Snyder Diary Reveals Her Upbeat Mood in Dec. 2002 -Just Before She Met Raniere – and Reveals ESP Had Full Court Press for Her to Quit Her Job and Join ESP Full time

Kristin Snyder with kayaking outfit

Some readers may find the following post pretty boring for it contains mainly excerpts from the diary of Kristin Snyder. Unless you have been following the case, with interest, it may not make much sense. This post is really for those who are, along with me, making a deep dive into the question of what happened to Kristin Snyder.

During December 2002, Executive Success Programs’ leaders Nancy Salzman, Esther Chiappone Carlson and others did their best to get Kristin Snyder deeply involved in the group. This was part of the program – make ESP your whole life.

On December 18, Kristin participated in one of the ESP conference calls.  These calls were something recruiters for ESP regularly did. They would do a conference call and various ESP members would be on hand to help sell one or more possible new recruits. There would be a host who would make the pitch – and also on the line would be happy students who would give testimonials on how ESP helped them.
The host would tell about Raniere and his greatness – and of Nancy Salzman’s increible teaching skills.
Here are Kristin Snyder’s notes on her conference call of Dec. 18.
5 minutes of people introducing themselves.
Host gives personal testimony-5 minutes
-get to cause instead of dealing with effects. We get caught up in the effect and not the cause. [ESP teachings]
Information on Keith Raniere 4 minutes. Started putting ESP together when he was 12.  IQ 240, one of 3 [top] problem solvers in the world. Introduced 400,000 people.
Information on Nancy Salzman 5 minutes.
Neuro-linguistic programming
Time (?) Therapy
Corporate talking
Experience self in breakthrough limitations. Worked together [Keith and Nancy] for 9 months and opened Albany New York teaching facility 5 years [ago]. How does ESP do this? 90% new technology[it is the] true way to understand or experience. What is it like? Type writer v. computer.
Does as little (?) We want to know what things are – [Keith was a ] little physicist before age of 12. Cannot be logical thinkers. We understand cognitive. Is a way that doesn’t makeup reality. Make up what something means. Explore what we made up when we were young…. Of fear around Exploration of Meaning [therapy]- go to a place of nonsense has integration. 6th sense- Oh! Now I get it. That’s what I made that can never go back and pretend you didn’t know that piece of information.
Things come up because non-existent. State of mind(?) Tools to deal with things we dump into (?) That pop up.
Coach with 16-day course
Katie Fletcher-SF 20 advertising, publishing, decision making- learned cause behind it. Shifted her permanently almost effortless more creativity weight is lifted and is more joyful.
EM- Rational Inquiry process highly recommended it.
Kim Woolhouse- Medical technician, 18 years, body massage looking for meaning, spiritual gain, reactive to people and situations. Supportive with mom and sister. in ways she’s really busy. (Couldn’t be) Gained 2 hours a day, had more energy and less sleep.
More focused and could accomplish more between 200 and 500 disintegrations. What is the average age of participants? 13- 83
Technology- His method?
Reality- based & scientific
Cost- 5 day $2,160. 16 days $6,000. Wow really expensive. Not really that expensive where spending it already cost average over your life spending more than that. Only way to know is to go. Value is tremendous then so grateful. Some call every Wednesday at 5:05 p.m., Tuesday 8:15 a.m. and Sunday 7:15 p.m.
Kristin wrote in her journal sometime in December 2002 something she called “Mission Statement”
To appreciate life and share that appreciation with others. To be integrated. Use my intelligence and compassion to be a catalyst to effect change in mine and others beliefs and actions towards the earth. Preserve and maintain for ourselves and future generations. Objective 1 to help others identify what they value about themselves (?)(?)(?) Place on the Earth. ESP(?)?)
Objective 2- work with others to find solutions to environmental problems we have caused.
Objective 3- clarify my values and beliefs and live them consistently.
– Journal
– EMs 2 times a week
– Homework
– Persistency
– Ethos
– Repeat interviews
– Stripe path
Objective 4 Be physically healthy and live long. {this one did not work out for Kristin]
Objective 5 be outside the box of limitations.
Free will- Following ESP
Frustrated complaining and being stuck= comfort.
Recognize that I make my own choices and can change them.
Transition plan- channel time and effort towards ESP
-transition work to esp
-find out more
– how to bring esp (to the) world.
What do I do next to become a coach?
-Enroll two people in (?) Program Ethos. Work with (?) To get Heidi’s [Clifford’s] check almost 11-12-02
– within 30 days of last day of interview- coach with Ed [Kinum] 2 striped coach.
Enjoy making transition plan. Talk to Esther about Kim and parents. Persistency-new one.
We can see here she is getting a lot of bad advice – not the least of which is to quit her job and work for ESP. There also seems to be a discussion about overthrowing the government.  On top of that, she is evidently getting a lot of EMs which is the ESP therapy where the ESP EM practitioner “helps” the individual recall childhood memories to see why they act the way they do. 
EM with Lori Clark
Useful-making a difference-helping people, Earth and myself.
Overwhelm myself-not making a difference.
Cavemen did useful things and didn’t know what it was.
All needs are met=tied down.
Job is to tie oneself down = don’t want a job.
We are always making a difference.
Good difference= improving helping
Path- improve me, others and the world. Using resources as possible and wisely- run out of energy, water. Things we depend on everything finding alternate forms of energy.
– overthrowing the government. Work 40 hours a week to live lifestyles for safety (?)(?) Govt, military) (?) have made 4 hrs
– who makes rules? We all do[.] what rules[?]
Karen [Abney] asked me what my coach can do for me. The more I think about that question the more defensive I get.
My first thought is that the question implies that my coach isn’t doing anything for me. Or maybe because she asks me to think of that. Maybe I’m not doing “enough.”
Yesterday I wrote that I would like for my coach to make recommendations to me for things to do that I haven’t identified or can’t see.  Also, challenge me in the areas I need improvement in.
P- what can my coach do for me
E- fear and anger- motion in stomach
T- I must not be doing enough
What is my coach doing for me?
– giving EMs
– recognizing things I can do to reach/identify my goals
– giving me more information
– challenge me, my assumptions
– bring up my shit and let’s deal with it.
The lies we Tell ourselves- I’m lazy
*Self esteem homework why or wouldn’t pick option
Be comfortable with process how am I valuable in the world?
Why do I do that?
Keep trying and failing 12-20-02
1. how do I really know when I am doing something really good without recognition?
2. How does being recognized relate to being alone or not alive?
3. How does all that relate to family?
I know I am doing something really good when I set a goal to achieve or do something of value or think is important. And then I do it. I know where I … want to be and then I get there. That is success. It takes recognition of where I want to be and that I am doing something to reach the goal before it becomes something good. = I recognize forward-moving. When I think that someone else wants me 2 be doing a certain thing (reaching a goal) I’d look for recognition or acknowledgement from them because that symbolizes that I reached the goal. But because they may not really want me to do anything at all and I am just making it up they do not acknowledge or recognize my efforts and I feel as if I have not done enough or what they wanted. I am always feeling tasks. when I receive a clear request from someone else I do not need recognition. I know what is required. I do it. I feel good about myself.
Higher level EM. The recognition that I am seeking from others shows me that people care without it I feel alone in the sense that no one cares. they are paying attention, they are being clear with me, I know what to expect and then I know what to do and then I feel good about myself. So if people give me clear direction I know what is expected of me and I know my value I do it gladly and I feel good about achieving what it is I set out to do= success. But if I receive clear direction and I don’t want to do it, it is inconsistent with my values. I make myself bad. I am moving away from my goals and I feel bad.
That is backwards moving and I don’t like it but I want the other person to know that I care and that they care. I make myself feel guilty. I don’t get recognition or praise because I don’t do the thing because it would be inconsistent with my values and that is why I am alone.
I tell myself they don’t really love me. Because if they really loved me they wouldn’t want me to do something I thought was “wrong”. I do it because I don’t want to disappoint them or not get their approval. Then I compromise my own values.
 Kristin participated in her next conference call on Dec. 22.
12-22-02 Conference call
Esther [Chiappone Carlson] – introducing Barbara Jeske. Top student in trainer for stripes blue [sash]. Successful entrepreneur. Looking for something- the missing something seeker not doing the important thing. Looking for me in purpose. Hard to verbalize Joy and magnificence are indescribable.
Founder- met Keith 11 years ago. Five people in living room. $400,000 (?)(?)
Co-founder is humble, down to earth, kind, respectful, playful and funny.
Technology- Nancy- 22 years human behavior/ rechange the best in their lives and studied it.
Technology vs. methodology ???
Nothing seemed to work maybe people didn’t want to change.
Keith- Mentor
-commit rest of life and can never unlearn. Change what it is to be human
– a course in ethics
– a course in what it means to be human
– succeed in our lives that we want to
Physicist- cause and effect- pattern makers
Testimonies- Audrey (?) Nurse- blood work (?) Issues we’re getting anywhere first five day in June 16-day [intensive] in February … Knowledge was not enough[;] tools of 16 day intensive is key. If you had the tools you would just do the thing that you want to do. Instead we say there is something really wrong with me.
Consistent and ethical
General philosophy: is there a general goal? Humanity is the best of what it is to be human[;] technology is awesome….
Inconsistency of thought process- never teach what to think. [ESP] Teaches how to think.
Are people becoming more disintegrated over time? Many people are non-ethical. Some are ethical. Some are unethical.
How course cost breakdown?
10% 16 days $2700, $2160, $7500, $6000
– tuition is underpriced
– know what people are (?)(?)(?)
– gives ability to discover who we are[.] in this sounds like a cult- worship part….
– do you like cults[?]
– Cult is root word of culture- benign.
– is this some weird thing- cut off chicken heads
– dictionary definition- not religious, not spiritual….  This is for all of us to get along
– critical thinking- doctrination is Keith has many attributes. Some born with, works hard and developed it. Tribute, give credit where due
Why are we here- to get as much … joy as possible….
If I strongly believe that there is a God and then you question me. That’s a silly thought- if I have a really strong faith in God would I be shook up by it?
Kristin was also getting plenty of EMS.
She wrote,
Topics for EMs
12-20-02✓* EM anxiety
P- Before calling Karen to get an EM
E- motion in stomach & hands, fear
T- I can’t do it
12-29-02✓* activity underdog
P- Out of shape, scared To turn around, group talked her into pushing on.
E- pressure in stomach outside sin, guilt, feel bad, fear
T- we are pushing her too hard I am being insensitive.
We all do what we want at all times give yourself approval
1-3-03 * Noise at night
P- clunking sound outside
E- fear
T- someone is stealing something or breaking in I am being robbed or vandalized.
Do switch, keep journal by bed, look at it again and see if I need another EM.
Uncomfortable meeting 4th- the eye thing mirroring.
Kristin Snyder – was she murdered or did she commit suicide? She seemed pretty optimistic about life and ESP in December 2002

It is pretty obvious that ESP leaders were pushing Kristin hard to be a full-time ESP member and quit her job. It seems she wrote her December diary from Alaska.

She was to soon leave Alaska and go to Albany where it is believed she met Keith Alan Raniere and from their encounter[s], she believed later that she was pregnant.

As we can see, Kristin is not psychotic here. She is contemplating making a change in her life but her mood sounds hopeful.
She is getting sucked into ESP and she seems to recognize she wants to plunge in. She is contemplating leaving her business and getting into the full-time work of spreading the technology of Keith – the genius – Raniere.
By the first week of January, she was to meet him and then her life changed. As we have seen, she returned to Alaska [after visiting her parents and possibly going back again to Albany] to take her second intensive.
She soon began to act more and more erratic and starting telling people she was pregnant with Keith’s child. This caused her to be removed from an intensive back in Alaska several times – and the last time she was removed, she was never seen again.
What happened to her between December when she was in Alaska and January when she went to Albany?
And why did she spiral downward so fast after she returned to Alaska in February?
Did the monsters drug her or did they gaslight her – intensely?

About the author

Frank Parlato


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  • Maybe Kristen Keeffe knows more and she is right about Miss Snyder still being alive.
    A name not mentioned much if any on FR, except on what was seen on Discovery?
    Was Kristin capable enough to make her self disapear?

    • So, I’m about as big of a Kristin Keeffe defender as you’ll find. The fact that she’s still throwing out the “she’s alive” theory, makes me queasy.
      If Keeffe was somehow a part of Snyder’s disappearence or part of the cover-up, she would understandably still be throwing out diversionary explanations.

      If Ed, Nina, Esther etc. have nothing to hide, why are they silent?

      Bottom line, it’s time for the FBI to make some calls. Somebody with a big stick needs to flush out the truth.

  • This gives us two more writing samples that are inconsistent within themselves, and as compared to other samples.

    Notice, for instance, the difference in the first page between the “W” in “We are” written in the left margin, which is somewhat pointed and slanted downwards and to the left, and the two “W”s in the last line, which are rounded and slanted to the right. On the second page, the “I” after “T – ” about halfway down is completely different from the way she writes “I” in the first two sentences. Other characters vary significantly between the two pages.

    Only a conspiracy more vast and complex than anything yet proposed, could account for how the writer was practically a different person every time they set pen to paper.

    That, or there was just a lot of natural variance in her writing – perhaps aggravated by the emotional and psychological turmoil she was undergoing. And she could even have been ambidextrous.

  • She is definitely not suicidal. She is clearly questioning her place in the world and, as Frank stated, being pushed hard to continue on and pay for more classes. Her notes read probably like 1,000s of others that were in on these conference calls over the years.

    • Prior to these diary entries, her family had described disturbing changes in her mental state, so all was not well.

      Any seeming normalcy of this set of notes contrasts with other details that have been revealed recently. It also suggests yet another theory, that she might even have been manic-depressive – seemingly okay at this point, but in downturns before and after.

      Immediately prior to her disappearance, she was definitely identified as being suicidal, so much so that her partner Heidi took the step of getting a handgun out of their residence.

      • Why did Clifford only secure one gun? What about all the other guns?
        It would help if someone could see a list of all registered guns in Heidi Cliffords name.
        What does Morton say? Did she give Cliffords gun back to her?

          • Interesting that a gun in hindsight is still as far as the audience knows is technically unaccounted for. One unaccounted body and one unaccounted 357 given to Kathy Morton correct?
            Did Alaskan officials even think to ask Clifford about this gun? (S) or speak to Morton?

      • “Prior to these diary entries, her family had described disturbing changes in her mental state, so all was not well.”

        Pardon me, but I haven’t read or maybe don’t recall reading a family’s entry detailing any “disturbing” changes in her mental state. Would you care to share where this is written?

    • I wondered what this personal notation prompt was too. I noticed on the article where she needs to make phone calls and go to Mexico that she also wrote a “P- ” I figured it stood for phonecall since it was right before that sentence to call Esther etc… but now we see it again.

      So what does P E T stand for?

  • Did Kristin leave her workbook behind in class? You must have gotten this from a Nxivm student. She doesn’t seem suicidal to me.

  • Or Heidi Clifford was jealous that her mate was spending less and less time at home. If the pregnancy rumors are true, I’d imagined Heidi Clifford would have been upset, to say the least. They were in a civil union. It makes me wonder what Heidi Clifford was like behind closed doors during Kristin’s transitioning into this cult. Was she a possessive lover? Overbearing? How deep were Heidi Clifford’s hands inside Kristin Snyder’s pockets anyways? Kristin spending thousands of dollars on Nxivm classes could have added financial strain, add the jealousy and rage from the infidelity.
    This is a melting pot of disaster for newlyweds.

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” Parlato was also credited in the Starz docuseries "Seduced" for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Additionally, Parlato’s coverage of the group OneTaste, starting in 2018, helped spark an FBI investigation, which led to indictments of two of its leaders in 2023.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premiered on May 22, 2022. Most recently, he consulted and appeared on Tubi's "Branded and Brainwashed: Inside NXIVM," which aired January, 2023.

IMDb — Frank Parlato

Contact Frank with tips or for help.
Phone / Text: (305) 783-7083


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