The following is a synopsis of what happened to a woman who left DOS and the Vanguard – and how sugar helped her escape.
Comments from a woman who knows Keith Raniere:
I was put on the 500 calorie diet by Keith. But I would cheat nearly every day. I was more like about 1000 calories average. But I still got to the desired weight.
I was not the only one who cheats, of course. India probably cheated the most. Nicki did not seem to cheat too much. But she’s a vegan. Allison cheats and feels guilty.
Danielle, I’m not sure. I think so. Lola, and Dani. They don’t look good. Both of them changed a lot since they were branded. Dani was once so pretty. Now she looks like a chipmunk. Allison lost so much weight, her nose seems too big. None of them are healthy. You can see it in their eyes.
I think a woman can become healthy and slender. But Keith does not want them slender. He wants them underfed and sleep-deprived. He wants them weak and thinking hazy.
None of them get enough to eat. They’re always running. I used to lie about how many miles I ran.
Sometimes, the girls couldn’t get out of bed. They would lie when they’re texting their masters and say they were somewhere when their bodies were just exhausted and they could not get up.
I think they were sort of half-asleep. But who wouldn’t be with your sleep interrupted by readiness drills.
I sneaked sleep. I lied about the miles I ran. I was still thinking that I was into something that in time might be good. I think a lot of it was the other women. They were intelligent and they told me I would get results if I listened to Keith.
One late afternoon, Keith wanted to have a meeting with us. He called 15 minutes before he wanted to meet. We all have second phones and we always answer those phones first.
Keith did not call me. Lola called one of her slaves and she called me and the others. She told me Keith wants to see us in 15 minutes. I dropped everything. We were told 6 pm. We got there and waited. What does Keith want? What great thing might we be allowed to do in his service?
A half hour passed. Then 7 pm. No Keith. I had a meeting at 10 pm to sell a laptop. I had to sell my old laptop. It’s hard to make it on what Clare paid and pay for training and the rent.
At first, the women were chatty, but by 8 pm, we were talked out. Allison seemed dazed. By 8:30, Keith was an hour and a half late.
One of the women who had the least success losing weight was defiant.
She said, “This is bullshit. Keith is two and half hours late. He respects no one’s time.”
Lauren snapped. “He sacrifices his time for us. He’s always doing things to help us with our issues and you can’t wait a couple of hours?”
Another woman said “Keith works 120 hours a week and you’re upset because you have to wait two hours? This education is the most valuable thing in the world because it changes you.”
The defiant girl gave up and sat down on a comfortable chair. She closed her eyes and fell asleep. When Allison saw it, she nudged Nicki and rolled her eyes.
I started getting nervous when it came close to 9:30. I was supposed to meet the women about my computer at 10 pm.
At 9:50, I told Allison I didn’t know what to do. Allison snapped, “Cancel the appointment”.
I said I would go and be right back. .
It took me an hour. I could have done it quicker but we met at a restaurant and the woman who bought my computer ordered desert and I ordered chocolate cake. It was the first time I had sugar in two months.
I had a sugar rush. When I headed back., I was nervous. As I got closer, I became increasingly afraid.
I was hoping Keith hadn’t come and I could sneak in before he got there. It was 11 pm. When I arrived, he was there. He arrived about 15 minutes earlier.
Keith said, “Oh, you’re here?”
He spoke about the damage I had done.
He explained that what a person does in any given moment can change everything in their world. He wanted me to understand that when I had gone, this was one of those moments.
Not everyone has it in her to be a noble human being, he said to all of the women, meaning me.
If I hadn’t eaten the sugar, I would have listened more attentively. But to me, now, he was having a tantrum. He said he could not go ahead with the meeting.
One of us doesn’t have commitment. He meant me.
The other women were upset that I spoiled it for them. He said in front of the others, that I caused a problem for everyone of the women. This was an ethical breach.
He had kept six women waiting for almost five hours. I kept him waiting 15 minutes.
Keith put a timeline on my ethical breach. He said there are breaches that can be healed. But sometimes it cannot be healed in a lifetime. He was saying I could not cure my ethical breach.
I laughed nervously.
This set him off. He spoke of how women can descend by defiance and the results can be a terrible deadly thing. This was a pure attempt at terrorizing me.
I looked in his eyes and I realized, he was insane. Even if it was just pretend anger and drama, it was sick and manipulative. I turned for support from the other women. But they were in sympathy with him.
I realized this man is dangerous. If he told the women to put me a cage or paddle me, they would have done it. I knew him now to be a psychopath and a sadist. He is the worst combination of humanity. And this is the most destructive, most deceptive cult.
He is doing the worst and most deceptive kind of things possible. It’s bad because the way he does it makes its difficult to detect.
I did not feel guilty. I felt sorry for the other women. I knew he was being unethical.
He told the other women he had to go. Allison was red with rage. And she couldn’t wait to punish me when we were alone.
“What a fool”, one of the women said to me. “He was going to take you for a walk this evening. You could have had time alone and you gave it up to sell a computer. People pay $100,000 an hour for his time. What stupidity”.
I realized he planned to have sex with me. So did Allison. Her red rage turned to green. She wasn’t angry. She was jealous and glad I did not show up to go with Keith.
I decided to leave this group. Not to be funny, but the next day I ate meat.
I suddenly felt better and turned off my phone and slept.
I called my father and mother and told them, to their very great pleasure, that I was leaving and I left.