Allen ‘Alanzo’ Stanfield, blogger, businessman, and former Scientologist wrote a comment on my story, Damon ‘I Will Endeavor Not to Feed the Hatred I Have Felt Toward Frank.’
He took exception to a sentence I wrote as if it had a hint of hypocrisy.
The sentence is, “Damon Brink is trying not to hate me, and for that, I won’t thank him. I will thank him for putting his name behind his words.”
After calling my attention to the offending sentence, Alanzo commented:
And yet you fill the comment section of your blog with the worst, most cruel, lying, and racist anonymous trolls – personally attacking your commenters and hiding who they are.
You and I have discussed important sources who have been driven away from your blog by this.
Tell us, Frank:
Why don’t you moderate your blog?
By Frank Parlato:
Why don’t you, Alanzo, try being diplomatic. Not with me, but with commenters who distress you.
Try not to reciprocate ad hominem attacks. As it is now, trolls love to taunt you because you make it fun for them. While they are anonymous, you are not; they know who you are, so they make it a sport to try to get a rise out of you.
You get angry; they love it…
Try humor. Never show temper. Don’t be petulant. Trolls will either be amused if they are kindly trolls [as most Frank Report commenters are], or they will get bored and leave you alone.
That is the secret of dealing with trolls — when using your name — while they are not – never get angry and, of course, never afraid. Who can be afraid of an anonymous troll?
Some trolls may be Scientologists who have an agenda to discredit you for your longstanding criticism of Scientology.
These Scientologists are wise, bright folk, for they know about Xenu, the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy, who brought billions of aliens to Earth in a spacecraft 75 million years ago, then placed them around volcanoes, for dramatic effect, and killed them with hydrogen bombs.
According to Scientology, the ghosts of these aliens, called thetans, still haunt the earth, possess humans, and are commenting on Frank Report.
But how could anyone be angry at a thetan or someone who believes in them? Isn’t a little compassion indicated for such a tormented, ghastly long-suffering creature? And don’t forget the thetans have it bad too.
Most Commenters Don’t Care About Scientology.
Most commenters who mock you are not thetans or Scientologists in the clear.
Most are online hobbyists who size you up and want fun. Some of the most acerbic comments have been from commenters who have been around long before you started gracing us with your insightful words.
Nice Guy [above] knows damn well that feigning anger towards Alanzo, attacking him, and getting him to attack will be one of the highlights of his day. He did the same thing to Scott Johnson.
Johnson Came and Went
Scott Johnson, like you, Alanzo, used his real name. Like you, he had a bad experience with a group that some have called a cult – Amway.
He didn’t sign a two-billion-year contract, but I think he had a good decade in and lost money.
Scott, a big Texan – like he was 6’6″ – felt it his duty to give a snappy answer to everyone. He littered the Frank Report with thousands of comments, mostly one or two liners, all negative and usually responding to somebody else’s comment.
He was miffed because he could not get anyone on Frank Report to share his enthusiasm for anti-Amway discussion.
Readers asked that I ban Scott. At one time, I blocked most of his comments. I tried to ask him to comment on topics instead of criticizing commenters. He would even comment on a typo, calling the commenter a moron or stupid.
An artist’s depiction of Scott Johnson trying to make a commenter feel small.
One little rascal posted this on social media.
For my part, I enjoy trolls.
It gives me satisfaction to know trolls have to hide who they are to be able to say what they want while I am out in the open – warts and all – saying whatever I like – in my own name.
One time, I was attacked by trolls who felt it their duty to reveal what a devil I am.
At the time, I was a little wroth, so I investigated and found out who they were, got background on them, called people, and found out more — where they lived, what they did. I contacted them by phone and said I was writing about them and would use their real names. They both filled their diapers.
One lied at first and said it wasn’t him. I said, “No problem, then it won’t matter if I use the name.” I never heard a peep from him again.
The other one told me she could lose her job if I outed her. Get into real trouble at home. She had spewed vitriol at me for months, anonymously. Now I had her. The tables were turned.
She was petrified. Then I realized she was just a baby, brave only so long as she was anonymous.
I didn’t out her.
Since then, I’ve especially enjoyed anonymous trolls who criticize me, for I know they are babies who prattle with their big little mouths because they think no one will ever call them out and make them change their diapers.
They are safe to shit on others and think their own excrement is fragrant because they do not have to stand behind what they write.
I feel a little superior, for the anonymous vitriolic troll is a coward. They don’t put their yellow backbone behind their silver tongue.
In my world and yours too, Alanzo, if you are going to dish it out, then be able to take it, which means you take it in your name, not some fake persona.
A guy with the courage to be out there with his real name in the land of trolls, even if he is a defiant ass like you are, Alanzo, and I am, is worth a thousand trolls.
But there is no harm in being diplomatic, in practicing noblesse oblige.
Sure, I like to have fun with cowards, but I am careful not to scare them. I never threaten a troll that I will find out who they are. That’s giving the coward too much credit.
Of course, many trolls are mentally ill, and others, as you said, are looking to vent their racism.
I admit sometimes I taunt them.
Like this fool Patriot God who, in response to calling me names, I told him I was a psychiatrist and had diagnosed him with an acute epileptoid manifestation of the pan phobic melancholiac with paranoid delusory affectation. I urged him to take his medications.
He responded by calling me “ginzo” and “nigger.” I was depressed. I had hoped for something subtle and clever in repartee, but the best he came up with was Frank Niggerlato.
I learned my lesson. Never expect clever repartee from a troll.
If you want my best advice in dealing with trolls, never show surprise, be amused, and don’t show temper.
If you follow my advice, I won’t have to do a thing about moderating the comments section.
Now, if you will forgive a short poem:
and—which is more—you’ll be a troll master, my son!
A Word on Being Misquoted
It is inevitable that, in addition to insult, some troll will misquote you.
When they do, remember these sage words of Rudyard Kipling that someone recently posted online:
“I am the most widely misquoted man on the internet. When people who use their own names do it, I resent it. But when anonymous trolls misquote me, and I find it on some blog or social media, I find it intolerable.” Rudyard Kipling
How many comments which litter this comment section were actually written by the drunken dipshit troll “Nice Guy”?
I estimate that 27 of the 86 posts here (at the present count) were written by “Nice Guy”, under that name and many others, including “Anonymous” etc. They aren’t nice or funny. They are usually crude, drunken and profane personal attacks completely ignoring the topic of the post.
That’s disruptive to discussion. It turns what could be an important website – the Frank Report – into something way less than that.
The comments section of the Frank Report doesn’t need to be a daily bar fight. By unapologetically deleting any off topic comment that solely attacks other commenters, especially those that dox or are especially cruel, this situation can be improved tremendously. It would not add any time to the moderation that is already going on behind the scenes here.
I have no idea why Frank would want to create this kind of environment for people.
You talk about insulting people.
LMAO & you!
What is it you do?
Please explain the following:
“Notice how these anticultist dipshits can’t address anything that Suneel actually writes?”
“No one is actually fooled by this unless, of course, you’re another anticultist dipshit like “Alex”.”
You, Alonzo, request sadomasochist pornography and threaten a Supreme Court Justice with rape:
“Can we get the artist Marie White to create a sketch of Moira Penza in nine inch heels, standing over Judgey G, who’s on all fours, tugging a dog collar around his neck?”
Wow, sadomasochistic and misogynistic language from, you, Alonzo, I’m so shocked….
…Actually, I don’t expect anything less from a pedo-cult lover, like you.
It must suck being so lonely, you’ll make friends with pedophile apologists and their pedo-master. God, your life is pathetic. How’s the therapy going?
It’s called FREEDOM OF FUCKING SPEECH, Alanzo!
We already have problems with Ginzo and his cronies raping people of their free speech! Stop coming over here and adding fuel to that fire!
If you don’t like it, then leave this website and country, you damn commie bastard!
Blah, blah, blah! You’re a fat hog!
Alonzo is a hypo-crite:
•You doxed me.
•You make fun of my voracious alcoholism.
•You eat RingDings®️ and don’t share!
• You call everyone a dip shit.
Alonzo, how self-delusional are you?
LMAO @ you!
What about SPANKY!? aka SultanOfSix?
He was and is a crazy little fellow.
Sultan left after he unleashed Alonzo on us. I’m sorry to inform you, our dear Sultan has had the last laugh. He paid us back in spades.
Alonzo grew a beard, so when he gives a blow job, it feels like a pussy. Mmmh…
These kind of bullshit nasty attacks that do not relate to the story probably should not be approved. I think Alanzo is right. Some moderation is needed.
Frank, me thinks you are a lying liar who lies. You heavily moderate this blog at your choosing, when it makes you look bad. Talk about self righteous. Ironic you claim to “let” this one through. Quit trying to outsmart the smart ones, it’s a loosing battle.
While I am not supporting all “nasty attacks” letting Alanzo dox commenters is much more egregious. And it will hurt your blog readership and comnent participation in the long run. You are potentially opening yourself to liability, as well.
Alanzo really brings out the worst in people due to his own heinous behavior. Not because of any faux altruistic fight with his past cult. But simply because the guy is an unmitigated ass and harasser of others on this space. You really play favorites and ignore his arrogant constant bombardment of those he targets.
I will do my best to stop the doxing, if possible, of commenters against Alanzo. I do find it fascinating that there is this tension between Alanzo and a group of hostile or at least seemingly hostile commenters.
Don’t you mean “satisfying” rather than fascinating?
Nothing here is fascinating, least of all the drama you encourage.
It is satisfying to be fascinated.
I’ll stop with the crass comments and keep it rated PG-13.
Have a great day on this second day of Spring!
Yeah let’s “moderate” people’s free speech rather than just ignore it, asshole! You’re a fucking genius! Why don’t you just admit that you’re a fucking communist, asshole?!
I strenuously dispute your characterizations of me. You called me a an asshole and you called me a communist.
I am definitely not a communist.
Might as well be! You act just like one and every time you’re confronted about taking people’s free speech, you just run away and hide just like a commie! You might as well be a member of the CCP, Frank!
No Way would Frank be accepted for membership. Sorry about that.
If you were labeled as an enemy of NXIVM, it wasn’t a joke. From what most of us have heard, it’s the same thing with Scientology. IMO, when Niceguy ANONYMOUSLY attacks Alanzo, he is being disrespectful to those who have been through being deemed an enemy by a group such as NXIVM.
It’s fine if he doesn’t think the Scientologists are on FR and doing their own moderating of Alanzo. I think it’s more than obvious they are here.
Why ANONYMOUSLY tease/poke/attack Alanzo and muddy the waters?
BTW, Niceguy, I will no longer be interacting with people I think might be you – only if you use the niceguy moniker. I’ve already been dragged into the Scientologist shithole once, and MAYBE your games aren’t as harmless as you think.
—IMO, when Niceguy ANONYMOUSLY attacks Alanzo, he is being disrespectful
Alanzo can taunt rape victims, but I can’t taunt Alonzo, because it’s offensive?
Alonzo is taunting the very “victims” you are speaking about you dumb fuck!
F.U. you! You sanctimonious twat.
You were going to dox me. Fucking hypocrite. Lick my taint and suck my balls!
Censor me and let Alonzo taunt rape and molestation victims. FUCK YOU!
If you wanted to get under my skin, this is the way to do it! Coddle a fucking scum like Alonzo!
Censor me and allow a fucking scum like Alonzo to shit all over rape and molestation victims!
Taunt him all you want. I really don’t care. I simply want you to do it under your niceguy moniker. It sucks enough with the Scio pusses lapping at everyone’s ass. You blending in with them makes it worse.
—IMO, when Niceguy ANONYMOUSLY attacks Alanzo, he is being disrespectful to those who have been through being deemed an enemy by a group such as NXIVM.
What did you mean by that?
If I have to see Alanzo’s vitriolic taunting of female rape and molestation victims, I’m not going to stay mum.
I hate asshole pedophile apologists; sorry if I offended your sensibilities….
If ASO is here, I hope they help me flush that giant-ass-turd, Alonzo down the F’ing toilet!
I love the Scio nonexistent pussies. If they are here, I hope they send me some intel. I’ll welcome them with open arms!
Meanwhile, the ASO are nonexistent and all completely Alonzo’s own active imagination. I wonder how Alonzo’s therapy sessions are going….
I think they’re here. You don’t. Everything else is noise around us agreeing to disagree on this.
I’ve already shown how you lie when you troll people.
And now you’re lying again:
This is a delusion you’ve cooked up in your drunken brain to rationalize all the dipshit trolling you’ve done to people for years on this blog, littering the comment section with multiple off-topic comments, disrupting the conversation, doxxing people, and driving off intelligent and relevant stakeholders with important things to say.
You’re clearly mentally unstable. You’re an alcoholic. And you can’t handle the result of your own actions.
Are you an Ex-NXIVM member who has become so ashamed of himself for “having joined a cult” that you have become a deranged, drunken and hateful troll?
Did you rape an underage girl or boy and you can’t handle the guilt you feel?
Why are you even here, “Nice Guy”?
Here’s a quote from Alonzo:
“Girls will be girls and especially Espian girls. Nothing like a little celebrity status for an Espian girl and so with the seed of a brilliant idea, the girls fuck, conniving, pretending and basically doing what girls do.”
Alonzo is mentally ill and a misogynist. Plus he’s a total loser.
I think Frank might actually have one of most interesting and well moderated blogs in all the modern world and maybe Alonzo is a little bit jealous?
I mean? Frank is actually kind of famous for his wild and gonzo style journalism. I’m kinda hoping he next takes down CT Family court and finally earns some kind of prestigious award for his innovation in pursuit of the truth.
Maybe I’m just not aware of other people like him that are trying to do the same thing, but I still think Frank might be in special category of people who lives by his word as his sword and his armor. I think he’s a fascinating journalist. I have other reasons that I’ve been a reader of this blog for so many years, but this is definitely one of them!
I don’t mind. I would rather freedom prevailed. I am appalled at Russia but I still do not support the UK regulator Ofcom’s decision to withdraw Russia Today’s UK broadcasting licence as most of us can tell what is propaganda pretty well anyway and if we ban things, we become as bad as Russia
Alanzo has not won himself much love from Frank Report readers because he knows little about the case yet takes an intentionally confrontational position with data spoon-fed to him by the still-NXIANS, and does so with the attitude that people who disagree with him are ethically and morally suspect.
One can only speculate on his motives, but by appearances, it seems he’s someone with an unquenchable need for attention which is borne out by the number of years he’s been publicly starting dramas on the Internet.
You’re not watching people troll Alanzo. You’re observing a readership that’s lost patience with his unrelenting self-righteousness and simply cannot take it anymore.
As for why people comment anonymously, let’s not forget that NXIVM has a history of being litigious and vindictive. Let’s also not forget Alanzo has doxxed at least 2 commenters here that I’ve observed. People have genuine and legitimate reasons to want to keep their identities hidden.
This is a good assessment, not typical of the Frank Report comment section.
I have defenses for this. But it’s more important right now to acknowledge this is the kind of clear thinking that could prevail on the Frank Report if its comment section was moderated.
A moderated comment section would also bring sources and stake holders to this blog to present their 1st hand experience. Not that their ideas would never be challenged – they just wouldn’t be personally and constantly and unfairly trashed.
The way the Frank Report exists right now – no true source or stakeholder will contribute here.
Maybe they never would.
But with the way things are now with no moderation?
There’s little chance legitimate and informed discourse will ever happen here.
That was my point.
I wonder why Frank never addressed it?
Thanks for this post, ANON. IT IS SPOT ON!
Agree anoymous @ 4:01 pm.
The dude tries to portray himself as a blog target resulting from his mostly mundane point of view.
Nope. People don’t like you because you’re unlikable.
He’s caustic and overbearing and repetitious. And so long-winded.
The thoughts he espouses aren’t original or threatening to anyone’s perception. Just tiresome and presented in an unhinged way
And he makes absolutely everything about himself. And that’s not what the majority of readers are interested in on Frank Report.
He’s an absolutely awful representative for the Nxivm loyalists. Sometimes you have to care enough about a cause to realize that maybe you aren’t tempermentally suited for the role of public facing ally.
Hear, hear very eloquent!
Stop being a little baby Alonzo.
Again my real name is David.
I don’t respond to trolls.
Does that mean you’ll stop talking to yourself?
Is that what Mich-smell Hatchette taught you in your cult meetings?
Michele H. and D. Brinks are both pariahs within the NXIVM diehard community. The two are too nuts for Nicki Clyne and the rest. It’s the primary reason ALANZO easily latched on to Michele and Brinks. Alanzo and Michele have been in communication since before last Thanksgiving. Isn’t that right Alanzo?
Suneel and Nicki find Alanzo as appealing as dog-doo on their shoes.
Yeah, you just cry like a little bitch to Frank to take their freedom of speech away like a good commie!
Why don’t we talk about your “hate” of the 1st Amendment?! While we’re at it, let’s also talk about how in the fucking world Frank got this fake reputation of “adamantly supporting free speech”! Because next to Big Tech, this guy is a fucking monster!
He fucking makes all of our comments be “approved” before he even publishes them! Then he has the audacity to run his mouth about George Orwell when he’s like a fucking character in one of Orwell’s books!
Now you want him to be worse?! Seriously what is wrong with you goddamn people?! You all need a good slap to face to wake the fuck up!
It was a joke.
You are relentless!
Anonymous people post cravenfully, cowardfully, snivelfully, cruelly and dipshitfully, unless they don’t, in which case they post bravefully and intelligentfully because they have a good reason to remain anonymous. Typically the later is related to their “standing in the community” and unwillingfullyness to receive “shit from all the crazies on this site.”
Viva Ring Dings®!!!!!
But Alanzo doesn’t use his real name when he comments. He hides behind Alanzo here & on other social media.
He spends a lot of time attacking people he doesn’t agree with instead of posting his facts, beliefs, or making a comment about the subject.
He has been blocked on social media for being a troll. He knows nothing about NXIVN from personal experience.
He seems an angry man
Are you actually going to be honest when you write a hit piece about Patriot God or not?! I hate Patriot God and I’ve dealt with him much longer than you have and even I know that’s not what happened!
Patriot God’s account of the story is correct, even though he spins it all in the end with all of his classical racism! But to be fair he wasn’t even talking to you at first and was being racist against Michele Hatchette and talking shit about her and that’s when you came in!
Again, you also lie on here about the free speech stuff! Both sides of this are wrong! Slandering people isn’t going to help this situation! Only free speech and people intelligent enough to debate, while having enough integrity to accurately represent their opponent, in the process will help! How are you this stupid to not acknowledge that!
Good God, I’m not a violent person, but you’re so stubbornly stupid that even I just want to beat the shit out of you sometimes, Frank!
I honestly don’t even know how you even function in life because you’re so mentally incompetent?! How do you even put your clothes or do anything else is a great mystery to me?!
I’m really thinking about this leaving this website! Frank Parlato is just God-forsakenly stupid! I don’t how you’re going to reason with somebody who just shuts all over himself and rolls around in it arrogantly thinking he’s some kind of artistic literature genius!
I really see Frank’s mind is deteriorating and he is getting slower and slower!
He can’t post anymore good shit about NXVIM he just recycles shit and lies and then continues to do lying hit pieces like this and even when I try to privately discuss shit with him, he doesn’t even want to read it!
This guy is stupid beyond repair and never stops becoming more and more stupid daily and censoring everybody and this website is pretty much shot to hell now! I don’t k ow how this is even going to be fixed unless Frank drops dead of a heart attack or something and somebody else more intellectually competent than him takes over!
As sad as it is to say that’s honestly what needs to happen and I pray to God it happens soon! I’m truly convinced Frank is a worthless human being and his time is up and he doesn’t deserve to live anymore! There’s no reasoning with this stubborn dumb beast of a person! His life only serves to be constantly unnecessarily obnoxious to people and put ridiculous and pointless obstacles in their way!
This guy is a stupid reckless jackass and just needs to fucking retire!
“I just want to beat the shit out of you sometimes, Frank!”
Nothing like a vailed threat to get what you want — pussy.
The Snarling Dipshit Troll, “Nice Guy” wrote:
VAILED: take off or lower (one’s hat or crown) as a token of respect or submission.
VEILED: expressed in an indirect way; not openly declared or expressed.
I called Lisa Remi to make sure those definitions were correct, “Nice Guy”.
Can’t want to see your Ph.D. dissertation on “The Withering Twitter Attack on Susan Dones”.
Aren’t you done with it yet?
Does Frank accept a submission of orange construction paper with Crayola scrawlings and slobber on it?
Imagine an individual who fell for a cult and stayed in for most of his life lecturing others on their intelligence and life choices…
I was in Scientology for 16 years.
I’m 61 now.
When I got out, I immediately warned the world about what I knew on the Internet in the late 90’s. Scientology followed me, got me fired from my job, tried to destroy my family, sued a client of mine to destroy my income and a lot more. I knew they would. I was trained in their policies when I left.
Once I got high enough in the organization to see what was hidden from me, I was presented with a moral choice – shut up or tell the world?
I got out and exposed them, knowing what they would try to do to me.
I was terrified. I did it anyway.
So what religion did you fall for, Anon?
The virgin birth story? Were you diddled by any Catholic priests?
Or have you swallowed the whole “the natural world is made up solely of the material world” reductive materialist religion?
And you believe these are accurate representations of the Real World Out There?
You obviously possess the truth, Anon.
Judge us and tell us what is acceptable to believe.
Damllen, you failed as a 1) marketing consultant, 2) $cientology intelligence operative/victim-recruiter and 3) psuedo-philosophical blogger.
However, you have a great eye for spelling detail!
Maybe you could make a living as a freelance copy editor?!
Post your profile and rate here: https://www.fiverr.com/categories/writing-translation/proofreading-editing/copy-editing-services
Viva Executive Success®!!!!!
Viva Ring Dings®!!!!!
Nice Guy Certified® Comedy Double Platinum Award Winner 🪙🪙
I was in Scientology for 16 years. I’m 61 now.
I say to Alonzo:
You went to a Star Trek convention and stayed for 16 years. Stupid is what stupid does. Did you, at the very least, get laid?
I finally have something complimentary to say, you look good for 61. You look like an un-dead Unabomber.
Even more reason to move on with your life and live in peace. Instead, you latch onto KR and the DOS dead-enders, spouting their nonsense as well as ridiculing anyone who doesn’t agree with you.
I believe you when you say Scientologists came after you. Guess what? Attacking victims and those who lost their livelihood to NXIVM is the EXACTLY what was being done to you. See the irony? It’s no longer about speaking out against Scientology. It’s about your ego. You did this with ex-Scientologists in those forums and it got you banned and now you are doing it on here and Twitter.
Perhaps you need to re-evaluate your reasons for being on FR. Seriously. Learn from your mistakes in the past before you get caught up in another cult.
Alanzo…..the “Frozen” theme comes to mind when you post your drivel.
Let it go…..let it go…..
Allen, just because you swallowed the lure, does not mean the rest of the world does or ever did. You are such a “leveler”.
“One of the more subtle but nonetheless highly effective responsibility-avoidance and manipulation tactics is “leveling.” Leveling refers to the disturbed character’s attempt to put himself on equal standing with others of different character.”
“He(Scott Johnson) even comment on a typo, calling the commenter a moron or stupid.” -Frank
Alonzo, you’re the new Scott Johnson, except Scott was purely an asshole. You, on the other hand, are [redacted].
P.S. Washout your tube sock from this weekend, before the plaster hardens; otherwise, you’ll need a chisel to get it clean.
BTW: I have to give you props on the paper and crayons rip.
If I had any doubt that Alanzo is a troll, this just removed it. Seriously? picking on someone on a forum for spelling??? That is Troll 101.
“Does Frank accept a submission of orange construction paper with Crayola scrawlings and slobber on it?”
You kidding me?! A “submission of orange construction paper with Crayola scrawlings and slobber on it” is pretty much Frank and his staff’s brains described in a nutshell!
Dude, you have no clue how many times I’ve tried to politely reason with Frank and how many times Frank treated me like shit for it! I didn’t “threaten”! I said “sometimes I *WANT TO*”! A threat would be “Frank, you have 1 week to stop censoring everybody or I’m *GOING TO* beat the shit out of you”! That’s a threat, moron!
Then you’ll call me a “pussy” when you’re too big of a “pussy” to get your facts straight?! Give me a break “Nice Guy”!
I’m giving to just assume your moniker is just supposed to deliberately be an oxymoron because from what I’ve seen, you’re never a “nice guy”! You’re always a dick and a dick for no reason!
How about you mind your business and know when people aren’t talking to you! “Pussy”!
I’m sorry! Seriously, you are right!
I am truly sorry. I took what you said the wrong way.
The ex-Scientologist only criticizes the anonymous commenters with whom he disagrees.
If you comment anonymously and he agrees, then you will not be called a coward.
What exactly is hate?
To a dictator telling the truth can be hate.
Is the Babylon Bee hate?
Nation Prepares to Celebrate 2nd Anniversary of Two Weeks to Flatten the Curve
The Babylon Bee 7 hours ago 209 6
Source: The Babylon Bee
The nation is preparing to celebrate what has become a beloved annual holiday: Two Weeks To Slow The Spread Day, to be held in March every year.
“This time of year we like to come together to remember the historic day two years ago when we put on masks and locked ourselves down, trusting that the lockdown would be over in just two weeks,” said local man Paul Christof as he stared out his window longingly, his three masks securely in place. “This year, I’m going all out with a Zoom party with no more than five of my closest friends—I mean, closest, figuratively speaking, of course. We’ll be literally far apart, because I want to stay home and stay safe, and I don’t want grandma to die.”
Traditional festivities for the newly christened American holiday include remote Amazon gift exchanges, ordering DoorDash feasts for just yourself, and the customary binging of the Netflix. Historians believe the holiday will become a hit, and people will continue to wear masks and stay home throughout the year as the festive day is celebrated for hundreds of years to come.
Trump Promises That If Reelected He Will Turn Fauci Into A Piñata And Let Every American Take One Whack
MAR-A-LAGO, FL—In a speech this week, Trump hinted strongly that he will run for reelection in 2024. He then ginned up excitement for his potential campaign by promising that if re-elected, he will turn Fauci into a piñata and let every American take one good whack at it.
“Dr. Fauci! What a beauty that guy is huh? You all don’t like him, do you? No, I didn’t think so! Fauci—not the brightest. Some might even say he’s a loser idiot. Some are saying that,” said Trump as the crowd cheered with delight. “We’re gonna turn him into a piñata! A big, beautiful piñata. Then every American will get to take a nice big swing at it with a stick! How do you like that?”
The thousands of supporters in the crowd then stood to their feet and roared their approval.
Pollsters reported that support for a second Trump term increased 322% in the hours after Trump’s promise to let everyone beat up a paper mache likeness of Dr. Fauci with sticks. Trump then followed that up with a promise to put Mitt Romney in a giant county-fair dunk tank and let every American get three throws.
Bless you Shadowstate1958,
Our blessed Führer would be so proud of you for paraphrasing him…
“To a dictator telling the truth can be hate.”
You, and you alone bring the beautiful message, of dictatorship and draconian glory, from Trump. Hopefully, second time is a charm, and we can overthrow the government of the United States!
Will you be posting an homage to the Führer on April 30, the date of his glorious?
When you said, “NiceGuy searches for
Troll as licking porn on PornHub”….
I really meant it when I said, “Good zinger, I’m laughing my ass off.” Seriously! I still laugh when I think about. 😉
Please keep them coming!
Oh one last thing….
You missed an awesome concert. There should be something up on YouTube today. So you can still see the show. Toodeloo!
At leasr there is one COB worth listenng to – and I don’t mean Miscavige! BTW, it was funny when Reckless Ben infiltrated Scientology…
Yes, that was a good one.
But an even better one was in 2007/2008 when a member of Anonymous smeared himself in Vaseline, pubic hair and toenails, and then infiltrated the New York chapter of the Church of Scientology.
It was truly an epic troll, as they say.
By the way, Ginzo!
I posted up a reply to what you said to me about Jussie Smollett on the article called,
“Unseen Photos of $10K/Week Mexican Villa & Video of Raniere’s Arrest”
Which is a lie because you’ve shown all of that shit to us before! The lies never stop with you do they?!
They also have videos with other proof of what is going on is this country by these animals! You have neglected to post that comment up and I’ve been waiting for days for your reply!
So why don’t you practice what you preach on this article for once and “try being diplomatic” by having the common decency to post up that comment! If you don’t, let it be known that once again, this article contradicts your true actions!
Follow your own words, Ginzo and do the right thing!
Did you know Alanzo is a communist and hates America?
Not a valuable comment.. it lacks evidence.
I find it telling you chose this benign “anon” post to be the one you respond to.
I had many to choose from. This one at least asserted a supposed fact.
“Son of Liberty I am beginning to suspect that Patriot God is actually a liberal troll who wants to show how stupid racists are.”
You’re dead wrong, Ginzo! This really demonstrates your lack of grip on reality! I STAND BY EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE EVER SAID! You’re the one who always flip flops!
Why don’t you ask my arch nemesis, “I Hate To Be That Guy” who has followed me around for years trying to get to convert to his marxist and blasphemous multi-culturalist worldview! Why is this so hard for you niggers to understand?! You niggers can read now (at least somewhat)! SO PICK UP THE FUCKING WRITINGS OF THE FOUNDING FATHERS AND FUCKING READ WHAT THEY BELIEVED!!!!!!!!!
This little comment I really find telling of your mental stability!
“But I do think him calling me Ginzo is quite clever.”
Now let’s compare that to what you wrote on your little hit piece on me four days ago!
“He responded by calling me “ginzo” and “nigger.” I was depressed. I had hoped for something subtle and clever in repartee, but the best he came up with was Frank Niggerlato.”
Though I’m *NOT* trying to be “clever” and I can’t even begin to tell you how big of a stupid game that is because I’m just calling you what you are and just calling a spade a spade (and yes that’s a double entendre because the term “spade” is also used for niggers), I do find it incredibly fascinating from a niggerological perspective how you genetically inferior mind and thoughts are so quick to shamelessly contradict itself!
You first said is was “clever” many months ago, then you posted a hit piece on me saying it wasn’t to the point that you claimed to be “depressed”, now you say that it is!
This would be a terrific example of your instability in a lawsuit as well as the perfect demonstration of why guido niggers are not fit to be operating media outlets in this country and being journalists!
This right here is *THE PERFECT EXAMPLE* of why the founding fathers *ONLY* wanted white anglo-saxons to be journalists and operate in media because the other races are too genetically unevolved and underdeveloped to handle it, let alone actually fucking MANAGE it!
You guido greaseballs can barely even manage the grease in your own fucking hair! Now you want to manage a media website?! You’ve lost your goddamn mind! You need to get your head out of your ass and stop trying to greedily lick up whatever is left of the cannolis you shoved up there and come back to the real world, Ginzo!
This right here will stop when we get our media back!
✊🏻 IF WE BELIEVE!!!!!! ✊🏻
✊🏻 THERE’S A BETTER WAY!!!!!!! ✊🏻
Ginzo is good. Guido is better. Greaseball I like. WOP is OK. Garlic Eater, only fair. Dago is good. But Guido Nigger is the best of all. Thanks.
“Ginzo is good. Guido is better. Greaseball I like. WOP is OK. Garlic Eater, only fair. Dago is good. But Guido Nigger is the best of all. Thanks.”
That’s literally only what you could take from my comment?! Wow! Good God this marinara nigger is an idiot! 🙄 We just got to get Ginzo out of this Country! His inferior guido genes are too far gone! 😒
Hey Ginzo! Why don’t you actually make yourself useful and post up my comments that you didn’t post up on the article called,
“Unseen Photos of $10K/Week Mexican Villa & Video of Raniere’s Arrest”
You only published 19 comments on there and there’s much more than that! Stop taking people’s freedom of speech, you treacherous commie!
✊🏻 IF WE BELIEVE!!!!!! ✊🏻
✊🏻 THERE’S A BETTER WAY!!!!!!! ✊🏻
I KNOW that +BOTH* Frank *AND* Alanzo are communist sympathizers! Both of them are not real patriots! They are frauds!
I have “asserted facts” over and over and Frank doesn’t reply to them because he’s too scared to debate me!
We both joke around a ton my brother. BUT we’re also two men who’ve gazed into the abys, and stormed the gates of hell and heaven. The Devil and God don’t want us, we’re the irreverent bastards, born and baptized in fire, true warriors of Valhalla! Ours is a simple life, to do or die. Pity the communists who cross are path! Pity the evil who roam the earth! We’re the vanquishers, the vindicators, and usurpers! We are the undying fire rising like the Phoenix of old! The meek will inherit the earth we shall hand it to them, once we rid this world of communist tyranny! I ask you brother, DO YOU HEED the CALL to BATTLE and ARMS? Will you make the sacrifice and fight the good fight? Then come with me and we will blaze a path to Glory and we’ll light the sky on fire!!!!!
The hands of the righteous will be made strong by the all mighty! It’s time take the trash out. The end of evil draconian commies is at hand!
“Even though I walk through the [sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort and console me.”
(Psalms 23:4 AMP)
“I’ve come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum and I’m all out of bubble gum.”
-Rowdy ‘Rowdy’ Piper
Joke is time is over! Time to kick-ass!
I think of the brave people of Ukraine [Slava Ukraine!] and your comment sounds like the lamest joke on earth.
You must be a recipient of that platinum comedy sash Nice Guy keeps awarding himself.
To: The Last Son of Liberty
I like you! I sincerely do! Your beautiful speech has given me a mental orgasm! 😵💫🥴🥰☺️😌
However, there are a couple of bones I would like to pick out of this delicious meat!
For one where you said,
“I ask you brother, DO YOU HEED the CALL to BATTLE and ARMS? Will you make the sacrifice and fight the good fight?”
“HEED the CALL to BATTLE”?! I *LEAD* THE CALL TO BATTLE! I AM THE FIGHT!
YOU JOIN ME AND THE REST OF THE PATRIOTS TO FIGHT AGAINST THE EVIL GINZO AND HIS CRONIES AND PUNISH THE PAPER-“AMERICAN” GUIDO FOR HIS RAPAGE OF OUR 1ST AMENDMENT RIGHTS!!!!!!
The second thing is though we will fight the commies and we will win, don’t forget all of the Jews and other niggers!
In order to be a true patriot, you just agree that this Country SOLEY BELONGS TO THE ANGLO-SAXONS ONLY! Nobody else according to the will of our founding fathers!
Everybody else are assholes who broke into our house and are demanding rights to our home that they don’t have while the eat our food and drinks and consume our money and resources and fuck our women, much like the suitors in Homer’s “The Odyssey“! And what happened to those wicked suitors when Odysseus came back home?!
This is our story and you must be in line with it! Let me ask YOU are a question! Are you a companion with Odysseus OR are you like Ginzo and other idiots on here who are companions of the suitors???!!!
Answer me that!
✊🏻 IF WE BELIEVE!!!!!! ✊🏻
✊🏻 THERE’S A BETTER WAY!!!!!!! ✊🏻
Son of Liberty I am beginning to suspect that Patriot God is actually a liberal troll who wants to show how stupid racists are. But I do think him calling me Ginzo is quite clever.
Frank, like always, you spell it out perfectly.
You act like Allen is some innocent child being bullied. He has done some horrible things in the name of Scientology, and he has no remorse. Instead, he’s now following the DOS-dead enders and harassing victims in the name of NXIVM. If you want to support him falling into another cult be my guest.
….where are my fellow trolls? they’ve all gone silent for they, as well as I, are too cowardly to print our name…to paraphrase Beyonce: “if you comment, then you should put a name on it”…in true troll nature, I won’t practice what I preach. So there! Long live the cowards!
Yes, but his very own KR Claviger remains anonymous as well…..with Frank’s blessing?
Of course, with his blessing! Hypocrites Anonymous should be the name of this blog. So fitting!!
Btw Alanzo, Frank’s blog is heavily moderated. Now what?
Wise words, Frank!
Allen wasn’t entirely off the mark when he claimed that “Nice Guy” is a struggling singer-songwriter. He got the singer part right!!!!!
The reality is that “Nice Guy” is the persona adopted by Luciano Pavarotti to comment on NXIVM here at the Frank Report. He became concerned when Nicki Clyne tried to recruit his then 10-year-old granddaughter, María Cristina Craciun.
Virtually everyone thinks Luciano died back in 2007, but that was staged. He rarely performs, but I was lucky enough to catch a very private show in the Cayman Islands he played with Jimi Hendrix, Biggie Smalls, Tupac, Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain. It was an eclectic set list, to put it mildly.
“Nice Guy” pretends to be Irish to throw internet sleuths like Allen off the track. Obviously, he’s Italian.
Viva Executive Success®!!!!!
Viva Ring Dings®!!!!!
The Frank Report is one of the last places on the Internet that isn’t a fucking “safe space”. For which I applaud Frank.
Net Nannies have stifled the rough and tumble, colorful, contentious, profane, hilarious, unrestricted spirit of the early Internet. And you know what? Despite the proliferation of inevitably biased and power-drunk petty dictators who ‘moderate’ speech on the Net, the discussions haven’t gotten any more respectful and they sure as hell haven’t gotten any more interesting.
Somebody call you a nasty name online? Ridicule your comment, call you ignorant, or a fat greasy slob? Well boo fucking hoo. Walk it off, bucko.
Why would I care what some rando online thinks about me?
If I post something stupid (and I post plenty of stupid stuff), the way to take me down a notch is to point out the flaw in my argument. Calling me names just proves you’ve got nothin’.
As for posting under a pen name, it pleases me to do so, and my real name is nobody’s goddam business.
The is the best post I have ever read on this blog.. EVER!
We all know your real name is Actaeon.
“Like this fool Patriot God who, in response to calling me names, I told him I was a psychiatrist and had diagnosed him with an acute epileptoid manifestation of the pan phobic melancholiac with paranoid delusory affectation. I urged him to take his medications.”
Once again, your dementia is showing! You started pretending you were a psychiatrist when I was talking about Michele Hatchette! I wasn’t even talking about you at all! Why don’t you go back and read those comments from a while back and see for yourself?! At least you admit you’re a fraudulent psychiatrist much like you’re fraudulent journalist who could be sued for this!
“He responded by calling me “ginzo” and “nigger.” I was depressed. I had hoped for something subtle and clever in repartee, but the best he came up with was Frank Niggerlato.”
I have ALWAYS referred to you as “Ginzo” and yes I acknowledged you’re a “nigger”! Every colored folk is a nigger! Whether they be a taco nigger (Mexican), a curry nigger (Indian), a sand nigger (an Arab), or a Tsinker nigger (Thais) I ALWAYS REFER TO THEM FOR WHAT THEY ARE!
In regards to being “subtle and clever in repartee”, speak for yourself, Ginzo! You’re the one who has to act like little child and play “doctor”, and hide all of my comments while you hypocritically claim to “adamantly support free speech”! I’VE DESTROYED YOU EACH AND EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU DARED OPEN YOUR MOUTH AGAINST ME! And not by just calling you “Ginzo” or “nigger”! That’s another lie that I could easily sue you for! I go over each and every single one of your points and pull them apart much like I’m doing here! Most of the time, you don’t even post my comments and I think it’s because you’re too scared to show how badly you got your head handed to you! You just say they’re “too lengthy” and don’t post them because I’m meticulous and you’re not!
So you just don’t post them and then make up bullshit like this! You don’t care about other people who would feel otherwise and who have CONSTANTLY BEGGED YOU TO POST ALL OF MY COMMENTS UP INCLUDING ALL THE ONES ON PREVIOUS ARTICLES THAT YOU NEVER DID, DESPITE SAYING THAT YOU WOULD AND LYING!
The Colonel has handed your head to you too as well as Patriot God Fan and many other patriots! Even my arch nemesis, “I Hate To Be That Guy” the little snowflake panzy who always cries about how “evil” I am all because I actually give damn about what the founding fathers wanted for this country (unlike you and almost everybody else) and always follows me around the internet trying to make me covert to his unconstitutional egalitarian multi-culturalist bullshit has even called you out on this! You can’t make this shit up!
Second of all I’m not here to be “subtle”“clever” or a “troll”! I’m here to persuade a so-called “journalist” to discuss real problems in this country and that’s the Jewish deep state and the different kinds niggers they’ve put into this country and all of their degeneracy that they’re using and through Hollywood, media, and music, as part of their tikkun olam strategy to destroy this country and sell it out!
I’m here to save this country and not say deceptive bullshit for attention and then go back on my word like you do, Ginzo!
“I learned my lesson. Never expect clever repartee from a troll.”
No you haven’t learned [your] lesson”, Ginzo! The fact you make up all of this bullshit about me and publish it shows you haven’t learned anything!
This entire article is stupid and a lie! Frank Parlato *DOES* “moderate” his blog to the point that his staff that his cheapskate guido ass doesn’t pay a salary to has to go through each comment to “approve” them like the Orwellian horror story that he by hypocritically decries half of the time he doesn’t post up people’s comments even when they don’t say anything bad because they can’t keep up with it all!
Many people (myself included) have spent countless hours combined on our comments only to have them not published by all of the unconstitutional worthless pieces of fucking shit running this shit hole of a website! Frank has been called out on this probably THOUSANDS OF TIMES OVER THE YEARS and he doesn’t give a shit! Not to mention all of the people who have begged Frank to stop censoring me for months and told him how much they love me and love my comments! He just keeps doing it and won’t change his outdated and glitchy commenting board for nothing despite how many readers have begged him to do otherwise and Frank just continues to shit on the vote his readers in a country where the vote of the people is sacrosanct and he continues to lie everybody by pretending to “adamantly support it”!
This whole article is a false dichotomy! You’ve got the little unconstitutional bitch Alanzo crying to Frank to rape patriots of their constitutional rights and then you’ve got Frank Niggerlato hypocritically telling him to “try being diplomatic” and basically
just deal with by getting some thicker skin, while Frank constantly censors me and other people even though he promised that he wouldn’t do that anymore (which I have his previous comment in the past as proof) and then kept doing it anyways and lied!
Then Ginzo, the dementia-ridden low IQ imbecile, makes up a whole bunch of shit about me in a false hit piece against me and then has the audacity to call me a “fool”!
You’re both clusterfucks of a train of thought and both of you are unconstitutional pieces of fucking shit who have ZERO RESPECT for this country and it’s constitution!
When both of you mentally retarded jackasses acknowledge that and actually read and understand what the founding fathers wanted for this country and implement it, then you will have taken the essential steps to have actually “learned [your] lesson[s]”
P.S. Nice picture of me, asshole! Even though that *IS NOT AT ALL* what I look like! I hate to disappoint you, but I’m not anywhere near being Jewish! But we know what YOU look like, Ginzo! And with your looks, I wouldn’t be talking so high, mighty, and proud of what you look like!
✊🏻 IF WE BELIEVE!!!!!! ✊🏻
✊🏻 THERE’S A BETTER WAY!!!!!!! ✊🏻
Wow! This attempted hit piece by Ginzo against the great Patriot God is just a flat out lie! This is a whole new low level for Ginzo!
Once again, Patriot God destroyed your words, Ginzo! I’m surprised you had enough balls to actually let him post this time! Real cute how you claim this,
“But there is no harm in being diplomatic, in practicing noblesse oblige.”
Meanwhile you don’t practice what you preach and constantly continue to censor people and lie about them just like you did about Patriot God!
Look even after you wrote this lie that could get you sued, you hide like a little bitch when Patriot God calls you out! He rebutted you line by line, even though you claim that he doesn’t (even though he always does and you just don’t publish it) and you’re too big of dumb pussy to respond and give an account about why you lied!
Let it be known, Ginzo that you have been outsmarted on your own website and slanderous and lying hit piece! Then act like Alanzo is being the bitch (which he is) and that YOU’RE the one with all of the “diplomacy” when you’ve censored Patriot God again this fucking week and even openly boasted about censoring the Colonel on your previous article! All you do is lie to promote yourself and then hide, you fucking worthless carpet-bagger!
Let the readers see for themselves who tells the truth and who is the lair! You seriously need your ass kicked, Ginzo! You’re truly nothing more than a scared little punk! You’re just a pathetic deceitful guido in everything you do, aren’t you?!
We see you, Ginzo! Even when you hide! You will never escape the patriots! Justice will prevail!
I believed you were Bangkok. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have conversed with you. You’re more whacky than I am… 😉
I know who you are. I would never out anyone. You do like hunting games my “hunting people2” friendo.
Take it easy and please don’t shoot anyone!
Help, TexTex, save us from the idiots!
You know best who they are.
Scott, come back and comment!
I’m very curious about the identity of the woman you reference. Can you give us the screen name she used here? Most trolls run and hide back under the bridge rather than risk people irl see their true colors.
I’ve read your report for years and enjoy the articles but it’s the comment section that’s most fascinating.
Nutjob has always been one of my favorites. I like his humor but also appreciate his experience with the cult and Nice Guy has some panache.The back and forth between Scott and NG was often very entertaining.
Fiona is now officially my favorite.
I second the request for the commenters screen names. What could it hurt? Or were they just anons?
How awesome would that be?
That was my first thought
Sorry to disappoint you, but Frank already knew my name because I told him that myself. If he wanted to contact me, he could easily send me an email. He certainly wouldn’t need to use his “superior investigative powers” to track me down…he already had my contact info.
If Frank really wants to “expose” despicable people, I suggest he start with his pal, Roger Stone, who is currently spreading vile pro-Putin propaganda….
I’m a fan of you, Fiona!!!