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Barbara Bouchey speaks out, offers firsthand account of Raniere’s hearing today!

Bouchey
Barbara Bouchey

Barbara Bouchey makes her first-ever posting on FrankReport

By Barbara Bouchey

Today I woke up feeling nauseated and very anxious. It’s a big day and this has been a long time coming. I had a lot of mixed feelings and decided only yesterday to attend.

I felt relieved, but a bit nervous about what the outcome would be, given Keith has gotten away with so much in the past. But, there was renewed hope in my heart that this time it might be different.

I showed up at court early – at 11 AM for a 2 PM hearing. I wanted to make sure I could get a seat in the tiny  courtroom. I had heard that Toni Natalie and Catherine Oxenberg were attending, so I reached out to see if we could embrace the day and all go together.

 

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At one time, Barbara Bouchey and Keith Raniere were vary close. She knew him intimately and helped him build the NXIVM organization. When she left – discovering as she did that his actions were different than his teachings – she had a large hand in bringing the organization down.

After all, this was a victorious day and one to unite in celebration. After several texts and a couple calls to Toni, she did not respond. I was told by a reliable source that Toni did not want me to join her. Many of you know there is a history between us and I felt very sad to not be included and was a little scared to go alone. A message conveyed to Catherine did not open up an invite either. Thankfully, my dear friend Joyce took the redeye last night, flying across the country to be supportive, so I would not go in alone.

As it turned out there was no one there early except me and lots of media, filmmakers and documentary folks outside the courthouse. And so I wound up spending time talking with each one since I had three hours to spare. After so many years of silence because of being legally stalked with court restraining orders – not being able to tell my story publicly, it felt good to finally feel safe to do so. I began to share details that no one else cares about, nor do ex-members want to tell about – not the good and the bad.

The question of the day was “what was good or compelling about Keith and the company to attract so many good, intelligent people?”

Well, it’s time to tell it all….no?

Toni arrived with Catherine a couple hours later and entered the courthouse sitting together. When I entered, we were all cordial, but there was no apparent interest by them in my joining their intimate group. Nevertheless, I was there for my own purpose and glad to experience this day. The most compelling reason I decided to attend is when several pointed out that this “may be the only and last day to ever lay eyes on Keith, and you should be there to witness the effects of yours and others’ actions that brought this day here – and have closure.”

It wasn’t until around 1:30 pm that the courthouse began to fill. It was surprising, as I had expected there to be more people and even thought a bus load of devoted members would show up to support their leader. THEY DIDNT. In fact, in the 11th hour yesterday, the powerful and influential contingency of Nxivm in Mexico City ran by Emiliano Salinas (son of ex-president Carlos Salinas) and Alex Betancourt made an announcement officially closing their center after 15 years and ceding their ownership. I was shocked!

Could it be they are finally waking to the irrefutable evidence presented last week by the prosecutor of Keith‘s involvement in the creation of the women’s group with concrete evidence of the same, making it clear that he and his hierarchy lied and betrayed their trust?

Needless to say, we all sat with bated breathe awaiting Keith to emerge from the small door in front. There were many people on the prosecutor side coming and going. I think there were 8 people. And the lead prosecutor, a small, unassuming women with long brown hair looking no older than 20 years old. But, my guess is she’s a fellow warrior in all 100 lbs of her!

Two older women came in with artist palettes to draw their impressions of Keith including the cutest set of binoculars. Yes, binoculars, when they were sitting a mere 20 feet away! Omg…too funny.

Finally,  at 2:20pm,  Keith came through the door, while those around us spoke of how mysterious this delay was saying how punctual it normally is. If you have ever observed Keith walk, then you know he has an unusual gait. He walks forward on his toes with a skip up at times. Well, he bounded into the courtroom with an exaggerated hop skip to his step that made me chuckle.

My opinion is this, is this his “I’m an innocent good boy skipping and hopping stance.” He was dressed in a bizarre jail uniform in a color not seen before which had shades of red, green and black. He was adorning his typical look when he wants to appear the impish college nerd with his round glasses and clean shaven face. Gone were the long dregs and beard looking like Jesus. His hair looked unkempt (maybe they denied him shampoo?) and his face was blood pressure red. The only other time I saw him looking this unglued, nervous, agitated and red-faced was when I and eight other women (aka The Nxivm 9) confronted him for 11 hours just before we resigned.

Clearly, Keith is not used to being held accountable?

My impression of him after nine, intimate years of knowing him, is that he was frightened and acting humble, confused, showing earnestness for the judge to see him as good. I know others may perceived that he was ‘arrogant and smug’ but I did not detect that at all, nor did others I asked.

When answering questions, Keith did what I would call “I’m a bashful good boy” leaning forward earnestly to the judge with as much respect and sincerity he could muster. The judge would know no difference from one who might be genuinely that way.

It was brief and over in 5 minutes. Keith’s attorneys stated that they were not seeking release and the judge ordered permanent detention with a stipulation that a request for a future hearing on being let out on bail was admissible. I’m not an attorney or expert at these things (although I have made several attempts at defending myself) is that this was somewhat of a concession for it was hopeless to even attempt to ask for bail. The judge was very cordial and kind in his brief appearance, and in his addressing Keith.

It ended before it began!

I felt enormously relieved to know he was being kept behind bars. And yet, I simultaneously felt a deep sorrow and grief of a brilliant man who had the capacity to positively impact the world – and here he was a fallen man who was led astray by the dark forces seemingly uncontrollable within him, creating a wake of abuse and great harm to many.

Today was a victorious day. Today was a day to celebrate. Today restores and renews the faith within each one of us that in the end “truth does prevail and justice is served.” Today I feel closure and am glad that I could be there and be a witness.

bouchey
Barbara Bouchey says she feels free at last of the heavy hand of oppression of former lover and accused sex trafficker Keith Raniere.

 





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  • 50 hours and counting – and still no answers from Barbara Bouchey to my 10 questions. Your silence speaks louder than your post, Barbara!

    Just in case you misplaced the questions, here they are again:

    1. How much did you earn from NXIVM in your role as a Coach, Proctor, and Board Member – and did you report those earnings as income and pay taxes on them?

    2. How much did your company earn in fees from managing the financial assets of the Bronfmans and other NXIVM members – and did you report those fees as income and pay taxes on them?

    3. How many people did you personally recruit to take NXIVM classes – and how many of them have you contacted to apologize for your role in recruiting them?

    4. Have you offered to repay the fees of any of the people that you recruited to take NXIVM classes?

    5. In how many NXIVM-related lawsuits were you a named Plaintiff against one of the cult’s “enemies” – and have you contacted any of the defendants in those lawsuits to apologize for your role in them?

    6. Did you break off your sexual relationship with Raniere when you first found out he was sleeping with others – and if not, how long did you continue to be sexually involved with him after you found out he was sleeping around?

    7. Did you try to get pregnant while you were sexually involved with Raniere? If “Yes”, did you tell him you were doing so?

    8. Have you turned over all the documents and records in your possession concerning NXIVM to law enforcement officials? If “No”, why not?

    9. Have you ever hired a public relations firm, publicist and/or agent to shop your story around for development into a book, documentary, movie, etc.?

    10. How many NXians did you help leave the cult?

    • This question out if all of them, in the end, is really the only one worth asking, it’s the only one that can help heal all parties.

      3. How many people did you personally recruit to take NXIVM classes – and how many of them have you contacted to apologize for your role in recruiting them?

    • Also, you’re impassioned and rightfully pissed off. Don’t let anyone invalidate your feelings. But DO take care of yourself. Which might not happen until all the cards have been played. Which brings up another very important point. To A THERAPISt: These people are not going to begin to heal until all the the monsters are caught. Or until it’s out of the limelight at least. They’re stuck in limbo watching it unfold. So go back to psychoanalysis school. Or, be helpful here. But in order to be helpful here, you need to change who you are rooting for.

  • Hi all, I’m a psychotherapist. I have never been connected to Nxivm (so of course take what I say with as many grains of salt as feels right). Cults have been of interest to me, as several family members were once devoted followers of one. I’ve been following this story.

    Know that this range of responses is very expectable. Abusive leaders in cults or families thrive on and work hard to turn followers against each other, and they’re highly skilled at it. Followers often end up doing shitty things to each other- things most of them never would have done on their own if they weren’t brainwashed by the leader. That’s a part to try to remember, there’s the brainwasher and the brainwashed. There’s almost nil hope for the leader to be rehabilitated but lots of hope for the followers. The path to that rehabilitation for the followers can be very different for each of them – and it may take quite some time to reach full self-reflection. There’s so much pain, damage, anger, betrayal and shame to work through. Wishing a path of healing to all.

    • Thank you! May that hope be realized in healthy and happy recovery for all of the ex-NXIVMers.

    • She’s been 9 years removed from the cult where her standing was a board member and highly regarded recruiter. I’ll say again, 9 years removed. How old is she now? When does one accept responsibility? If you had a client involved in a cult, would you not be alarmed if he or she accepted no personal responsibility afeter 9 years removed?

  • Are we not missing the boat with some of these responses? How many of these inflammatory responses are from active members within NXIVM acting like trolls just to get a rise out of some of the respondents?

    A verbal apology is meaningless in the grand scheme of life. What is more important is the actions each person takes to heal their Karma from bad decisions. Anyone entering the gates of NXIVM made a bad decision and those that have not taken a course, well I bet you have made some along the way.

    Why all the stone throwing? Does using Barbara as your whipping post make the past different? Does it make you feel better than or about yourselves to act the way your actions are regarding her experience?

    Would I have called out two people for not wanting to spend time with me in a blog post? No, I’ve would have talked to friends or a therapist regarding my feelings. Everyone is where they are at in their healing journey and who died and left me in charge of passing judgment on where Barbara is at in her healing?

    For those that are angry about this, you are doing the same behavior by calling her out.

    For those that are angry based on Barbara’s time in NXIVM, that was nine years ago. The angry you are hanging onto really hurts you in the long run. A wise man (not Raniere) once told me that if I have issues with someone so far down the line from their actions, I was the one with the problem and my reactions were only hurting me. After exploring this for myself, he was right; the emotional turmoil was hurting my overall well being.

    We are starting a new journey now. Raniere is behind bars, and it appears his top followers will be in hand-cuffs shortly. Barbara will not be one of them. She wised up and got the hell out of NXIVM while the getting was still good. The good news is Barbara didn’t do it alone, she and the eight other woman met with many souls, and many left with or shortly behind them. It was the first mass exit from NXIVM.

    If Barbara needs to take top credit for the NXIVM 9, that might be an area of growth for her to explore. It’s up to her to consider why that is so important to her. If she wants to explore why others didn’t want to spend the day with her, it’s up to her to explore. If she wants to consider why it’s important for her to see Raniere as brilliant and he wasted his time/life, that is up to her to consider. Why it’s important for her to see him in a way that others don’t, they see a con man and an abuser of people he can use for his gain.

    Maybe it’s important to hold these “good” thoughts about Raniere, so Barbara does not have to explore what happened during her time with the inner circle. It can be hard to consider how one was lied to, treated and what they participated in. It’s a hard pill to swallow and a really bad wake up call to see the truth, the whole truth and what happened.

    Barbara’s sharing her content on the blog is her reflection of where she is at in her healing journey. Why beat her over the head with angry? That will not help anyone grow. Compassion might be a better form of hearing for her, seeing for her and allow for growth through the issues that still bind her up in her life and limit others from engaging with her.

    It’s apparent that some are stuck in your own journey’s. Beating up someone who has left and worked to make a difference the best way she can, it’s wrong. If it is OK than anyone who spent any time with Raniere or with one or more companies of his should get the same treatment.

    Those of us who have, we all participated in letting him / other leaders off the hook when we knew something wasn’t right. We might not have known the full story but those of us who have left after our time severed, have all helped his true mission in some way. Even spending a 1.00 in any business he was involved with, that helped him become who he is today.

    • I’m not involved in NXIM, never have been. I’m also just a fly on the wall. By negating the effects of an apology so early in your response, everything said after doesn’t mean anything to these people, at all. Especially when the person of interest has been out for 9 years and while having no issue being in the public eye, can’t muster one iota of remorse. That is an issue. While it might be another issue to therapy away those who would never get an apology for a slant, they are most likely to also not see the figure of thier slant in paper news interviews, blogs, or televised appearances, If one is going to choose to go public with thier story, they might take into consideration those they personally victimized.

  • Hey Barb, I’m still waiting for you to answer my 10 questions. Or maybe a couple of them? Or maybe even one of them, you pathetic piece of shit?

    PS- TO All Her Hired Agents Trying To Defend Her On This Blog: JUST HAVE YOUR HIGH-PAYING CLIENT ANSWER MY QUESTIONS INSTEAD OF TRYING TO BULLSHIT EVERYONE WITH YOUR PR BULLSHIT SPIN!

      • This is the ravings of a lunatic. It is so sad that this person was so damaged by Keith. It sounds like his baby momma who’s still in hiding. Being in hiding could stop the path to real healing. Still, It is no excuse for this obsessive, abusive rant. This is a very disturbed and sick person

    • Hey You, vengeful one, the one that wants this woman to answer for her involvement? Obviously you were on the inside and know of the goings on. How many years were you involved? Did you ever enroll anyone? Have you made a public apology and tell your details? What about the other people that were big enrollers that made money off others like, Susan Dones, Mark Vicente, Sarah Edmonson. Have all these people made public apologies? Paid moneys back? What of your involvement? We want to hear your side of the story. At least I do.

      • Sorry, but I never recruited anyone. I did try twice but both people decided not to sign up for any ESP classes.

        I don’t know anything about Susan Dones, Mark Vicente or Sarah Edmondson because I never met any of them. But I would apply the same standards to them as I do to Barbara: they should apologize to anyone they ever recruited and, to the full extent they can do so, they should reimburse those people for whatever they spent on NXIVM classes. Same standards for all!

        I asked Barbara to reimburse me for at least part of the money that I pissed away on ESP classes before I realized what a scam the whole operation was. She told me it would be “unethical” for her to do so because that would mean the classes weren’t worth what ESP was charging for them. That’s one of the reasons why I have no respect for her.

  • How can someone so bright and a financial advisor be roped into this group? How can her clients trust her to make the right financial decisions for them? She gave Raniere all of her life savings! Does she still have clients?

    • Just because you’re smart in one area of your life doesn’t mean you’re not scarred and broken in other ways. From FrankReport:

      “By age 40, she had gross revenues exceeding $1 million annually, managing client assets of $90 million, with a company valued at $3 million. She had saved enough to retire.

      A leader in her industry, a respected member of her community, she sat on numerous boards and charities, became involved in the local Chamber, and had great pride in funding her third brother, Steven Bouchey, in 1990, enabling him to become a financial planner himself. Today, he manages a $270 million firm.

      Then she met “NXIVM,” the life coaching program that is supposed to change people’s lives.

      At the time, a close childhood friend committed suicide and she was separating from an ill-fated, short-lived marriage. One of her business clients, Nancy Salzman, urged her to take part in a workshop in her company, NXIVM, saying it would help her with separation and grief.”

      • Oh my God. She was ripe for the picking – recent tragedy, lots of money. These people are heartless predators. When my husband died, I was extremely vulnerable for a time and I got taken advantage of – badly – by someone professing to want to “protect” me. A lot of my money disappeared. This was one individual – imagine what a team of vultures can do, under the guise of a legitimate “self help” group.

  • If you had a 26 year old daughter deeply brainwashed that you want to trust you and reach out to you, do you attend the bail hearing of the brainwashing guru? Is India more or less apt to make peace with her mother? I would think less apt.

    Two outcomes that make more sense: more book sales (Captive comes out Aug 2018, $27 hardcover) and maybe positive sentiment on the part of the court (ie, +1 for involved mom, extra points for being famous) when they sentence India?

    In 2012, Catherine and Casper made a vow to have a lasting fulfilling partnership DVD ($30) called Secrets of Love. Their marriage ended 3 years later.

    They seem like loving parents, and Casper is sometimes positively adorable with India. But showing up at the bail hearing of someone your daughter is still attached to makes not so much sense.

  • 1 and 2 are stupid. No one duped anyone. Some people actually benefited from the courses or seminars. It’s not like Vanturd had a patent on self-improvement. He took stuff from elsewhere and shrink wrapped it as his own. It had helpful and truthful things in it.

    • The key phrase basically being that he took it and wrapped it in himself. Those of us on the outside who have watched the “Conversations With Keith” videos are not at all impressed. Why? Well, my first instinct would say because he’s obviously a quack. But that’s not fair. I think he had just enough charisma to entice those with money who also had very low self esteem. Be it chronic or due to feeling vulnerable because of a recent tragedy. I personally, can’t see how anyone could be impressed with this man who onbviously read three hundred too many self-help books, He graduated with a 2.6 GPA. He also got three degrees. If my kid wanted to get two more degrees with a 2.6 GPA, I’d be concerned that he wants to hide in college rather than start his life in the real world. Rightfully so.

    • "He took stuff from elsewhere and shrink wrapped it as his own. It had helpful and truthful things in it.." says:

      Yep. Exactly right. From L. Ron Hubbard to Osho [Wild, Wild Country], to Keith Raniere, they take essential human truths and package them as their own.

      Major religions have done that too. The crusades, for instance, which began around 1100 and lasted centuries, were a brute force way to rewrite local spiritual beliefs and determine what is holy and what is not.

      Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico was a local diety that got wrapped in Virgin Mary. Around 1520 the Spanish destroyed a temple of Tonantzin outside Mexico City and built a chapel dedicated to the Virgin Mary. Tonantzin was mother of their gods and celebrated every winter solstice. People continued to visit the temple to celebrate the winter solstice for years, addressing the official Virgin Mary as Tonantzin. A decade or two after the conquest, a local Aztec man saw the miraculous apparition of the Virgin on a page of parchment in the temple (and the authenticity of that moment and document is highly doubted by experts today), and she became known as the Virgin of Guadalupe.

      “1 and 2 are stupid. No one duped anyone,” however, is inaccurate. How they process and think got rewritten. By Raniere. They’re likely at least average intelligence (possibly more, considering neither has higher education), just extra needy. Broken in just the right ways on the inside to be susceptible to the friendly-at-first word salad spewings of Raniere.

  • I sat next to this delusional woman. What court room was she in? Both Catherine and Toni were cordial. Gave her a hug. Keith skipped in like a little arrogant troll in a shitty beige ensemble. Where did color blind BB get red black whatever? Keith leaned into the microphone to answer the judge like a little school boy. Pathetic. He glanced at Catherine and Toni twice. He made eye contact with Toni. Was BB jealous? Is she still in love with this amoeba? She is a loser anyway you look at it. She wants attention. BB: LOCK HIM UP FOR GOOD!!!

  • Whoever this is ,they are a liar with an ax to grind. I know for a fact that Barbara has made apologies and helped many people to leave. She gathered the Nxivm 9 (who were the first group of women to publicly resign ) and held meetings to expose the lack of ethics with other members. I was in such a meeting and it took plenty of convincing to get me to believe that we had been bamboozled . Many people left and yet others returned to be fed more lies and chastise the group that left. Barbara made more money before she joined, had Keith fleece her of her life’s savings, and had to defend herself for 8 years against the “Nxivm Mafia”. Furthermore, there are many others who have left and either did harm to others (Kristin Keefe-NXIVM’s Legal eagle for years) or made plenty of money ( Mark Vincente, Sara Edmonson) . Do we expect them to pay it back and make amends for enrolling people? I think not.

    I am thankful to Barb and the Nxivm 9 for being bold strong women to take a stand and help me and others to open their eyes!

    • Then why didn’t she show remorse on her 20/20 interview. Or I. Any public writing, where is this apology you speak of? Post the link.

      • Really? The whole 2 minutes they used? Quite frankly, we don’t know what she said in the interview as most of it was not used.

    • Forget the “9”. Where is her general remorse for getting so many others involved and in debt? Where is the general remorse for being a general in the army of Keith? Mind you, I’m an outsider. I don’t know a single insider. But, thus, is a preview of what is to come as the story gains ground. Common sense seems to have been lost somewhere, and you guys had better get a handle on it.

      • “Army of Keith” soooo lets consider some facts- Barb enrolled people for 6 yrs. into programs- Mark Vincente and Sara Edmonson enrolled people for 12-13 years. Were they generals in the “army of Keith too? You seem to have worked yourself into quite a lather over this as an “outsider”, which shows as you are mis-informed and seem to be missing the point. If you want to talk about KEITH’s ARMY, you should name the women who pimped for him – who led new prey to him – Pam, Lauren, Alison, India. Not Barb,Mark, or Sarah.

        Furthermore, if you are an outsider than you shouldn’t spread lies or false information around. It dosn’t help anyone to feed the false narrative.

        Let’s concentrate on the real criminals who are probably making plea deals now!

      • I don’t think this woman ever had common sense. She still gives financial advice? Run! It appears she still has some sympathy for KR!

    • “I am thankful to Barb and the Nxivm 9 for being bold strong women to take a stand and help me and others to open their eyes!”

  • Well, it’s currently split into four illusionary polarizing factions. 1.) Those who have been duped into spending thousands of dollars in sham seminars 2.) Those duping people into spending thousands of dollars in sham seminars. 3.) Those who delved deep enough to have been sex trafficking victims 4.) Those who recruited people into sex trafficking. The problem seems to be that all factions interweave. Everybody instinctively picks scenario 1 or 3. Ignoring any part in 2 or 4. That’s a problem. Not for us. But for those involved. On a personal level. There won’t be peace for themselves until they admit responsibility on all factions.

  • Girl? Stop going to these court dates! Stop saying ur sorry that dark forces drove him to this place. He’s mentally ill, honey! They born this way

    • Gia, I second that 100%. Sociopaths are born, They NEVER had a conscience in the first place. They never feel remorse or love.

      • Exactly, Orange County!! We should be trying to help each other identify with sociopathic behaviors. This won’t happen in the future. People are just not aware about psychiatry and how the mind and behavior with these crazy people are. And, they are usually calm and silent when confronted. They feel no fear! This comes if brave and intelligent than normal ppl who show normals signs when police arrest you and your in a courthouse or prison.

      • Nuero Linguistic Programming is real and, this guy and highest in command taught NLP to students taking courses!!! My advice, and this may sound nuts to average ppl…. but, if anyone reading these articles or following this has been involved in sex slave or dominant type sexual play… you can get triggered not come forward!! Hopefully, this is unlocking the damage to the brain and how it receives information if being under hypnosis or mind control like these people still are in my opinion. Anyone who’s ever been involved in these classes or around this weirdo should be seeing a shrink! He’s a fuking total manipulator and master mind fuk to women for more reasons than we know scientifically. I’m glad this guy is going down. But, we are only seeing the beginning stages of what this guy sexually has done to hypnotize these women as his sex slaves!!! The fact no psychiatry professionals have intervened as a health and safety matter for these women is sad.

  • TEN QUESTIONS FOR BARBARA BOUCHEY:

    1. How much did you earn from NXIVM in your role as a Coach, Proctor, and Board Member – and did you report those earnings as income and pay taxes on them?

    2. How much did your company earn in fees from managing the financial assets of the Bronfmans and other NXIVM members – and did you report those fees as income and pay taxes on them?

    3. How many people did you personally recruit to take NXIVM classes – and how many of them have you contacted to apologize for your role in recruiting them?

    4. Have you offered to repay the fees of any of the people that you recruited to take NXIVM classes?

    5. In how many NXIVM-related lawsuits were you a named Plaintiff against one of the cult’s “enemies” – and have you contacted any of the defendants in those lawsuits to apologize for your role in them?

    6. Did you break off your sexual relationship with Raniere when you first found out he was sleeping with others – and if not, how long did you continue to be sexually involved with him after you found out he was sleeping around?

    7. Did you try to get pregnant while you were sexually involved with Raniere? If “Yes”, did you tell him you were doing so?

    8. Have you turned over all the documents and records in your possession concerning NXIVM to law enforcement officials? If “No”, why not?

    9. Have you ever hired a public relations firm, publicist and/or agent to shop your story around for development into a book, documentary, movie, etc.?

    10. How many NXians did you help leave the cult?

    HERE’S THE DEAL, BARABRA: YOU ANSWER ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS RIGHT HERE ON THE FRANK REPORT – AND I’LL CONSIDER OUR DEALINGS TO BE OVER. IF YOU DON’T, I WILL CONTINUE TO EXPOSE YOU FOR THE FRAUD AND HYPOCRITE THAT I KNOW YOU TO BE.

  • Damn barb you are a good looking woman.

    Okay, that aside. Well done on having the courage to show up in court.

    This man has caused a lot of trauma to women through manipulation.

    No man should be placed on a pedestal or revered with a god like status. No man! I don’t care how smart people perceive them.

    He took advantage of his position and brainwashed, blackmailed and abused women physically and emotionally. That should never happen and no one should accept it.

    I only hope that people like Allison, Nicki Clyne and India oxenberg will get therapy and help even if they played a role in the abuse.

  • It seems that after reading some comments here as well as comments on other platforms, there are people that have been obviously hurt by some of your actions. I haven’t read within any articles or comments acknowledging your part in thier pain. At all. No remorse for any of your actions while a top NXIVM member who recruited and pressured others. I find it odd. Why not even the simpilist vague apology for any harm you might have caused someone while you were involved?

    • This is the exact same thing so many people say to Kreuk defenders.

      I am not qualified to speak as to whether Barbara has ever in the past acknowledged, expressed remorse / regret, and / or apologised for her part. She may have already done that. I wouldn’t presume either way.

      If Barbara has already apologised, then it is wrong to hound her for another apology. It might be better to ask if she has than to assume she has not and attack her about it.

      Catherine Oxenberg already did. Mark Vicente has. Not sure who else has or has not.

      One thing is that it is ridiculous to expect people to apologise over and over and over gain if they have already and it included acknowledging their role in it.

      • “This is the exact same thing so many people say to Kreuk defenders.”

        Oh please. Get over yourself. This is such a false equivalence.

        Bouchey was a part of the inner circle, sleeping with Keith Raniere for many years. She was gaining financial clients for her business through NXIVM and other benefits.

        Kristin effectively said why don’t come take a self-help course that has been beneficial to me and might be the same for you. Kristin was being used for her celebrity only through word of mouth since NXIVM doesn’t even advertise. Some guys probably joined just for a chance at a hookup professionally or personally. This is exactly what Kendra Voth meant when she said in a tweet defending Kristin: “Her goodness is often takin advantage of, and her name has been wrongly exploited.”

      • She was a senior member. On the Board even. I haven’t seen an article or post where she has shown any personal remorse. But I have seen other articles. Lengthy ones, like this one, I find it odd that there isn’t a genuine show of remorse stated somewhere. Someone else in this situation might say, “I am also horrified and ashamed by causing pain to other people while under this man’s spell.” But I’ve not seen anything of the sort. And, yeah, I think someone in this position might apologize repeatedly.

        • If people aren’t satisfied with one apology, that is their problem.
          Says more about them than the person they are attacking if they have an attitude like that.
          Some people are going to miserable regardless of what anyone else does.

          • That might be true if a person apologizes and then steps away from the spotlight, However, it seems to me, that if one in such leadership continues to step in the spotlight as a victim, they also owe it to the people they themselves personally victimized.

          • I havn’t seen any evidence of even “one apology” at all. If I missed it, please post the link.

          • I agree with APOLOGIES
            Quit you whining or have a session with your therapist. this appears to be a big issue for you:(

  • Well, that wasn’t cool to make this about you wanting attention from Catherine and Toni. Hmm I wonder why they didn’t want to see you. Could it be because of this bullshit you seem to constantly do?

  • Seriously…you’re going to turn this glorious day into a bitch session? I think you’re still full of NXIVM Kool-Aid and until you come clean about how much money you made off the Bronfmans, I will never give anything you say any credence.

  • Only YOU would turn today into a story about YOU. There’s a reason why you’re alone, Barbara – and it’s not just because of your obviously photo-shopped Facebook photos. The only reason why you left NXIVM is because Vanguard had moved beyond you. You brought me into this wretched group – which is something I will never forgive you for. You are part of the problem, not part of the solution. And, just like Vanguard, you’re trying to get something out of what’s happening now. The two of you were really meant for one another.

    • Everyone must celebrate. Grateful for the incarceration of this Evil Slim. Happy for you Barbara, thank you for sharing. Glad there was someone to report the goings on. Immature behavior, but not unexpected from TN. Happy for all those he has harmed. Much healing to do. Time to get on with your lives and not let this guy rule your world and you can stop looking over your shoulder. Hopefully, Clare, Nancy, Lauren, Karen, Ally are next.

      Empathy for the ‘Was there, Saw That’. The not taking responsibility runs deep in NX, starts with KR. He taught is minions well. Take a page out of Barbara’s note, be happy for justice is served.

      • I don’t think one should call Toni Natalie immature. Toni was being constantly harassed by Keith for many years as everyone familiar with the situation already knows while Barbara was sleeping with him in his bed. So, it’s very understandable why she can hold antagonistic feelings towards her.

        Also, she still seems clueless when she says things like Keith is “a brilliant man who had the capacity to positively impact the world”. It was revealed the guy had a 2.26 GPA in college which is far below the “brilliance” scale, and his personal history should tell anyone he had no intention of impacting the world. He’s nothing but a brilliant (if one can loosely use the term in such a context) con artist who only wanted to build his “little world” that could serve him and his ego.

        • Toni has also stated she has PTSD related to her past interactions with KR and his crew. If Bouchey was part of that at the time, I can see Toni not wanting to interact with her. Sometimes, past mistakes are just not fixable.

          While I have never believed his claims of a 240 IQ, KR is pretty damn bright – the low GPA has more to do with laziness than ability. He was just busy applying his intelligence to other things (like how to manipulate as many women into sex as possible) even back then. As for “Changing the world”… well, if you are targeting naive, idealistic women who do want to change the world for the better, you imply those are your goals as well. He’s been a calculating, conniving psychopath for a loooooong time! Especially love how he gets other people to credit him for their own acts of goodness in the world because they would never have come up with their own ideas without his beneficent influence – my eyes are gonna pop outta my head if I don’t stop rolling them in unadulterated sarcasm!

          This whole thing is a rabbit hole overflowing with sewage. Everyone involved needs to get professional help to disinfect their brains once they are out.

          • “the low GPA has more to do with laziness than ability. He was just busy applying his intelligence to other things (like how to manipulate as many women into sex as possible) even back then.”

            I’ve never really bought the lazy but brilliant rationalization. How do you know someone is brilliant without them actually showing it? I think they’re just good at bluffing, i.e., they’re great BS artists.

          • @SoS – about the only thing at which he is “brilliant” is BS! I was witness to the RPI laziness and its fallout. I don’t give him credit for brilliance, just the brightness that get’s one into RPI in the first place.

          • Toni’s PTSD has nothing to with Barbara. The crew that went after her were Keith and Kristin in the legal department. I believe some of her old friends (who are now deceased- PC /BJ) also did criminal things against her.

    • Lay off the lady. She was happy to see him behind bars. End of story. Now crawl back under a rock and leave Barb alone

  • Many thanks, Barbara, for your courage, and for sharing with us. Just one comment, though – you may be mourning a man who actually never possessed the attributes you thought: “a brilliant man who had the capacity to positively impact the world…” I think he was neither. I believe he was an unsatiable, master manipulator who destroyed many lives and careers in his quest for control, power, gratification, adoration, money, and luxury. He would hurt anyone if it served his selfish goals. May you gain peace with the recent developments.

  • Thank you Barbara – As someone who has witnessed Keith walking thru the Knox Woods and Stage Run neighborhood more times then I can count you described his walk perfectly. I always knew it was him even from far away, by the way he walked, he rolls up on his toes just as you describe.

    As someone mentioned below, and when it can be done without repercussions we would all love to hear the story of the NXIVM 9. You ladies have your own story that is just one layer of the NXIVM onion. to tell for a documentary. Perhaps one day everyone can agree to disagree or at least tell their stories so it can all be put together.

  • A very nicely written and illuminating report, thankyou.

    “a color not seen before” is quite the memorable phrase.

  • Just an observation … but it’s funny how all the NXSCUM supporters and deniers aren’t posting on this blog anymore.

    The Feds are coming folks… tax evasion, conspiracy, human trafficking, racketeering, money laundering. They’re gonna be buried so deep in prison, someone will have to pump sunshine down to these turkeys.

  • So happy you could be there to witness this monumental day and so proud to have stood with you against Keith’s and Nxivm’s unethical practices 9 years ago as the “Nxivm 9”. You have endured the wrath of their endless torture and today marks the end of that chapter!!! You are a true hero !

  • Getting your deeply knowledgeable perspective on the hearing is so terrific.

    Many of us, including myself, are unfamiliar with the exodus of the NXIVM 9. If you’re ever up to writing a post about it, an important event in the NXIVM timeline, it’d be such a welcome read.

  • Thanks for sharing this Barbara! I am very moved and inspired by your courage to confront this monster.

    And your observations are spot on. That is how Keith operates – seemingly benign and innocent. Yet within is the soul of a demon.

    We’ve seen it with David Koresh. We saw it with Jim Jones. We read about it with Charlie who convinced his followers to kill strangers in an attempt to start a race war.

    Alone, we are weak in confronting these monsters. Together we stand strong against injustice, against tyranny, and against the darkest recesses of the human psyche.

    Keith lost his humanity a long time ago. Our hope is that we can prevent others from falling for the lies of these demons masquerading as humans. And shut down these Cults before they ruin more lives.

    • What an amazing, insightful post, Former NX. “Alone, we are weak in confronting these monsters. Together we stand strong against injustice, against tyranny, and against the darkest recesses of the human psyche. Keith lost his humanity a long time ago.” Tragic.
      Thank you!

      • Thank you Barnara for your testimony. It’s sad that all the victims of Ranciere’s crimes are not standing together. But it’s propably only a mater of time. The victims were not only victims ; lots of them were participating into the mechanisism of slavery and endoctrinement, directly or indirectly. It will take time until everyone see they were all victims of the only one true master of the cult. 

      • Thanks OCD! When the story about the branding first broke, I didn’t want to believe it. The programming is so strong, that years later, I attempted to rationalize and explain everything away. But slowly, everything came back to sharp focus.

        As more and more info comes out, as we share our experiences, we’re really breaking down the illusion of Keith as the Vanguard and showing him as Keith the psychopath. Keith the abuser. Keith, the stealer of souls.

        I think by talking about it, by pulling away the covers, we’re exposing more and more of the TRUTH. We have to keep going. The journey isn’t finished yet.

        One day at a time . . .

  • Thank you Barb for sharing this! Odd that CO and TN were not open to sitting/conversing with you. For some reason that bothered me hearing that

  • My guess is any members that had the means or short distance to make it there, we afraid of possibile arrest warrants.

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