THE DOOR WAS OPEN, STUPID; Fern’s OneTaste Fantasy Case Falls Apart

The issue is freedom of choice.

Brooklyn Federal Prosecutor Sean Fern would ask you to believe that the freedom to stay or go isn’t freedom. He talks about sex, power, and sales.  Prosecutor Fern uses many words, some big and some small. He wants you to believe that people at OneTaste were forced to stay. He is trying to convince a jury that people can’t walk through an open door.  

What it comes down to is: The door was never locked. There were no guns. No fists. No shackles. Nobody had a knife. This wasn’t some dungeon. Nobody chained to radiators.

No guy with a whip standing by the espresso machine.

WELCOME TO SAN FRANCISCO: NOW PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON

At this company, people practiced something called orgasmic meditation. But this case isn’t about orgasmic meditation. That’s a sideshow.

OneTaste was a place full of people looking for something—maybe a new beginning. And the door was open.

But clever Fern calls witnesses to tell their stories. About sex. About sales. Salacious stories like it’s a Netflix drama—open relationships, fantasy games, BDSM! He says “open relationships” like it’s a slur. “BDSM” like it’s a bomb. He throws OM at the jury – orgasmic meditation—like a flashing neon sin.

It was fifteen minutes of stroking, with permission.

People left. People stayed. People moaned. Nobody died. No guns. No chains. This wasn’t Jonestown.

Sure, it wasn’t your average cubicle gig. People showed up, got their chakras stroked, and had the time of their lives. It was San Francisco.

Fern wants to put Rachel Cherwitz in prison for 20 years. Rachel, because she believed in the work and sold it. She led teams. She pushed people. She helped them, too. Some loved her. Some left.

OneTaste figured out their niche and did what every good American business does – sells it: OneTaste charged tuition and upsold the seminars.  Rachel gave herself to the practice and sales.

Tenacious. Sharp. Brilliant. Rachel was like the company itself—new, wild, beautiful in the way only the very determined can be. She believed it would help people. Rachel could be tough. But she cared. She helped people through heartbreaks, setbacks, and growing pains. People followed her because they believed. And when they didn’t? They left.

The story is being rewritten by bitter exes, terminated staff, and those with something to sell, people with grudges, people who chose to leave, who never had to stay, are mad. But they’re not honest.

Fern, dishonest himself, offers them as truth—the loud few. The quiet many—the students, the believers, the ones who stayed—are not called.

Let me translate the entire Fernian prosecution for you:

“We found a few angry exes and bitter bloggers. Let’s call it a criminal conspiracy!”

RACHEL VS. THE CRYBABY JANES

Ex-lovers, failed entrepreneurs, disgruntled Yelp reviewers. Add shame, resentment, “I wish I’d left sooner.” A thief and drug dealer. Crybaby Janes. It is a rogue’s gallery of regretful narcissists and Twitter trolls.

Misfits. Liars. Becky Uma Halpern. Michel Wright. The odious Chris Kosely. The despicable Dana Gill. The losers. Christina Berkely –the deplorable Michal Neria.

The ones who hated Rachel and the ones who wanted her.

Half of these witnesses wouldn’t pass a background check for a Costco job. Threaded through each testimony is a quiet refusal to own one’s choices. Adults, educated, often well-off, narrating their lives as though they were scripted by someone else.

They say OneTaste misled them. That sex they regretted wasn’t theirs to regret. That careers gone sideways were stolen, not chosen. That bad love, bad bosses, even broken parents—were someone else’s fault.

JONESTOWN? PLEASE. THIS WAS A SALES JOB WITH NAKED YOGA

Some made money. Some made drama. Some regret their lives and are selling their regret to the sadistic Fernian prosecution.

And the savage ones know that Rachel did not chain anybody to a floor. She didn’t ruin anyone’s life. She built a company. OM was its core offering. Consent forms were signed. Codes of conduct outlined. Jobs were hard, hours long, and the pay was lean.

FORCED LABOR? THEY HAD UBER

These people were adults with degrees, jobs, and bank accounts. Some had been through divorces, therapy, and failure. Some were searching. Some were dishonest imbeciles. But they knew what they were signing up for. They had smartphones. Families. Apartments. They had Uber. They had Google Maps and Netflix subscriptions.

They found OneTaste and stayed a while because they believed in it. Because they wanted what it offered. They took classes and got into OM. They all rode the orgasmic wave until it got inconvenient.

Now they want a refund on their choices. Now they’re testifying that OneTaste broke them.

A lineup of educated, employed, sexually active adults turned imbecile, take the witness stand to say they were brainwashed.

“It’s not my fault.”

The witnesses are full-grown, pants-wearing, bill-paying adults. They’re going up there and saying they were tricked.

“I REGRET MY ORGASM” IS NOT A LEGAL ARGUMENT

OneTaste wasn’t a trap. They signed up. They stripped down.  They joined willingly. Attended naked yoga. Sent emails. Caught flights. Had brunch. They stayed because the sex was good and the job was wild.

Now they’re older, maybe lonelier, maybe bored. All of them were always fundamentally dishonest, and rather than blame themselves for their failure, they want to blame someone. So they blame Rachel. We’re supposed to believe Rachel mind-controlled them. She didn’t hold them down. She didn’t whisper “work forever“ in their sleep.

What is the one common thread in Fern’s case? A refusal to take personal responsibility.

There was no conspiracy, no dark pact behind closed doors. These numbskulls could leave whenever they wanted. Free to leave. Free to stay. Free to OM or get a job at Starbucks.

Rachel didn’t force anything. She didn’t agree to force anything. That door? It never had a lock.

Verdict? Not guilty.

Now, Fern, go get some air. Don’t forget your coat on the way out.

Frank Parlato

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist, media strategist, publisher, and legal consultant.

Frank Parlato

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist, media strategist, publisher, and legal consultant.

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