Introducing the Crank Report: The Frank Report’s AI-Powered Heckler

Every publication of consequence eventually attracts its own heckler. Frank Report has the Crank Report.

Readers may remember when we had a higher quality heckler, letsnotbefrank.com, which promised “Savage justice” with a lowercase “j.” Sadly, it vanished from the internet when its author, former NXIVM supporter Damon Brink, got tired of hating me and moved on with his life.

But letsnotbefrank.com at least had the decency to be written by a human being. The Crank Report is AI-generated and anonymous.

The CrankReport reads like a mirror of the Frank Report’s topics: Jerry Sandusky. James McGibney. NXIVM. OneTaste. ThatDaneshGuy.

Every article tags “Frank Parlato.” My name appears more often on the Crank Report than it does on the Frank Report.

The editorial position is simple: Whatever I report, the opposite is true.

I advocate for clemency for Nicole Daedone and Rachel Cherwitz in the OneTaste case, arguing that the prosecution criminalized teaching philosophy to consenting adults. The Crank Report frames this as a “paid betrayal of every victim of coercive control.”

I publish about TikTok creator Danesh Noshirvan’s harassment campaigns? The Crank Report calls Danesh a “whistleblower.”

Exhibit A: The AI Forgot to Take Off Its Name Tag

The Frank Report article, “The Fastest Railroading in Pennsylvania History,” documents the corrupt December 12, 2011 meeting at the Hilton Garden Inn in State College between biased Judge John Cleland, dishonest rosecutors Frank Fina and Joe McGettigan, and inept defense attorney Joseph Amendola — a meeting held with no court reporter, no transcript, no docket entry, and no notice to the defendant, Sandusky himself.

The Crank Report rebuttal article, “Parlato Is Pissing In The Wind, The Sandusky Pedo Case,” does not address the hotel meeting. It does not engage with a single factual claim in the Frank Report article.

Instead, it claims I am pushing for a “presidential pardon” for Sandusky, a claim that appears nowhere in my article. The CrankReport’s brilliant editors apparently are unaware that, as a state conviction, the President cannot pardon Jerry Sandusky. Only the Governor of Pennsylvania can do that.

But its AI author is not omniscient. How do I know it is AI?

The last line of the Sandusky article has the chatbot’s follow-up prompt.

It ends: “Would you like me to create a breakdown of the specific ‘crisis management’ fees or typical PR costs associated with campaigns like this to show how much money is likely being thrown away?”

Exhibit B: Citation Changed Its Own Words

Far more frivolous, if not altogether far more stupid, is the CrankReport’s answer to my article, “Semper Fi or Semper Fib?” wherein I expose James McGibney’s Navy-Marine Corps stolen valor claims including his falsities surrounding his Navy Marine Achievement Medal citation.

The real citation is a little different than the Pinocchio-esque McGibney has claimed.

I have a copy of the actual citation. He got one, but not for what he claims.

The citation credits McGibney with working through “last minute schedule changes” during bad weather at Quantico from January to February 1996 and commends him for “scheduling, logistics and classroom coordination.”

Yeah, there was some snow. McGibney did some shoveling, got a space heater, and the classes went on as scheduled. 

The Crank Report counters with The Smear Merchant: How Frank Parlato Creates ‘Stolen Valor’ Narratives Against James McGibney

And reports that

“McGibney’s actual service record includes a Navy-Marine Corps Achievement Medal, with a citation that flat-out states he provided “outstanding computer security support of 128 embassies throughout the world.” That’s not a detail you just forget, unless you want to shape a story.”

The link of course is not to the actual citation, but to McGibney’s website, Bullyville, wherein he claims he provided support for 128 embassies throughout the world.

There is one person who has a motive to rewrite the contents of James McGibney’s military citations. His name is James McGibney.

My article documents McGibney’s MOS as 0151 — administrative clerk. The Crank Report, however, produces unnamed “analysts familiar with military structure” who explain that “cybersecurity wasn’t its own MOS” in the early ’90s and that “technical work often fell under admin roles” to address how McGibney, the Marine corporal, could have been in charge of cybersecurity for more than half the US embassies in the world.

These analysts are not quoted by name because they do not exist. Neither does their claim. The Marine Corps had MOS fields for cybersecurity work throughout the 1990s: 02xx for intelligence, 26xx for signals, and 28xx for data systems. The Corps defined McGibney’s classification (MOS 0151) as preparing correspondence and managing leave authorizations. McGibney had a desk at the battalion headquarters that supported embassy security. Over time, proximity became his mythology. It is not unlike the janitor at NASA who says he walked on the moon.

The Crank Report is likely McGibney.

The Cowardice Parallel

Stolen valor – a man borrowing the courage of men who served in dangerous posts, handled classified operations, and put themselves at risk – is an act of cowardice. 

An anonymous attack website is cowardice.

I publish under my name. I get sued. I get threatened. The public can question you. They can make websites that attack you. Lawyers can depose you. Opposing counsel can cross-examine you. 

The Crank Report publishes under no name at all. There is no author. No editor. No publisher. The operator hides behind anonymity, like the stolen valor liar hides behind someone else’s service record.

How to Correct

The Crank Report promises that “accuracy is our priority” and pledges to correct any factual error “immediately.”

The entire site uses a black background, and except for the page with a form for readers to submit corrections, it uses white text. 

But the corrections page uses the black text against the black background , making the questions — “Which of our fact-checks are you referencing?” and “What specific fact do you believe is incorrect?” invisible unless you know to highlight the black space with your cursor.

You could not design a more perfect metaphor for the Crank Report if you tried. A website that publishes AI-generated falsehoods under no byline, cites sources that don’t exist, leaves the chatbot’s follow-up prompt in the published text, and then hides its corrections page in invisible ink.

Keep cranking.

Frank Parlato

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist, media strategist, publisher, and legal consultant.

Frank Parlato

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist, media strategist, publisher, and legal consultant.

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