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Guest View: More help offered to ‘The Woman Who Spent Time With Keith’

Guest View: By One Who Cares:

To the Woman who spent time with Keith,

There isn’t a self-help group for ex-cult members. Even if there was, it’s most likely we’d have a hard time trusting one another and or getting along as a big group. It’s sad, but this blog has shown some of the unheralded wounds between ex-members who have not healed their wounds with each other.

PTSD runs rampant in ex-members due to the subtle abuse that takes place during your tenure in NXIVM. It doesn’t matter who you spent the most time with , Keith, Nancy, Lauren , Allison or any other high-ranking member, the abuse is about the same. The one thing different with Keith is, with some women, his manipulation with sex made time with him more emotional abusive. If this happened to you, my heart goes out to you.

Slowly, they all attempt to strip you of your control over your life choices, and it is like a dripper hose that sinks deep into the roots of your self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-defense. Before you know it, your mind has been reshaped into not being able to really think for yourself as there is a brain fog between your authentic self  that’s in their mind control.

Upon leaving, half the battle is done. If you were in long enough, you’re giving up a great deal to walk away and start a new life. That takes a certain awareness, courage, and inner strength that not everyone can get to, so they stay stuck in; there’s nothing you can do to help them get out except hold the space for them when they need to phone a friend or ask for a lifeline .

Of course, you would question yourself; you realize what you’ve gotten yourself into, and what you put up with for the amount of time that you are in. So many questions to examine; how could I not see what I see now? – how could I have spent so much money?, –  how did I get into so much debt? – how could I have been so angry at my family and friends when they were just concerned? – and, if you’re anything like many of us, how the hell did this happen to me?

We’re not taught about mind control, and it’s still a socially unacceptable thing to talk about. Look at how many people named on this blog have been called stupid [not on this blog but elsewhere in the comments section in the media] for getting involved.

Most con men are not held accountable. Those who are backed by billionaires are even less likely to be held accountable. The government does not have endless funds when it comes to prosecuting cases . So when you have someone like the Bronfman sisters paying for legal defense, a lot of government agencies will look the other way when criminal acts happen, that is — if they have not already been compromised .

The important thing is to get back to your authentic self. To do that, you have to re-engage in those things that are important to you before your mind started to be bent out of shape and find the things that fill your soul. Rebuilding yourself is your business, it’s just a matter of time, if you’re willing to put in the work.

It’s about reaching out to professionals and others who have left that you can trust to be there for you.

As for those who are still in that you want to save: My father used to say to me: “You can’t push a rope.”

I waited years for some people I cared deeply about to leave, after I did. Some are still involved. All I can do for them is “let go” and leave it to God. Meantime, I work to expose the truth. Not to them, they do not want to listen.

Peace be with you, and, if you want to talk, Frank has a pretty good idea of who I am and how to get hold of me. He can call me to verify and give you my phone number.

{Frank Parlato can be reached at 716-990-5740].




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  • Some wounds never heal. Sometimes people are scarred for life. Whether it is from betrayal or life events that have destroyed their sense of beliefs, belonging and being, any person can be wronged in so many different ways, each of which can slowly crack a person to eventually break a heart or soul. Some people, even if they recover somewhat, will never be the same, and they will remain with a sadness that persists until the day that they die.

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