Guest View: Mixed Message of Barbara Bouchey cause for concern and questions?

Barbara Bouchey

By Black Friday Bouchey;

Barbara Bouchey admits to being an NLP practitioner and a [former] board member of NXIVM. The only people who make it to the board of NXIVM are those that are will to do NXIVM deeds for them. At the time Bouchey was on the board, all other board members were women who were also sleeping with Raniere other than Nancy Salzman.

Did Bouchey learn NLP from Nancy Salzman? Did she use here NLP skills in NXIVM to sway students into doing things that would benefit the cult? Take classes they really couldn’t afford because of the value it would give them, trust Raniere as he was the noblest, honest, ethical man in the world? Remember this is the man who lost 1.2 million dollars of her money in the commodities market and never paid her back. Now she defends him.

Many who have left have stated that the inner leadership of NXIVM was the “cult” of NXIVM, the brainwashes, the mind-benders. (NLP is one of the tools used for mind-bending) Bouchey defends NLP and makes it out to be totally harmless.

Give her a break, Bouchey went on the record defending her position while in NXIVM and her relationship personally and professionally with Raniere to boost her public persona now that Bouchey is outside of the cult?

It’s complex, and one has to question why. Has she even started the healing process needed to recover once someone as deep as Bouchey was within the cult of NXIVM was to realize how dangerous, NXIVM and Raniere really are, or is she still blinded by her love for her Master?

Is she coming to the press in defense of NXIVM and her ex-lover, Raniere, in hopes that it will stop the litigation machine she claims she has been a victim of too for so many years?

Either way, she sounds like she is traumatizing those that left NXIVM by standing up and defending the very evil she participated in and then left.

I hope Sarah Edmondson recovers from being run over by the bus Bouchey drove over her several times in the article.

Barbara Bouchey ca. 2009. Keith Raniere once told her she was his great love, she said. As reported in Vice, her feelings about him seem to be mixed.

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Frank Parlato

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one who was there
one who was there
6 years ago

WOW ! I am amazed by the nastiness that a few others who have left (obvious from certain details) are spewing.
My guess is that some of it is coming from Kristin Keefe…who did oversee and slaughter many for Kieth and the Bronfman brats in lawsuits(including trying to destroy Barbara) and has much to atone for…..casting dark shadows on others will not bring any light to her life. Her wounds and sickness are deep and she is a very disturbed, as she spent almost 27 years with the Vantard.

It is also disturbing to hear some others re-writing history to paint a better picture of their own involvement or claiming to have been hypnotized. Misled..lied to…coerced…yes, I saw and experienced all of these things in my many years…but was not hypnotized. It seems as if some people are now joining a band wagon of cult theorists who want to explain away peoples involvement by saying it is because of this. Why? Do we feel ashamed to have been duped ?? I don’t . Keith and his little inner circle/army were and are masters of deceit. Those who are still there need to be educated in whats happening that is bad and not given general terms like brainwashing and hypnosis.

Lastly, this is exactly what Keith wants..he loves to divide people and cause in-fighting. In the end…that half breed-sub-human piece of crap will probably escape all charges anyhow..word is he’s already left. the real world, it would be nice to not cut each other to pieces,but instead try to help each other recover and move on from the darkness this group was/is to us. Turning on each other is not helping anyone. It makes us sound and look like uneducated, bitter, depraved humans…that’s what Vantard wants too .

When I say us..I mean those who have left. Please pick yourselves up and re-gain your dignity and your life…that’s the only way to truly beat him. -Peace

Former Insider
Former Insider
6 years ago

Love the try at reverse psychology but since I was also trained by Keith and Nancy, I recognized it right away. And though I only speak for myself, I think that many of us who left NXIVM simply want Barbara to publicly admit her real role in the cult and apologize for the harm that she caused to so many others. She personally pressured me and several others to take more and more courses that eventually ended up costing us tens of thousands of dollars and earned her some nice commissions. And she constantly lied about Keith’s relationships with women and flatly denied being in one herself. She’s also completely forgotten how outspoken she was about the need to bring lawsuits against people that Keith declared were our enemies (Natale, Ross, OHara, etc.). And she’s left out important FACTS about her bankruptcy, NXIVM’s lawsuits against her, etc. As far as I’m concerned, Barbara is just following the lead of her media coaches and trying to position herself to be the only real expert on NXIVM and Keith. As usual, the only person that Barbara cares about is herself.

Barbara Pants on Fire
Barbara Pants on Fire
6 years ago

Barbara, Barbara, Barbara
Liar liar pants on fire. You were in so deep. Lied in so many of NXIVM’s cases against their detractors, did their punishment and mind-bending.
Now you want to act pretentious like your the victim of countless lawsuits. It’s your karma isn’t it?
You were in how many of your own lawsuits with NXIVM & the B girls? Tell the truth. Wasn’t it only one really long lawsuit that just changed location from California to New York?
Wasn’t it you who ended the California case by filing falsely for bankruptcy? Once that was thrown out of court the cases just continued in New York. Let’s be honest Barbara, what’s wrong with the little full disclosure?
All the other lawsuits we’re other people’s that you were just deposed in or somehow voluntarily testify in. Let’s set this record straight so others really understand your legal battles weren’t just all NXIVM fighting you.

Been There, Saw That
Been There, Saw That
6 years ago

Raniere always likes to have one really cold, pompous bitch by his side. Before Clare took on that role, it was Bouchey and she filled the part very well.

All Bouchey cares about is herself. That’s was true BEFORE she was in NXIVM and WHILE she was in NXIVM and it’s still true NOW.

Bouchey’s original plan was to create another NXIVM-like organization with herself at the top. She even wanted to use some of Raniere’s modules in that new company.

Don’t buy into any of Bouchey’s bullshit in terms of finding good in evil. All she’s trying to do now is create a story that she can use to promote herself in the marketplace.

Note To Barbara: Stop trying to create some new persona that you think will make others think you’re a heroine. Instead, fire your publicist and your public relations firm and go get some therapy from a qualified person who can help you deal with the realities of who you are.

6 years ago

If Bouchey really is an abusive narcissist then she will always be an abusive narcissist. It’s not a “curable” condition, it’s a pattern of thinking and a belief system that is ingrained into a person.

I think the only question though, is if the authorities ever do launch an investigation, what evidence will they find to definitely link individuals to definite crimes.

Being an asshole, or a narcissist, or a bitch, are not crimes.Even lying is not a crime unless it’s done under oath.

What actual crimes have been committed and what laws have been broken? If investigators are going to press charges they are going to have to find the crime where they have the best chance of getting a conviction and where there is sufficient evidence to make an arrest.

Let’s hope law enforcement still has enough uncorrupted individuals, and they are working on it, and that they are waiting until they have enough evidence in place to act.

Barb the great abuser
Barb the great abuser
6 years ago

I spent years in NXIVM with Barb Bouchey. I found her to one of top cult leaders. She was abusive and if you didn’t agree with her there was hell to pay. She can’t see Raniere’s mind control because she does Raniere’s mind control.

She left when she fell from his grace (puke) and had a couple of years of one tantrum after another. She couldn’t leave alone, she had to drag others into her rebellion and use her mind control on them.

She finally left Albany with hardly anyone left talking to her. Even her brother stopped talking to her. She just one abusive bitch.

Peace be with you Barbara
Peace be with you Barbara
6 years ago

I hope that Barbara finds her way to healing after all she has been through. I did not agree with what she said in the VISE article and it made me sick to my stomach.

At first I wanted to be angry at her but then I realized that she must be suffering so mentally from all those years of abuse with Keith and Nancy and doing the best to hold on to what little stability she has left.

Opening old wounds takes a strong sense of self and a strong support group which she must not have to be able to honestly look deep within at the truth of all that has happened so cognitive dissonance is her only coping tool.

How can I say punishing things about her while she is in such a fragile state of mind. I don’t want to be responsible for pushing her over the edge. I will pray for her everyday that she finds peace and truth within her heart and mind.

6 years ago

If hypnosis,NLP, Psych-K, and other such tools are used as has been stated here and elsewhere, then this cult uses means to subconsciously target the mind. It is said that ~5-10% of the brain works consciously, while 90-95% works subconsciously, and it is the subconscious part of the mind/brain where these methods work. The subconscious part of your mind/brain is responsible for breathing, digestion, walking, driving, etc., i.e., patterns that we don’t consciously think about, and it is in this part where trauma and unconscious habits are stored, e.g., programmed patterns of behavior (both good and bad) keep impacting people without them being aware of it.

You can see it in people who left to several years after the fact. For example, as a former dedicated fan of Kristin Kreuk for years, I noticed her frequently using the language of NXIVM in interviews and conversation, words such as “growth”, “values”, and the like in ways that correspond to what people learn in these classes. Ideas like not getting married while you’re in your twenties but later in your mid thirties or never even doing so (but of course continuing to fuck around like the leader because sex is like playing the violin or a game of tennis) are unconsciously programmed into these individuals without them being aware. These are tools many licensed and regulated practitioners positively use, but of course NXIVM coaches and proctors aren’t such, and they can insidiously be used in ways that aren’t ethical.

So it isn’t surprising that Bouchey still is drinking a little bit of the kool-aid so to speak.

6 years ago
Reply to  SOS

Also the word ‘data’ is thrown about and misused a lot.

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” Parlato was also credited in the Starz docuseries "Seduced" for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Additionally, Parlato’s coverage of the group OneTaste, starting in 2018, helped spark an FBI investigation, which led to indictments of two of its leaders in 2023.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premiered on May 22, 2022. Most recently, he consulted and appeared on Tubi's "Branded and Brainwashed: Inside NXIVM," which aired January, 2023.

IMDb — Frank Parlato

Contact Frank with tips or for help.
Phone / Text: (305) 783-7083


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