5 Ashram Members Attack Ruth on Being Jesse’s Victim

Ruth Graham takes on critics.

Ruth Graham’s story about Sharon Ward and Jess Sweeney caused a stir. Some readers attacked Ruth’s right to be a victim based on her life and beliefs.

The arguments they make are:
  1. Ruth did not disclose that Jesse Sweeney was once her boyfriend.
  2. She owns a rifle
  3. She is not transgender friendly
  4. She is polyamorous


Critic #1 wrote:

Ruth, you made intense allegations about Jesse Sweeney. I think you need to disclose that you dated him. Not doing so damages your credibility, especially with community members who know your history with him.

It looks like you are just trashing an ex-boyfriend in the worst way possible. This is life-ruining. Did Jesse do the things alleged in your story to you? Are you the ex-girlfriend you speak of in this piece?

Ruth Replies:

I was with Jesse when I was 18 until 21. He was about 10 years older.
I was young. Jesse was violent. There was a power imbalance due to the fact that Jesse is well placed in the ashram (due to his rich mother). I never was.
Jesse with his mother
The message was constantly “surrender surrender surrender.”
I’m 36 now.
I dated Jesse in 2004-2006.  I left the ashram in 2014. Around 2010, I heard from other ashram people that Jesse was “sorry” and he had changed [although he never said sorry to me].
Hearing that he changed, I went to see him.  He was staying in a house his mother bought him in the Portland area.
He was with his then-young pit bull, Dorje. The dog jumped up on me in a friendly way several times, and, as I recall, barked in a happy joyful way.
Jesse grabbed Dorge by the throat, shook it violently in the air, and threw it hard on the ground, causing Dorge to yelp in pain.
I literally saw red. I was so shocked, I got out of my seat and challenged him on it.
He said, “No, this is how you train pit bulls. You need to show them who is dominant. They don;t feel pain like we do.”
I left enraged and never saw Jesse alone again.
I heard from Jesse’s recent ex-girlfriend (whose identity I’ll protect for now). She said Jesse had not changed. He was worse.
By the way, Jesse’s ex told me Dorge was neurotic, full of anxiety, hard to control and unpredictable. She said Jesse claimed he had no idea how the dog got that way.
It may be, as Jesse said, in the way you train pit bulls.

Semi-Automatic Guns

Critic #2 wrote:

I thought Ruth was in a relationship with Jesse and stayed with him after some hard stuff.
I thought she bought a semi-automatic weapon online from another country, so that she could avoid the psychological evaluations one must go through when buying a gun in the USA.
Didn’t she also buy that semi-automatic weapon to heal herself from her neglect and difficulties at the ashram?
Didn’t she bring that gun down to that beach town where all the people from the ashram moved to after the Portland ashram closed?
Didn’t she walk up onto this guy Jesse Sweeney’s property at like 3 in the morning with her semi automatic weapon? Why exactly would she go on his property? Why would she bring her semi-automatic weapon to the town where all these people who wronged her moved?
Is she stable enough to have any gun, let alone a SEMI- AUTOMATIC GUN???

Ruth replies

I don’t know where you got this information, but it isn’t correct.

Yes, I went to Gold Beach with Jessica Becker. According to her, she contacted Jesse Sweeney and notified him we were coming. Jessica insisted it was OK to show up late.

She and I went there, hoping Jesse would do the right thing and share with law enforcement what he knew about Swami Chetanananda.

Jessica believed in Jesse more than I did, but I was willing to meet him.

Nobody wanted revenge or to cause any harm. Jesse lived in the deep woods in land with bears, wolves, coyotes and mountain lions.  Jessica insisted I bring my rifle, when we were to walk into the woods at night to get to where Jesse lived.

I drove legally with my rifle. I carried it legally. The parts you must register with the government are 100% legally registered and US made.

FYI, saying a rifle is semi-automatic is silly and perhaps an attempt to make me seem dangerous.

 All guns, except revolvers, shotguns, and bolt action rifles, are semi-automatic these days. Even a little purse gun is semi-automatic. 

I exercised my 2nd Amendment rights as a woman in a remote part of the state, and at the request of another woman.

Your comment makes me think you’re not one of the ashram higher-ups, because they know their gun rights. Sharon Ward carries a gun. Swami has many guns. Jesse probably has guns too.


Critic #3 wrote:

Isn’t Ruth Graham with a married man, and she tells people that she and her mate are polyamory’s, but did not sit down with her married boyfriend’s wife to confirm she was okay with this arrangement?
Doesn’t she point fingers at many others, yet she is doing so much damage in her own right to many others?
Having that online presence speaking out against trans people trans-women specifically – we aren’t “real” women, and she is afraid to use a bathroom with us. That alone says she believes any person who is, or was, a man, would rape if given a chance.
Pretty fearful of something that isn’t true at all. Rapists rape. Period.
I encourage Ruth to answer this and the other comment directly, and with her online commentary on Trans women. Make sure your hero is the person you truly want as a hero.

Ruth Replies

I think I know who wrote this, and it makes me sad to hear this from you. I encourage you to come forward with your real name and face. You are certainly not a trans woman, as you showed me pictures of your naked body. You are 100% female, not male.
You showed me these pictures without my consent, which I took as a red flag about your boundaries. You also sent me fully nude pictures of your ex-boyfriends without my consent, another boundary violation.
I assumed this was part of your lack of sobriety and trauma history, and asked you not to do it again.

One should not throw stones in glass houses. When you were an escort, how much were you paid to sleep with married men, not caring if their wives knew? Didn’t you confess to me that you sent naked pictures to a 14 year old boy a few years ago?


I had no opinion about trans issues when I lived in the ashram. So if I do now, does that make my story retroactively unworthy? Should victims not be believed due to political views?

But to clarify, I believe in your right to call yourself whatever you want, do whatever you want with your body, and dress accordingly. 

But I am against compelled speech, forcing others to insist on your reality of yourself.  It is my right to believe or say whatever I want about this issue.

Anyone can go on my Facebook and Instagram and see my views.  

I’m not here to be a hero. I’m here to share my story. This cult is venomous, it has poisoned many, it has attracted many poisonous minds.

You can disagree with my ideologies, you can disagree with my private life, but none of that is relevant.
Note for the above though: It’s polyamory and the adjective is polyamorous. And EVERYTHING in my private life was explicitly consensual. ALWAYS.

Critic #4 wrote:

Ruth Replies

This is 100% false. When Jesse went to Nepal, I moved to another floor in the Movement Center, away from him.
I quit being his friend by the time he returned from Nepal, because he promised to email me to update me on how he’s doing (affirming he’s not abusing women and girls) and he wouldn’t do that.
I was also very angry. I was a virgin before Jesse. It hurt to face that the first person I was intimate with was such a dark person. It also hurt that there was such clear favoritism regarding him.
It hurt to find out what he did in Nepal second hand, that he wasted every opportunity he was given and couldn’t reach out to a friend he promised to talk to for help.
There was a public incident of me calling him out, yelling at him, when he came back.

Critic #5 wrote:

Ruth and Jesse dated when she first came into the community. She behaved like an obsessed teenager and was extremely angry Jesse left to go on a trip and it resulted in him breaking up with her.

This article is riddled with inaccurate intel.

Like the fact Ruth didn’t live there 8 consecutive years. She lived there two separate times in an eight year span. Stretching the truth will not help anyone uncover the TRUTH about what has been going on. Blurring facts are only re-traumatizing the victims.

Ruth Replies

I behaved like an obsessed teenager? Well, as a point of clarification, I  was a teenager. I was 19.

Jesse was significantly older. But which one of us was the drug addict caught sleeping with prostitutes?

You say I didn’t live at the Movement Center for 8 consecutive years. It is true. I was in the cult for 10 years, but lived in the ashram for 8 years, but not consecutively. At one point, they kicked me out because I owed them $600. When I paid it, they were “so compassionate” they let me back in.

Next question?…

A note to Jesse Sweeney from Frank Parlato:

Jesse, the time has come for you to save yourself. The bricks are falling out of the building that once was the Swami Chetanananda. You know what he has done. He tried to fashion you in his image.

You can get immunity. You can help bring justice to the women Chetanananda hurt.

I gave this same advice to Allison Mack. She did not listen.

Do not make the same mistake. Call me, [305-783-7083] and I will help you get immunity. But, do not wait until it is too late, like poor Allison.

Your call will be absolutely confidential.

Allison Mack with her mother before reporting to prison.
Save yourself Jesse….

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  • Oops.

    I seem to have confused/conflated GBA’s post with another commenter’s post.

    For my mistake, I am honestly sorry from the bottom of my heart.

    Just kidding. 🙂

    Fuck you, GBA. I apologize to nobody. Eat shit, you lowly turd. 🙂

    As for Becker…

    GBA calling Jessica Becker a pathological liar should have been done with a few DETAILED examples, even if it’s true.

    People who make such grand claims about others, without providing any examples, are usually grandstanding and/or liars themselves.

    …And when GBA said that Ruth has somehow ruined her credibility by hitching her wagon to Becker —– GBA’s goal seems to be to protect the ashram.

    Just another anonymous ex-Swami-turd who won’t provide details to prove anything.

    • Becker’s reversal today seems rather expected by some people here, like GBA.

      There’s just something about the way GBA used the ‘trailer hitch’ phrasing to attempt to discredit Ruth, which makes me think that GBA knew about the Becker reversal. Could be a coincidence, but I’m doubting it. lol.

      I’m guessing that the Swami has gotten to Becker recently, promising her something.

      I just hope the other ex-members (Dan G., Jess Stirton, Ruth and others) aren’t getting ready to follow Jessica Becker’s reversal.

      I don’t think we’ll ever get the full story on Becker’s reversal. It’s very scripted and repetitive, as though a lawyer told her to make certain points crystal clear. lol.

      • I have nothing to do with this or any other ashram and I knew Jessica Becker had made a reversal days and days ago, if not even longer ago than that just from reading the comments here at FR…it was obvious she was the one going after Ruth for being supposedly transphobic and for going to Gold Beach with a gun…since Jessica was the one who went with her to Gold Beach with said gun.

        I think a lot of people who read these comments knew that Becker had changed her tune. Didn’t have to be an ashram insider to figure that one out.

  • Frank, the commenter with the moniker “Guilt By Association” seems like a poorly-disguised flying monkey —– who’s trying to discredit Ruth’s allegations by using obvious psychological ploys.

    For example… They first attempt to sympathize with Ruth as a victim, which allows them to ‘pretend’ that they’re not against Ruth and that they’re not here defending the ashram.

    But, in the very next sentence, they proceed to call her an unsafe pathological liar (without giving any detailed examples to backup their baseless claims).

    Only a flying monkey would be so ‘obvious’ about what their true goal is (while not backing up any of their statements with details). lol.

    It sounds like the ashram is sending out its flying monkeys to discredit Ruth.

    I’m guessing that means they’re afraid of her allegations.

    Your stories seem to be hitting a nerve with the Swami’s flying monkeys.

    Please keep up the pressure, Frank. 🙂

  • One of the worst problems with rape is that innocence seems to always be determined by the likability factor of the rapist versus the victim. If the rapist is super popular he’s always innocent. Just ask him and his groupies. Truth is it’s a very tiny percentage of people who lie about rape and even more scant those who lie about pedophilia. I don’t like some of these victims as people. Some of them are complete assholes IMO as a matter of fact. One want you to drop everything and stand for up for them but will slink off after that leaving you holding your sword with no one behind you. You’re a hoo hoo, dear. (; Another I
    find far more predator then prey. She’s a nightmare, I find her highly unlikable. That doesn’t ever make it ok to rape or abuse her. EVER. That’s fkd up. On that note, from things I’m observing? If you have been hurt please do not contact victims you don’t know even if they are putting their contact info out there. It’s a very bad idea. Everyone has different experiences with different people and unfortunately some want to play “favorite predator” and assert who is an abuser based solely on their own personal experience of them…. even interfere which is absolutely inappropriate. Call Frank or call any of the numbers listed for other professional types of support. RAINN is a wonderful organization. All of this is hard on people, they are not at their best and we don’t need anyone further traumatized even by the traumatized. Just because someone is a victim does not mean they are safe.

  • By the way Ruth? How did you get this amazing job? Who is your boss? How do you know him? did you meet your boyfriend’s wife? Who is this? Who am I? Maybe I am Jen? Am I Swami? How about Jessica? How about another student with Swami? Tell me Ruth, Can a person take another IP address?
    The existential question Rugh is …. WHO AM I?

  • Why isn’t Jessica Becker defending Ruth? Ruth states that she was with her on her trip to Gold Beach, I assume they’re friends. Did Jessica go back to the Swami? Is Jessica the one who is trying to discredit her by posting that she went to Jesse’s with a gun? Where are you Jessica?

    • I think Jessica Becker is Lila who is now saying she/it is transsexual. This is better than any soap opera or Netflix series.

      She got out. So can we.

      • Hitching her wagon to Jessica Becker was ONLY going to hurt her credibility especially with claims this explosive.

        I don’t think she can help it because she’s tragically broken but anyone who knows her has experienced her as a pathological liar.

        It’s an exhausting exercise in panhandling to find any gold glimmers of truth in her dump trucks of lies which is unfortunate because she really is a victim just not a very credible or safe one.

        • “but anyone who knows her has experienced her as a pathological liar”

          Who are you talking about? Jessica Becker or Ruth?

          • It’s actually possible to be BOTH a VICTIM AND PREDATOR, y’all.

            You know, like George Floyd for example.

            Just because someone is of low character doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to bring them harm or take advantage of their mental health/addiction issues. Criminal for a spiritual teacher to do that, doesn’t matter who it is or how “likable” they are.

            Common in that joint to see those VV hybrids. MS started out as a victim and look what it made of him.

            Predators are rarely born but made. Most start as victims in fact.

            Two opposing things can be true at once.

            And two wrongs don’t make a right.

            Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

        • Yes it’s very unfortunate that it’s come to this and is detracting from the very real abuse of students. But it also goes to show what an evil self-serving cunt that man is that he would exploit and use with someone so damaged. Helping people my ass. Helping himself and tossing away the carnage is more like it.

          • you do realize if this person is a pathological liar there is a good chance they lied about the alleged “abuse” they endured from the swami.

          • Can’t speak to that as I never met her. But it’s undeniable that what she said mirrors many other stories of abuse by that man, including other voices on FR.

  • Ruth Graham’s story has some very valid points. I am 100% in agreement with that. She was looking towards Sadhvi as a mentor, and Sadhvi failed in that role miserably. I agree with this. The notion that Lama Wangdu’s Granddaughters’ drugged Ruth, and she was raped by him is completely implausible. It is highly suspect. Ruth Grahams credibility is suspect because what she is omitting from her story is that she LOVED being at the Ashram–for years.
    She was experiencing positive energy there, that she had no chance of experiencing anywhere else. Plus, she was not a prisoner there. She was free to leave at any point in time. As far as her relationship with Jesse goes, I believe her, but at the same time she takes no responsibility for her actions in it. She was free to break up with him, at any point in time. Yet, here she: is blaming him, blaming Sadhvi, blaming everyone but herself. It’s irresponsible, and it’s also (to some extent), revisionist history.
    I personally witnessed someone in the Ashram walk up to Ruth Graham, and say to her face during a dinner clean-up crew “you, little trouble maker, you”. I saw it with my own eyes. This person said that to Ruth because there was a lot of truth to it. Unfortunately, Swami is the one who creates the environment for guess what to occur: the worst to come out in everyone! Including him. It’s “jerks in both directions”. Once again, Fig’s observations are dead on.

      • Fig wrote: “The notion that Lama Wangdu’s Granddaughters’ drugged Ruth, and she was raped by him is completely implausible.”

        Why is it implausible? Because they were his granddaughters, or is there another reason? If it’s because it seems unlikely that granddaughters would do such a thing for their grandpa, it could happen if he had abused and groomed them to act as his flying monkeys/procurers.

        A FR blog post says this:

        “Cindy Travis had this to say about Swami Chetanananda, who, in turn, had something to say about Wangdu” “I remember being invited to Swami Chetanananda’s apartment for an “energy treatment.”
        During the craniosacral treatment, he informed me that “Mr. Wangdu” had initiated ALL of his daughters and granddaughters into sex.”

        Of course, Swami Chet could have been lying.


    • Fig – Why do you feel so confident about your assumptions regarding wangdu? What motive do you anticipate would drive Ruth to fabricate that event?

      Plenty of people who were abused and assaulted at the ashram loved being there for years. That’s one of the main pillars of why it’s such a powerful type of manipulation.

    • Fig,

      This is a thoughtless response and the fact that your hiding your identity makes you suspect. If you lived at the ashram and witnessed Ruth’s behavior directly than tell is who you are.

      I did alot of drugs and alcohol when I lived at the ashram. I could have and should have left at any time. Life’s not that simple, and when you make it that black and white you’re removing the nuance from the conversation.

      Remember Brock Turner? The kid that raped a women who was passed out drunk by a dumpster? Remember how many people said it’s her fault for getting raped because of how much she drank, where she was, and what she was wearing? Shouldn’t the cultural response from a man finding a women in that state be to protect her? Pick her up and take her to a hospital, or at the very least call an ambulance for her aid?

      She could be drunk, she could be poor, she could be mentally ill, homeless, or suffering from a traumatic childhood experience. People get trapped into situations for all kinds of reasons.

      I loved the ashram for years when I lived there. I still love some of the people who I met there. I still love the love of my life who is my wife who I met there.

    • Sorry, Mr. Fig, but your own analysis of Ruth’s story is woefully lacking.

      Firstly, it’s COMMON SENSE that Ruth loved some ‘part’ of being at the ashram —– otherwise, she wouldn’t have remained there for 8 years. Duh. lol.

      Many people who get abused (in various relationships) also ‘love’ some part of their abuser or environment —- which is why they often stay for years and put up with the abuse, before finally leaving.

      In Ruth’s case, she was abused by several people, in different ways.

      The Swami’s Portland Compound had become her ‘home’ and ‘residence’ for many years —- and the ‘cult’ had become her whole life for many years.

      Therefore, calling out these abuses would have meant immediate banishment (probably being tossed out within 24 hours) from her home and way of life at the time.

      Secondly, Ruth’s allegations about Lama Wangdu contain certain omissions which tell me that she’s not fabricating anything.

      Pathological liars (like the UVA rape hoax liar) create outlandish lies which are intended to do ‘maximum’ harm.

      Ruth’s story does NOT do maximum harm to Lama Wangdu. That’s how I know it’s likely true.

      For example… If Ruth was lying about Lama Wangdu, she wouldn’t have admitted that she NEVER witnessed him raping/penetrating her (she says that she only remembers being in a drugged-like state, lying naked on a bed, with him ‘smacking his lips’ grossly at her — while being told to get dressed and leave).

      That’s a very incomplete story if her goal was to inflict maximum harm on Lama Wangdu.

      If she was really lying and trying to do maximum harm —– she’d have said that she vividly remembers him actually penetrating her without her consent while she was partially drugged.

      But she didn’t say that, which means she’s likely telling the truth — since her own story isn’t as harmful as a lie would have been.

      That’s just basic common sense, bro.

      There’s also another person (Cindy Travis) who said that the Swami personally told her that Lama Wangdu initiated each of his own daughters & grand-daughters into sex — according to Frank’s article.

      Whether it’s true or not isn’t important, it’s only important that the Swami TOLD her that.

      Thus, I tend to believe what Ruth is saying about Lama Wangdu.

      As for your comment about someone walking up to Ruth at dinner and saying: “you little trouble maker, you” —– how the fuck does that prove she was a troublemaker or liar?

      She was obviously hated by many people at the ashram, judging from the negative comments here.

      On a different note…

      Your own criticisms of the Swami are very gentle, almost deliberately so —- which tells me that you cannot admit, even to yourself, that you spent years worshipping a perverted animal.

      Have a nice day, Mr. Fig. 🙂

      • Just to clarify:

        Lama Wangdu obviously raped her. There’s no question about that.

        But, a pathological liar would have embellished her story even further.

        Pathological liars don’t tell ‘incomplete’ stories like that — because they can’t resist creating elaborate lies to help erase any doubt.

      • “She was obviously hated by many people at the ashram, judging from the negative comments here.”

        I don’t know if this is the case. But it is definitely the same old attitude from the older long-term members of the community. Even the ones saying young people were treated badly, are still here today treating the young people badly. Anyone that’s not been there 40 years and not in their little clique within this cult will get looked down on and personal attacks thrown their way, imo. Valid or just someone’s own negativity projected outward onto someone perceived as weaker. Well Ruth ain’t weaker anymore. It’s likely another reason why many aren’t coming forward. Leaving after being abused, it takes more than a decade to recover and you never really do. Those wounds don’t heal. You just eventually start to grow into someone new. Just a lot less bright than before.

        The array of criticism from Ruth’s detractors range from she’s lying about a rape, to a “trouble-maker” with zero evidence except that some random person said it one day, to not being there long enough to made a valid commentary of that rat’s nest, to a narcissist because she’s got the guts to stand up when none of you criticizing her will. It’s all very tedious to read. We are all on the same side of this thing. It’s sadly reflective of exactly what this place was like under the surface.

        As an aside, there were people there 40 years that didn’t have a clue what was happening behind closed doors, so time spent there means nothing. You could be there 1 year and know more than at least half the people in that place at any one time. Heck, if you were really close, you’d know more than anyone else. So that is simply bullshit.

        Like I said in another comment. You want to criticize, bring the receipts. All I see is a personal agenda and it’s not a good look.

  • I just wanted to take a moment to agree with my esteemed colleague, Mr. Aristotle’s Sausage.

    Outlawing the AR-15 would eliminate thousands of deaths per year in the United States —– it would also make our country much safer overall.

    Assigning penalties of 20 years in prison (or longer) for selling or owning an AR-15 would solve our nation’s gun problems —– by making it nearly impossible to possess these guns.

    Why can’t Dan or Ruth see this logic?

    Legislation works.

    For example, the United States has outlawed importing & dealing cocaine — with penalties of 20 years to LIFE in prison — which has totally eliminated cocaine from the United States, and has totally solved our drug problems.

    Oh, wait. My bad.

    Apparently, I was mistaken, since drug importation is higher than ever. 🙂

    Apparently, I was using the logic of an IMBECILE.

    Please forgive me. 🙂

    Fact is, laws never eliminate anything.

    Also, if millions of undocumented workers (human beings) can cross the border with impunity, then how difficult would it be to get millions of guns across the border illegally, if they were outlawed? LOL.

    BTW: Mexico has very tough gun laws (it’s much tougher for private citizens to own guns in Mexico than in the US) —- yet the gun violence rate in Mexico far exceeds the US (per capita).

    And most of Mexico’s guns don’t come from the US, they come from their southern border.

    Fact is, criminals will ALWAYS be able to get guns —- and outlawing the AR-15 won’t do a fucken thing to make our country safer.

    I read that, from 2007 thru 2017, the total number of AR-15 homicides was only 175 (about 17 per year).

    Even if you wanna use statistics from another source — the number is still gonna be a low one.

    Yet, the number of people murdered by knives is much higher.

    So, why is the AR-15 perceived as the greatest threat?

    Guess what?

    Kids are dying by the thousands, in Africa, due to not having enough food to eat —– while IMBECILES, like Aristotle’s Sausage, couldn’t care less about them (because he’s too focused on eliminating the few deaths caused each year by the ‘evil’ AR-15).

    The anti-gun-nuts are getting very ‘creepy’ with their strong belief in fairy tales.

  • Are you a cult apologist?
    “I got mine-ism” (IGM)

    An apologist is a person who argues in favor of something unpopular. If you’re an apologist for cults and for J. Michael Shoemaker, you would argue that even though some people might have been harmed, such harm is the fault of the person and the benefits received from being associated with Shoemaker and his cult make up for any individual damage. Apologists tend to be seen in a negative light, as defensive people who make excuses.

    Since Frank Parlato began publishing articles about J. Michael Shoemaker, aka Swami Chetanananda, several commentators have been published that support Shoemaker and his cultish activities. Jami Currin wrote that she was never pressured to have sex with Shoemaker. Did she leave the impression that those who were sexually abused by Shoemaker took it upon themselves, were open to abuse? Is she a cult apologist? Does she blame the victim?

    What about Dr. Alexis Sanderson, is he a cult apologist? He stood up for Shoemaker in the Richard Read, Oregonian newspaper articles. “Alexis Sanderson, a professor of Eastern religions and ethics at Oxford University in England who has lectured at Chetanananda’s ashram, says the swami is a “generous-hearted and pleasant individual” who leads an open and tolerant group. “Accusations of sexual malpractice are the standard way of attacking religious practitioners,” Sanderson says. Taken from Richard Read’s article, In the Grip of the Guru, Part 1 (and there are five parts to this series!) Dr. Sanderson sounds like a cult apologist to me.

    There are also comments that support narratives of peaceful and calm deaths for Laura Modena and Dr. John Bonner. Such narratives give the impression that such deaths would have been impossible outside the ‘loving embrace” of the cultic community. Who knows what type of death they could or would have had outside the cult, there are hospice services that respect the natural process of death and that provide respectful, professional, caring support for families and their loved ones.

    Laura Modena, Dr. John Bonner, Al DeWit , Louise (Pat) Shoemaker and Phyllis Rudolph were immersed in an abusive cult environment that exploited the labor of others. Who cooked and washed dishes for the common meals? Who cleaned the hallways, the windows, took out the trash, worked on the grounds, ordered the food? Many of these services were provided by residents who paid “tuition” and had to provide “seva” labor. While they were peacefully dying, Shoemaker was abusing and exploiting his “loved ones” (as he calls them). We have read the narratives of those who have been abused and who have escaped, like Ruth, Jes, Jessica and Dan.

    The lates Laura Modena, Dr. John Bonner, Al DeWit, Louise (Pat) Shoemaker and Phyllis Rudolph (Rudi’s sister-in-law) were all in a residence or frequently in attendance at the Movement Center. All of them were “vulnerable adults” due to their age, over 65 or their frail physical condition. As vulnerable adults, they had certain legal protections from abuse and exploitation. The Movement Center, where they were residents or students, was the site of drug use, sexual abuse, labor exploitation, financial scams, BDSM sessions, alleged nonconsensual strangulations and fraudulent recruiting. A social work assessment based on the actual living conditions of these vulnerable adults would have raised questions about their safety in such an abusive environment.

    What happened to Liz and Natacha? They were not protected from self-harm by the loving embrace of their “cultic siblings”. Shoemaker promoted rivalry, isolation, back biting, gossip and judgement. Where is the love, support and friendship in such a system? Shoemaker put his “favorites” ahead of all others and promoted dysfunctional dynamics that undercut the formation of social bonds where he was not the center of attention.

    There are Facebook posts that show Dr. John Bonner in a Movement Center hallway with his son and daughter in law, welcoming Natacha back to her life of BDSM misery. Natacha is in her hospital bed, back brace and mind-controlled condition. Did anyone tell Dr. John Bonner about what was being done to Natacha? Shoemaker’s abuse was hidden and covered up by his “loved ones”, his cult gang, his inner circle, that included Dr. John Bonner’s family, Andrew and Becky.
    Drs. Rebecca Resse and Andrew Bonner have been licensed medical providers in Oregon. They took an oath to do no harm and to report abuse. Instead, according to comments published in response to Frank’s articles, Dr. Andrew Bonner advised a young woman student of Shoemaker’s to run if Shoemaker began to take off his pants. Given such a comment, Dr. Andrew Bonner must have been aware of Shoemaker’s alleged sexual abuse. Why didn’t he speak out? If the Bonner/Resse family knew of these abuses, why didn’t they look for a safer place for Dr. John Bonner? They couldn’t because they too where under the coercive control of Shoemaker and his inner circle. Their loyalty to Shoemaker was paid back by being expelled from the Movement Center and perhaps from their Shoemaker owned medical offices. (Perhaps others have more information about Dr. Andrew Bonner’s student loans, taken out to become a naturopath at the insistence of Shoemaker? Or the cost of medical office rent?)

    Dr. Andrew Bonner paid a medical visit to a victim of Shoemaker’s after one of his “sessions”. The victim was unable to walk, the victim was peeing on towels because no bed pans or toilet were available. The victim was suffering from post-concussion syndrome and could not walk. He did nothing to help the victim. Dear Molly, of whom we have read so much, carried out the soiled towels and cleaned the room after the victim was taken to the hospital, once again, on a stretcher. Why was there no help for this victim?

    Matthew Remski, a survivor of two cultic experiences put it well, “I’ll preface this post by saying that, in accordance with the clinical research, I do not believe there are strong correlations between prior life experience and the likelihood that a person will join or stay in a cult (or “totalist”, or “high-demand” group.) What follows is a speculation, based on memory and anecdote, on why people who are already inside such a group may be more prone to the kind of enabling and moral harm that Facebook friend Joseph Teskey has described to me as “I got mine-ism” (IGM).

    IGM is a defensive strategy by which a member who has not (or believes they have not) directly experienced abuse or institutional betrayal within the group deflects stories of abuse within the group by immediately self-referring, saying things like: “I don’t know about other’s experience; I find/found the teacher/teachings to be profoundly helpful in my life.” The statement is usually couched within an unwillingness to act on behalf on victims or mitigate future harm.” http://matthewremski.com/wordpress/the-unbearable-smugness-of-i-got-mine-ism-amongst-cult-and-ex-cult-members/
    Stop being a cult apologist, stop using the defense of I got mine-ism. Tell your story of abuse, institutional betrayal or blind loyalty and great benefits that this wicked and evil cult has provided to you. For many it has only left a trail of destruction and tears and put Shoemaker in a life of luxury and ease at the expense of his “loved ones”.

    • Well said. And this “Shoemaker put his “favorites” ahead of all others and promoted dysfunctional dynamics that undercut the formation of social bonds where he was not the center of attention.”

      1000 times this. Isolation and secrecy, the name of the game.

  • Anonymous wrote on
    September 8, 2022 at 10:56 pm
    Physical evidence. Does anyone have any??? Law enforcement doe not give a crap about he said/he said/she said/ she said/ she said/ she said. Bottom line. What you have here is called G-O-S-S-I-P.

    Do you understand D-A-R-V-O?
    One common reaction to someone escaping a cult is the cry from bystanders to go to the authorities. My own experience has been that it is a rare cult escapee or family member who can convince law enforcement to take any action. When statements were provided to the police and social services by ex- members in 2019, when the cult was still situated in the Movement Center in Portland, full of “loved ones” (as Shoemaker calls his flying monkeys) who knew what was going on there, not one law enforcement officer or social service worker went to the Center to ask questions.

    As I wrote in the article Frank published, Mother of Victim: Were You Abused by Swami Chetanananda? You can ask Christine Mascal to listen to your interview with Detective Wollstein or Paul Chang, the Western Region Coordinator for Human Trafficking, 714-418-8620, Chang.Paul@dol.gov. Detective Wollstein or Paul Chang will need to apply the state or federal statutes to determine if what was done to you or others is a crime, and if it falls within the statute of limitations regarding when the crime occurred. Using these criteria, if your complaint is considered not a “crime” and you suffered harm and abuse, there is the opportunity for a civil settlement.

    Christine Mascal can help you gain a civil settlement. Civil settlements require a lower bar of evidence. 503-320-1020, cmascal@mascal-law.com

    Carol Merchasine is also available to consult regarding both a criminal and/or civil complaint. cmmerchasin@gmail.com

    Everyone who has been harmed by Shoemaker and his group can use the Frank Report to expose what was done to them or to others. with or without “physical evidence”. The Frank Report is a space (not sure how safe a space) but it is a space where experiences can be exposed. The articles can help to bring to light the 50 years of cultic abuse that Shoemaker and his gang have heaped on their “loved ones”. (that is what Shoemaker calls his flying monkeys on his Instagram posts) This harm has all been done through cultic coercive control.

    Coercive control is a pattern of psychologically abusive behavior that is used to manipulate someone into doing what the manipulator wants, without physical abuse, though physical abuse may also be present, and the threat of physical abuse is a common method of coercive control. In Oregon, Coercion is a Class C felony. In defining coercive control keep in mind that there is no need for a psychological disorder or injury to conclude that there is a criminal offense, because the process of undermining an individual’s free will IS the offense. In a legal sense, judges and juries (and those who leave comments on Frank’s articles) can have a hard time understanding how someone can claim they have been taken advantage of when they seemed to be a willing participant or handed over their money or belongings voluntarily. But with an understanding of coercive control, this becomes much more straightforward.

    I also see DARVO appearing in the comments on the Frank Report, that is, deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender. It refers to a reaction that alleged perpetrators of wrongdoing, and maybe cult apologists, particularly sexual offenders, display in response to being exposed or held accountable for their behavior. All these comments about “where is the evidence”, this is “just gossip”, are DARVO statements. What percentage of rapes are reported to law enforcement and what percentage of rape and sexual assault crimes that are reported end up in a conviction? According to Rainn, https://www.rainn.org/statistics/criminal-justice-system, 975 out of 1,000 rapists will never go to jail or prison. It is too hard on the sexual assault survivor to go through the trauma all over again that the criminal justice system puts the survivor through. Most just don’t report their sexual abuse.

    Statements from survivors on the Frank Report bring out more statements from other survivors. A history of abuse has been built on the Frank Report from Pinky, 50 years ago through the “Leaving Nityananda” letter, to the current abuses being reported. Law enforcement is responsible for building a case, collecting evidence, and bringing charges. Survivors can tell their experiences and support and validate each other. Some may report to law enforcement, others might seek a civil settlement, still others will not speak publicly about their abuse, that is their choice.

    “Where is the evidence?” it is in the words of the survivors on the Frank Report and in the police reports that are being generated, it is in the luxury lifestyle of Shoemaker and in the Facebook posts of his “loved ones”, who then disappear when they are harmed. Where are the happy photos of Jessica? of Natacha? Where are the smiling faces of Andrew Bonner and Rebecca Reese? Where is bliss filled Faith? Where is enlightened Andrew Sheppard? Where is overworked and exploited Ruth? Where is Megan, she was pictured as a joyfull “seva” volunteer. Where is Liz, she is dead. Where is dedicated Molly, in a low income apartment? Where is energetic Liliana? Where is culinary Tom? Where is dish washing Chuck? Where is Jessie Sweeney, the workout champ and his rich mother? Have they left? It seems that they all have left Shoemaker, who is an evil cult leader and a traumatizing narcissist.

  • God damn.

    I thought more people would be supporting Ruth’s long ordeal.

    Instead, we’ve got a few haters trying to hijack this topic by turning it into a story about Ruth’s guns.

    Why would anybody here give 2 shits about Ruth’s guns? It has nothing to do with her ordeal.

    Then, we’ve got other people trying to derail this topic by turning it into a ‘transgender’ debate.

    What the fuck? Did I miss something? Why are people fixating on that?

    In other words, everybody’s ignoring the meat & potatoes of Ruth’s story — while fixating on the trivial shit, in an effort to tear her down.

    Then, we’ve got other assholes — probably flying monkeys still supporting the Swami — trying to turn this into a ‘personal’ thing.

    …And to think she probably lived among these same juvenile backbiters for years.

    How could anybody keep their sanity while living in this type of insane environment?

    Yet, amazingly enough, Ruth has not only held her own against all detractors —– but she’s calmly and meticulously answered all factual questions.

    Ruth is winning this debate.

    It’s rare to see one person whooping the asses of a room full of drunken fools. 🙂

    • It is the old playbook, “a good defense is a strong offense”. Putting the victim on the defensive takes the attention away from the crime. Diversion. Here’s a suggestion… Since liable and slander are actionable offenses… Sharon Ward and Shoemaker are welcomed to take action to defend themselves. It certainly wouldn’t cost them anything in attorney fees since there are attorneys (including Sharon Ward) in the group. Of course that would mean that they would have to prove the stories were not true and subject themselves to discovery. Oops… Maybe better to victim bash.

    • She didn’t have an eight year long ordeal. She was there once for a year or two and left for years. Never came to any classes or anything between her two stays in the Ashram. And then moved back in for however long, another year or two.

      That equals 3-4 years not 8-10. The years in between she was not present and openly despised everyone there. I’m pretty darn shocked to find out she ever went back. Too bad the second round wasn’t any better than the first.

      • This is obviously by an ashram supporter. I welcome details on the exact dates especially on my first time when I was a teenager and my memory is fuzzy esp since I was working very hard at that time going to school on top of everything else. Second time I know I was there from mid 2010 to 2014 Feb and I know I didnt miss class. I wasnt allowed to.

        There are so many people there I miss to this day, Laurie Sanders, Molly, Doreen, Laura M, Liz B, Michael B, Vivi and Tuscany, Sam, Constance, Claudia, and more. They by themselves as individuals did not represent the practice or leadership of that place though. In the end I had to face that and it was very difficult.

      • I was in the cult from 2004 (move in date I don’t exactly remember, it was so long ago, it could have been 2005, but I was pretty sure I was attending classes by 2004) – to (Mid) 2007 and from July 2010- Feb 2014. I also attended every evening class for the whole time I was there, it was often demanded that I arrange my school around it by Sharon. I didn’t have a car for most of my time there and never left the grounds for years at a time, except for outside work and school.

        In the years I lived there I not even once got a vacation of any sort. So this is said by someone actively lying or who was not there when I was there.

        I also still miss many people from there and it hurts to hear this said, including Sarah Mocas (RIP), Brenda, Constance, Connie D, Kelly P, Rio H, Sam, Lenore B (RIP), Doreen, Liz B (RIP), Patty S (RIP) and many many others. Too many to count. It wasn’t easy, but I still look up to many of the people who lived there who were at least to me, kind. I can’t speak for others opinions of them ofc. But I liked them.

          • Ruth, I believe you made an error saying that Sara Mocas had died. I believe she is alive and well.

          • OOPS that’s another mess up thanks! I think she’s still around and still at GB. I meant to include Laura Modena as the RIP, and I think I was going back and forth editing the comment thinking who to add and not, and who had died and not, feeling all kinds of mixed feelings, and I got emotionally overwhelmed realizing how many people had passed. My brain had a glitch or two I’ll confess. I also miss Phyllis a lot which might surprise some people. I loved her very much. Its really hard because I lived with so many people and had such an abrupt cut from all of them and then had to hear that so many passed via second hand. Which is actually really hard to hear.

    • Sounds to me like a certain someone has moved on from the divine Lauren Salzman.
      Eh, Bangkok?

      I bid you good night. 😉

  • Frank,

    If you are going to use my comment as an “attack” please use my actual words.

    I said “Pretty intense allegations about Jesse Sweeny”. Are they not? Is that an attack?

    I said “Did he do these things to you”,

    I suggest you write that I actually said. Also if I wanted to attack you would know it. I simply was hoping for full disclosure. This is a god damn snake pit. I learn new things every day that knocks the wind out of me.

    It would also be nice Frank, when people take hours to write articles or anything for that matter that you print them as they write it. I imagine it was mentioned in somewhere in those 8 pages and you decided to leave it out?

    I don’t think you would appreciate your writing being treated like this and I get it’s “your blog” but these are OUR actual life experiences and stories.

    I wrote that because I KNEW it would bite her not to mention it and I was correct. This isn’t NXIVM. You knew those people personally. You do not know these people. It’s different.

    No I was NOT attacking Ruth. I would just like to know what the fuck is going on. This being true is a personal betrayal that only the people who know me there, and the ones that purposely concealed from me would know.

    Maybe leave people’s articles in their entirety and there will be less attacks and I’m hoping that appeals to you. There is enough pain here and I would hate to think this is a form of entertainment for you.

    • I agree what you posted wasn’t an attack.

      The trans issues/polyamory/extramarital affair/gun toting posts kind of seemed like an attack. I disagree with Ruth and others on trans issues etc, but I don’t see how that is related at all to her experiences at the ashram.

  • Aside from disclosing a relationship with Jesse, the criticisms have nothing to do with Ruth’s credibility or her contributions to understanding her experience and the roles of others at the ashram.

  • RE Ruth:

    1. Everything Ruth has said is completely believable. She hasn’t said one fanciful/melodramatic thing. Her anonymous critics don’t have anything concrete to say so they twist the truth to fit their BS narrative.

    2. Ruth has moved on with her life and has a career. She seems far from the jilted lover she is accused of being.

    3. Regarding the firearms and polyamory: Ruth, owns up to it and admits she owns a rifle is polyamorous. So what!

    4 Additionally she clearly states she isn’t transphobic. She states,
    “ I’m against compelled speech, forcing others to insist on your reality of yourself.”

    Personally, I have been told “it’s more correct to refer to yourself as CISGENDERED.” I support Gay rights also, however, I’ll never be told or forced – how to refer to myself. Not happening!

    To Everyone at the Ashram,

    If you harbor any machinations at striking back at Ruth – it’d be a big mistake!
    Frank Parlato via his battle with NXIVM has cultivated a vast array of law enforcement and media contacts. He is the invisible hand which took down NXIVM.
    Keith Raniere stated, as much in a jailhouse recording, “perhaps our greatest enemy can be our savior.”

    Your Ashram has all the makings and trappings of a great news story and an excellent topic for documentary. Imagine seeing yourselves on Netflix or HBO!

    I don’t speak for Frank.

    Take care shitheads!

  • How Queen Elizabeth II made Pedophile Jimmy Savile head of Britain’s largest Mental Hospital
    Jimmy Savile hospital accusations

  • “You are certainly not a trans woman, as you showed me pictures of your naked body. You are 100% female, not male.”

    there is a thing called sex reassignment surgery. If done well it will look like the real thing, especially in pictures.

    • The vaginas are made out of colon, it’s literally a “butt in front”. No, they rarely look like the real thing. It’s a gruesome process actually. It’s literally a perpetually “open wound” that has to be kept open with help. This person has also claimed to have given birth. Please educate yourself. A very small number of trans women actually elect to have this surgery because it’s a constant fight with a body desperate to reject it. https://youtu.be/z1ZWX5r_0MI

      • If you were born a bio male and had full sex reassignment surgery, you will appear female in a naked photo due to the obvious absence of the penis. Regardless of how different from “the real thing” the surgically created labia might appear upon close inspection.

    • They are an ashram survivor. They are not a transwoman. And no, you cannot. Hips don’t lie. Fat distribution doesn’t lie. Smell doesn’t lie. Bone structure doesn’t lie.

        • Can is not will or is. “Could/can” is appealing to a maybe which is empty argument. You CAN put stripes on a dog. Does it fool people into thinking they are a tiger? I dont know a Lila. Never met a Lila in my life, trans or not. But I do think I know who posted this. Do you know them? Am I wrong?

          If you do know them id really really like to be proven wrong and they are one of the tiny tiny tiny percentages of trans women who pass, with bottom surgery, hair implants (for the balding), orchiectomy, boob job (including areolas and nipples) and all. They would also be the most female height sized and female bone-structure owning trans woman ive ever seen in my entire life. It would be less tragicomic than this, actually. It would be an interesting development in many ways.

          • The fact that it “can” means that “fat distribution doesn’t lie” is false. “Scent doesn’t lie” is false.

            I don’t know “Lila” but someone else dropped a hint in the comments about who they think it is. Why would this person lie about being trans? And if they are lying about being trans I guess they are likely lying about everything else they’ve said?

            One physical giveaway is bio males have a prominent brow ridge compared to bio females. It can be reduced in surgery though.

          • @WTF I think that’s the bigger question. If “Lila” is that person, then wtf is going on. Are these attacks on Ruth from The Church of Drugs and BDSM or from this person?

    • Hi all. I just wanted to let everyone know- including Ruth- that I have not commented at all on any of the articles since you saw my name.
      I stopped all contact and fighting over this issue because it caused me and others harm. To be transparent, I ended up using hard drugs for two days straight, after drinking copious amounts of booze while I was involved with this campaign.
      I was not coersed into anything I did with Swami Chetanananda. I am a little too curious of a person, and I suffer from arrogance, which led me to flirting with him on my own, and then getting into a consensual sexual relationship with him.
      I do not know the reason why I decided to turn on him, or the lineage of this practice that has literally saved my life. This includes Swami Chetanananda. I do not think it really matters. The thing that matters now is to move forward, I do my practice, and listen to those who have 💯 percent helped me and have never been wrong with any advice.
      I really do not care what he or anyone else thinks of me, but I am forever grateful that he opened the door to a practice that has done so much for me. He is too intense for me sexually, and feel a bit foolish that I consensually bit off more than I could chew because of my arrogance and curiosity, but that is all. I do not feel he did anything wrong, and between the risk he took on me, and my strength, he actually helped me more than I can say in words.
      I wish everyone well. Thanks

  • What would Jesse Sweeney need immunity for? Not emailing his girlfriend when he was in Nepal? It seems to me like Ruth is trying to punish him for being a bad boyfriend 10 years ago. It also sounds like she is bitterly envious that his family has money.

    Now that I think of it, she also seemed very bitter in comments on some of the earlier posts by Jessica Becker saying that she guesses the swami never took sexual advantage of her (Ruth) because she wasn’t good enough due to having bad teeth, or so she said. It almost sounded like she was angry that the swami didn’t choose her as a sex partner.

    Ruth is going to completely destroy any chance of a case for legit wrongs against her by publishing this stuff online. She needs to work closely with a lawyer or other legal advisor. Going on a smear campaign against anyone and everyone including an ex-boyfriend is not going to help strengthen her case for valid claims. In my opinion it reflects very badly on her that she has a voice at this blog and she seized the chance to trash her ex-boyfriend while concealing that he ever was her ex-boyfriend. Very shady.

    I believe she probably was victimized with this unpaid labor, but she is seriously undermining her credibility here.

    • She’s not undermining her credibility at all. If you think going solely with a lawyer is the best route, you clearly haven’t been to many lawyers.

      She answered honestly and reasonably. She’s 36. The idea that she’s now retaliating against a boyfriend from a decade ago is unlikely.

      Ruth’s experiences are similar to those of others. Plenty of people have spoken about Jesse’s role in the ashram.

      Ruth’s done a fantastic job describing her experience and answering to her critics.

    • Can you copy paste said comments here please? Im pretty sure I didnt imply anything. I think its also important to show what is said. Seeming like something isnt saying something. Trying to rationalize why i wasnt attacked is part of survivors guilt. However by talking to more victims i understood he has no “type.” I never was envious of people having sex with that very ugly man. Even when he was my guru. I think I know who this is, and I never met you, but you sure like to pretend you know me. Its been over 15 years since I was harmed by Jesse.

      • Ruth wrote: “Can you copy paste said comments here please? […]I think its also important to show what is said.”

        OK so maybe then you can understand why “it is well known…it is alleged…” etc with not even a quote from someone to show what was said makes it sound like baseless, malicious gossip. And then we find out that you were hiding your 2+ year relationship with the guy. It is common knowledge that exes will often have malicious agendas against their former partners. There is a good chance you have no malicious agenda against him, but It would have reflected better on your level of honesty if you had said “in the interest of full disclosure I was in a relationship with his man for 2+ years that didn’t end well.” Perhaps that responsibility is on Frank as the editor of this piece. That hidden info made me as a reader feel like I can’t trust what you say.

        Whereas when you give first person statements “this is what happened to me a guy tried to stick his tongue down my throat in the kitchen” That bears some weight compared to just a vague “it is well known”. When the source of info is kept so extremely vague it comes across as suspect to the reader.

        I’m just giving my reaction as a reader to these blog posts. It is nothing personal against you. But obviously I don’t know you so I can only use my life experience and intelligence to evaluate whether what I think you are saying is credible. And hiding key information like a 2+ year relationship with the person you are trashing is just suspect.

        I’m sure you can understand. It’s like if you read an opinion piece in the newspaper where a man is trashing a woman’s character and making all sorts of accusations about what is “well known” about her degenerate criminal behavior but not giving anything to back it up. Then you find out later that’s his ex-wife he wrote about, and the relationship ended badly, but he didn’t reveal that pertinent info. Wouldn’t you then doubt just about everything he wrote about her?

        I am probably over-explaining the obvious. But I’m not some meanie who just comes in here wanting to make people feel bad. I actually do have a conscience which is why I would not want to see someone like Jesse unfairly trashed unless there is truth to what is being said of course. That’s all.

        • I’m copy pasting what I already said to you, which you seem to continue to ignore.

          I’m not the only partner he abused. There are others who haven’t come out yet. What I shared so far isn’t just from me. But to protect them and me, I can’t specify what it is.

          Frank is trying to protect them as well. Not just me. I am happy with his editing, but again I’m not a journalist. What I wrote was excessively long and repetitive. It was hard to get out.

          Would you like Frank to acknowledge your suggestions? You can contact him personally, his contact info is on the right.

          In general, your “concern” (which I took as you framing yourself as an ally to cult survivors as stated in another comment). Theres a word for it. Its what sockpuppets do aka trolls. Its called concern trolling.


          I think, especially with your attacks on me about my private views, go way beyond genuine concern.

          See also:


          I dont want you to silence yourself. I welcome your comments. I’m just sharing my opinion as a reader of them.

          • I feel like your pasting insulting definitions and calling me a troll for asking questions is an attack on me, tbh. I’m sorry you’re offended if anyone asks a question. I get the feeling you have a lot of experience being an online troll. I’m waiting for you to start attacking someone for misspelling a word.

    • Unknown to yourself there are other people who have horrible stories about Jesse Sweeney that haven’t spoken about it yet. Women who were with him recently. As more people come forward, your comments won’t age well. See the thing is….myself and other survivors of the ashram talk to each other regularly. We talk to people who just left or left a while ago. They may not want to speak out and use their names yet, but the support structure is building. You’re a fool if you don’t understand that what’s happening is the foundation for a case is being laid down.

      • “Unknown to yourself there are other people who have horrible stories about Jesse Sweeney that haven’t spoken about it yet.”

        That’s right. Unknown to me. Don’t get pissed at me for just going on the information that is available to me to read at this blog. I’m a bad person because I don’t know your secret information? Whatever.

        People who are brand-new to this info are going to have questions and doubts that people who are involved and who know everyone personally and are talking about everything privately will of course not have. Get used to it.

      • Great, Dan! Bring out the info on Sweeney… I have zero doubt he has his own BDSM lure, probably did some damage, and was one of Chet’s Coke suppliers along with Jimmy and Jen. F them all. Chet was grooming Jesse as his successor mostly because anyone else with an ounce of integrity had already left due to Chet’s a-hole behavior.

  • Critic #2 wrote
    “I thought she bought a semi-automatic weapon online from another country, so that she could avoid the psychological evaluations one must go through when buying a gun in the USA.”

    So much incorrect information!

    You can’t buy a firearm online. You can order online but you still have to pick it up at a licensed firearm dealer, present ID and fill out an ATF 4473 form, then wait for your application to clear the NICS FBI criminal database.

    Second bit of misinformation is the notion that you have to clear some sort of psych evaluations. Nope. There’s a line on the form where you’re supposed to self-report if you’ve ever been institutionalized or judged “mentally incompetent”. That’s it.

    There are countries where you do have to be evaluated by a shrink to buy a gun. Those are countries where there aren’t mass shootings every couple of weeks.

    It’s not just the misinformation of Critic #2 that gives me pause. Ruth’s reply contains this gem:

    “The [gun] parts you must register with the government are 100% legally registered and US made”

    That part is called the receiver it’s the trigger / cartridge transport system, the heart of the gun and the part with the serial number. It’s true that the rest of the weapon, the barrel, the stock, fore end, rails, optics, grips, suppressor, custom triggers, magazines, etc., etc. can be bought over the counter or online with no checks whatever. Ammunition too.

    Ruth assembled essentially a kit gun. Personally I think this should be illegal for a host of reasons, primarily because I consider it the hallmark of the gun nut.

    I’ll lay odds that this customized kit gun is an AR-15, the weapon of choice for American mass shootings.

    The idea of people in an “ashram” walking around with customized semiautomatic firearms gives me the creeps. Especially when they pay nighttime visits to persons they have disputes with.

    • Aristotle, thank you for your clarifications.

      Based on my observations the weapon of choice for mass shooters is the glock 9. Certainly you’re not saying that everyone who owns an AR is excited for mass shootings?


      Quote: “A list of mass shootings between April 1999 and January 2013 prepared for lawmakers in Connecticut showed that rifles were used in 10 incidents and shotguns in 10 others, while handguns were used in 42. ”

      There are 20 million AR owners in the US.

      It had been over 10 years since I had any contact with Jesse, I had no dispute with him. I’ve built my life out of the ashram grasp and put a lot behind me. Until other people came forward.

      Regarding going to Jesse’s place, I didn’t even know where he lived and without Jessica never would have gone there. Jessica told me Jesse knew we were coming, and she knew his address. Where we went was in a very remote part of Oregon, with bears, coyotes, wolves, cougar, bobcat and more, 2 women alone. She asked me to bring the rifle. We went there together to try to rescue Jesse in a way. Get him talking to LEO and thus immunity. I’m not a fool, why would I even dare to do something that might make me arrested at the station that I was trying to get Jesse to go to?

      The AR platform is also very much liked by small women and the disabled/elderly, because of the low recoil and stability of a long gun compared to handguns. Its a safer gun, most people don’t know this. The vast majority of criminals use handguns. And even the accidental discharges are mostly handguns, because people leave them around like toys. And a toddler can pick up a handgun. A toddler can’t pick up a rifle. Handguns are also easier to steal, easier to conceal and easier to smuggle.


      • “We went there together to try to rescue Jesse in a way. Get him talking to LEO and thus immunity.”

        OK, I know I’ll be perceived as a “douchebag” for asking this, but the natural question is… If Sweeny is such a horrible evil pedophile rapist woman, child, and dog abuser, why did you want to rescue him?

        • Hi WTF, I’ve read a number of your comments, I dont think you should be replied to with every comment you made. You have an odd way of supporting cult victims, just FYI.

          For other readers who you suggested deserve better explanations (maybe more than what was said) I want to share a quote that I have used to guide my life for the past 10 years:

          ““The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either – but right through every human heart…even within hearts overwhelmed by evil, one small bridgehead of good is retained.”

          ― Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago 1918–1956

          I am a person who believes, especially after 10 years, that even the most deplorable person can be reasoned with towards doing something right. Bandits are not stupid just because they are bandits. On the contrary in fact.

          Remember I said I went there on the advice of another person as well. I did not go alone. I would have never, never ever ever ever gone to meet Jesse, where it not for the advice, presence and help of someone else.


          • “You have an odd way of supporting cult victims, just FYI.”

            I’m sorry, I did not realize this is a cult victim support group. I am the kind of person who doesn’t believe everything they are told at face value, Especially when some of it seems suspect. So I ask questions. I don’t think that makes me a bad person. Plus It seems to be coming out that one of the other self-proclaimed “cult victims” here is a massive whopping pathological liar, According to you. So apparently I am not wrong to have questions.

        • WTF,

          You ask a very valid question. It’s not a dick question.

          My guess is Sweeney contacted Ruth – crying for help and said he wanted to change. Ruth being a good person, foolishly went to him.

          The problem with being a good person is you stick your neck out to help people.

          • I’m guessing what happened is Ruth’s companion and fellow “survivor” that she’s created a bond and trust with wanted to go to Gold Beach to see her “Bruddah” and “face Gold Beach”. A post I remember from earlier said something about “closure”. Her companion has most likely dissuaded her from speaking about Jesse because her companion is very attached to him.

            The trip was most certainly her companions idea, as she does not have a car and has been dying to see Gold Beach for years now. Companion was hoping for some glorious family reunion and forgiveness moment, to “rescue” Jesse. Jesse was not remotely interested in being rescued by companion nor speaking with anyone about Chetanananda, Ruth was triggered seeing him again and had some unwelcome memories return, realized he was the same person she dated when she was 19, wants nothing more to ever do with him, and she was no longer OK with keeping her mouth shut about the abuse for anyone, even her new friend.

            I suspect that companion is distancing herself from this story because she picks and chooses who she believes abusers to be based only on her own experiences of them. That is also subject to change at any time.

            How did I do?

            PS I don’t believe for a minute you brought the gun to threaten anyone. I believe you brought it for protection, just in case. I have to wonder if you were encouraged to do that too at the time only now it’s being used to make you look bad?

            Kind of weird how that was leaked all over this page. I know Jesse keeps his share of guns and wouldn’t think it weird to have one out there. He wouldn’t be running around telling people about those two showing up and Ruth’s gun even with her latest posts. Not his style. Is this companions way of “saving him”.

      • “There are 20 million AR owners in the US” Yes, and that’s appalling.

        In June, the Arizona Mirror ran an opinion piece titled “The AR-15 Is For Mass Killing. Ban It” https://www.azmirror.com/2022/06/04/the-ar-15-is-for-mass-killing-ban-it/

        It states, quite correctly, that the AR-15s or similar rifles were the primary weapons used in around half of the 10 deadliest mass shootings in modern American history.

        The AR-15 was designed by Eugene Stoner in the 1950s for the military arms market. It’s an assault rifle. It was adopted (somewhat belatedly) by the US Army as the M16 and the M4.

        The idea that it’s somehow inherently safe and women-friendly is… bizarre. Have a look at the way these blasters are marketed, have a look at the Sig Sauer catalog. I have. Images of grim men in full tactical gear, weapons leveled, advancing in a combat crouch. Sig promoted its MCX as a “groundbreaking tactical rifle”. Omar Mateen used a Sig MCX to murder 49 people at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando.

        The AR-15 is in no way meant for hunting or “sport.” It’s meant to kill people. Lots of people all at once. It’s very, very good at this.

        Orlando. Sandy Hook. Aurora. San Bernardino. Las Vegas. Stoneman Douglas HS. Uvalde. Buffalo. All these mass killings were carried out using the AR-15.

        I know that millions of people own these hideous, deadly weapons, and I ask myself, Why? Why on earth would anyone want to have such a thing, with such grisly associations? I’ve looked into people’s stated reasons for buying these things. Fear of being outgunned by a band of armed marauders besieging their home. Being ready for some sort of armed uprising. Preparing for the zombie apocalypse. Or in the present case, protection against bears, coyotes, wolves and mountain lions while driving to someone’s house in the wilds of Oregon.

        I find it odd that you cite that particular Vice article to defend the AR, since it references Omar Mateen and the Pulse mass shootings. Yeah, Mateen had a semiautomatic handgun on him in addition to the AR. He used the AR. Which rather proves my original point: the AR-15 is the weapon of choice for mass killings. It’s true, semiautomatic handguns with large capacity magazines (often 17 rounds and more) are deadly, beloved by criminals, and should be banned too.

        Lastly, you think it’s odd that I know stuff about guns and suspect I’m a gun nut too. No, I just like to know the facts before I speak. I’m an advocate for sensible gun control who is appalled by school shootings. I find the issue far more important than that of some swami with an apparent BDSM fetish.

        • The AR is not the weapon of choice for mass killings:


          This is really easy to see that. Even in the vice article said there are 4 times as many mass shootings that were done with handguns, not any rifle (of any type not just ARs!).

          Listen Aristotle, its clear you think you know who is a gun nut or not and this is more important than cult things to you. So, rather than derail this further, maybe don’t argue about it in this space where cult survivors are and the topic is cults, call cult survivors “nuts” (denigrate us with ableist insults) for being left handed (!?!?), and find a better way debate this topic, period, that doesn’t involve baseless ad hominems that can just as easily be applied to anyone. Why? Just why? Please explain this to me. Do you want me to retract everything I said because I am a “gun nut” according to you and don’t deserve to be believed?

          Please answer this last question.

          • To answer your question yes I think someone who assembles their own customized AR-15 qualifies as a gun nut. I think anyone who has one of these things in their house is a gun nut, given their infamous reputation and the fact that they’re illegal in most civilized counties. That’s my opinion and I’m sticking with it.

            “Mass shootings” are defined in various ways. Often as three or four people shot, even with no fatalities. It’s true, those kinds of shootings usually involve semiautomatic handguns. I think those should be banned too.

            But when I hear on the news that there’s been (another) mass shooting with seven or a dozen killed, I say to myself “the guy used an AR-15”. I’m usually right. I could go into the subject of the ballistics involved to explain why, but nah.

            The fact that a person owns one of these infamous things says something about that person. Like it or not. The places they bring a gun also says something about that person, like it or not.

            The fact that you brought an AR-15 to a nighttime meeting with your ex is salient to the discussion. The cockamamie excuse that you were carrying in case of bear attack speaks to your credibility and your opinion of our intelligence.

            So none of what I’ve brought up here is off-topic. I’m not derailing anything and I’m not asking you to retract anything. And in my opinion alleged victims who go around brandishing weapons muddy the victimhood waters considerably. And in my opinion the uniquely American problem of gun violence is far more important than a swami with an overactive dick.

        • It is extremely difficult to get accurate statistics when it comes to gun violence in the USA. Most people go off the FBI data which is readily available here


          In it you will see that every year more people are killed with HAMMERS AND FISTS than with Rifles. In it, if you go through expanded details, you will see 60% of gun deaths are suicides mostly by white male veterans.

          One of the worst mass shooting in US history, if we define worst by number of deaths, was Virgina Tech. Committed by a South Korean on student visa with TWO HANDGUNS. Orlando night club shooter didn’t just use an AR he used 9mm pistols.

          Again we go to the fbi data and find the vast majority of death by gun to be with HANDGUNS.

          It’s none of your business why someone wants or has an AR styled rifle. It is a person’s right to own one. It is a person’s right to defend themselves.

          Honestly, you want to take all the AR’s away and do what? Let only the police have them? They sure did a bang up job in Uvalde didn’t they.

          Look up the BAR (browning automatic rifle). It was mostly used in WW2. It was a fully automatic machine gun that usually shot caliber .30-06 which is significantly larger than the AR caliber typically .223 or .556. You could buy this machine gun through a newspaper or magazine and have if shipped to you house. A machine gun…that shoots 650 rounds PER MINUTE. Look up a 1911 colt pistol. A semi automatic hand gun that had large capacities magazines that one used to be able to buy through a magazine and ship it to their house. And these guns weren’t crazy expensive for their time. They were relatively affordable and available firearms. Where were the mass shootings? Where? There didn’t used to be a problem with mass shootings and people think it has something to due with the availability and modern technology of a firearm.
          IT DOESNT. Don’t just research hyperbolic media trying to blame everything on a gun. There is a cultural problem happening. There is something wrong with these men who are committing these horrific crimes. We can ban guns all day but it isn’t going to stop. It’s the same with abortion or drugs. Make it illegal. It isn’t going to stop.

          I can take an inexperienced women or man to a gun range and put a pistol in their hand. Walk them ten yards from a target and have them shoot at it. They will miss. They will miss a lot. I can take that same person, walk them 100 yards from a target and put an AR15 in their hand. They will hit the target. An AR15 is an extremely reliable, accurate, light, and accurate firearm. It is an equalizer. It gives a 110 pound women living alone in her apartment the ability to defend herself.

          Our country is in a horrible time politically. We think in such black and white terms and remove the nuisances from everything now. We need to get away from this idea that laws are the solution to everything. They’re not. Using abortion as an example: should it be legal or illegal? Honestly is now even a good time to ask that question? What about the fact that MEN have been ABANDONING their women and child for a thousand years? When are we going to address the root cause of that? How many less abortions would there be if we as a society took better care of our men and taught them how to be nurturing human beings? Isn’t this related to drug use? How many fathers are in prison serving life sentences for getting caught with less than an ounce of Marijuana? The number is around ten thousand in the USA. What are the vast majority of those gun deaths after suicides? Gang violence. Black teens and young black men. When are we going to address those neighborhoods? When are we going to stop letting politicians make millions of dollars off insider trading stock tips and put some fucking money into these shit hole neighborhoods that were created under racist laws? When?

          Don’t tell me the answer to something is to ban it or to just make it illegal. That’s all this country has been doing for the last 100 years and the only thing I see it doing is divinding everyone.

    • PS (HAVE TO ADD) Aristotle you can be a ‘gun nut’ or you can be a southpaw who wants an ambidextrous build for obvious reasons!

      You seem like someone who is on their way to becoming a ‘gun nut’ themselves and frankly recited the terminology nearly exactly like someone who enjoys knowing the engineering, which isnt actually nutty at all. Frankly i think everyone who owns a gun should build it themselves as the more familiarity with the individual parts means you are more respectful of it and safer with it. 👍

    • Aristotle Sausage-

      Ruth made the right choice for a home defense weapon and she listed the correct reasons for her choice.

      I’ll add people are more cognizant of where their rifles are pointing than a handgun. Plus people accidentally fire their handguns off more readily than rifles.

      Don’t believe me? Go to any outdoor gun range on a Saturday and get ready to piss yourself. Handguns safety-off and loaded will be pointed at you multiple times.

      Women in the Israeli Defense Forces sling assault rifles of various sizes.

      Ruth’s weapon the AR-15 is a carbine. It’s NOT a rifle.
      Stop calling it a rifle!


      Just because someone owns a gun and exercises their
      Second Amendment
      right does not mean they’re are a gun nut.

  • See?

    That’s why people won’t disclose their names. My comment was asking for more information and I specifically state “Please don’t take this as not being willing to hear you, however considering something this awful requires full disclosure”.

    I also never used the word allegedly.” It does.

    This is life ruining shit obviously. That’s not very good journalism, Frank. That’s twisting someone’s words to make them appear a villain and I am not that. As a matter of FACT I am the ONLY person that stood for his LAST girlfriend but THIS PART was very obviously left out by her and someone else who knew about it because they thought I would flip out. They are right.

    I WOULD. I AM. No secret whatsoever I have been a LONG time advocate for sexually abused children. Ironically I went there to recover from the unmitigated hell I went through to help pass the biggest sex abuse reform Bill in WA State. Wow, what a joke I must have been to everyone. My first day was literally the day Epstein was arrested and I was super excited.

    I will tell you that went over like a turd in a punch with my dinner company, one of which was Sanderson when it was mentioned. I became very close to Jessie’s last girlfriend. Loved her like she was my own child. Very soon she was discouraged to stay away from her even by my supposed best friend because I was “triggering” for her based on her own life experiences. I talk very openly about childhood sex abuse and yes I do make people uncomfortable.

    It SHOULD make you uncomfortable. I was shushed lots. So I watched as she was groomed, slowly brought into the upper echelon. I was concerned by the controlling behaviors I saw from him towards her. I did everything in my power to show up for her and it was not wanted. Meanwhile our resident “trans” person and oh geeze… seriously?

    You had me at sending naked photos of “themself” to a child which was when I promptly stopped talking to her which was exactly at the time the abuse that made me drop SC, my favorite best and really ONLY person of 13 years because she threw me under a bus. There was no question. I believed my sweet girl.

    I stood for her 100% I paid for it too and it still am. Shit like this. I was not given the full story. Whatever, that is hers to tell but I certainly deserved to know. Meanwhile Resident Trans was using me as bait to f with SC and I could not decipher their story telling from the truth.

    I would be blamed for things she was doing and my GOD I came there to HEAL from crippling CPTSD. There was poison EVERYWHERE. So no I am not criticizing you, Ruth. I’m just still trying to wade through all this corrosive mind goo.

    I’m incredibly sorry to hear of this. I had just never heard this from the person that I took a gigantic stand for that frankly I didn’t have at the time from the floor I was pinned to and thought it “might” come up.

    This has been my worst nightmare and it just keeps getting worse. The ONE thing I’ve felt proud of the last decade is the voice I have been for the voiceless and it almost killed me seeing my photo in one of these stories. Betrayal to infinity. I was there because someone I loved assured me I would be safe, that he was safe.

    Woman watched me crawl through glass and just barely surviving for close to a decade. I trusted her and loved her with all my heart. I clearly was NOT safe. I will disclose my name when I have a toehold on survival. OK?

    Still not there. This work is the most thankless on earth. Everyone hates you, even the people you are trying to help and I’m burned out and burned up. Not a critic just trying to figure out what the fuck is going on and please give me a break. This “place” is full of lies, liars and lies and liars by omission.

    I’ve been broken by believing and loving the pathologically selfish and dishonest. People that will happily use me for their benefit and my advocacy and then promptly discard and even malign me. I’m incapable of doing anything BUT being of service in this particular way… it’s just my path but it’s BEYOND getting old.

    You all in the peanut gallery with info? You are energetic sloths laying on a couch eating victim bon bons while everyone is busting their ass, reputations, and mental health to clean up a failed septic tank you are ADDING to with your silence. Try giving back a little. This is “kind of” important but if you are not of unity consciousness and just out for you which so many of these people are these are just more wasted words and my actual life time.

    Also, the other reason I have questioned you Ruth is your association with Resident Trans.

    Of COURSE, you were encouraged to bring that with you. That’s a human tornado, destructive as hell and will suck in anything in their wake who laughed and told me when they considered them a threat “What can I do, I would be laughed at I’m simply not credible”. True. So “they” USE other people as human shields and weapons to do it, destroying their credibility too. Now you know.

  • Now I can see why the police have not brought charges. Unfortunately, each person “coming forward” so far is an extremely unreliable narrator.

      • Unless Ruth has rock-solid evidence, it will be “he said/she said” in court if it ever makes it there. All Chet’s defense lawyer would need to do is print out these blog posts and question Ruth on each statement, point out the contradictions, point out the exaggerations, point out the information she left out, and BOOM! totally demolish her credibility.

        Typically in court you only have to catch a person in one lie and then nobody will believe anything else they say.

        • WTF – Sounds like you’re missing some key details here. Chet has been signing checks and ordering up NDAs for survivors for decades now. How likely is it that dozens and dozens of people, spanning across states, across decades (likely across nations as well) are all fabricating their experiences? If your theory that a person has to be caught in one lie to lose credibility holds true, I would absolutely love to witness the mental gymnastics it would take for Michael to keep a story straight about all of the accumulating allegations in front of a jury. Can he even keep track of who’s been strangled, who’s been drugged, who’s been raped? Does Sharon have a meticulously detailed file of events for him to refer to and refresh his memory?

          • I know of one person who claimed their daughter signed an NDA. I have not heard of more in any specific way. Just vague gossip.

            BUT let me make it clear I am not saying I think that Ruth or anyone else is making everything up. But I had/have some common-sense doubts about the part of the story that pertained to her ex-boyfriend Jesse – it was vague and took pot-shots at him for having a mother with money. I also don’t really understand why it is pertinent that he wanted his partners to keep their eyes open during money shots.

            And I also have concern when someone is accused of being a pedophile without any evidence. Also, The part about swami Chet keeping child porn that he can prove is Jesse’s sounds like complete bullshit. Maybe somebody told Ruth that and she believed it but my impression is it’s a crock of shit.
            If swami chet is caught with that porn, he is going to jail. No one is going to buy “oh I can prove this child porn in my possession belongs to someone else.” Keeping any child porn in your possession is ridiculously self-destructive. Besides how would he prove it is Jesse’s? does it have his DNA on it or something?

            I just don’t understand Ruth’s motivations for going after Jesse. I can understand going after swami Chet and his organization if it really is an abusive criminal enterprise. But an ex boyfriend because you don’t like the way he trained his pit bull? Could Ruth be trashing Jesse in this cruel way because she knows his mother has money and Ruth is hoping mother will pay her off to sign an NDA. ? Maybe, maybe not.

    • Why attack Ruth’s credibility?

      And what specifics do you have that undermine the credibility of the now 36 year old narrator?

      Are you a member of the ashram? What makes you the judge and jury on this?

      Just wondering your experience that you make sweeping statements to discredit another.

    • WTF-

      They’re as reliable as the whistle blowers who came out of Scientology or NXIVM.

      What do you expect from the Ashram, a bunch of Nobel Prize Laureates? You dummy.

      Ruth is brave and you, WTF, are a douche bag.

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” Parlato was also credited in the Starz docuseries "Seduced" for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Additionally, Parlato’s coverage of the group OneTaste, starting in 2018, helped spark an FBI investigation, which led to indictments of two of its leaders in 2023.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premiered on May 22, 2022. Most recently, he consulted and appeared on Tubi's "Branded and Brainwashed: Inside NXIVM," which aired January, 2023.

IMDb — Frank Parlato

Contact Frank with tips or for help.
Phone / Text: (305) 783-7083
Email: frankparlato@gmail.com