Bonnie Piesse Abyss Story
Bonnie Piesse tells an intriguing story of her spiritual awakening in her podcast “I Am The Sky.”
Listen to her full account here.
She says while she was in NXIVM, she realized that “the Kundalini that had been activated in my system was getting stuck in areas of my body because I was in a state of stress and trauma.”
One interesting part concerns Bonnie’s belief that Keith Raniere borrowed some of her spiritual awakening story for himself.
Bonnie said:
I joined NXIVM. That turned out to be a cult. But there were things in the beginning of NXIVM, that also felt profound in unlocking certain programming and belief systems limiting beliefs…
So even though there was all this dark stuff going on… there was something that drew me to it…
Then, in 2016, I was journaling, and I started to realize that I could ask questions and get a response in the journaling, like a wise response that was seeming to come from a higher place, my highest self or something, some kind of spirit guide. …
I was doing this process where I’d ask questions and get these answers that felt really true and wise… I had started meditating again, I started going within, and in my meditations, I had found that there was this abyss, there was like a void.
And every time I would… put my baby toe into it or kind of sink a little bit into it, there’d be these explosions. I guess they were along the lines of… joy explosions. But it felt even more than that. Like real energetic like. And so obviously, it was like a little too much to go into that abyss to let myself go in. But it was calling me; it was pulling me. There was kind of like a gravitational force to it. But it was scary. It was like, ‘Oh my gosh, what is this?”; like so intense…
So I was slowly starting to go in, slowly dropping a little more, relaxing a little bit more, into that abyss, not letting that energy happen, just sinking into it. And I became really aware of all these pockets, or areas in my body that were grasping that we’re holding on. So literally like a muscular tension, just all these different areas in my torso holding on.
And I started to try to relax them, using the breath… even putting my hand on some of those areas, and breathing into them and encouraging them to relax, bit by bit….
And on the 10th day of this process… everything relaxed. Every single thing that I had felt that was holding on, relaxed and released. And there was this stillness, this emptiness, this stillness, no fear. I never experienced, at least not that I could remember, ever experiencing no fear, not having any stress or fear in my body, in my system…
It was like, beautiful. So I went to sleep. And I woke up… bolt upright, at like 2am or 3am. Just like, wow, what, what just happened. And suddenly, my whole system was filled with like that joy… flooding through every single cell of my being like light, light and love, this divine energy in my entire body. And I could feel everything rewiring. It was like I knew at that moment that my DNA was being rewired. And I held up my arm in front of me, and I literally could see these mathematical equations… quantum physics stuff of like these equations going like from number 10, like the numbers dialing or something. And yeah, numbers of light, mathematics, rewiring in my cells…
And I was having all these different kind of mystical experiences, you know, of past lives coming to me. And all these faces of people, which I didn’t know… maybe I was tapping into people around the world. Or they were my past lives, these moments of death actually…. but it wasn’t scary. It was like I was present and I was with all these faces as they flashed before my eyes. They were faces pleading for love, pleading to be OK, pleading to know they were okay. And so from this space, I would just kind of be in love. And they would flash through, and they felt like they were unraveling and somehow resolving… It felt like something big was being processed and released and healed. And every day, there was some new experience.
I was noticing that my intuition just had burst open. Suddenly, I had access to all of this intuitive information… I started to tell people… “I found this joy. We can all have this.” And there were a few people around me who were really inspired… It was inspiring them to start meditating and start looking for that in themselves.
But then some people… thought that I was crazy. And I was telling more and more people in NXIVM… And they didn’t know what to do with me. They literally thought I was nuts. And word was starting to spread within NXIVM that “Bonnie had gone crazy…”
So I shared this experience with Keith… Because I assumed that he’d experienced this and had an understanding of it all and could help me navigate it… And I… shared with him about this experience and the abyss that I found….
[Keith would do these forums where he’d get up and… lecture and answer people’s questions.] And he was in this forum. He started talking about his awakening, like years and years ago or whatever. And he started saying that he found this abyss.
And I had a moment of like, ‘you never mentioned that abyss before. But are you stealing my story’ kind of thing. But I didn’t think anything of it until later. And then I was looking back going, “oh, yeah, he totally stole my story.”…
So I was planning my my exit at that point…. It took me a number of months to make that decision to leave.
Did Keith Crib From Bonnie?
Bonnie had her awakening in 2016/2017. Did Keith steal her concept of “the abyss” to use for his own self-aggrandizing? Possibly even to diminish Bonnie’s experience on a subtle level? While Keith is known to lift concepts and ideas from others without attribution, it’s not likely that this was the case here.
According to former students, Keith had talked about “the abyss” in numerous forums, particularly when referring to his own journey of self-transformation.
He has also used the term in unpublished articles written years before Bonnie’s awakening. For example, in one article discussing human motivation, he states, “Other people are seduced by questions and to varying degrees led to explore them. Some just peer ever so timidly and infrequently towards the unknown, others literally live their lives hanging on the edge of the abyss.”
It’s certainly likely that Bonnie was not aware of these things. Many were known to fall asleep during “Vanguard Forums.”
Keith had also mentioned the abyss – even if it was total bullshit – in a Text message to Camila, which was part of discovery at his trial.
The abyss is mentioned in a text dated August 27, 2014 – about two years before Bonnie told Keith about her vision of an abyss.
Text Between Camila and Keith
8:14pm – Keith: Tonight I am going to CP [Clifton Park]… I will be back around 6:30 am… Maybe we can meet then although I don’t know… Our normal looks good…
8:23pm – Camila: Ok
8:15 pm – Keith: How was the module?
8:22 pm – Camila: The module was amazing
8:24 pm – Camila: Is that what you meant by jumping into the abyss?
While I personally am not eager to jump into an abyss or even put my toe there for fear of catching cold – I appreciate there are higher mystical realms than I or Horatio may ever know. An abyss reserved for Vanguards where regardless of the external abode the abyss looks not unlike the SHU after nearly a year at USP Tucson.
Well done Bonnie. You did great. I’m pleased you’re doing well.
Keep it up.
She is is a Piesse of shit. She married soy-boy Vicente. What a cuck.
This reminds me of how the whole NXIVM inquiry process is a direct copy of Morty Lefkoe’s Freedom Course for people who are interested in learning about reframing without the cult garbage.
Bonnie needs to be on that gorgeous women of NXVIM calendar too. With Nicki, Sarah, Alison, Kristin, India and others.
She’s amazing
I had imagined that she was a much more practical person.
She was so brave to see the danger around her and leave, but now it seems she’s gone back down the rabbit hole hoping to find another alternate reality more to her liking.
Wow. What an amazing combination of hate, envy, and anger these comments express.
Disappointed to read about this “new age” b.s. that Bonnie is preaching. As another reader commented, she was the “real reason NXVIM collapsed. “ I don’t think she gets enough credit in the take down of the organization. She set the wheels in motion. I thought it was great that she didn’t seek the attention with podcasts. But I guess that is changing, she is just like all the rest. If she could just focus on her acting. She was terrific in Obi Wan Kenobi. If she sticks with that, she would look like a hero. But this new age stuff makes her look like she is starting anew cult.
RE Bonnie:
The nicest thing I can say – is also the most shallow:
Bonnie has gotten gotten much better looking with age.
Favorite song:
https://music.apple.com/us/album/the-bonnie-banks-of-loch-lomond/523544435?i=523544436
Just another lunatic Raniere follower
I think she was the real reason NXIVM collapsed. I have a lot of respect for her. And as opposed to other ex NXIVM members, she doesn’t seem to seek attention and rewarding.
But her whole new age-ish thing is…. Weird To me I have to admit. Gotta be careful not to cult hop.
Piesse Is a real piesse of work.
She’s a cult hopper who jumped from kundalini to Nxivm. But then oh goodness! she discovered Nxivm is a cult. Like Kundalini isn’t 🙄
I actually listened to this podcast. I am the sky indeed. Like her skull is full of nothing but California air. A real air head, our Bonnie.
She’s a flower child born half a century too late. Lives completely inside her own head. Concerned with nothing but her spiritual journey 🤮
She babbles on and on about herself. I began to wonder, has this girl ever had a job? Whose trust fund is she living on as she meditates (as she says) several hours a day, travels India searching for her guru and wandering around South America? Who pays the bills so she can sit on a private beach in Malibu as the sun sets, contemplating the Infinite?
By her own account, she has had these joyful experiences maybe three times in her life. Mostly just for a few hours. The rest of the days she’s vaguely dissatisfied with her golden privileged life. Poor her…
What this girl needs is an occupation. A job.
She’s a flake. Vicente and her deserve each other. She tells of waking up at 3am thinking her DNA was being “rewired”. What that’s supposed to mean is anyone’s guess. Simplest explanation is she’s unhinged from reality. Anyway, she says she saw “quantum math” equations flowing over her arms. More quantum woo of the kind Vicente peddled in that idiotic What The Bleep movie of his.
She thinks this kind of shit is profound. Like it’s a good thing to have hallucinations.
She’s nuts. And proud of it. And people listen to her bullshit, apparently. She’s got this podcast.
Anyway, this is the kind of person who joined Nxivm. Gullible loonies and airheads, preferably rich, young and pretty.
She does Tarot for a living apparently, in addition to singing and acting.
Strange brew these NXIVM actresses all are.
Very well written Aristotle. Bonnie apparently is an actress who was lucky enough to have a small role in two StarWars sequels. This must have provided her with ample funds that enables her to loose herself in airy thoughts in a Malibu oceanfront villa. And play tarrot cards. But she eventually did see through Raniere. Got to give her credits for that.
Aristotle-
I agree 💯!!!!
Further more “SoMeTHiNg” tells me her, “Intuitive Tarot Reading
50 minutes @ $275.00” is a waste of money.
https://app.squarespacescheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=20655706
The money is better spent on Frank’s homeless men’s beauty school charity.
Toni Natalie gives $50 scrotum readings.
😂 scrotum readings by Toni Nata-lie
Bonnie started working at 14 years old.
Who cares what she believes in?
She’s not hurting anyone.
Artists are intuitive.
That’s how they are able to sit in a room alone and know what’ will make an audience laugh. They instinctively now which notes to choose for music. How to paint a feeling. How to take a photograph that evokes emotion.
The world is full of people and they’re all different for a reason.
You don’t have to get your tarot cards rread or listen to her podcast.
Bonnie did a good, brave thing.
This is a person who trusted her gut when everyone around her was intellectualizing and overthinking and justifying absolutely horrific philosophy and mistreatment.
People have evolved with different gifts and levels of ability for this very reason. For the sake of humanity and preserving their own personal safety.
Yu never know what type of person is going to be the bellwether. Sometimes it’s a scientist sometimes it’s a child. Sometimes it’s a groovy lady who believes in woo woo stuff but can also detect b******* like Keith on a deep cellular level that all the self proclaimed smarty pants around him didn’t sense
Personally, I would trust an artist over a lot of other “types” of people. You can’t talk an artist out of what they instinctively know to be true (for themselves) for very long, If at all. They’re in touch with a part of themselves that can never get got. But they also can be open-minded to a fault.
It’s Bonnie’s life and if she wants to spend it on a spiritual Quest or seeking and it’s not negatively impacting you or other people I’d say mind your own business and choose your own path in life. It’s an admirable trait when someone goes their own way
This new format on the blog kind of sux tho
You could use that same rationale for why it was ok for people to take NXIVM courses, no body was forcing them! They were all on a spiritual quest after all.
That’s pretty reductive and not the same thing at all. Not really in the business of rationalizing. But there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with taking a self-help course. Except for wasting your money. There is something wrong with giving up all of your power to a man who calls himself Vanguard and being a follower and joining a cult. There is something wrong with being sexually blackmailed and having initials fraudulently burned into your flesh under the guise that it was a symbol of the elements. It seems you can’t make the distinction between one woman living her life the way she wants to and a guy running a destructive cult. But that’s okay! Because again, it takes all types. Wishing the best of luck to you in whatever lifestyle you choose!
There’s a big difference between being an “artist type” and having flaky, not rooted in reality type of beliefs that AS pointed out. It’s that kind of new age woo “thinking” that gets you involved in destructive cults in the first place.
And gets you out of the cult too.
You’re never gonna control every single person’s level of woo woo belief.
Something like 50% of Americans believe in Angels. Ghosts are a “thing”.many people believe. Horoscopes are huge again
And you’ve heard of religion, right? That’s some REAL woowoo, to a lot of people. And each religion thinks they are the one true supernatural story.
Let it go. Live your own life.
Strange play: to defend someone for their “woo” by mocking the “woo” of others.
>> And gets you out of the cult too.
That was just her using her finally using her common sense (not her woo) to realize what people outside of the cult saw from the beginning.
>> Something like 50% of Americans believe in Angels. Ghosts are a “thing”.many people believe. Horoscopes are huge again
Meh. So called atheistic scientists believe the Universe expanded from some really tiny, hot, dense mass called a singularity on its own and formed itself into the giant behemoth 100 billion light years in diameter that exists today, and evolution (which is a bunch of magical nonsense) did the same thing for life on this planet just because there was enough time for a series of random accidents to happen and form fully functioning systems.
>> And you’ve heard of religion, right? That’s some REAL woowoo, to a lot of people.
Religion is just an organized form of how a group of people live their lives based on a set of beliefs. There’s not a single person on the planet who doesn’t have a set of beliefs and acts according to them. Whether that is organized or individual, based on rationality or whims, or somewhere in between, those beliefs put into action is effectively a “religion”.
>> And each religion thinks they are the one true supernatural story.
Newsflash. There is only one truth story. This “my truth” or “your truth” is a bunch of post-modern BS.
>> Let it go. Live your own life.
Umm…no one was “hanging on” to anything.
I don’t know what point you’re trying to make about the woo woo. My point is that it’s all woo woo to someone else.
That is actually not the definition of religion at all.
There is always a spiritual” element or ya don’t get that tax break (in America)
And you definitely left out the part about the invisible magical friend who lives in the sky.
All religions can seem ridiculous to someone who holds different beliefs. And yes, woo woo.
I myself, have faith. But I also understand that faith is believing in things that you cannot empirically prove or know factually in a scientific way to be true. But believing anyway.
And I’m respectful of those who have different faiths, views and perspectives and thankfully live in a country that celebrates freedom of religion and upholds the right for people to worship as they choose.
And that includes woo woo.
Have a great summer celebrating the deity and embracing the belief system of your choosing!
It’s been nice chatting but I must now go talk to some rocks about the giant hamburger underground who controls us all through her pickle slices!
I kid. I kid.
But seriously. Wishing you all the best.
>> I don’t know what point you’re trying to make about the woo woo. My point is that it’s all woo woo to someone else.
No. I don’t believe in the “flattening” of the opinions and truth claims of people to be equivalent. You believe that too despite what you say here, and the fact that you declare something as “woo” means you believe there exists its opposite.
>> That is actually not the definition of religion at all.
>> There is always a spiritual” element or ya don’t get that tax break (in America)
I didn’t say that was the definition of religion, nor strictly limited the term to those ideas. I said that is what is encompassed by it and that no human being is free from the them.
>> And you definitely left out the part about the invisible magical friend who lives in the sky.
The absurdity of this ridiculous strawman by atheists should be permanently labelled as “woo”. With one side of their tongues, atheists claim a lack of hubris in their assertions that human beings are insignificant in the Universe, that the human being is just another life form that luckily happened to evolve. With the other side of their tongues, they declare that Necessary Being, the highest being in the hierarchy of existence, the eternal Creator, Sustainer, Provider, etc., is just an “invisible magical friend who lives in the sky”.
Proof is subjective. Truth exists whether you like it or not.
>> All religions can seem ridiculous to someone who holds different beliefs. And yes, woo woo.
So what? How someone subjectively views something is not any indicator of its truth value.
>> I myself, have faith. But I also understand that faith is believing in things that you cannot empirically prove or know factually in a scientific way to be true. But believing anyway.
Faith is as simple as believing that things will be good for you today, or in trusting someone who gives you their word that they will do what they claim. Faith in the religious context has never been “blind”. It’s only ever been in events that are uncertain to happen due to the serial nature of time and that are out of our control, or in beliefs or events that are claimed that will occur in the future, like an objective purpose, or the eschatological destination, of man. It is a constant act to overcome a rearing doubt instilled in human beings by their own selves and what has been dubbed in religion as “satanic forces” due to the vicissitudes of life.
>> And I’m respectful of those who have different faiths, views and perspectives and thankfully live in a country that celebrates freedom of religion and upholds the right for people to worship as they choose.
Nah, you’re not respectful of them. You just tolerate them.
Bonnie is a beautiful person on the outside and reading her inner thoughts made me want to meditate. I’ve noticed there seems to be a certain kind of pride that comes with being a victim. Maybe it’s because their survivors of a cult.