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The truth is always fair

Frank Report
The truth is always fair

Bangkok: Your Morning Apple is Just a Candy Bar in Disguise

02/24/2025  |  Guest View
Bangkok: Your Morning Apple is Just a Candy Bar in Disguise
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I wanted to elaborate on something I already mentioned in The Wild Pig is Not Your Enemy—It’s Your Next Meal

Question #1: Are complex carbs (veggies, oatmeal, rice, etc) really healthier than junk food?

Question #2: Do complex carbs really release blood sugar more slowly than junk food?

Question #3: Are fiber-rich fruits healthier than junk food?

In reality, these beliefs contain a small kernel of truth — but they are 80%-90% misleading and wrong.

This is an example of using a kernel of truth to hide a mountain of lies.

Truth is, about 10%-20% of the American population is extremely ‘insulin sensitive’ (these are the healthiest people) — which means their bodies can digest ALL carbs without releasing as much insulin as everybody else.

But, for the majority of Americans — this is NOT true.  The majority of Americans (via genetics and/or years of bad nutrition) are becoming more and more ‘insulin resistant’ over time.

FYI: This doesn’t mean they are becoming diabetics. It simply means they are closer to the diabetic spectrum (of blood sugar) compared to healthier people.

We’ve all been told that eating fruit is healthy, right?

But… Natural sugar in fruit is NO DIFFERENT than eating table sugar.

Even Frank, our resident hero, is likely too fucken ignorant to truly understand this fact. 🙂

That’s right.  Eating 2 large apples (about 220 calories of carbs) will raise your blood sugar higher than eating a 250-calorie candy bar or bowl of ice cream.

Don’t believe it?  Let’s test it out.

Just buy a glucose meter from your local CVS or Walgreens — and VERIFY it yourself.  Costs about $20.  You fucken imbeciles!  🙂

FYI:  Anybody can buy a glucose meter (without a prescription).  In fact, most keto dieters monitor their blood sugar this way.

I implore Frank to do the same — so that he doesn’t wind up looking like Alonzo in a few years.  🙂

How to test?

1) When you wake up one morning, test your blood sugar before breakfast, and write it down.

Bangkok, like many young boys, love candy.Bangkok, like many young boys, love candy.

2) Then, eat a candy bar or bowl of ice cream for breakfast (with nothing else) — and test your blood sugar about 1 hour after you finish eating.  Write down the ‘increase’ to your blood sugar.

candy bar sillyCompletely organic

3) The very next morning, test your blood sugar again (before & after breakfast) — but, this time eat a bowl of oatmeal along with fresh fruit.   *Make sure the calories from this meal equal the calories from the breakfast you ate the day before (equal servings).

4) Compare the blood sugar changes from each of those 2 breakfasts.

Guess what?  The breakfast consisting of oatmeal & fruit will show a higher blood sugar increase compared to the candy bar or bowl of ice cream.

Guess what? You’ll get the same results testing a lunch consisting of low-fat white rice, mixed vegetables, and chicken (compared to an equal-calorie lunch consisting of vanilla ice cream).

Now all of you can kindly KISS MY PRISTINE ASS.

Have a fine day. 🙂

PS — Please stop being UNHEALTHY.  I implore you to kindly adopt the low-carb lifestyle.  You bastards.  And please stop eating fucken SEED OILS, you assholes!

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Comments (21)

  • NiceGuyFebruary 24, 2025
    Frank-

    Love the pic placement!!!

    Comedic brilliance!!!!

    Comedy Gold 🥇
  • T. ChapmanFebruary 24, 2025
    Fuck you, Bancuck!

    Frank, I AM GONNA BE SKNNNY LIKE ALLISON! I am sick and tired of Frank Report ripping on people like me! You are all LOSERS!

    Fuck you to the following:

    Snorlax

    Pilgrim

    Benji

    Frank

    NiceGuy

    NutJob

    Etc.

    You will ALL BURN in the lake of fire!

    Frank, you are a LEWWWWWZZZZZZZEEEEERRRRRR!!
    • Frank ParlatoFebruary 25, 2025
      Why. did you include Nice Guy?
      • T. ChapmanFebruary 25, 2025
        NiceGuy is scum!

        All Frank Reporf losers are scum.
      • Benji CarverFebruary 25, 2025
        Or me. I politely suggested Ms. Chapman as a possible match for Richard Luthmann before I learned Richard was already taken.

        Perhaps Tabby was forced to wipe Allison's ass like Suneel did for Clare.
        • T. ChapmanFebruary 26, 2025
          Richard is scum as well! He is too fat for my taste.

          It is NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS if I wiped Allison's ass! But yes, I did wipe her ass, because I was her “ass”istant. Strange though, Alison never asked me to join DOS. Also, she never gave me the assignment to seduce Keith. I wonder why? Anyone have any theories why?
          • Frank ParlatoFebruary 26, 2025
            stop impersonating someone else. You know your name is Latitia and you never met Allison.
            • T. ChapmanFebruary 26, 2025
              I ate Laticia.

              Please answer me: Why did Allison NOT give me the assignment to seduce and have wild, unbridled sex with Keith?

              Why, Frank? ANSWER ME! WHY?

              I want to know! I want feedback from all you Frank Report losers.
              • Frank ParlatoFebruary 26, 2025
                Latitia – you know why. Because you eat garlic.
    • SnorlaxFebruary 25, 2025
      How Boaring of you.
      • T. ChapmanFebruary 25, 2025
        Fuck you, SnorExLax. You are a fucking douchenozzle. You and Frank are pussies! Fuck you!
    • Dr. PSU @eduFebruary 25, 2025
      Find them

      Fuck them

      Finger them

      Forget them

      The four F's

      Fuck Frank also

      Fuck it

      Fina fucked Frank!
    • Benji CarverFebruary 25, 2025
      Ms. Chapman, why do post in the same style as Monkey and Kemar?
      • T. ChapmanFebruary 27, 2025
        Benji, what are you implying?

        Fuck you!! I am T. Chapman!! T.CHAPMAN!!!
  • NutjobFebruary 24, 2025
    One of two things – Bangcock joined an MLM that peddles nutritional products, or he's a reformed fatty.

    Either way, it's nice of him to help the FR readers. NiceGuy already ditched the chicken and yellow rice he was going to make for his wife's dinner and fed her a bag of snickers.
    • SnorlaxFebruary 25, 2025
      You do realize that by combining an MLM with being a reformed anything, he automatically becomes among the most annoying people on the planet?
      • NutjobFebruary 25, 2025
        Combined with what Bangcock was already bringing to the table…Dear God – the compounding is off the chart…
  • Bored & CruelFebruary 25, 2025
    You are losing your edge, Frank.

    You need to find another sex cult or wackjob parent who's lost custody to hire you for a PR gig.

    This post is scraping the bottom on the barrel.

    Or let Luthmann take over for a while so we can mock him.

    Thanks!
    • NutjobFebruary 26, 2025
      There are many other articles to choose from.
      Don't blame Frank for giving us what we want – A front row seat to poor Bangcock losing his edge and cratering towards the end of his FR career. He's the 32 year old linebacker. The 38 year old starting pitcher who enjoys the sauce. The veteran QB coming back from an achilles. Personally, I love the comeback story and am rooting for our little dipshit to channel his inner Brady. It's sad to see him aging out of the harem.
  • PilgrimFebruary 26, 2025
    RFK 2028
  • NiceGuyFebruary 28, 2025
    Frank-

    This is a great piece!

    The philosophical dietary quandary Bangkok bares to light is….

    Riveting

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