Former Student: My Observations of Brilliant Barbara Jeske, and Militant Lauren Salzman – in 2002
December 19, 2019
By Sandra, a former student.
I studied in Nxivm for a total of three weeks of very intense classes [intensives] and attended one Vanguard Week. The time period was about 2002. Barbara Jeske was my instructor for both class intensives that I took.
I found her to be a brilliant observer of feelings and behaviors of her students and a detailed, conscientious teacher. I found her quite likable precisely because she was brilliant in her delivery of the material and coaching.
I was there when Jness was first introduced by Nancy Salzman and attended one Jness meeting. However, I did not feel I needed a woman empowerment group so I declined membership.
I was there when Nancy first introduced Lauren as an instructor of Nxivm classes. She said how very proud she was that Lauren was following in her footsteps.
I was then a part of a drill Lauren coached and immediately I knew I would never want her as an instructor.
Why? Her style was harsh, disciplinary and almost militant.
I had the thought that she was trying too hard to be powerful and that she overcompensated for a lack of it.
There were large groups gathered at the V-Week I attended. I noticed that Barbara Jeske was sitting alone. As a teacher, she was confident and attentive to the students’ progress. But privately, she looked very lonely to me. I watched her for ten minutes and could tell she felt isolated.
Then I saw her walk over to a group of other staff and sit down with them, in between a few men and women. They accepted her and one could see she was accepted by them.
Barb sort of sunk in, hugging and being hugged and took sustenance from the group, but hiding from a deep loneliness and sadness. Those were my thoughts at the time.
Because I admired Barbara, I wanted to go to her and connect to her and become a strength to her. But I knew that I was just a student and would not at all be considered someone she could confide in and that she would have to maintain her position with me.
But I never forgot her. I was upset to hear what happened to her.