The joke is on Rafael Acevedo

While it is clear that Rafael Acevdeo is a creep, [or as he calls himself a “piece of shit”], he is also known as the clown prince of Culiacan.

The townsfolk love to make fun of him. Many a joke of how he must be a cuckold and that his wife must have presented herself repeatedly to Keith Raniere [or otherwise how did she sport a cattle brand on her vagina with Keith’s initials?] are making the rounds.

Why the good people of Culiacan find this so hysterically funny I cannot say, but people in Culiacan laugh at the darndest things. Here are a few of the local jokes going the rounds.


Rafael Acevedo helps his daddy run his pig farms and since Keith Raniere has come down to Mexico, he has been awful proud. But his wife was even more proud.

So how did Rafael actually find out is wife was sleeping with Keith?

She started bathing twice a week.


Rafael was talking to some Society of Cuckold Protectors and Rafael said, “You know, I’m about ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different!

“Last year, I took Vanguard’s advice about where to go. So I went to Colorado and my wife got pregnant.”

“So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?” asked one of his SOP friends.

“This year I’m taking my wife with me.”


Rafael and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.

“You aren’t so good in bed either!”, Rafael shouted and stormed off to the pigpen to slop the hogs.

By mid morning, he decided he’d better make amends with his wife and went home. It took her a long time to answer the door

“What took you so long to answer?”

“I was in bed.”

“What were you doing in bed this late?”

“Getting a second opinion from Vanguard!”


Rafael and his wife are in the shower together when the doorbell rings. The wife puts on a robe and goes down to answer the door.

In walks her husband’s leader, Vanguard. The woman tells Vanguard that her husband’s in the shower and asks if he can come back later. Instead, Vanguard steps in and quietly says, “I have $400 in my pocket. I’ll give it to you if you’ll open your bathrobe for me.”

She’s offended, but because her husband is in Executive Success Programs, they are always broke and since they really need the money, she agrees, opens her robe, and lets Vanguard have an ogle before doing it up again. Vanguard gives her the $400, and she opens the door for him to leave, but he says, “I have another $400 in my other pocket. I’ll give it to you if you let me fondle your breasts and other private parts.”

Now she’s really mortified, but again, she needs the money, so she undoes her robe and lets him have a copious feel. Taking the other $400 from him, she lets him out the door.

Going back upstairs, she gets back in the shower with her husband, feeling a little bit guilty.

“Who was that?” Rafael asks.

“Oh, that was Vanguard” the wife answers.

“Vanguard?” Rafael says. “He was coming over to bring me the $800 he owes me for commissions!”

His wife said,” he really is the world’s smartest man.”



Rafael, his wife and a DOS slave were meeting for lunch.

Rafael noticed that the DOS slave was smiling [which they rarely do when they are not posing for photographs] and he asked her what was so pleasing to her.

The DOS slave replied, “Oh nothing. It’s just that when Vanguard gives me cunnilingus, I feel like its a sexual tuneup.”

Rafael’s wife chimed in, “I know, I know. That’s so true.”

About the author

Frank Parlato

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5 years ago

Rafa eso te pasa por negarte a abrir los ojos…no seas pinchi culo y suelta esa chichi de ESP… hay verdadera libertad del otro lado.. es neta bato!!

Young Stupid.
Young Stupid.
5 years ago

I think it is an outrageous insult to joke about the men of Socisry of Protectors. They are not cuckolds in the traditional sense of where the wife cheats on them or thinks of them as inordinately inadequate. The Socoety Of Protectors has voluntarily decided to subordinate those brains to the much smarter Vanguard. Hence they must do as Vanguard thinks and says. If he wants their wife branded or wants to have sex with them the SOP men have to not only submit their wives to him but must further believe it is in their best interest to do so. That’s not true cuckoldry. It’s true brainwashing.

5 years ago

Frank, you shouldn’t joke about Keith reproducing. It’s really not funny to think that his genes may be passed on to future generations. Actually, it’s scary to think that any of these SOP (or was POS?) members could reproduce and pass on their sociopathic and low IQ genes.
Let’s hope this bullshit is not hereditary.

5 years ago

Vanguard is a very bad mechanic, so are his ‘sexual tuneups’

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” Parlato was also credited in the Starz docuseries "Seduced" for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Additionally, Parlato’s coverage of the group OneTaste, starting in 2018, helped spark an FBI investigation, which led to indictments of two of its leaders in 2023.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premiered on May 22, 2022. Most recently, he consulted and appeared on Tubi's "Branded and Brainwashed: Inside NXIVM," which aired January, 2023.

IMDb — Frank Parlato

Contact Frank with tips or for help.
Phone / Text: (305) 783-7083


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