By George Frobisher
I got another assignment from Frank – always bottom of the barrel stuff. This time – I regret to inform readers – I have to report on a longtime affair that Nancy Salzman has been having with her dentist.
It’s no one’s business who Nancy is shagging. But I know old Frank. He thinks this is clickbait. As if anybody cares who Nancy is schtupping. I’ll write it, but I won’t like it and don’t be surprised if I quit this blog if I don’t get some meatier assignments.
She always had a winning smile. Nancy Salzman that is.
And that’s because she could afford the finest dentist money can buy.
Now, we learn from a source that Nancy has been bonking her dentist for years – and what’s worse, he’s Keith’s dentist too!
Of course, he is not presently Keith’s dentist. Keith is now housed in the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn, New York – and all medical and dental care is provided free to him by the Bureau of Prisons and paid for by taxpayers.
Still, Nancy is on the loose. Her sentencing date has not been set. She is subject to home confinement but only at night. During the day, she is allowed out and, of course, she is permitted to go out any time – day or night – for medical and dental appointments.
And there are no restrictions barring her dentist from making house calls, which I assure you he has.
So, this is the news: Not only is Nancy currently getting banged by her dentist – but even when Keith was free and the Lord of Clifton Park – Nancy was out screwing the good dentist behind Keith’s back – for at least four years.
That’s right, she was screwing him even when Raniere was requiring all the women in his harem – – including her – to be faithful to him.
Her daughter, Lauren, who is also in Keith’s harem, may not have ever slept with another man in the 20 years he enslaved her. But Nancy was far too wise for that.
I recall hearing stories about Nancy and another inner circle member entertaining two gents for an evening of delight. And she was not alone. I know of another inner circle member who told Frank Report she had an affair right under Keith’s nose.
There were probably others.
It is kind of strange because Keith said if any of the women he was close to had sex with another man, it might kill him – so attuned with the highest spiritual vibrations was he.
Yet, somehow he survived.
We all know Cami cheated on him, not once – but twice – having sexual encounters with both Jim Del Negro and his stepson, Robbie. The latter affair seemed to unhinge Raniere. As readers recall, he demanded Cami tell him whose semen tasted sweeter and whose cock was longer.
Cheated on left and right – and the unkindest cut of all – by Prefect too! All the time he thought she was lying in his dentist’s chair, she was actually lying on her dentist, or lying about her dentist, while he was filling her cavities.
Frank Report knows the name of the dentist, of course, but I don’t think I will mention it at this moment. I think it fair to contact him first to see if he wants to make a comment. There is nothing illegal about dating a Prefect of a racketeering sex cult. But it might be bad for business.
I also have heard that the good dentist took Nxivm courses and speaks glowingly of the “tech.”
Just think, some of the times when Nancy was giving wet kisses to Keith, she had just come from a nice cleaning job.
Ah, if only Keith knew then.
Some pictures of Nancy’s teeth.
Overheard outside the dentist’s office when Nancy was there:
- Can you open your mouth a bit wider?
- Damn it, I think it broke off
- Please don’t bite down on my equipment
- I think I can fill it with what I’ve got
- You will feel a little prick
Her dentist said to Nancy, “I am going to drill you now!”
Her dentist said to Nancy, “If you feel uncomfortable, just jerk your head and I’ll pull out.”
Vanguard went to his dentist, and as the dentist was leaning over him, he said, “I see you have had oral sex recently.”
Vanguard said, “Why, is there a pubic hair in my teeth?”
The dentist said, “No, you’ve got shit on your nose.”
It was Nancy’s first time with someone else – since she had been with Vanguard.
As she lay back, her muscles tightened. She put him off, searching for an excuse, but he refused to be dissuaded.
He asked if she was afraid.
Nancy shook her head.
He had experience, but it was the first time his finger found the right place. He probed deeply.
She shivered. Her body tensed, but he was gentle like he promised he’d be.
He looked deep into her eyes and told Nancy to trust him. He’d done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxed her. She opened wider to give him more room for an easy entrance.
She begin to plead and begged him to hurry, but he slowly took his time, wanting to cause her as little pain as possible.
As he pressed closer, going deeper, she felt the tissue give way. Pain surged throughout her body. She felt a slight trickle of blood as he continued.
He looked at her concerned and asked if it was too painful. Her eyes filled with tears but she shook her head and nodded for him to go on.
He began moving in and out with skill but she was too numb to feel him within her.
After a few frenzied moments, she felt something bursting within and he pulled it out.
She lay panting, glad to have it over.
He looked at her smiling, warmly telling her that she had been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
She smiled and thanked her dentist.
After all, it was the first time Nancy had a tooth pulled.
Viva Executive Success!
Nancy Salzman is the sister of Carole Kass. Carole is the wife of Steven Kass who is the CFO of Tofutti Brands.
Warning Shallow Male Point of View Ahead!!!
Re Defending the Dentist:
Look if the dentist is “hard up” and hasn’t had “it”, “in” a long time, can you really blame the guy for boinking Nancy?
George, you’ve been there…Every red-blooded American male has been there once.
The eternal, single man’s decision/question go home dick in hand or go home with her?
The dentist is a mortal man at the end of the day.
This is a real piece of traditional Americana, a dentist who makes house calls. May I ask, does this sit well with other local dentists near Clifford Park, Saratoga County, N.Y.?
If I were you, George Frobisher, I wouldn’t answer me, either. Alas, this will not end anytime soon.
I’d recommend a soothing cocktail, if that doesn’t hit to close to the boner, um, bone. Maybe you’ll want to order a stiff one. Did you ever go to O Henry’s in Greenwich Village? Very unfortunately, now it might have become a bank, but you can still get an OHenrys’ poster for $37.00, U.S.
Now there is no excuse for any delays. Let the party begin!
Monsieur Frobisher, s’il vous plait, pardonnez-moi, pour je t’ai mis dans ce pétrin. Mais je ne suis pas désolé, pas de tout. Non, rien de rien.
It is good to hear that dentists also cure insomnia. Could it be time now for you to schedule an appointment? Please give a ring after you see the dentist. It was supposed to be a root canal, not a rooting canal, Nancy. Hopefully, the dentist is a straight shooter and doesn’t charge for any extractions. Surely, the dentist realizes, whatever he put in will all have to come out.
The dentist has failed to please me. He has not gone far enough with Nancy Salzman, not yet. The least that he could do is to consider how very, very sick the world really is of seeing Nancy’s gummy, gummy tooth-baring grimaces. Forget about those temporary orgasms and teach her to smile less savagely. That would be executive suckcess.
A savage smile. Perfect description, anonymous. That smile is the look of some seriously deranged individual. A smile that chills the bone. The dentist needs to lose his job. For the sake of all beings, he should have removed all her teeth so she would never be tempted to smile open-mouthed again.
I love Frank Report! I get more laughs here than watching professional comedians.
In contrast, I see more horror and human tragedy than I ever thought possible
Nancy Salzam? Cheating on Keith? With their dentist? Nothing new here…
Toni Natalie may be the only woman who did not cheat on Keith. She was loyal till she caught him in easily provable lies. And he was cheating on her. Just like Scott did. And probably every man she was with did. Why? Because she is too good to be true. And so men go after lesser women, more earthly. This is a secret psychological fact.
Your Gravitar name is now “vmommy”.
Are you now the Vanguard’s “mommy”?
Wouldn’t surprise me if it were Glen Unger a.k.a. Sam Kennedy. Or has that guy finally gone to federal prison where he belongs?
There is a factual error in this article. Both Nancy and Lauren have a long history of sex with any and all men that are willing to bed them!
Don’t believe for a moment that these two had a celibate moment in their lives!
I well remember how Joe O’Hara claimed that Nancy tried to seduce him.
This is after Nancy knew that O’Hara had a steady girl friend.
And Lauren apparently swings both ways since there is testimony that Lauren had an affair with Pam Pimp Cafritz.
And all of this time, I did not realize that it was sex that Lauren and her mummy were seeking. They just look like overly eager rabbit hunters carrying machine guns. Now it’s starting to make more sense. These women were amongst their most suitable peers, searching for sexuality? So it’s true then, that people want the very most what they least have. Can it be that Nancy and Lauren Salzman were really the same as two unfulfilled bald men, out shopping for toupées, only on a Dollar Store budget?
[…] Nancy Salzman Cheated on Raniere for Years, Now ‘Bonking’ Keith’s Dentist! Frank Report […]
George – that was hysterical. Thank You for that. Well written! Reminded me a bit of the 1960’s Playboy cartoons.
Frank, don’t let George quit the page. His begrudgingly written articles are a delight!
I’ll do my best to keep him but he can be exceedingly obnoxious and annoying, as all who know him will attest.
Sometimes the best writers are obnoxious and annoying.
Like Ambrose Bierce and H. L. Mencken.
George, it’s obvious Frank has assigned you the perfect topics to fit your abilities.
Usually someone is talking about a dog when they say, “Do you know where that mouth has been?” But in the case of NXIVM, it’s the humans. Dentists already have a high suicide rate, he must be thinking about taking his own life after reading the Frank Report.
The only thing “obvious” is that your not funny……
….Stick to making doody jokes retard.