Suggestion to Keith Raniere from Jeffrey Epstein: If You’re Going to Buy Protection in Prison, Don’t Be Cheap About It

Mk10Art painting of Keith Raniere

If things stayed on schedule, the Vanguard should have been released by now from the Special Housing Unit (SHU) at the Metropolitan Detention Center (MDC).

Metropolitan Detention Center

Unless, of course, he got caught with more contraband while he was in there.

Or unless MDC officials have decided – in an abundance of caution – to keep him there a while longer so he doesn’t try to do an Epstein and avoid spending the rest of his life in jail.

So, assuming he is, in fact, out of the SHU, what’s next for Keith Alan Raniere?

Back to the Pre-Sentence Unit

In all likelihood, Raniere will be sent back to MDC’s Pre-Sentence Unit – which is where he got caught with a cell phone during a general shakedown of the unit.

MDC has lots of shakedowns – in part, that’s because there are lots of prisoners there (about twice as many as the Manhattan Correctional Center where Epstein was residing) and, in part, because MDC is used as a training site by lots of local K-9 Units.

K-9 training goes on at MDC all the time

What’s really amazing is that Raniere hadn’t arranged to hide his cellphone in a neutral spot where it couldn’t be traced to him.

Or that he didn’t pay another inmate to hold the phone in case there was a shakedown.

Even if Raniere is the world’s smartest man (a claim which I am certain is not true), he is clearly not the world’s smartest inmate.

Probably not even MDC’s smartest inmate.


You’ve been in prison for 17 months and you haven’t figured out how to hide your contraband?

What the fuck kind of prisoner are you, Keith Raniere?

Keith Raniere: Not the world’s smartest prisoner. (MK10ART)

Given Raniere’s popularity – or lack thereof – at MDC, it’s also possible that he got set up for the cellphone hit.

It’s not unheard of for the guy who is selling cellphones to occasionally tip off a guard about one of his clients.

That keeps everyone happy – except, of course, for the poor schmuck who got caught with the cellphone.


Time for Clare to Buy Vanguard Some Protection

With Raniere’s birthday only a week away, I came up with what I think is a great birthday gift suggestion for Clare Bronfman.


Big Chief Prophylactics

No, not that kind of protection (Rubbers would never be able to contain his blue-light semen anyway).

Buy him some people to protect him so he doesn’t get beat up anymore while he’s at MDC.

Even Jeffrey Epstein figured out to do this – and he was only in prison for a few weeks.

Jeffrey Epstein

According to a recent report in the New York Post, Epstein arranged to have funds deposited into the commissary accounts of at least three other MCC inmates to buy himself some protection.

That practice is fairly common in prison – especially when an inmate is known to be rich or to have access to lots of money.

The most that federal prisoners can spend on commissary is $320 per month – except in November and December when that figure goes up to $370.

C’mon, Clare Bear, you need to do the right thing here – and get your man some protection for his birthday!

Clare Bronfman

But don’t be cheap about it.

Epstein paid off three guys at MCC to protect him – and look how that turned out.

Maybe you should plan on spending a couple thousand a month to protect Raniere’s ass.


Another Gift Idea – More Meetings for Vanguard With His Attorneys

Another gift suggestion that Clare might want to consider is buying the Vanguard more meeting time with his attorneys.

Once again, this is something that Epstein quickly figured out once he was incarcerated at MCC and denied bail.

According to a recent report in The New York Times, Epstein had arranged for his attorneys to show up in shifts – thereby allowing him to spend 8-12 hours a day out of his cell which was described as “cramped, dank and infested with vermin”.

In addition to getting out of his cell for several hours a day, Epstein was also able to eat something other than what MCC was serving up to the inmates on those days. That’s because whenever they met, Epstein and his lawyers routinely emptied the two vending machines that are available in the visiting area.

So, Clare Bear, why don’t you do the same for your man?

Buy him as much time as possible with his attorneys – either the ones that represented him during his trial or the “whole new team” that he’s said will be working on his appeals.

Marc Agnifilo [l] and Paul DerOhanessian [r]. Will they be representing Raniere on his appeals – or is going to claim they were incompetent?
Maybe two attorneys at $750/hour for 8 hours per day, Monday through Friday.

Hell, that’s only $60,000 per week.

Isn’t your Vanguard worth that much to you?


Raniere’s Mailing Address

For those who want to send Vanguard a Happy Birthday card, here’s his mailing address at MDC:
Keith Alan Raniere AKA The Vanguard
Register Number 57005-177
Metropolitan Detention Center
P.O. Box 329002
Brooklyn, NY 11232

Birthday Cake & Balloons



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K.R. Claviger


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About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” In addition, he was credited in the Starz docuseries 'Seduced' for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premieres on May 22, 2022.

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