Dr. James McGibney

Editor’s note. The following is fiction. The only thing that’s real is the texts between Dr. James McGibney of Bullyville and Danesh Noshirvan AKA @ThatDaneshGuy.

Besides his friend Danesh, Dr. McGibney also has a friend named Credible Intel, who appears to be his alter ego.

I also have an imaginary friend, Mr. Winston Velvet. He has written the following and asked me to publish it. While I cannot condone or endorse what Mr. Velvet has written, I have to make allowances for friendship, just like Dr. McGibney does for his rambunctious friend, Credible Intel.

By Winston G. Velvet

For two men who brand themselves as internet enforcers, their private messages paint a surprisingly tender portrait. Here are a few excerpts 

McGibney:
Credible Intel told me that he wants to feel your ass so be careful. #cocks.

Danesh:
#assNcocks. I’m excited.

McGibney:
LOL you are the very first person I followed on TikTok. You were my first, Danesh. You took my TikTok virginity

Danesh:
#COCKS. 

McGibney:
Love you. Did Credible try to touch you yet? 

Danesh:
I’m verified.

McGibney:
Yeeeeeees! Let’s have a verification orgy~ LOL.

Danesh:
Now we have to 69 — it’s tradition.

McGibney:
You’re fucking brilliant bro. Just stop trying to touch my penis. 

Danesh:
Never

McGibney:
I had someone email yesterday asking why I was friends with a bully. They were referring to you. Here was my response: ‘I consider Danesh much more than a friend. He’s going to be my lover one day.’ I haven’t received a response yet Lol.

Danesh:
Push bullies back — it’s the only thing they respond to. #cocks

McGibney:
They all respond to cocks.

McGibney:
I was finally able to use the word ‘cock’ in a post!!!!

Danesh:
Cocks 

McGibney:
Call me right meow if you can. … Also cocks— 

McGibney:
When you end up owning his plastic surgery business, can you put me down for a penis enhancement procedure?

Danesh:
You’re already at the legal limit, sir. 

McGibney:
You had me at head.

Danesh:
I love you. 

Credible genuinely saved my mental health.

McGibney:
He’s a good man — Credible, though, he is constantly hitting on me lol. 

Danesh:
With that money you’re collecting, I’ll be there with bells on. 

Balls — I’ll attach my balls for the evening.

McGibney:
I want bells 

Danesh:
You’ll get what you get… Meow?

McGibney:
Meow meow.

Danesh: 

#cocks man. I appreciate you.

***

To understand what exactly we were looking at here, I consulted Dr. Edwin H. Maxwell, MD, PhD, PsyD, ABPN, ABPP, LMFT, CCTP.

Winston: Dr. Maxwell, I’d like to get your professional perspective on the private messages between these two online tough guys, McGibney and Danesh Noshirvan.  

Dr. Edwin Maxwell: It appears to be an acute case of reciprocal sociopathic triangulation, manifesting through a homoeroticized patina. 

Winston: Are you saying they’re gay? 

Dr. Maxwell: Their lexicon is saturated with a compulsive, psychosexual symbolism. 

Winston: Where does Credible Intel – McGibney’s apparently gay alter ego come into play?

Dr. Maxwell: The “Credible Intel” is a projective pseudonymity. It allows the individual to articulate attractions without assuming ownership of them. It is psychic ventriloquism.

Winston: So. he’s using a sock puppet to say to Danesh, “I want to touch your ass.”  When they type “#cocks”… is there any chance they’re talking about roosters? 

Dr. Maxwell: A course of intensive psychodynamic psychotherapy could guide them toward a reconciliation of their self-concept with their latent dispositions.

Winston: Would that be more expensive than them just getting a hotel room, some vaseline, and not telling their wives?

Dr. Maxwell: A rigorous course of psychodynamic psychotherapy is indicated to deconstruct their shared persecutory complex, guiding them through a reintegration of projected affective components. 

Winston: Is this love? Should they divorce their wives?

Dr. Maxwell: It appears to be a classic folie à deux, a shared psychotic disorder manifesting as a mutual projective identification. 

Winston: So that’s a “yes” on the divorce?

Dr. Maxwell: A spontaneous decoupling from their primary female partners would represent a significant negative reinforcement for their wives. 

Winston: Will medication help?

Dr. Maxwell: If properly titrated, yes. Given the social component, I’d recommend they share a prescription for Rectazine. 

Winston: Would that be taken orally or anally? 

Dr. Maxwell: The suppository is therapeutically essential. It forces a direct confrontation with the very symbolic locus of their conflict.

Winston Velvet

Winston Velvet

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