. Go back to sleep flowerpot

          • How would you know, fed. You have special knowledge?. Maybe you can tell me who was creeping around my house the other night, looking thru my windows? Kinda weird, as you whores get angrier you get more and more careless.
            Cops have your names, whores .
            And the fact that one of these whores is a lawyer isn’t too surprising, is it?

          • Might have one of your imaginary friends. Just get some extra batteries for your vibrator and all will be well ,you delusional, vile, evil twat.

          • Awww….what’s wrong, Irv the perv?
            Getting scared because the criminals you hired are so fucking stupid and they screwed up so badly?. …
            Cops got some evidence now.
            Wonder if your retarded hired morons will give the cops any info on you whores….😉

          • Flowers there are no cops little fella. You are some dumb ass former NXIVM scum in the Vancouver area just posting shit which is all you brain is made of. Now run off little fella and grab you tiny nutsack and squat.

          • Flowers, Do you believe that people from this board [whores] are “creeping around my house the other night, looking thru my windows?” Why would that be? Have the ‘cops’ who have [the whores] names been able to help? Why no article from you with a full account of the ‘legal harassment’ and police records etc., that you’re always talking about? Frank would print it for sure, it’d be interesting, even if it had no relation to the purpose of this site.

            Expect no mercy though. Not after the way you have treated ex-nx victims here.

          • Hi anonymous
            LEGAL harrassment? What could be legal about harassment? I’m not sure what you
            mean. Was that a typo in your part, or maybe a typo on my earlier post? If so, I meant illegal, obviously.

            There are a few police reports , which I’ve made over the last year, the latest one being yesterday. In case you’re not aware, when you phone in a report of something such as a prowler, the police do not type up a report and present it to you. The will give you a file number, and that is it. I assume they keep an online record of all the facts, and then print those facts up when needed for court cases. Maybe someone who is familiar with police procedure can verify.
            However, even if such a record were available to post here, it would prove nothing other than I reported the incidents to the police.

            To answer your question, no, I don’t think any person posting comments here is the same person who has physically committed any of the physical crimes, (such as the prowler who was peering onto my house in the middle of the night) The prowler left evidence, so we know for sure he did it, but that doesn’t mean we know who he is. As most criminals dont leave a calling card, that isn’t surprising.

            I can only assume the connection of all the very bizarre harassment incidents that have occurred over the past few years to some online harassment that I experienced, as both started around the same time period.

            I named Stacey A, because she was one of the people involved in that group of online harassers ( one who posted with her real name) and the writing style of certain troll posts here matches her style.
            But I have several reasons to suspect that this group of previous online harassers is now posting comments on this site. What difference does it make WHY I believe that? My reasons wont mean anything to you. I can just tell you that what was said previously by this group of bullies (many whom did provide their real identities) sounds exactly like some of the comments posted here in recent months. This is my opinion and a police report will not verify that.

            I do have some paperwork and emails sent to me by some of these individuals which threatens me with legal action if I talk about what they have done. I wont submit that to Frank because:
            A)it has nothing to do with NXIVM as far as I can tell (though there may be a connection I haven’t found yet)

            B)I dont want my identity made public, and I dont want those threatening me made public, either.

            C) Submitting the documents still won’t prove anything to the people reading here. For all you know, they could be fake documents I had typed up myself.

            To the person who said I attack victims of NXIVM – please clarify which victims you mean. My “attack” posts that you seem to be referring to were aimed at Pea. Is Pea the so-called victim? Really?

            Or do you mean Heidi and pretty girl? Neither of them are victims (even if they were using real identities, which they clearly are not) Heidi is not a victim, she did nothing to stop her sister’s relationship with Keith, and Heidi does really follow Clare on twitter, as I mentioned earlier. If she felt she were a victim of Clare, why did she appear to communicate with her? Doesn’t add up. And how is pretty girl a victim? A victim because she recieved a free class? Oh my…sounds like she was treated horribly!

            But isn’t hilarious how everyone else here, including Frank, attacks all the other former members (all of which did also be called victims)

    • You take a little walk through the jail, Keith’s possible 11 year old judo training at the current age of 58 I’m sorry Pea I just don’t think he can take down a 27 year old lifetime criminal. There’s a big difference between picking on an underweight exhausted girl and fighting a man who’s lived his life fighting with whatever’s at hand. No not shaking hands and bowing first!
      I just erased most of what I had written, it seemed unnecessary and cruel, the truth is if Keith Rainere had not run a criminal enterprise he could be living a good life. He chose a different path and it started with scams like Amway , his consumer byline business was a scam , he was caught , he got in trouble, he had to pay out a lot of money. He made a deliberate choice to live a life of crime only his thinking was skewed. He thought if nothing was in his name he couldn’t be charged. Then he went further and further from reality. He’s one of the most selfish men I’ve ever heard of. ESP made money, he suckered wealthy women out of their money, it was never enough. He still could have stayed out of jail. So when I felt like crying reading the day of a man going to a 30 minute court hearing, I remind myself this is the man who called himself Vanguard and had women videotaped getting his initials burnt onto their skin for his viewing pleasure.
      He’s right where he put himself.

      • Well said and spot on. He is a man without mercy, so it’s hard to feel mercy for him. He really could have had a great deal without resorting to punishment and coercion. Women were gladly sleeping with him and many were handing over their money. But as another poster said, he was doomed to always be vacant and empty, not ever knowing real love or a selfless, committed relationship.

    • Hey pee brain, maybe if you squat and cough your head will fall out. Why don’t take a crack at it? Cheaper than the proctologist you’ve been avoiding.

  • So glad he is finally getting his karma.

    With the possibility that more charges and more arrests happening before his next court appearance, Raniere could be back before December and his trial push out beyond March.


  • I’m confused; I thought there was a tunnel between MDC and the Federal Courthouse that was used to transfer the prisoners?

  • My understanding is that prisoners are sometimes subjected to mule duty by fellow inmates, being forced to transport contraband to and from the MDC.

    Given Reinere’s frequent trips to the court, is it possible he’s being used in this fashion? He’s being allowed to wear those eyeglasses, I wonder if they could serve as a vessel for small items (icepicks, small quantities of drugs, messages to the outside, etc.)

    I know he’s being housed in a special wing, but I’m not sure that’s sufficient to keep him being used as cattle.

    • You bring up an excellent point. Is Keith being properly protected from abuse from other prisoners ? Or is he being used as human cattle

    • His current eyeglasses are prison issue, I don’t know if that makes a difference. Now would be a good time for him to keep practicing his judo. After all the harm he has done others I know he deserves to be in jail. I have to remind myself how dangerous he is to the public or I could almost feel sorry for him. What a horrible life. And those are his good days. I do hope they don’t get lax about watching him every moment he is out and about, he has a lot of free time to plan. And there will always be those who will do anything for a Bronfman buck.

      • He’s had a GREAT life until now – and he’s 58. He’s been free without consequences for decades longer than he should have been allowed. Weep not for him. Let’s save sympathy for those he destroyed, or almost destroyed.

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” Parlato was also credited in the Starz docuseries "Seduced" for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Additionally, Parlato’s coverage of the group OneTaste, starting in 2018, helped spark an FBI investigation, which led to indictments of two of its leaders in 2023.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premiered on May 22, 2022. Most recently, he consulted and appeared on Tubi's "Branded and Brainwashed: Inside NXIVM," which aired January, 2023.

IMDb — Frank Parlato

Contact Frank with tips or for help.
Phone / Text: (305) 783-7083
Email: frankparlato@gmail.com