Barbara Bouchey launches website to help people overcome adversity with grace

A new website in the offing, created by Barbara Bouchey.

She has a section, still under construction, that may be the heart of the website, called

Avenues for Healing.”

She writes, “In this section, I will be sharing some of the many resources for healing that I have discovered in my journey. Please come back and check this section soon.”


 Barbara Bouchey


She has a contact section and appears ready to offer advice on how to get out of the NXIVM cult.

Her story is interesting.  Here it is in her own words:

Barbara was raised in low-income housing in South Troy, NY. Her father was an alcoholic. Her mother died when she was eight. Barbara had three brothers; two were developmentally challenged.  Barbara had to care for her brothers after her mother died. She worked odd jobs for the family’s basic needs.

After graduating high school, she became a secretary by day and a waitress in the evenings. By age 25 she embarked on a career as a financial planner– while waitressing at night. She soon became a Certified Financial Planner and Registered Investment Advisor and started her own firm.

By age 40, Barbara was managing $90 million, with annual gross revenues exceeding $1 million. She sat on the board of the Saratoga Springs Hospital, the March of Dimes, Family Tree Adoption Agency, and the NYS Estate Planning Board.

In 2000, she began taking NXIVM courses. NXIVM was founded by Keith Raniere who encouraged Barbara to stop taking new clients and devote her time to building NXIVM.  He told her she was meant to be his life partner. He had visions of them having a child who would be an avatar.  Keith claimed he was the smartest man in the world.

He wanted to build a more noble civilization.  Barbara had about $1.5 million saved. He figured, he said, how to make money through mathematical calculations by investing in the commodities market. She loaned him her life savings. He lost the entire sum.

Barbara continued to build NXIVM. She was a top field trainer and reportedly made over $100K a year in commissions. She made the rank of Green Sash and earned money for managing the Bronfman’s trust fund.

After she found out Keith was having sex with students and high ranking teachers at NXIVM, she refused to continue her intimate relationship with him. His other women told her she should continue because, as he was in love with her, he might die if she did not remain intimate with him.  She refused and attempted to get Keith to use his talents to help others without lying and cheating. He refused.

She resigned and asked Keith to pay back the money he borrowed. He claimed it was a gift.  She felt an obligation to explain to those she recruited why she was leaving NXIVM. Keith and Sara and Clare Bronfman demanded her silence. When she refused, they sued her, spending an estimated $6 million in legal fees to silence and destroy her.

The Certified Financial Planning Ethics Board investigated Barbara, based on Bronfmans’ complaint. An eight person Tribunal dismissed the case

She was haled into court in 13 lawsuits, as a witness or defendant. She appeared before 10 Judges in 4 states. Barbara retained seven law firms, incurring $700,000 in legal expenses. She lost her clients and over $8 million in potential earnings while being consumed by this incessant litigation.

After she ran out of money, she was forced to act as her own attorney. In this clutch of circumstances, she faced the juggernaut of Bronfman attorneys from seven law firms in four different cases alone. 

The menace of Bronfman-Raniere however produced no judgement or ruling against her. Bronfman-Raniere lost every case, but, in their bludgeoning process, they bankrupted her. She filed for temporary relief under Chapter 11. Even that was opposed by Raniere-Bronfman.
Yet the litigation backfired on Raniere-Bronfman. Many private matters concerning the sordid lifestyle and financial improprieties of Raniere became public. Exposes about NXIVM emerged that blew the lid off their secretive practices and exposed Keith as a perv. Vanity Fair, New York Observer, Forbes, The Nation, Albany Times Union, NY Post, Religion News, MacLeans, Jewish Press and other media outlets reported on Raniere and his financiers, Clare and Sara Bronfman.

Barbara also uncovered evidence of criminal activity. She went to the authorities. She was ignored.

But wealthy Clare Bronfman was able to file criminal charges. NXIVM’s attorneys influenced a New York State Trooper to arrest, handcuff, and arraign Barbara for a single login to NXIVM’s password protected social members website.  She was arrested on Christmas Eve. She refused every plea offer and the charges were dismisssed after the special prosecutor learned Clare Bronfman likely committed perjury about the location of the server.   

NXIVM also tried to get Barbara arrested for extortion, by lying to authorities about the $1.6 million Keith owed Barbara. Her demand that he return the money he borrowed was misstated as an extortion demand.

At 57, Barbara’s long legal battle seems to be over. She rebuilt her business, and paid all her legal fees though it took years.  She has been compared to Erin Brockavich, Leah Remini and Lois Gibbs.


                                                    Visit her website:




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[…] Barbara Bouchey, another girlfriend designated to have an avatar child, was, in her past life, Mr. Raniere said, Reinhard Heydrich. […]


[…] long history is replete with examples of defrauded victims, such as Bouchey who lost her life-savings on a loan to Raniere, who, rather than return the money, initiated years of lawsuits against […]

Maybe it's Keith or Clare
Maybe it's Keith or Clare
5 years ago

I just happen to be done with family events for the day and was catching up on the blog. I don’t get to do it often.

I’m not sure who’s blasting Susan here but it seems like it’s out of left field. Why the anger & what’s your agenda for blasting her on the blog? How do you know it’s her doing what your accessing her of and why not take it to her personally if you feel likes it’s her? Really why do you care at all?

Enough with the ex-member bashing. Why not be the change you want to see in the world? We should not have to come on the blog and defend ourselves or beat ourselves up.

It could be Keith or Clare doing this carp for all we know to take the heat off of themselves.

5 years ago

Not out of left field at all. Someone under Let the Truth Prevail copied and pasted susans article of blaming and lambasting Barbara for another members post right on the bottom of this feed.She should be held accountable for doing that to others,I think. Brought it on herself. I believe they all should be honest and supportive of other victims.This is not helping anyone except maybe Keith.

5 years ago

Is there some reason why Susan Dones is attaching her comments to several different posts under new headings? Bingo ! Using the blog to further an agenda…and it’s not to bring Kieth down. Just a Hypothesis

Blame Game
Blame Game
5 years ago
Reply to  anonymous

Sorry blame throwers, I’m not the one doing this but you seem to have your own agenda by continuing to accuse me of having one.

Those that know me, know I have no issues with signing a post. You will have to find someone else to blame and can we move on to something else or are is anonymous just going to continue to blast me every time a negative post about Barbara shows up on the blog?

5 years ago

Boy Susan ,you are so busy spreading your negative bull…no..the anonymous poster is not Barbara ..nor did she put me up to it. Your need to use this blog for your to further your agenda to harm and demonize her is getting old ..and frankly, disturbing.

5 years ago

Bouchey’s view of Raniere, NXIVM, described in article
November 24, 2017 Media reports published [November, 23, 2017] How a Secret Society That Brands Women Sold Empowerment. Writer Sarah Berman interviewed cult experts Steve Hassan and Rick Ross and ex-Nxivm members, Sarah Edmondson and Barbara Bouchey.

I found Ms. Bouchey’s comments particularly interesting.

Barbara Bouchey offers her views on Keith Raniere and NXIVM in recent article.


Taken from the article:


According to Bouchey, [NXIVM] participants often report profound and life-changing experiences.

“Keith developed a questioning technique that lets you peel back layers to get to where a negative pattern came from, why it’s controlling you,” she told VICE.


Bouchey agrees there are certain words Nxivm shares with Scientology, like “parasites” and “surppressives.” But having observed behind the scenes for many years, Bouchey says Raniere has developed much of his own material—thousands of hours of it, in fact—and that she still recalls taking some good away from it.

For example, Bouchey said she was personally prone to anxiety around being late for appointments. She claimed her training with Keith helped her get to the bottom of what that meant about herself and other people. “I worked on that, had some ‘ahas’ and was able to get rid of that pattern,” she said.


Bouchey cautions against hypnotic explanations. In our interview she asked me straight: did I think [Sarah] Edmondson sounded hypnotized? I honestly didn’t think so. Reports of “brainwashing” and starvation diets have certainly grabbed tabloid headlines, but don’t tell the whole story, she said. “I don’t think she was on a 500 calorie diet, I don’t think she thought she was hypnotized—other people used those words.”

Bouchey is also an NLP practitioner, something she learned to better understand the psychology of her financial planning clients. She claimed it’s far less insidious than it sounds. Simply rephrasing a sentence so that the listener feels they have a choice falls under the banner of NLP, according to her.

Bouchey compared the indoctrination that happens [In NXIVM to, as an example] when parents teach their kids whether it’s better to buy a house with cash or with a loan. There’s good reasons to do both—leverage money vs. avoid debt—but being swayed from one side to another is a rearranging of values.
Bouchey says followers like Edmondson looked up to Keith as they would an author of an uplifting spiritual book, like Herman Hesse and his classic self-discovery novel Siddhartha.

“She’s had 13 years of admiring and respecting these people, she’s read it so many times she loves the book,” Bouchey told VICE. “You don’t expect that in Mr. Herman Hesse’s inner circle they have hidden chapters of the book, and they’re using it against you—you can’t imagine it in a million years.”

NXIVM discredits its critics the way a family might discredit an estranged parent, according to Bouchey. It encourages people like Edmondson to cut off communication, and trust first-hand experience. When people express skepticism, some leaders start bringing in more tough-love tactics—suggesting if you don’t join or commit, there may be business or personal opportunities you’ll miss.


Bouchey calls this the “hidden chapters” of the Nxivm story, where women are asked to submit nudes as a proof or pledge that they won’t leave or tell anyone about the group. According to her, the leaders have earned so much trust they can actually cause harm without risk of losing the follower. “You start to think, I on’t like this chapter, that doesn’t belong in the book,” she said.

According to Bouchey, there is likely a negative propaganda campaign in full swing smearing those who have left, likely using some of the personal issues they may have revealed in the class. She knows first-hand that Raniere supporters quickly wrote her off as sociopathic, unfeeling, even developmentally delayed.
Bouchey left Nxivm nine years ago, and has since spent hundreds of thousands of dollars defending herself in court.

*** previously published Why I joined a secret society that branded me by Sarah Edmondson [as told to Sara Berman] on Nov. 2, 2017.

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You Tube video: Rick Ross to Dr. Oz — Raniere’s ‘blame shifting’
Sources: Mexican actress Veronica Jaspeado leaves NXIVM!
November 26, 2017 at 9:09 am
If you want to better understand Barabar’s Media Coach, Christine Marie Katas, take a look down this rabbit hole:

November 24, 2017 at 11:15 pm
What Confuses me is why is Bouchey defending Raniere and the NXIVM Cult?

She appears to be an individual who claims to provide “value-free,” or “neutral,” information about NXIVM other than a few kind of nice things to say about them.

She never acknowledged the sociological, legal, moral and/or theological problems with NXIVM

It was like she was saying NXIVM is misunderstood – but legitimate. It only seem weird because people don’t know enough about them and that individuals misrepresent the beliefs and practices.

What’s next, will she be saying that claims are coming mostly from disgruntled former members with an ax to grind.

It appears that Bouchey has attempted to create a credibility gap between herself and cult experts or is making herself out to be the “self-proclaimed ‘cult experts’.”

It appears that most dangerous thing here is that we can trust Bouchey can be trusted to tell the truth.

It appears from what others are saying she might not have done enough exit counseling to heal her wounds from being as deep within the cult for as long as she was.

November 25, 2017 at 9:35 am
That’s nonsense. I didn’t get that at all. I think she sounded like a non-biased expert on the other side of all this, and she clearly was not portrayed to be defending them. She simply explained what the value was. This is a sensitive thing to do as it provides former members dignity. It also reduces victim blaming. Your comment seems like you have an underlying malignant agenda to discredit a highly credible ex-member.

November 25, 2017 at 10:34 am
A lot of people felt they were victimized by Barbara Bouchey while she was in NXIVM. Her comments in VICE seem to open old wounds for many judging by the number of people coming forward about her on this blog. To dismiss people’s feelings is irresponsible and victim blaming.

November 25, 2017 at 7:58 pm
I can’t remember whether you’re her “Media Coach” or her “Publicist”. She has bragged about having both.

Either way, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

November 26, 2017 at 4:36 am
Christine Marie, it’s clear your Bouchey’s media coach and get paid to try make her look good. You opinion is noted but since you were not a part of NXIVM your opinion holds no weight and your defense of her is meaningless since your have a paid agenda.

Personally, and in a lot of opinions stated here, you got it WRONG when coaching her for the story. It didn’t make her look non-biased, it made her look like she was still drinking kool-aid and attached to Raniere in an unhealthy way.

She did victim blame, she blamed everyone who has spoken out about their experience
regarding being in NXIVM as wrong and she is right. In my opinion she didn’t come off as highly credible person nor do you as a media coach or PR person or whatever you do.

Sarah on the other hand was spot on with her story and has been consistent from day one. She is the true hero of the story and the one that is highly credible ex-member. She owns her true story take a strong stand against NXIVM.

Bouchey stand is wimpy and a slap in the face. Bouchey journey was different with different wounds. Sarah shared her wounds, Bouchey made it look like, someone called it day camp. You might consider real media coaching school.

November 24, 2017 at 11:11 pm
I think Barb Bouchey isn’t yet healed from Raniere. She still believes he’s good. She wants to be the special one in all of this. Like she knows best. But she might not recognize that the new generation of NEXITERS are smarter than she appears to be. They can see that she is probably using them for publicity.

November 24, 2017 at 10:56 pm
Wherever there’s this kind of money and debauchery allied with power people eventually start being killed for various reasons. I predict this is the path everyone involved is heading down.

November 24, 2017 at 5:39 pm
Bouchey admits to being an NLP practitioner and a board member of NXIVM. The only people who make it to the board of NXIVM are those that are will to do NXIVM deeds for them. At the time Bouchey was on the board, all other board members were women who were also sleeping with Raniere other than Nancy Salzman.

Did Bouchey learn NLP from Nancy Salzman? Did she use here NLP skills in NXIVM to sway students into doing things that would benefit the cult? Take classes they really couldn’t afford because of the value it would give them, trust Raniere as he was the noblest, honest, ethical man in the world? Remember this is the man who lost 1.2 million dollars of her money in the commodities market and never paid her back. Now she defends him.

Many who have left have stated that the inner leadership of NXIVM was the “cult” of NXIVM, the brainwashes, the mind-benders. (NLP is one of the tools used for mind-bending) Bouchey defends NLP and makes it out to be totally harmless.

Give her a break, Bouchey went on the record defending her position while in NXIVM and her relationship personally and professionally with Raniere to boost her public persona now that Bouchey is outside of the cult?

It’s complex, and one has to question why. Has she even started the healing process need to recover once someone as deep as Bouchey was within the cult of NXIVM was to realized how dangerous, NXIVM and Raniere really are, or is she still blinded by her love for her Master?

Is she coming to the press in defense of NXIVM and her ex-love Raniere in hopes that it will stop the litigation machine she claims she has been a victim too for so many years?

Either way, she sounds like she is traumatizing those that left NXIVM by standing up and defending the very evil she participated in and then left.

I hope Sarah Edmondson recovers from being run over by the bus Bouchey drove over her several times in the article.

November 24, 2017 at 5:37 pm
Long before Bouchey left NXIVM, one of her staff spilled the beans about how much she was earning from managing the Bronfman’s money. Apparently, she ended up earning a lot more than she lost covering Raniere’s crappy commodities investments. But, for some reason, she never mentions anything about that. Wonder why that is.

November 24, 2017 at 5:56 pm
Every rich person that came to NXIVM was filtered over to Barbara Bouchey Assess Management firm.

The Bronfman’s were the icing on her cake. She made millions on everyone who had money who walked through the door that “they” could convince to move their money to her.

This way she could give some back to the “mission” ie Keith her boy toy. Bouchey was the Queen of NXIVM for many years, Keith’s #1

Than came Ivy Nevares, way more pretty and Raniere sexual apatite for her was strong and knock Bouchey off his #1 platform sexually.

When the Bronfman’s came, Raniere no longer needed her money and Bouchey was no longer the Queen. this was the start of her downfall in the cult. Bouchey was no longer #1 and she started to decompose and started to become an emotional wreck.

When Bouchey left, she lost at least 50% of her company within a week. All active NXIVM member moved their money out of her firm. The Bronfman’s was a huge financial hit. She went from a large office with a huge staff to working out of her home with one staff member.

November 24, 2017 at 7:21 pm
Bouchey was a top field trainer for NXIVM for about 9 years. She was merciless. Getting people to charge up their credit cards and in debt into oblivion. She easily made over $100K a year in commissions for a long, long time with NXIVM. On top of that she charged 5% annually for all the money she managed at her firm which included the $100 million plus she managed for the Bronfman’s. That does not include all the other rich NXIAN clients who had money with her. If she was an honest and caring person the first thing she would have done when she left NXIVM was refund her commissions to her victims. Did she do that? Uh, no.

Did she call all those victims and say “I am sorry for enrolling or participating in this with you, here is your thousands of dollars that I earned off of pressuring you to take yet another training?” Uh, no. What does that tell you about her? A LOT.

November 25, 2017 at 9:43 am
Wow, I am in shock at how bitter you are. Why don’t you use your real name? Is it because you yourself have written all these comments under different names? This victim bashing is appalling and will not help your cause. If you cannot acknowledge that Barbara Bouchey was unduly victimized by NXIVM, you are absolutely out of touch with reality.

November 25, 2017 at 8:01 pm
Speaking of honesty, why didn’t you mention that you are Bouchey’s “Media Coach” or her “Publicist”? And, by the way, you’re doing a hell of a job in helping the world understand what a self-serving bitch Barbra is.

November 24, 2017 at 7:37 pm
Bouchey made huge money off NXIVM and was the Queen Bee of the harem. Hard to imagine how far she has psychologically dissembled to think these stories would fly. We watched you up Keith’s ass Bouchey and not caring about his harem as long as you were #1. Are you kidding? If you want to help the Expians be honest. As for all the good things in the training it is evil from the first module on. If you can’t see that I feel pity for you, you must be in a pretty dark place.

November 24, 2017 at 5:32 pm
Bouchey now claims to have had a “normal” relationship with Keith Rainere’s as his girlfriend.
While he is having sex with other women and Bouchey was still married.
In the eyes of “normal people,” this does not seem like a normal boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

It begs for an answer, was Bouchey lied to like all the other women to get her to have a “sexual relationship with Raniere” like other women were or did she agree to an open relationship since she was still married to another man while having sex with Raniere?

Since she doesn’t think Raniere (and others) uses hypnosis and NLP to mind-bend their members than she must not of been abused while in NXIVM.

I guess NXIVM. the Bronfman’s, Salzman’s and Raniere can now rest assure that Bouchey will never be involved in any kind of law suit claiming any damages of abuse from Bouchey since all she saw was good in them.

November 25, 2017 at 10:07 am
Use your real names. I have never seen anything like this. I will gladly stand up for Barbara Bouchey because I have come to get to know her very, very, very well. She would never intentionally allow another person to be hurt. She truly cares about people and is perhaps the most honest person I know. Too honest, perhaps. The Internet world lets people hide in anonymity and feel empowered by the “online disinhibition effect” where they can lie, be cruel, bully, troll and harass without consequence. Studies show that trolls are more likely to have personality traits from “the dark triad.” I respect and honor Barbara, a truly inspiring person, for telling the truth as she witnessed it. My heart goes out to her for having to put up with additional persecution from trolls here. Let’s all be kind and caring and forgiving and supportive.

Love is the answer, always.

Christine Marie (Katas)

November 25, 2017 at 8:03 pm
How much did you charge Bouchey to write this crap? Or did she just write it and have you post it like you’ve done so often on this site?

November 26, 2017 at 5:01 am
Christine Marie, People don’t use their real names on this blog as it’s read by NXIVM. I’m not going to use my name either so get over yourself. Why isn’t Bouchey on here defending herself? Is she pulling a Keith and being to noble to do so?

If Bouchey doesn’t like whats written here she doesn’t have to read it nor do you. It’s pretty clear that some people need or want to vent.

You want to make it out that it’s just one person doing the writing. If that makes you and Bouchey feel better, OK. She was in a long time, in the inner inner circle and in my opinion was not the nicest person. She rubbed a lot of people the wrong way and was high and mighty most the time.

It was either shut up and do as your told or if you tried to stand your ground when you disagreed you were in for verbal manipulation from her NLP skills. Personally, I tried to stand my ground and got punished from her a lot for it while in NXIVM. I couldn’t do anything about it than as she was too powerful with her boyfriend being Keith. I got fed up with it and left long before she did.

If I’ve blown off some steam here on the blog over some pent up angry, well it just what it is. It’s been therapeutic of me to do so. If it’s hurt her feelings, it’s just karma coming right back at her. If she can’t handle it, tell her to stay off this page or any page that has to do with her. I can’t promise I won’t do it again.

Have I written every post? Hell no, I’m not that angry. I have enjoyed reading every post. Your a bit irritating but you have to earn a pay check so keep writing as I love her to spend her money and I agree I think you two a perfect fit, you both morons.

November 24, 2017 at 4:47 pm
The author, Sarah Berman, was trying to understand and communicate to readers how people get recruited by cults, and stay in even when they begin to learn disturbing things.

The initial, entry-level, of Executive Success Programs really does teach some skills for dealing with yourself and others. Many people, particularly young adults, will find them genuinely beneficial. All that Barbara Bouchey is saying is that she found some of the training useful.

Later, Raniere asked her to help cover his $1.5 million margin-call in the commodities market, which she did. Raniere never paid her back, saying that it was a gift of “tribute” from her. When she left NXIVM, Raniere pursued her in court for many years, bankrupting her. She knows he’s a liar and a sex-addict and a sociopath.

But Raniere is a talented liar, and like many, Barbara didn’t figure things out for years.

November 24, 2017 at 4:53 pm
“Later, Raniere asked her to help cover his $1.5 million margin-call in the commodities market, which she did. Raniere never paid her back, saying that it was a gift of “tribute” from her.”

She should’ve kicked the wimp’s ass. Fucking liar.

November 24, 2017 at 5:31 pm
Bouchey’s kudos to Raniere’s “Rational Inquiry” bullshit are the equivalent of German soldiers stating that they learned how to be really good fighters in Hitler’s army. And let’s not forget that she was near the very top of this Ponzi scheme and making a lot of money off it. Sounds to me like she’s still got a lot of kool-aid in her.

November 24, 2017 at 5:44 pm
To Give Barbara Bouchey A Break: Do some research and find out what really happened in Bouchey’s bankruptcy. It’s certainly not the fairy tale that you’re trying to sell here.

November 24, 2017 at 6:06 pm
If memory serve me correctly , Bouchey bankruptcy was dismissed by the judge was she improperly applied for it. It’s a public recorded by she never went through bankruptcy, Like Records Checker says, might want to get your fact clear before posting. Too many of us know the truth and will bust all lies

November 24, 2017 at 7:52 pm
If Bouchey’s banrkruptcy was dismissed for fraud that would be scary. So she pretend files for bankruptcy to make it look like she was a victim when in reality she was a huge complicit perpetrator. Leader of the harem, leader of squeezing every lasts penny from people, profiteer of the brainwashed. If anyone knows why she really left please share. Another poster says it was because she was dethroned from #1 by Ivy Nevares.

November 24, 2017 at 6:01 pm
Really, you are going to go there? Sarah E did a pretty good job at explaining the same thing an never once defended Keith, the classes or NXIVM. The crack between the two sides of the story could not be more clear. You must either be Barbara, paid by Barbara or under her mind-binding NLP control.
Have some hot lemon water and do some detoxing please for your own sake.

November 24, 2017 at 2:21 pm

November 24, 2017 at 2:00 pm
Barbara, I think you may want to educate yourself further regarding hypnosis and brainwashing. If you haven’t received adequate help or education regarding the nature of these groups (and it sounds like you may have not) I would not take the role of commenting on other’s experience or generalizing the good that you got from the group. The man is a sociopath, and all the “thousands of hours of material” have been developed with one aim in mind – to destroy people’s lives and enslave them. Please take better precautions and educate yourself before playing expert.

November 24, 2017 at 12:42 pm
I’m confused, did Bouchey leave NXIVM or is she still involved?

November 24, 2017 at 1:13 pm
Anonymous, it sounds like she is selling for their next level 2. I’m with you Bouchey make NXIVM sound like summer camp.

November 24, 2017 at 11:12 am
High-control groups often genuinely have beneficial and helpful teachings/practices in the beginning. It’s the bait in the trap.
I don’t doubt people who say they initially got something good out of NXIUM. It’s important to know that this is part of how high-control groups keep people in even after red flags appear.

November 24, 2017 at 8:28 am
Although my first instinct was to blast Bouchey for being such a bubble-head in extolling the wonderfulness of being part of NXIVM, my years of working with returning war veterans has given me a different perspective on this sort of situation. Just like there are soldiers who come back from war so traumatized that they can no longer function in society, so too are there are NXIVM/ESP “veterans” who are so broken that they are incapable of returning to the lives they led before they got involved in the cult.

Bouchey is a prime example of the fact that some of those who were brainwashed by Keith and Nancy may never recover fully – and that, short of being institutionalized for a long period of time, they will quite likely remain in a delusional state. Maybe it’s the weakest people who end up that way – maybe it’s the ones who feel the most guilty for what they did while they were in the cult. But whatever it is, we have to recognize the deficiency – and deal with people like Bouchey accordingly.

November 24, 2017 at 5:24 pm
I think your on to something Mental Health Counselor,

Bouchey seems to be suffering from a laundry list of psychological problems when an ex-cult member leaves cults, and they do not get proper support from family and friends nor the psychological help in deprogramming needed to re-enter the “real world.”

In Albany Bouchey is known for having no family support when she left NXIVM. Bouchey had two brothers with special needs, and one brother had turned his back on Bouchey due to her involvement in the cult. Her father was a severe alcoholic who was out most nights, and when he was home, the children walked on eggshells who had passed away, and her mother died young.

Sad sorry as it is Rags to Riches kind of thing while beating her own drum.

Bouchey was a child from a dysfunctional family that had to have caused emotional scaring for her who then joins a cult ripe for the taking. It appears she has not started to detox from the kool-aid after eight years. Maybe she’s been too busy in and out of court defending herself.

November 24, 2017 at 7:48 am
“The universal appeals are improving yourself, becoming more effective as a communicator, more effective as a human being, having better relationships, and making the world a better place,” Steven Hassan of the research organization Freedom of Mind told VICE.


Too bad it makes you worse at it. It cuts you off from others and makes you selfish, less considerate, less compassionate, sympathetic, and empathetic, etc., and allows you to rationalize it via a “virtue of selfishness”.


5 years ago

Guest View: Mixed Message of Barbara Bouchey cause for concern and questions?
November 24, 2017 Readers Views
By Black Friday Bouchey;

Barbara Bouchey admits to being an NLP practitioner and a [former] board member of NXIVM. The only people who make it to the board of NXIVM are those that are will to do NXIVM deeds for them. At the time Bouchey was on the board, all other board members were women who were also sleeping with Raniere other than Nancy Salzman.

Did Bouchey learn NLP from Nancy Salzman? Did she use here NLP skills in NXIVM to sway students into doing things that would benefit the cult? Take classes they really couldn’t afford because of the value it would give them, trust Raniere as he was the noblest, honest, ethical man in the world? Remember this is the man who lost 1.2 million dollars of her money in the commodities market and never paid her back. Now she defends him.

Many who have left have stated that the inner leadership of NXIVM was the “cult” of NXIVM, the brainwashes, the mind-benders. (NLP is one of the tools used for mind-bending) Bouchey defends NLP and makes it out to be totally harmless.

Give her a break, Bouchey went on the record defending her position while in NXIVM and her relationship personally and professionally with Raniere to boost her public persona now that Bouchey is outside of the cult?

It’s complex, and one has to question why. Has she even started the healing process needed to recover once someone as deep as Bouchey was within the cult of NXIVM was to realize how dangerous, NXIVM and Raniere really are, or is she still blinded by her love for her Master?

Is she coming to the press in defense of NXIVM and her ex-lover, Raniere, in hopes that it will stop the litigation machine she claims she has been a victim of too for so many years?

Either way, she sounds like she is traumatizing those that left NXIVM by standing up and defending the very evil she participated in and then left.

I hope Sarah Edmondson recovers from being run over by the bus Bouchey drove over her several times in the article.

Barbara Bouchey ca. 2009. Keith Raniere once told her she was his great love, she said. As reported in Vice, her feelings about him seem to be mixed.

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November 26, 2017 at 12:04 am
WOW ! I am amazed by the nastiness that a few others who have left (obvious from certain details) are spewing.
My guess is that some of it is coming from Kristin Keefe…who did oversee and slaughter many for Kieth and the Bronfman brats in lawsuits(including trying to destroy Barbara) and has much to atone for…..casting dark shadows on others will not bring any light to her life. Her wounds and sickness are deep and she is a very disturbed, as she spent almost 27 years with the Vantard.

It is also disturbing to hear some others re-writing history to paint a better picture of their own involvement or claiming to have been hypnotized. Misled..lied to…coerced…yes, I saw and experienced all of these things in my many years…but was not hypnotized. It seems as if some people are now joining a band wagon of cult theorists who want to explain away peoples involvement by saying it is because of this. Why? Do we feel ashamed to have been duped ?? I don’t . Keith and his little inner circle/army were and are masters of deceit. Those who are still there need to be educated in whats happening that is bad and not given general terms like brainwashing and hypnosis.

Lastly, this is exactly what Keith wants..he loves to divide people and cause in-fighting. In the end…that half breed-sub-human piece of crap will probably escape all charges anyhow..word is he’s already left. the real world, it would be nice to not cut each other to pieces,but instead try to help each other recover and move on from the darkness this group was/is to us. Turning on each other is not helping anyone. It makes us sound and look like uneducated, bitter, depraved humans…that’s what Vantard wants too .

When I say us..I mean those who have left. Please pick yourselves up and re-gain your dignity and your life…that’s the only way to truly beat him. -Peace

November 26, 2017 at 9:03 am
Love the try at reverse psychology but since I was also trained by Keith and Nancy, I recognized it right away. And though I only speak for myself, I think that many of us who left NXIVM simply want Barbara to publicly admit her real role in the cult and apologize for the harm that she caused to so many others. She personally pressured me and several others to take more and more courses that eventually ended up costing us tens of thousands of dollars and earned her some nice commissions. And she constantly lied about Keith’s relationships with women and flatly denied being in one herself. She’s also completely forgotten how outspoken she was about the need to bring lawsuits against people that Keith declared were our enemies (Natale, Ross, OHara, etc.). And she’s left out important FACTS about her bankruptcy, NXIVM’s lawsuits against her, etc. As far as I’m concerned, Barbara is just following the lead of her media coaches and trying to position herself to be the only real expert on NXIVM and Keith. As usual, the only person that Barbara cares about is herself.

November 25, 2017 at 6:03 pm
Barbara, Barbara, Barbara
Liar liar pants on fire. You were in so deep. Lied in so many of NXIVM’s cases against their detractors, did their punishment and mind-bending.
Now you want to act pretentious like your the victim of countless lawsuits. It’s your karma isn’t it?
You were in how many of your own lawsuits with NXIVM & the B girls? Tell the truth. Wasn’t it only one really long lawsuit that just changed location from California to New York?
Wasn’t it you who ended the California case by filing falsely for bankruptcy? Once that was thrown out of court the cases just continued in New York. Let’s be honest Barbara, what’s wrong with the little full disclosure?
All the other lawsuits we’re other people’s that you were just deposed in or somehow voluntarily testify in. Let’s set this record straight so others really understand your legal battles weren’t just all NXIVM fighting you.

November 25, 2017 at 8:33 am
Raniere always likes to have one really cold, pompous bitch by his side. Before Clare took on that role, it was Bouchey and she filled the part very well.

All Bouchey cares about is herself. That’s was true BEFORE she was in NXIVM and WHILE she was in NXIVM and it’s still true NOW.

Bouchey’s original plan was to create another NXIVM-like organization with herself at the top. She even wanted to use some of Raniere’s modules in that new company.

Don’t buy into any of Bouchey’s bullshit in terms of finding good in evil. All she’s trying to do now is create a story that she can use to promote herself in the marketplace.

Note To Barbara: Stop trying to create some new persona that you think will make others think you’re a heroine. Instead, fire your publicist and your public relations firm and go get some therapy from a qualified person who can help you deal with the realities of who you are.

November 25, 2017 at 10:35 am
If Bouchey really is an abusive narcissist then she will always be an abusive narcissist. It’s not a “curable” condition, it’s a pattern of thinking and a belief system that is ingrained into a person.

I think the only question though, is if the authorities ever do launch an investigation, what evidence will they find to definitely link individuals to definite crimes.

Being an asshole, or a narcissist, or a bitch, are not crimes.Even lying is not a crime unless it’s done under oath.

What actual crimes have been committed and what laws have been broken? If investigators are going to press charges they are going to have to find the crime where they have the best chance of getting a conviction and where there is sufficient evidence to make an arrest.

Let’s hope law enforcement still has enough uncorrupted individuals, and they are working on it, and that they are waiting until they have enough evidence in place to act.

November 25, 2017 at 12:45 am
I spent years in NXIVM with Barb Bouchey. I found her to one of top cult leaders. She was abusive and if you didn’t agree with her there was hell to pay. She can’t see Raniere’s mind control because she does Raniere’s mind control.

She left when she fell from his grace (puke) and had a couple of years of one tantrum after another. She couldn’t leave alone, she had to drag others into her rebellion and use her mind control on them.

She finally left Albany with hardly anyone left talking to her. Even her brother stopped talking to her. She just one abusive bitch.

November 24, 2017 at 11:31 pm
I hope that Barbara finds her way to healing after all she has been through. I did not agree with what she said in the VISE article and it made me sick to my stomach.

At first I wanted to be angry at her but then I realized that she must be suffering so mentally from all those years of abuse with Keith and Nancy and doing the best to hold on to what little stability she has left.

Opening old wounds takes a strong sense of self and a strong support group which she must not have to be able to honestly look deep within at the truth of all that has happened so cognitive dissonance is her only coping tool.

How can I say punishing things about her while she is in such a fragile state of mind. I don’t want to be responsible for pushing her over the edge. I will pray for her everyday that she finds peace and truth within her heart and mind.

November 24, 2017 at 10:14 pm
If hypnosis,NLP, Psych-K, and other such tools are used as has been stated here and elsewhere, then this cult uses means to subconsciously target the mind. It is said that ~5-10% of the brain works consciously, while 90-95% works subconsciously, and it is the subconscious part of the mind/brain where these methods work. The subconscious part of your mind/brain is responsible for breathing, digestion, walking, driving, etc., i.e., patterns that we don’t consciously think about, and it is in this part where trauma and unconscious habits are stored, e.g., programmed patterns of behavior (both good and bad) keep impacting people without them being aware of it.

You can see it in people who left to several years after the fact. For example, as a former dedicated fan of Kristin Kreuk for years, I noticed her frequently using the language of NXIVM in interviews and conversation, words such as “growth”, “values”, and the like in ways that correspond to what people learn in these classes. Ideas like not getting married while you’re in your twenties but later in your mid thirties or never even doing so (but of course continuing to fuck around like the leader because sex is like playing the violin or a game of tennis) are unconsciously programmed into these individuals without them being aware. These are tools many licensed and regulated practitioners positively use, but of course NXIVM coaches and proctors aren’t such, and they can insidiously be used in ways that aren’t ethical.

So it isn’t surprising that Bouchey still is drinking a little bit of the kool-aid so to speak.

November 24, 2017 at 10:53 pm
Also the word ‘data’ is thrown about and misused a lot.


5 years ago

Susan Dones: Anonymous poster writes like Barbara Bouchey
December 21, 2017 The People involved

Susan Dones questions whether Barbara Bouchey [above] was the author of a recent post.

By Susan Dones

Whoever wrote the post: “One of the NXIVM 9: Our famous resignation letter has resurrected with new lies” should step forward and identify herself.

Of course, I suspect some of us already know. There are some of us who know Barbara Bouchey really well.

She is the one that writes with the ellipses (… in between words …) I have emails and texts that show this is her writing style. You state that Barbara will not post on the blog… some of us know that is a half truth.

There are us who know Barbara writes or tells other people things to write than has them post them for her or send to Frank on her behalf. So your not fooling us with “Barbara doesn’t post on the blog.” She just does the Raniere form of posting. She gets others to do it for her so she can have “clean hands”.

Barbara would easily recall who was sent letters and what they contained. I don’t even have that information. I don’t have the two different letters.

Barbara recalls the “massive loan”. It was her massive loan to Raniere and she asked other students to lend Raniere money that she personally signed for.

Barbara refers to Raniere by his first name, Keith, (he was her lover for years). I call him Raniere.

Clare Bronfman, in one of her lawsuits against Barbara, claimed that Barbara tried to extort money from her, showing the resignation letter to the board. BINGO! Barbara had to have a hand in writing this post.

NXIVM tried to claim extortion in my case, not Clare.

This post was from one of the nine people who left in 2009; the title and the content of the post are a give away. It wasn’t me, Susan Dones. I own my work on the blog.

I know most of the other women who left with me didn’t know Clare Bronfman very well.

I would hate to see the other seven women get dragged into a court case because Barbara (or whoever wrote this) doesn’t have the guts to speak for herself

If your going to write something that is so easy to pinpoint within a small group of people, own it, or you might harm everyone involved. That is the ethical thing to do.

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” Parlato was also credited in the Starz docuseries "Seduced" for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Additionally, Parlato’s coverage of the group OneTaste, starting in 2018, helped spark an FBI investigation, which led to indictments of two of its leaders in 2023.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premiered on May 22, 2022. Most recently, he consulted and appeared on Tubi's "Branded and Brainwashed: Inside NXIVM," which aired January, 2023.

IMDb — Frank Parlato

Contact Frank with tips or for help.
Phone / Text: (305) 783-7083


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