By Leona James
J. Michael Shoemaker has the same kind of culty control Keith Raniere had.
They exert it over their “loved ones,” including reproductive coercion.
In a cult, the leader takes over the ability to decide if and when to have a child — perhaps the most fundamental decision in a woman’s life.
It demonstrates the leader’s attempt to undermine the attachment between mother and child. The goal is to focus all feelings of affection on the leader or group.
Women face a unique set of life-altering issues.
Those issues often become the focus of media coverage of cult cases. As a result, women’s sexual lives, their lives as mothers, and their ability to control their reproductive choices are upended within cultic organizations.
https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/cults-are-terrifying-they-re-even-worse-women-ncna862051
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAFjH6oyH7s
Where are the babies that should have been born to this cult Shoemaker operated for 50 years?
Shoemaker used his purported Swami “powers” to perform “astrology” readings for his “loved ones.”
What did he see in the stars?
Shoemaker told young women they should not have children, or, if they did, their children would be born deformed in some way. He told students that sex with him was safe and would advance their spiritual lives.
He broke up relationships that members formed with people who were not in the cult.
He separated students from parents, spouses, and children who weren’t part of the group.
All the “loved ones” who remained in his “grip” for decades have seen their opportunities to become parents taken from them as they served the guru.
A survey of 34 of Shoemaker’s former students who left the cult in 2001 exists.
You were discouraged by Swami Chetanananda or his astrologers from having children. 26%.
You were told by Swami Chetanananda or his astrologers that your children would be born deformed or damaged in some way. 9%
You were discouraged from marrying either by Swami Chetanananda or his astrologers. 32%
Swami Chetanananda advised you about whom to date or not date. 44%
Swami Chetanananda advised you about whom to marry. 15%
What has changed since 2001?
The Lost Children
Rebecca, Margi, Maggie, Jen , Theresa, Kari, Molly, Natacha, Lilianna, Claudia, Vivina, Brenda, Cassia, Susan, Laura, Karla, Patty, Karen, none have children.
Raniere branded, Shoemaker strangles. They are the same.
Both controlled the motherhood of their followers.
Liz Bazzani
Liz Bazzani
Sharon Ward inserted herself in the investigation into the death of Liz Bazzani.
There is no record of investigators interviewing Shoemaker, the abbot of the Movement Center where Liz lived for decades.
The police report is short on details and long on what Sharon Ward had to say.
The Report GO 42 2017-18178 is available from the Portland Public Records website for a fee.
It states Liz’s death was caused by asphyxia caused by drowning.
Asphyxia is what happens when you are strangled.
The report does not indicate where the drowning occurred.
Was she put in the river after suffering from asphyxia?
Portland Police Bureau GO 42 2017-18178 CASE NUMBER
PUBLIC RECORD RELEASE
PRINTED ON: 10/05/2022 PRINTED BY: 48662 Page 9/10 VERSION: 181015 1
On 2/7/2017 I spoke with DME Chappelle who told me that MI?s death was caused by asphyxia by drowning, and the manner undetermined. See Medical Examiner?s report for further details.
In conclusion, during the course of my investigation I did not find any evidence to support the possibility of foul play in the
death of MI BAZZANI. Her behavior was described by unusual by family and friends in the weeks leading up to her death.
Additionally, her physical and mental state seemed to be declining, from an unknown cause.
The information provided in cell phone records show that MI likely left her residence between 2240 and 2252 hours on 1/18/2017, and spent some time walking downtown.
I did not find any information that she met with anyone, and it appears she spent her last few hours alone. I did not find any notes or other information to suggest that MI was suicidal, however her erratic behavior and physical/mental decline may have contributed.
The report does not indicate if police found Liz’s cell phone.
Ward inserted herself into the investigation. The police did not request she use her cadaver sniffing dogs to help find the body.
She volunteered to set up the search herself.
This level of control fits with what people have said about Ward: She would take a bullet for Shoemaker.
She controlled much of what goes on at the Movement Center.
There is no mention of interviewing anyone from the Movement Center except Vanessa and Sharon Ward. No other family members were interviewed even though they are mentioned as living at the center.

Sharon controlled the entire process.
Sharon plants into the report that Liz was losing weight and losing her hair. The police did get dental records but no medical records.
An Artist With Sweet Support


He writes on this website:
“My name is Guy Boster. I’m an artist living in Portland, Oregon. I was born and raised in Central Pennsylvania. I was an art director/graphic designer for many years, working 10 years in New York City, yes, during the Mad Men era, 17 years in Dallas, Texas, 6 years in San Francisco, and 15 years in Portland, and took up painting full time about 10 years ago.
His relatives are Howard and Vivina Boster, aka Swami P and his wife.
I am told he worked in the basement of the Movement Center in Portland, and got “likes” on his Facebook page for his art from the “loved ones” of J. Michael Shoemaker.
Guy paints mostly flowers. His art was on display in February 2022 at Splendorporium in Portland.
The “sweet old ones” who “liked” Guy’s art on his Facebook page.
1. Molly Merideth broke her knee during the move from Portland to Gold Beach, carried clean sheets to bed ridden “abused ones”, but she didn’t get to move with the guru;
2. Claudia Henry, married to a “loved one” Govinda, was warned about pedophiliac activities by Anna Merli and Margo Massoud Marver and did nothing.
3. Margo Massoud Marver “liked” Guy’s painting, but kept quiet about possible abuse.
4. Sarah Mocas
5. Christopher O’Brien
6. Brenda A. Siragusa, who does not believe Shoemaker is a monster, thinks he is a Goddess.
7. Cassia Herman, still “loves” Swami, started a recruitment site in Seattle with Margie Pos.
8. Vivina Boster has made a lot of money from the sales of Swami and “loved ones’” real estate, capped her goal in 2019
9. Angie Shoemaker, which Shoemaker is her dad?
10. Susan Marshal, living the life in Gold Beach;
11. Mark O’Brien, is he related to Christopher, another family in the cult;
12. Laura Shanti, still in the grip of the guru, afraid to speak to non “loved ones”;
13. Rio Hibler
14. Karla Refoxo, can tell tales of “plant spirit use.” Is that why she left?
15. Melinda Montague, in the “grip”;
16. Cynthia Brown, spent a lot of time with the video camera, what does she have on tape:
17. Lisa Hoberg has been with Shoemaker since he began.
18. Connie Dyer, her daughter had nice things to say about Diane Asay. Does that get her shunned by the “loved ones”?
19. Jessica Butler, Laura’s daughter. She was there when Ayaz and Liz died, and when others were harmed. Did she escape, or is she still in the “grip”?
20. Chris Cartwright, long time in the “grip”;
21. Keri Gronningsater, still in the “grip.” Cooks in Gold Beach.
22. Margie Pos, started a recruitment site in Seattle, still in the “grip.”
23. EJ Rosen, worked many “seva” hours; still “loves” the guru;
24. Barbara Rabin, joined in 2008, is she still active;
25. Kelly Ponzi, still “gripped”;
26. Nicolas-John van Nieuwenhuysen, there are more with this name affiliated with the guru; another family affair.
27. Barnett Davis, did he buy a painting, or just “like” it. He has plenty of money and gave a lot of it to Shoemaker.
28. Melinda Montegue, growing old with her guru.
29. Irene Dakini. Is that her real name?
30. Drew Carlson, not at Gold Beach. He cooked at the Movement Center, got sick and didn’t make the cut to follow Shoemaker to Gold Beach.;
31. Patty Slote, still in the “grip.” Will she be true unto death
32. Marilyn Ritter. Some remember Shoemaker working her over, still in the “grip.” She has been with Shoemaker since Indiana in the 1980s.
33. Karen Sutherland, with her husband Randy, will clean toilets, work in the garden and spy for her master. In the “grip” for life.

Please leave a comment: Your opinion is important to us!
Angie Shoemaker is Shoemaker’s niece, not daughter.
Is anyone concerned about Chris Jackson. Now that Jesse, Megan and Lili are gone, who is protecting him from harm?
Family members and friends who are concerned about a loved one can call the local police to conduct a wellness visit, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wellness_check#:~:text=In%20the%20United%20States%20and,about%20the%20person%27s%20mental%20health.
https://www.goldbeachoregon.gov/police
There are cult experts in Portland who can assist you if you have a loved one in a cult:
https://m.facebook.com/peopleleavecults/, ahilliard@peopleleavecults.com
https://www.safeportland.org/
mental health counselors who know about this cult:
wkburtner@aol.com
https://www.dr-meichler.com/
You can take action to help some one you care about
https://www.jesus-is-savior.com/False%20Religions/Church%20of%20Christ/exposed.htm
I wonder if this Sharon Ward and Shoemaker had paid off the Portland Police in some way? I wonder if there are any officers who might come forward that worked on Liz Bazzani’s case. She was missing for several days; there must have been interviews and a proper investigation, or did this not happen? I’m curious because I remember the whole entire city of Portland was out searching for Liz Bazzani. For many days. Why did it take so long for Ward to take these trained Search and Rescue dogs to look for Liz? If she inserted herself after almost a week, well where was she the first few days? Was she out with her dogs that first day? Did she look through the night for her friend of 40 years?
Why did she pop up 5-6 days into the search for Liz suddenly confident of knowing what happened? Did it take that long to come up with a cover story?
Asking for a friend
I will answer some of your questions in a post.
THAT is an excellent question. If that is your field of expertise, recovering the dead, and you believe this person committed suicide, she’s been with you decades, you were one of the most major people responsible for the Ashram…why in the world wouldn’t you be on that IMMEDIATELY?
That’s sus as f.
No one wants to be out here thinking it was because the longer she was in the water the harder it would be to see any marks or find anything in any toxicology reports. No one WANTS to believe Liz was purposely harmed. Everything else is terrible enough. It would be good to get clear confirmation on her phone.
Was it found, because if it went into the water with her then she wasn’t gone until after 7:30 am according to that report (if correct) of her phones last activity. Really?
She was just wandering about for 12 hours in the cold and damp? I don’t think Sharon paid the police off. I think that many nefarious people weasel their way into law enforcement, RELIGION or other such “do-gooder” work, because who is going to question this spiritual person who so magnanimously devotes herself to the recovery of lost people?
Add to it she’s an attorney, she knows how to navigate that world to perfection. Add to that 50 years of being able to wholly convince ANYONE that someone is “sick”, “crazy”, “mentally ill” for the Ashram or more importantly Shoemakers benefit.
PLUS the sister of the victim is Shoemakers “BFF” and is absolutely going to collaborate everything Sharon says.
So really, why would the police question that narrative when even the family is on board with it? I would imagine T was acting as the family rep with the girls.
Sharon is “Reaper Mans”“Cleaner”. She’s been doing it a very long time and she’s damn good at it. Whatever the truth is here, it needs to come out for the sake of Liz’s daughters so they aren’t haunted.
Suicide has tremendous and life shattering affects on its survivors. “If only I did this” “If only I did that”. The guilt and stigma is crippling. People who have parents who take their lives are statistically put at much greater risk of doing that themselves. So much so they will be treated by their drs around it because they will insist it’s “hereditary”.
They can expect to have prescriptions immediately pushed on them if they even mention depression. So if she DID NOT do that, her kids for their own mental, physical, spiritual, emotional health and memory of their Mother deserve to know that. There is too much here that doesn’t add up combined with everything that has come out in these last months not to find this more than just a little troubling. Additionally there is a LONG demonstrated pattern of Shoemaker either giving his students suicide suggestion or trying to convince them they will commit suicide if they ever leave him. If that were a factor in this then we are at the least looking at covert psychological murder.
No, he won’t go to jail for it but at least her girls won’t spend the rest of their lives believing their Mother, Grandmother of their babies would just up and leave them like that. The psychological fuckery of that place is as incalculable as it is inexcusable. Reading that bit about how Sharon treated that AK after her Mom died? My God. Her Father I believe was one of Rudi’s originals, student of his long before Shoemaker.
She ran the kitchen for years. Before I read that I thought Sharon was powerful. I guess there is someone out there that must intimidate her. Only the weakest of women lay in wait for a strong woman to be at their most vulnerable and pain stricken to strike that kind of blow. Never mind her, Snow.
The apple she tried to kill your heart with will be the one she ultimately chokes on. Every wicked witch always gets hers in the end.
Also, was a full autopsy done? Did they screen for drugs?
Oh delightful another conspiracy theory. Elderly woman, with signs of dementia, wanders off and is found ten days later drowned in nearby river.
Obviously, she was murdered and the cops paid off to cover it up ?????
Not too long ago I posted here about the disappearance and presumed suicide by drowning of Florida Dr.Chaundre Cross. Just to show how easy it is to gin up a perfectly ordinary non-suspicious death into a Big Story and a flashy tale of murder and conspiracy.
Liz Bazzani drowned. It was investigated, an autopsy was done, there was no foul play, case closed.
But I’m eager to see how Frank inflates this one!
Your wish shall be granted.
There was not in fact an autopsy. Sadly that river sees too much of this.
https://www.wweek.com/news/2017/09/13/nearly-every-week-a-body-is-found-in-a-portland-river-this-is-not-normal/
Determining someone drowned after fishing them out of a river and an autopsy is not the same thing.
It’s obviously difficult to do given the condition of a person after being in water for that length of time. Plus the expense of conducting one for every person they find that way would be astronomical.
An autopsy was not done.
It was poorly investigated and in fact No autopsy was done
Liz did not have dementia and was not suicidal. She wanted to move out of the ashram but did not have the finances to do so.
She was concerned that her granddaughter had gotten possessed. She was worried about her.
Michael Shoemaker, known as SC, sought money, power, and control over others and through his narcissistic disorder, and dealings with corrupt sadhus in India whom he sought out to try to attain practices that would give him “powers” he became demonically possessed. Anyone around him unawares and not strong enough to see the darkness peering through his eyes could be negatively influenced without realizing it.
Was black magic being used against both Liz and Natascha? It seems like it. How to prove that. I don’t know. US culture does not validate such possibilities nor choose to investigate into such darkness. And it wouldn’t show up in an autopsy. But in Natascha’s own words in a Frank Report article she said she felt she was “in a trance” when she jumped.
Liz would never go out walking on a snowy night in January without a coat, hat, scarf, and gloves. She was always bundled up when she went out. She knitted beautiful, colorful gloves and scarves and always wore them. Always. She went to FIT in NY as a young woman and studied textile design.
She always took care to have a put together ensemble when she went out. Liz would NEVER of her own free will walk from the ashram to the river in downtown Portland in the dark, alone, on a cold snowy night without a coat. Nope.
Maybe she was TAKEN out of the ashram and not given a chance to get her coat and purse and bundle herself. I wish I knew. I pray for her well being on the other side. I pray for the truth to be revealed.
I second this about her personality! absolutely
Cross Dressers and Cross Abusers
About: “dealings with corrupt sadhus in India whom he sought out to try to attain practices that would give him “powers”
On the Tibetan Facebook page is a “ lovely photo” of Swami Chetanananda and Lama Wangdu wearing their orange robes and skirts. It looks like it was taken at the Movement Center with Molly Meridith, Susan Marshall and maybe shaven headed Jen Wilhelm clapping in the background. https://www.facebook.com/tibetan.chod The photo was taken by Moni O’Neal
Plenty of lifers “loved ones” joined in and “liked” this photo:
Patricia Yinger
Samuel Long
Patty Slote, wife of Thomas Fabrizio, the Ganesh devotee and book mogul
Sara Storm, a possible “recruiter” for Shoemaker
Kelly Ponzi, still in the “grip” and often seen at Gold Beach
Chris Cartwright, a lifer
Linda Pope, a lifer
Vanessa van Nieuwenkuysen, one of many Nieuwenkuysen’s involved with Shoemaker
Blythe Grandon, a lifer
Susan Marshal, a lifer
Marilyn Ritter, a lifer
Karen Sutherland, a lifer
Swami Ganeshananda, a “loved one” who gave Shoemaker a Bronze Rudi Murti he made himself, how touching
All these “loved ones” liked the post about Wangdu, but did any of them help those he and Shoemaker harmed?
On this same site is a photo of Wangdu with the Dalai Lama. Too bad Shoemaker didn’t make the cut, one more thing Shoemaker shares with Keith Raniere, neither one got their photo the Dalai Lama. But they both tried!
Here is a taste of the hagiology and mythology published on the Facebook page, of the two orange robed abusers, doesn’t really fit on the back of a prayer card, even when edited for space:
Wangdu says:
I had been staying in Parping, Nepal, a sacred site of Guru Rinpoche and Vajra Yogini, for seven years when a person from America named Swami Chetanananda arrived. He was the Guru of Nityananda Institute, a spiritual community that practices Trika Yoga and studies the philosophy of Kashmir Shaivism. He also had an interest in Buddhism, and particularly the Kusali Mahasiddha Lineage of India that I practice. He asked me a few questions about my practice and asked me to perform the Chöd, which I did. He liked it a lot and said that it was a practice basically identical to his own. He said that Americans would be very interested in it. I told him that the Tibetans were not extremely interested in the solitary yogi type of practice, that they were more attracted to the large monastic gatherings. I said that if there were people in America who appreciated it, they must have associated with the mahasiddhas of India in previous lifetimes and that they may very well be incarnations of tantric yogis. Swamiji liked me and, for auspicious reasons, I gave him my damaru, bell, and thighbone trumpet. ……
Wangdu thinks, Maybe I will get a green card for his children and grandchildren
I wondered if perhaps he was someone who had practiced among the previous mahasiddhas of India or if he was an incarnation of one of the mahasiddhas who later lived in Tibet such as Padampa Sangye, Virupa, Tangtong Gyelpo, Milarepa, or Shavari. Such mahasiddhas have freedom over the process of death and rebirth, and some may want to take birth in a nice country like America! ….
Swami spoke with his disciples back in America about me and they asked him to invite me to teach them Chöd. When Swami returned to Nepal he requested teachings for his students and invited me to America. When I spoke to my lama friends about it they thought it would be very good. They told me that if people in America were requesting Buddhadharma, that I definitely must teach, and that it would be beneficial to spread knowledge of Buddhadharma wherever it was not yet understood. …..
Can you keep a Tantric Secret?
At Swami’s request, I gave the Chöd initiation, the Sky-Opener Initiation, to Swami and his students. When I told His Holiness the Dalai Lama that Westerners were requesting initiations He said that we must teach anyone in the world who requests, without regret or possessiveness. I have taught Swami and his students everything I know about the “ripening initiation,” “perfecting transmission,” and “liberating instructions” of Chöd. I have also given many initiations of the Pacification of Suffering Lineage of Padampa Sangye: outer, inner and secret Padampa Sangye, Vajravarahi, Krudhakali, Nairatmya and the Twelve Tathagatas, the Ali Kali Scripture Initiation, Protectors and so forth and, so as not to spoil the auspiciousness, I have given everything. …..I have offered these to Swamiji without regret.
What will Wangdu harvest? Frank has published testaments of his abuses at the Movement Center, but Wandu does not mention that.
As these practices are translated into English, they will spread and become available everywhere in the world. Now, if I die, I am happy because I know these teachings will flourish ever more widely. I feel like a farmer who has finished planting his seeds. Now I am happy to think about the harvest ripening in the future.
Good news, Lama Wangdu says that Black Magic will be diminished! Is that what Shoemaker was looking for? Maybe not.
As these teachings of Padampa Sangye spread widely they will help bring about peace in our world because they will become a means for people to become free from hatred, greed, and ignorance, and to develop compassion, love, and altruism. It will start to happen automatically, just by seeing the books of these teachings! People will become motivated to practice! Black magic will be diminished! Fewer weapons will be manufactured! For these reasons I am glad that this work is being made available now. I pray that the teachings spread everywhere and that they be authentically practiced.”
“Lama Tsering Wangdu Rinpoche was born in 1939 in the Langkor Valley in West Tingri, Tibet. …..
Today, Lama Wangdu RInpoche is the Abbot of Pal Gyi Ling monastery and continues to serve as a healer and spiritual guide for countless people in Nepal and the United States. As one of the few remaining Tibetan lamas who trained and practiced in pre-occupied Tibet, he is also committed to preserving and transmitting the authentic and rare teachings he has received and brought to fruition through decades of practice.”
Apparently, this “need to preserve” the teachings was one of the fraudulent indoctrination lines Shoemaker used to get his “students” to have sex with him. Shoemaker used the translations of Dr. Alexis Sanderson to ”justify” his rape and abuse as a “traditional” Tibetan practice that would “advance their spiritual lives”. This type of abusive Tantric sex is totally exposed in this article about abuse by in the Agama Yoga cult led by guru Narcis Tarcau, who calls himself Swami Vivekananda Saraswati and is referred to as ‘Swami’ for short by his followers. He has been accused of running a ‘sex cult’ and widespread sexual assault against his students, allegations that he and Agama have denied.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8620357/Tantra-students-reveal-raped-abused-guru-yoga-retreat.html
Funny how these sex cult gurus like Shoemaker, Raniere and Tarcau always deny the allegations and blame the students for their abuse. They use “ancient Tantric rituals”, based on known psychological coercive control methods like gaslighting, dependency, fear, threats, sleep deprivation, chanting, and repetive movements to induce trance like states to gain control over their victims.
Tibetan Chod is a small group of students of Lama Tsering Wangdu.
https://www.facebook.com/tibetan.chod
“She wanted to move out of the ashram but did not have the finances to do so”.
Taken from the Police Report GO 422017-18178
Reporting Person said that MI owns a vehicle, but it does not run and is accounted for.
When a “loved one” wanted to escape the Movement Center, I gave him $100 to fix his vehicle so he could take off. He had worked at the Center for years and was broke, just like Liz. Part of the culty plan is to keep people dependent and broke so they can’t leave. There may be no bars on the windows, but after being seperated from your family and friends, indoctrinated to believe that if you leave you will suffer terrible crimes, bad health, accidents…plus you are broke and your soul is sucked dry, what can you do with a broken down vehicle and emply pockets and fear? Plus who will believe what you say when Sharon and the henchwomen proclaim,oh she is demented, she suffered a fall, she hit her head? and then the police ask, why didn’t you just leave?
Sharon Wards sick reign is coming to an end. Personally I cannot wait for those who protect the sick acts of Michael shoemaker are just as sadistic as he is. She threatens, intimidates, and hunts down anyone who dare expose her decades of secrets.
You’re getting exposed Sharon Ward. And you’ve brought nothing but pain to the lives of so many. It’s all going to come back and your dogs can’t protect you.
Second generation ashram members have nothing good to say about Swami Cheezwhizananda. Nor, his inner circle. I wonder why? Because this clown has no idea what true, positive productive mentoring looks like. And, that is a fact. Not my opinion, it is the collective voice of almost all of this group. And–just for good measure, that sentiment extends beyond just so-called second generation ashram members, it encompasses the vast majority of students under the age of 35 who came in the past however many years.
But–according to Swami, he did nothing but help these people, and whole charade of, “look at all I did for these people, and they turn on me”. Blah blah blah. Bullshit. The same, bullshit over and over and over again.
Michelle–you rat. Go rat me out and tell Swami I call him Cheezwhizananda. Because cheese whiz is fake cheese. Sadhvi–have you learned anything yet? I doubt it.
Michelle is a spineless, weak, mostly useless person. Another zombie parasite going through the motions, because what else has she got to do? Doesn’t surprise me in the least she betrayed you.
“Asphyxia can be caused by injury to or obstruction of breathing passageways, as in strangulation or the aspiration of food (choking) or large quantities of fluid (near-drowning or drowning)”
From Brittanica.com
I would be very surprised if Laura’s daughter has anything to do with them. She was treated HORRIBLY after her Mother died. Sharon immediately locked her out of the Ashram, maligned her to the community and kept ALL her Mothers things from her. Told us all not to let her in. She had just had a baby. How is that for cruel? The “Ashram Kids” are the worst victims of all. They never had a choice to become part of the Ashram. They were born into it. I’ve appreciated you leaving them out of it. Grand theft childhood. All but them had a life before this happened. Family. Friends. Choices. We were all adults. We had something even if it was shitty to return to. I don’t care if they are adults now, I feel like they are off limits unless you can find compelling proof they have committed some kind of crime here. They have been through too much already. If any of you are reading, I am SO sorry you are discovering all of this and I pray you can find good support and can make the happy lives that were literally robbed from you. You deserve so much better. All of my love to you.
That breaks my heart that she went through that. Sharon is scum. A selfish heartless cruel cold-blooded reptile. And SC would have known every bit of it and stood by and watched, or else he ordered it.
As far as I’m aware, only one of them is left who still supports this madman. Tara Israel. The rest were tossed by the wayside by these heartless corrupt people, or fled.
Did Liz Bazzani help the Ashram kids against the will of Shoemaker? Did he harm her because of her kind heart and her love of her children and their friends, many of whom are Ashram kids? Liz’s girls are friends with Laura’s daughter. Shoemaker wants his “loved ones” to only “love” him.