World’s Most Boring Rudi Story By ‘Little’ Guy Boster

By Anna B. Mercury

Guy, ‘Little Guy’ Boster writes about his encounters with Rudi. He seems to think his story conveys some mystical underbelly. To the average reader, not enamored with unprovable claims of supernatural powers, his story is tedious and proves nothing.

He also mentions Muktananda  who taught Rudi, Shoemaker, and Russell Kruckman to be leaders.

The Best Part Of New York…

by Little Guy Boster

In 1968, I worked at an ad agency on Madison Avenue and lived on the Upper East Side when my girlfriend Barbara came home one night and announced she was going to study yoga. A friend of hers had told her about Rudi, and she was eager to meet him. I must have walked by his store a thousand times before I met him, but I had never thought to go in.

So she called Rudi, and he told her to come down to his store, which was on Seventh Avenue in the East Village, right next to the Village Vanguard. I came along with her. It was late afternoon, and the shop was packed with Asian art and antiques.

Rudi talked to us for a while and described his work. He gave us the double breath technique. He asked us to wait with him until class started that evening, and we did. After he finished work, we took a cab with him to his house.

So we went and had our first class. I was sitting there in the back with my sunglasses on, and I remember looking up and seeing two Catholic priests in the first row. They had their black clerical attire. I thought to myself, “If they’re here, there’s definitely something going on. What would they be doing in a place like this?” After class, when it was time to leave, we hugged Rudi, and I said, “I don’t know if I’m coming back.”

Barbara said, “Well, I am.”

Then I decided to come back, too.

We came back the next night and the next, and after a week we had become regulars. Part of it was because there was something happening, I wasn’t completely sure what, and part of it was social, because immediately we met some nice people that we became close to quickly.

Barbara was good at making friends, and I was not as fast, but I went along. We met people like the owners of Serendipity, a famous restaurant—Calvin Holt and Stephen Bruce.

Bruce and Blanche Rubin were getting married a few months after we met Rudi, and they did the whole Jewish wedding at Rudi’s house. I thought at the time, “Isn’t that sweet?”

When Barbara and I decided to marry, Rudi invited us to use his place. We were married there in September 1969, without the Jewish ceremony. A Universal Life Minister conducted our ceremony, and it was beautiful.

Rudi let us have both the wedding and the reception there, and he bought us the cake at Ferrara’s, the famous Italian bakery in Little Italy.

Barbara’s parents and family came, and they were totally freaked out by Rudi’s place. They were Russian Orthodox and Polish Catholic, and they had never seen anything like it before in their lives. My family came too, and my father, an Orthodox Jew, was a bit leery, but my mom loved Asian everything and thought it was great. My brother Howard was the best man.

Rudi was so gracious to everyone through the whole thing.

Barbara and I went to California on our honeymoon, and we kept in touch with Rudi every day, and sent donations as we could. When we returned, we went to class constantly.

Occasionally Rudi would invite us upstairs afterwards to his apartment. This was before he started having people around him all the time. One evening we watched television with Rudi, and Barbara was sitting on the couch with him. Rudi took Barbara’s hand. After we left, Barbara said, “I have never felt so much heat coming out of somebody’s hand. What’s going on?”

Once in a while, Rudi would have a poker game upstairs. We’d all be sitting on the floor, and every time he had a bad hand, he’d put his foot on somebody and they’d jump, and his cards would go flying. We’d have to re-deal.

Some nights he would sit and work with us after class for a while. Eventually, he’d say, “Okay. That’s enough. Turn around and watch TV.”

So we’d watch TV. His favorite shows were the Dick Van Dyke Show and the Avengers.

Once he left us in the middle of class, pointing to Michael Austin to finish the class for him. We found out later he went to the hospital with food poisoning. He had eaten at Luchow’s, the famous German restaurant on Fourth Street.

Rudi had an eclectic circle of friends that included theater people and artists. I remember walking into his living room one day and seeing Alan Arkin sitting there.

One night I was throwing a surprise birthday party for Barbara at Serendipity. I invited a lot of people, including Rudi. As we were having dinner, Rudi would put his fingers in the water glasses and flick water at people—a way of transmitting shakti. It was a wonderful night.

It was up at Big Indian one weekend that I first met Michael Shoemaker. I saw him walking around with Rudi, and I thought he must be somebody important. Then I got to know him a bit before he was sent to Bloomington.

When my brother came to my wedding at Rudi’s, he was only 15 years old. A few years later, he had come up to visit us in New York and we went up to Big Indian. Rudi had big bonfires in a pit, he’d throw everything in there—money, poetry, whatever we were attached to.

Howard (now Swami Prakashananda) saw all this. Eventually, I got a call from my mom asking if I thought Rudi would let Howard move up to the Farm (as she called Big Indian).

I went down to the store the next day to ask Rudi, and Rudi said, “Get him up here now.”

So Howard took a bus up from Virginia, and that was that. That was a few months before Rudi passed away.

Rudi with gullible disciples.

One day I went home from work, thinking I wanted to get out of New York City, and said to Barbara, “Let’s move to Big Indian.”

She said, “You go and ask Rudi if it’s okay.”

She knew what was coming. I went and asked Rudi, and he said, “Absolutely not. You’d last about a week there.” I quickly realized he was completely right.

We were in New York when Rudi decided to bring Muktananda over. We donated some money to help him, but Rudi footed most of the bill.

Muktananda with Russell Kruckman

He told us, “Be warned. {Muktanananda] is a complicated man, but he’s very powerful. I’m bringing him over for your benefit.”

Bruce Rubin and Beau Buchanan were going to make a movie about Muktananda’s visit. We were going up to Big Indian one weekend when they were filming, and it was the first time Rudi gave shaktipat.

We were all out on the front lawn, and Rudi started to work with people. This captured the cameraman’s attention, and the footage is in the film. Rudi’s dentist, Jack Light, was out on the lawn. He was a big guy and must have weighed about 200 pounds. Well, Rudi touched him and he fell right into Barbara, knocking her over. It’s in the movie.

Now, Muktananda didn’t like this because the movie was supposed to be about him. So he got all in a huff. Bruce, to his credit, sat up all night waiting outside Muktananda’s room for Muktananda to wake up so that Bruce could apologize. When Muktananda got up, he blessed him.

We were in Europe a year later when we got a postcard from someone saying Rudi had left Muktananda. Rudi had had enough. Muktananda had put him through hell.

Muktananda would say, “These people love me and they get nothing. You don’t love me and you get everything.”

I remember one story, among many, about Rudi that I like. I wasn’t there, but I heard he was coming back from Big Indian one time in a car with some students. He had been on a fast, a grape diet, because he was working with someone with cancer. The car got a flat tire, and across the road from where the car stopped was a pizza stand.

Rudi said, “Well, it must be God’s will,” and went over and got a slice of pizza.

At some point Rudi decided to write a book.

I walked into the store one day, and he said, “I have a title for my book. What do you think?”

And I said, “Well what is it?”

He replied, “Spiritual Cannibalism,” and my mouth dropped open. Then he explained what he meant by it, and I said, “Oh, that’s great.”

Barbara took dictation for the book. She would go down to the store after work and sit there and take shorthand. Rudi just talked, stream of consciousness (obviously a superior consciousness), and Barbara would come home and type it up. She’d bring it down to the store the next day.

On Sunday mornings, we would go over to his place, and he would have breakfast, bagels, cream cheese and lox. He would talk to the group there.

Barbara took everything down. She put the whole book together. She got pregnant while she was working on it, so our daughter was absorbing all this material in utero. Every time he said something profound, the baby would kick and Barbara would tell him.

Rudi would say, “Oh, that must have been really good. Let’s keep in it in the book.”

Barbara’s work was finished, and she had the baby in December 1972.

Rudi came to the hospital and was going to name the baby, but I screwed that up. I went down to the store a few days later to apologize, and Rudi yelled at me. He did give her a middle name, though—Om.

The afternoon before Rudi died, I was at the store trying to retouch a thangka for him. I knew nothing about thangkas but had bought all these paints because I thought I could do it. It turned out I couldn’t.

As I was leaving, I said goodbye to Rudi before he left for the airport. It was the last time I saw him.

Let’s do a rewrite and tell the truth…

Anna’s version…

Anna B. Mercury

Once upon a time, Little Guy’s girlfriend Barbara said she would learn yoga from Rudi.

Rudi told her to come to his Asian art and antique store on Seventh Avenue. Little Guy came too. He was amazed that the Asian art and antique store had Asian art and antiques for sale.

Rudi described his teaching work to Little Guy and Barbara. His work required donations. Barb and Little Guy went to his yoga class. Little Guy saw two Catholic priests in the first row. He thought, “Golly gee, if Catholic Priests learn from Rudi, there’s something super cosmic going on.”

Little Guy and Barbara returned the next night for class and the next, and became regulars. Making sure to make donations all the time.

Barbara and Little Guy married at Rudi’s place. Rudi bought a cake. Little Guy made a donation 100 times the cost of the cake.

Barbara and Little Guy went to California on their honeymoon, kept in touch with Rudi every day, and sent donations. When they returned, they went to Rudi’s classes and made donations.

Rudi would invite them upstairs to his apartment. One evening they watched television. Rudi and Barbara were sitting on the couch. Rudi took Barbara’s hand.

After they left, Barbara said, “Oh how amazing. I never felt so much heat coming out of somebody’s hand. What kind of mystical supernatural cosmic thing is he doing to eliminate my bad karma and give me super cosmic wisdom where I will be superior to others?”

Little Guy’s jaw dropped. He was amazed and thankful Rudi was using his supernatural powers to make his wife and him higher than others.

Rudi had poker games upstairs. They’d sit on the floor, and every time Rudi had a bad hand, he’d put his foot on somebody, and they’d jump. His cards from his bad hand would go flying. They’d have to re-deal. Rudi never lost at poker.

The other players thought they were blessed when his smelly feet touched them. Although they lost at cards, they were happy because the touch of his feet imparted super cosmic wisdom, eliminated their bad karma, and made them superior to others who were not blessed with the touch of his feet. The bad hands Rudi got, they thought, symbolized their bad karma. His throwing the cards in the air and touching them with his stinky feet was his way of tossing away their bad karma. His winning every game was proof it worked.

They made more donations to Rudi.

Some nights Rudi would sit and work with them after class. Work meant taking away their bad karma and making them superior to others because of their superior wisdom gained from being touched on the hand or by the rank and sweaty foot of Rudi.

Eventually, Rudi would say, “Okay. That’s enough. Turn around and watch TV.” They’d watch the Dick Van Dyke Show, the Avengers and other shows, just like less evolved people.

Once Rudi left in the middle of class, pointing to someone to finish. They found out later that he went to the hospital with food poisoning. He had eaten at a German restaurant.

His all-knowingness meant this was not an accident. No, he deliberately ate bad food to take away the bad karma of the students at his class.

He had started teaching, knowing he would have to go to the hospital. In this way, he taught them to be brave under the worst circumstances, and how he sacrificed for his students.

His students said anyone else would have died, but Rudi was beyond the laws of nature.

This was proven right, for though Rudi seemed like he was going to die from food poisoning, the doctors ran tests, and all they found was he had gas from eating too much Jägerschnitzel with Jägersoße gravy.

This amazing healing showed the students that he took the poison karma of his students and turned it into flatulence. His students were amazed and came to believe the owners and workers of the German restaurant, and the doctors and everyone at the hospital, got karmic benefits from this as well as they did – though not as much of course.

They came to call this The Miracle of the Farts.

One night, Little Guy threw a surprise birthday party for Barbara at Serendipity. He invited a lot of people, including Rudi. As they were having dinner, Rudi put his dirty fingers in people’s water glasses and flicked water at them.

Little Guy and the others knew he was transmitting unbelievable shakti power. All those who had water flicked on them by Rudi realized how lucky they were and how superior they were to other patrons at the restaurant, who looked and thought this old fat guy was behaving like a teenager.

How superior Little Guy and the others felt who got water flicked on them. They were wise, and they felt compassion to the onlookers who thought they were silly, knowing they were much lower than the followers of Rudi who had water flicked on them and were cleansed of their sins.

Little Guy made more donations than ever to Rudi.

At Big Indian, Rudi had bonfires. He’d throw small amounts of money into the fire.

Little Guy reacted with surprise but he knew Rudi knew all.

Rudi said he burned the money because Little Guy was so attached to money. He was helping him learn.

Little Guy felt bad he was so attached to money. He decided to throw a lot of money into the fire, a lot more than the small bills Rudi was burning so he could stop being attached to money.

Rudi stopped him and said this would not end his attachment to money, but strengthen it. The only way to break the attachment was to put the money to good work for something unselfish. Little Guy donated a lot more money to Rudi so he could break his attachment to money. Rudi never burned any of the money Little Guy donated.

Howard Boster – Little Guy’s brother – saw all this. He was a teenager. So Rudi said to Little Guy, “Get him up here now.”

Howard took a bus from Virginia. How much shaktipat Rudi gave through his penis to Howard’s anus is hard to say. Suffice it to say Howard became a Swami.

Bruce Rubin was making a movie about the hebephile Muktananda.

Shoemaker and Rudi

They were at Big Indian filming, and Rudi decided to show off and gave amazing shaktipat on the front lawn. This captured the cameraman’s attention. Rudi’s dentist, Jack Light, was on the lawn. He was a fat guy, and Rudi was also fat. Rudi touched Jack, and Jack, realizing this was the most spiritual thing ever, accidentally bumped into Barbara, who was small, and she fell down.

Everyone turned and realized it was a miracle that fat Rudi would touch fat Jack, and he would stumble and fall into little Barbara, and she fell down.

Ah, the magic of shaktipat. They marveled at Rudi’s power. Everyone witnessed a blessed event. Everyone marveled except Muktanananda who felt fat Rudi was stealing his show.

Muktananda, the holy man, who conquered all desires and was ego-less, was mad that the cameramen filmed Rudi showing off. The movie was supposed to be about Muktananada.

He berated Bruce the filmmaker, who was supposed to know that Muktanananda knew all and had higher power than Rudi. Why was Bruce wasting one minute of film on Rudi when he had him to film?

Bruce almost cried when Muktananada scolded him. He thought it might mean bad karma. For these holy men can control nature and fate.  Bruce sat up all night trembling, waiting outside Muktananda’s room as the saint snored.

When Muktananda woke up in the morning, Bruce groveled on the floor and begged forgiveness, and promised the camera would never veer away from him again, even for one second.

Swami Muktanananda was the soul of puissance and a pervert too. 

How gracious Muktananda was. He forgave and blessed Bruce, and allowed him to film again and never once did the camera veer away. So forgiving was he.

Bruce was so thrilled. He thought how lucky a blessing he got to film the saint. Muktanananda told Bruce he must have been good for 1000 lifetimes to earn this lucky privilege.

Bruce did not remember any lifetimes before his birth but he was happy because he knew it was true. Muktanananda had said so.

Little Guy was in Europe when he and Barb got a postcard from someone conveying the shocking news: Rudi left Muktananda. They had a falling out.

Rudi explained to his disciples. He was way too advanced. Muktananda did not understand.

Rudi was greater than Muktanananda. Rudi quoted what Muktanananda said to him when they were alone.

Muktanananda said, [according to Rudi]: “All my disciples love and adore me, but I can give them nothing as cosmic as what you have, oh great Rudi, already have. It is ironic. Rudi, you don’t adore or love me, yet you have total colossal giant spiritual cosmic enlightenment and radiant beingness. You are too great for my small powers. You are beyond all laws of nature.”

Rudi’s students were in awe when they realized they were with the most powerful being in the universe more powerful than even Muktanananda. They have more donations than ever before.

Rudi told his disciples to pay no attention to what some people said Muktananda said about him.

Muktanananda told the story differently. Muktananada supposedly said to Rudi, when they were alone: “Rudi, you know our guru con game. We are supposed to use it to make money. But we have to pretend to be spiritual beings, celibate monks. But you, you homo pig, you keep trying to bugger all my young male disciples. Don’t you see, faggot, this will make one of them tell their parents, and then it will prevent me from boffing the teen girls.”

Rudi’s compassion is never more clear when, once, when Rudi was returning from Big Indian in a car with students and had a flat tire. Rudi had been on a grape diet for two days because he was a fat. He said he was on the grape diet because he was working with someone with cancer and vicariously healing them.

The car got a flat tire right across the road from a pizza stand. Rudi was hungry from just eating grapes for two days. He said to his disciples, “Well, the flat tire in front of a pizza stand must be God’s will.”

While his disciples fixed the flat tire, Rudi got a pizza and pigged out. Later, when the person with cancer died, Rudi said “it was God’s will.”

Rudi decided to write a book called “Spiritual Cannibalism.” Little Guy said, “Oh, that’s a great title. Anything you do is great. I am dust at your feet.”

Little Guy’s wife Barbara went to Rudi’s store and took shorthand while Rudi sat and bullshitted. Barbara typed up his word salad.

Barbara got pregnant while working on the book, and if Rudi was not gay, a paternity check would be in order. Their daughter absorbed all this in utero. Every time Rudi said some bullshit, the baby would kick. Barbara had a sore stomach.

Barbara had the baby in December 1972. Rudi said to Barbara he was going to name the baby some Sanskrit name. But Little Guy named the baby, not realizing Rudi wanted to name her.

When Little Guy found out, he went down to the store to apologize for not letting Rudi name his child. Rudi yelled at Little Guy, but Little Guy knew this was the act of eliminating his bad karma and making him, Little Guy, superior to others through spiritual superiority.

The gracious Rudi gave the baby a middle name —Om.

The afternoon before Rudi died, Little Guy was at the store working for free. As Little Guy was leaving, he said goodbye to Rudi before he left for the airport. Little Guy knew nothing about the impending death in the plane. But Rudi knew.

Rudi died, and nobody cares what happened to Little Guy or his story, for nothing really happened except that he and Barbara lived stupidly ever after.

The end.