Guest View: Mentored by Raniere: I No Longer Care About Labels

Frank Report had a number of articles ready for publication on NXIVM and Keith Raniere but then he got himself arrested and convicted and sent away for 120 years, plus five years probation.

Since they are sitting in the draft folder, and there are still some sickos out there who still like to read about NXIVM and Raniere - mostly for their own perverse reasons, I thought I just might publish those I never got around to publishing.

I received an email with attachments from Sammy Duncan, Jr. We do not know Sammy Duncan Jr. We do not want to know Sammy Duncan Jr.

But ever since Monte Blu stopped corresponding, we chose to publish the following by Sammy Duncan, Jr.

It is in defense of Keith Raniere

By Sammy Duncan, Jr.

Before I took Executive Success courses, I was considered obnoxious. It bothered me a lot.

Keith Raniere's teachings helped me confront my issue.

I had a compulsion to disrupt people. Do things to distract others and felt unhappy when they chastised me.

When I was at an important meeting and a co-worker was talking - I would feign interest as I:

1. Put things in my mouth.

2. Drum on surfaces with fingers keeping a beat to punctuate the speaker's rhythm.

3. Tap a pencil on a desk to emphasize their points.

4. Continuously click a pen open and shut, as if I wanted to take notes, then changed my mind.

5. Clean my ears with my keys, and be absorbed with the wax on my keys.

6. Pretend to be in thought with my forefinger on my temple, and slowly lower it to my nose, then put it in a nostril and leave it there for minutes.

7. Pick food out of my teeth and lay it on the table close to the person sitting next to me.

8. Excuse myself in the middle of the speech and go to the restroom (if it was close by), leave the door slightly ajar, and slowly pour a bucket of water into the toilet to make people believe I was taking a remarkably long leak.

If it was a catered dinner, I would:

1. Put sugar in the salt shakers.

2. Mustard-Filled Doughnuts

3. Toothpaste-Filled Oreos: I was amazed at how many people eat more than one.

4. Wasabi Gum: A little wasabi can make a big difference. Unwrap and wrap neatly, or people will suspect.

5. Soy Sauce Cola: Tell people it is Oriental Cola.

6. Vegetable Candies: Put pickled vegetable pieces in candy wrappers. I sprinkle cinnamon on it to disguise the brine odor.

While they were at the party, I would slip out and put fake parking tickets on their cars.

Despite this good clean fun, I was unhappy because I got caught. Nobody thought it was funny.

I began to hate myself. Then I took Executive Success. Mr. Raniere's teaching showed me that I was a "prankster extraordinaire." If people react with anger, they are most likely "suppressives."

He taught me to enjoy it.

He taught me, "He who has the most joy wins."

I soon became a winner!

Here are notes from my first class:

1. Behavioral recalibration,

2. reaction transcendence,

3. transformative enlightenment,

4. reactive behavior elimination,

5. enlightened self-focus.

Mr. Raniere gave me the tools to make better decisions. I no longer care if I people think I am an asshole.

Mr. Raniere is the smartest man in the world. I wish they would let him out of prison.

He also taught me that just because someone is short doesn't mean they aren't brilliant.

For those of unusually dim comprehension, the above is parody and any resemblence to Sammy Duncan Jr or anyone else other than Keith Raniere is purely coincidental.