By Shivani
Cannibals! The cannibals of Clifford Park were bested by the ancient Mexican culture. Only look who never got caught. Plus, look at what happened during Keith Raniere’s final Puerto Vallarta vacation. Was someone’s Big Papi sick of the pipsqueak? Were there a few phone calls made?
Speaking of cannibals though, how come both Lauren and Nancy sport haircuts so not sexy to their Pandora’s Cock of the Block?
We have heard that Raniere wanted the dingbat sex harem to have long hair, and Nancy and her daughter look as if they have severe cases of post-lobotomy bedhead. $70.00 bowl-cut, side-slung bobs, and even the hungriest fish would be terrified. Who in the hell would bite that? By crackie.
Lord have mercy. The only way that their hair could look any worse is if Toni Natalie happened to be their cosmetologist and snuck into their house in the middle of the night and shaved their heads. Toni Natalie, that is not intended as a suggestion, since no doubt you are a loyal Frank Report reader. This is just a vision.
Nancy had her eyes fixed speculatively on that bottle with her teeth out, in public in a great American Starbucks, as if she were ready for her blowjob. She looked like she was fixing to gnaw the head right off of the bottle.
So is that a photo of The Bottle which Nancy Salzman reportedly broke in the Starbucks, or was that bottle in her paws being recruited to be Nancy’s next victim? How many bottles did Nancy Salzman handle in our great American Starbucks?
No wonder she needs so much dental care, and now at last Nancy can have garlic chopped into her salami. Nancy Salzman, the dollar store Gloria Swanson of Executive succotash. Meanwhile, Lauren was typecast again, even at Starbucks, and she looked like a gremlin at a funeral. Her sense of couture is historic Salem witch trial attire, only with polyester fill.
Lauren is the first “woman” who waited so many years, through most of her fertility, to have a decisive NO baby with a manwhore. Lauren might win a Guinness World Record for that. This is nothing that I’ve ever heard of a woman doing to herself. Remembering that it was reported that all three Fernandez sisters had abortions after being impregnated by Raniere, did Lauren Salzman also have an abortion or more than one, while waiting to have her special baby?
If Lauren wanted to be funny, she could dress up next Halloween as a DOS turkey baster, but unfortunately, she might be in prison by Halloween. Not to give up on the idea, however udderly sad it is, maybe Lauren Salzman would consider wearing a turkey baster costume to court for her sentencing. She could also bring Kleenex to symbolize how furious she is about Keith Raniere and wear a little empty bassinet for a purse. That is if convicted felons are allowed to carry purses.
Happy, innocent women like I wouldn’t know any of these fucking details, such as about what to wear to one’s sentencing date. We just say “No” to dates like these, but maybe Frank Parlato has some ideas because he is a real investigative reporter. That is how come I’m here.
It’s so strange to have been drawn in and scammed by such a pathetic horndog & manipulator, this chunky-thighed little creep, Raniere, and his equally insane group of sycophants. This was a big troupe of self-important, repulsive and jealous dullards, all fanatically trying to conceal their catastrophic, porno soap opera sex lives. No doubt Raniere stunk all of the time, along with his undeodorized, huge-bushed wimmens. Volleybawl.
Photo of pathetic horndog & manipulator, chunky-thighed little creep below:
It just seems preposterous that people were willing to get involved, to spend so much money for classes from a shipload of paranoid psychobabbling, busyworking dimwits. Hopefully, people reading about Nxivm/DOS spread the word, so that more people learn the warning signs of groups and “group leaders” who really want power, money and influence the most.
These stories are like Twilight Zone nightmares, only Rod Serling zipped things up in less than half-an-hour, but real-life Lauren and Nancy Salzman kept inhaling this scuzzball crud for twenty-or-more years apiece.
Raniere was never cut out to be an L.A. guru. He would’ve been laughed right out of Malibu.
Bronfman money couldn’t have saved him on Sunset Strip, either. There is a guru in almost every alleyway in We-Ho and way too many competitive sex-traffickers. Raniere the Flabturd had to stay put in the Albany suburbs or his entire fuck schedule would have been spoiled. Raniere was a bumpkin, and it’s astonishing that the Bronfman sisters fell for Keith Raniere’s multi-ringed circus act. They really were the afterthought sisters.
Some people have commented that Allison Mack wasn’t with Raniere that long. Other women were with him so much longer. Well, Allison Mack was with him from what, 2006 to 2018 or so. That’s eleven or twelve years that Allison Mack spent getting deeper and deeper into this snake pit. To me, that’s a very long time for anyone to be so entrenched. The old battleax, Nancy Salzman, how did she rationalize Raniere’s other women to herself when she got sexually involved with him? She played at being loyal for decades. Was she dead to her feelings before she hooked up with Raniere?
Nancy Salzman, did she want her 2 daughters to have sex with Raniere, too? How cum she was so scummy? Was she detached from whatever he wanted to do, or what? Is it at all possible that, in some ways, Nancy Salzman thought of herself as Raniere’s “handler” and was totally aware of his act?
Could she have been taking advantage of Raniere’s sex addiction and thinking that she was (secretively) the one who was really in charge? How much money did she squirrel away? She just had to keep him occupied and play into his narcissism. She might have been playing Vanguard like a fiddle. Top of the heap, will she still try to radiate that pride when she gets her sentence? Has Nancy managed to arrange to get a slap on the wrist? She has had to be clever and must try not to be too jealous of the wealthier and so far, unimpeachable Mexican Nxivms. They don’t need her or want her anymore.
If Marianna Fernandez is playing her cards right, Mexico already has her avatar baby, and the whole Nxivm community should be coming every week, bearing gifts for little Horace, or whatever his name is. If only Quentin Tarantino was in the mood to make another movie about a cult of sexually possessed, degraded and obsessed zombie robot automatons. John Travolta, who is guaranteed to be incoherent, could star as Raniere, and Uma Thurman, all uglified up, could play Clare. Kris Jenner could simply appear as herself and be Nancy Salzman, and Kathy Bates could run the empty Apropos café.
Allison Mack and Lauren Salzman have to be so incredibly hideous that it will take many vain and hopeless auditions to cast them. Maybe Lady Gaga could do Allison. It would be fine to go ahead and use surrealistic wraiths, without dialogue, to portray Pam Cafritz, the two doctors and Jim Del Negro. There are some bigger stars in mind already for the parts of Alejandro Betancourt and Emiliano Salinas.
As you can understand, every man in Hollywood is dying to play Mussolini’s rich gay yet nonhomosexual lover. What a stretch.
Frank Parlato 
Janine Morrison 
J.J. O'Hara 
Richard Luthmann 
Marie White 
Paul Serran
Please leave a comment: Your opinion is important to us!
Let’s have an old fashioned NXIVM Sing- A-Long!
“Ninety-nine Bottles of Java on the Wall,
Ninety-nine Bottles of Java,
Nancy Salzman made one of the Bottles of Java Fall,
Ninety-eight Bottles of Java on the Wall.”
“It just seems preposterous that people were willing to get involved, to spend so much money for classes from a shipload of paranoid psychobabbling, busyworking dimwits.” Not when you realize these people were one thing in public and a very different thing in private.
“Hopefully people reading about Nxivm/DOS spread the word, so that more people learn the warning signs of groups and “groupleaders” who really want power, money and influence the most.” It would be far more productive to tell people about not only NXIVM/DOS, but Amway and other MLM scams as well.
Amway was noted and recognized as a scam way back in the early 1970s. How did anyone miss this? Maybe you were not born yet?
I’m not joking, because I have a direct, personal memory of succeeding in pulling a good friend out of it, after his first month of dumbass involvement with Amway, precisely in 1970.
I was alarmed for him and his wife and was lucky enough to be able to convince them that this Amway shit was acting as if it had to be one’s religion, and I found that to be beyond psycho. It was simply outright grotesque. I was nineteen and still not born yesterday and couldn’t stand seeing our friends fall for that obsessive scam bait. Anyhow, our friend got out after only one batshit “monthly meeting” and never looked back. That round of false idols was over and done. Phew.
But man, I had to plead that case like a born little bigmouth, to expose the dynamics enough to affect our friend’s critical thinking, to impel him to come out the other side. The Amway bait was not only bad to the bone; it was too much too soon, absolutely invasive.
There was never a doubt in my mind what I was seeing with Amway. I would be goddamned if selling soap was gonna act like a frigging religious obligation. HELL, no. The NERVE of these busybody monkeybrains, these Amway people. Run the fuck along while the rest of us go make dinner, sit down and relax. If I want to listen to pollywogs, I’ll go walk near a pond. Even Samuel Clemens mentioned that he found golf to be a way to spoil a good walk. Such is Amway, a way to ruin good soap. Why bother.
1970. Over and out. Amway was way, way out there, and that was a long, long time ago. Eject out of the time warp. How come some cannot move on and stop blabbing about their old Edsels? Amway is exceedingly boring and old-hat. It is not hip to be so square. Sexium/Nxivm/DOS is still interesting, in a twisted Sexus, Nexus, Plexus sort of way. I have never been all that bored by sex as a topic, but soapsuds?
Just drop by a Marshalls or Ross and buy beautiful, sexy, fragrant soap. K.I.S.S. Keep it simple, stupid. Or as Nancy Sinatra said so very wisely, “yeah.” Even my elementary school grandsons enjoy fine European soaps. That is not easy, to convince these preteen gentlemen to bathe. But, ahhhhhh. I just want to thank France, England, Italy and Spain for all of their help. Yeah.
Okay, sometimes soapsuds can be fun or even sexy, but never Amway. Why would anyone want to go and ruin a fine thing like soap? Screw them and their “exclusive odor technology.” This is as bad as a priest and nun teaching a course in eroticism. Not that you ever need to go stifle yourself or anything, Edith, Scott Johnson or even Meathead. Frank Parlato is a Capitano of phenomenal tolerance with a journalistic and also a humane respect for freedom of speech. Hallelujah for that. To me, that’s the only way to keep going is to keep an open forum, unless someone degenerates into expressing threats. Amway has been guilty of trying to turn soap into a slippery slope, almost as stinky as Keith Raniere and his widdle penis but not as interesting as a topic du jour.
People love to gossip about sex, the good, the bad and the ugly. But selling soap? Shaklee it off. Who discusses that?
“Hello, gorgeous. Let’s have a drink and talk about Amway soap.”
“Um, no thank you. Ask the flying nun over there.”
“Let’s have a drink and talk about sex.”
“Hmmmm. Maybe. It could happen.”
Amway was noted and recognized as a scam way back in the early 1970s. — Then why wasn’t it shut down?
How did anyone miss this? — Because you are just like Raniere, the only smart person in the room.
Maybe you were not born yet? — I was born, but what does that have to do with anything?
I’m not joking, because I have a direct, personal memory of succeeding in pulling a good friend out of it, after his first month of dumbass involvement with Amway, precisely in 1970. — How does helping one person equate to everybody on the planet knowing that Amway is a scam? Can you even describe WHY Amway is a scam?
I was alarmed for him and his wife and was lucky enough to be able to convince them that this Amway shit was acting as if it had to be one’s religion, and I found that to be beyond psycho. — I doubt you had much to go on besides your opinion.
It was simply outright grotesque. — Simply outright grotesque HOW?
I was nineteen and still not born yesterday and couldn’t stand seeing our friends fall for that obsessive scam bait. — Again, DESCRIBE why you felt Amway was obsessive scam bait. You are long on lots of adjectives and adverbs and very short on facts.
Anyhow, our friend got out after only one batshit “monthly meeting” and never looked back. — Good for them, but one couple quitting didn’t help the other 10s of millions that have joined Amway and other MLM scams ever since.
That round of false idols was over and done. Phew. — That is false, they just said NEXT and scammed many other people.
But man, I had to plead that case like a born little bigmouth, to expose the dynamics enough to affect our friend’s critical thinking, to impel him to come out the other side. — Except you didn’t plead your case here, just another round of adjectives and adverbs with very little in terms of facts.
The Amway bait was not only bad to the bone; it was too much too soon, absolutely invasive. — More adjectives and adverbs and little to no facts. HOW is Amway “bad to the bone,” WHY was it “too much too soon,” and “absolutely invasive?”
There was never a doubt in my mind what I was seeing with Amway. I would be goddamned if selling soap was gonna act like a frigging religious obligation. — I don’t know what pitch you saw in 1970 (or if you’re making up the entire story), but today it does not include the idea of “selling soap” as a “relligious obligation.”
HELL, no. The NERVE of these busybody monkeybrains, these Amway people. — See above.
Run the fuck along while the rest of us go make dinner, sit down and relax. — You realize that’s a losing strategy, assuming you want to shut down Amway and other scams, right? They don’t care if you reject them, they just move on to someone else.
If I want to listen to pollywogs, I’ll go walk near a pond. — Thanks for more meaningless adjectives and adverbs.
Even Samuel Clemens mentioned that he found golf to be a way to spoil a good walk. — And walking, golf, and Amway have WHAT do to with each other?
Such is Amway, a way to ruin good soap. Why bother. — The question isn’t whether Amway has good soap, the question is HOW and WHY Amway and other MLMs are scams.
1970. Over and out. Amway was way, way out there, and that was a long, long time ago. — Yes it was, and you didn’t do anything about it, except talk a couple that you knew out of it.
Eject out of the time warp. How come some cannot move on and stop blabbing about their old Edsels? — How come some cannot see that Amway and other MLM scams are not old Edsels, but current scams?
Amway is exceedingly boring and old-hat. It is not hip to be so square. — Amway may be boring and old-hat to you, but it isn’t to the people who are joining all the time. You know, the people you don’t give a flying f*ck about?
Sexium/Nxivm/DOS is still interesting, in a twisted Sexus, Nexus, Plexus sort of way. — NXIVM is boring and old-hat, whereas Amway and other MLM scams are still scamming millions of new people every single year.
I have never been all that bored by sex as a topic, but soapsuds? — The topic isn’t sex or soapsuds, it’s MLM scams. NXIVM is mostly shut down, Amway and other MLM scams are not.
Just drop by a Marshalls or Ross and buy beautiful, sexy, fragrant soap. — Again, you miss the point. Amway is not about selling soap, it’s about convincing people that they are a legitimate business.
K.I.S.S. Keep it simple, stupid. Or as Nancy Sinatra said so very wisely, “yeah.” — I say “yeah” to your entire comment. LOL
Even my elementary school grandsons enjoy fine European soaps. — You missed the point. Again. Sigh.
That is not easy, to convince these preteen gentlemen to bathe. But, ahhhhhh. I just want to thank France, England, Italy and Spain for all of their help. Yeah. — More meaningless drivel. LOL
Okay, sometimes soapsuds can be fun or even sexy, but never Amway. — Ditto.
Why would anyone want to go and ruin a fine thing like soap? — Ditto.
Screw them and their “exclusive odor technology.” — Ditto.
This is as bad as a priest and nun teaching a course in eroticism. — Ditto.
Not that you ever need to go stifle yourself or anything, Edith, Scott Johnson or even Meathead. — Ditto.
Frank Parlato is a Capitano of phenomenal tolerance with a journalistic and also a humane respect for freedom of speech. — Ditto.
Hallelujah for that. — Ditto.
To me, that’s the only way to keep going is to keep an open forum, unless someone degenerates into expressing threats. — To me, you are clueless.
Amway has been guilty of trying to turn soap into a slippery slope, almost as stinky as Keith Raniere and his widdle penis but not as interesting as a topic du jour. — You are guilty of being clueless.
People love to gossip about sex, the good, the bad and the ugly. But selling soap? — You’re missing the point again.
Shaklee it off. Who discusses that? — Anybody who is interested in helping others not get scammed.
“Hello, gorgeous. Let’s have a drink and talk about Amway soap.” — Another clueless comment.
“Um, no thank you. Ask the flying nun over there.” — Amway and other MLM scams would promote themselves to flying monkeys if they had money.
“Let’s have a drink and talk about sex.” — Thank you for consistently missing the point.
“Hmmmm. Maybe. It could happen.” — Maybe you will get a clue. Maybe not. LOL
OMFG!!!! Give it a rest!!!!
I’ll give it a rest when Amway and other MLM scams are shut down or I take my last breath, whichever comes first.
“Could Toni Natalie help improve the appearances of Lauren and Nancy?” Yes, by standing next to them.
Ooh, Scott! 😂🤣😂
Thanks!
I have to admit I chuckled at that
Thanks, I’m really quite funny once you get to know me. I have posted many humorous comments on this website.
Scott,
LMAO
Finally, you said something funny this week. 😉
I say something funny all of the time, it’s just that most of them go over your head. LOL
They float over our head like soap bubbles.
Something like that, if that helps your comprehension of the concept.