Heidi: Nxivm Christmas Songs: Judge Garaufis is Nobody’s Clown

By Heidi Hutchinson

Between the mystery list and Judge Nicholas Gaurufis, I’m inspired by Pyriel’s Christmas sprites!

To the tune of Santa Clause is coming to Town:

Ohhhhhh, you better watch out,
You better recount
You better not lie
I’m telling you why
Gaurufis is nobody’s clown!

He’s making a list,
Checking it twice
Gonna find out whose got
A Nxivm Stripe
Gaurufis is nobody’s clown!

He sees you when you’re
Sneaking
He’ll know if you’re a fake
He’ll know if you’ve been had
For good
So you better be good for
Goodness sake!

Oh, you better watch out
Better recount
Better not lie
I’m telling you why
Gaurufis is nobody’s clown!

About the author

Frank Parlato

Frank Parlato is the founder of the FrankReport, publisher and editor-in-chief of Artvoice, The Niagara Falls Reporter, Front Page and the South Buffalo News.

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  • Police navidad
    Señor it’s too bad
    Que no mas puede venire
    a visitar Keith Raniere
    En Los Estado’s Unido’s felicidad

    Police Navidad
    Señora so sad
    Necessita reporta
    Que sabe de las DOS chicas pronto y todo de la verdad

    I wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    I wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    I wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    From the bottom of my heart
    We wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    We wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    We wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    From the bottom of our heart

    Police navidad
    Feliz navidad
    Prospero año y felicidad
    Feliz navidad
    Feliz navidad
    Feliz navidad
    Prospero año y felicidad
    We wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    We wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    We wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    From the bottom of our heart
    We wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    We wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    We wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    From the bottom of our heart
    Feliz navidad
    Feliz navidad
    Feliz navidad
    Prospero año y felicidad
    Feliz navidad
    Feliz navidad
    Feliz navidad
    Prospero año y felicidad
    We wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    We wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    We wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    From the bottom of our heart
    We wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    We wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    We wanna wish you a merry Christmas
    From the bottom of our heart
    Feliz navidad
    Feliz navidad
    Feliz navidad
    Prospero año y felicidad
    Songwriters: José Feliciano

  • Joy to Vanguard
    To the tune of “Joy to the World”

    Joy to the world, the Vanguard’s
    Done
    Let hell receive its King
    Let every court prepare Him
    Doom
    And Lawyers and filings bring
    And witnesses will sing
    And Billings, and Prison terms,
    End this crime ring
    Joy to the world

    Joy to the World, no Slaver reigns!
    Let slaves become employed
    Let them be freed
    From sex extortion schemes
    Repeat the sounding joy
    Repeat the sounding joy
    Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy
    Joy to the world, now we sing
    Let hell receive its king
    Joy to the world, now we sing
    Let the freed slaves voices ring
    Joy to the world

    Vanguard ruled DOS with hate and disgrace
    And made the nations prove
    The goriness of His
    wickedness
    And wonders of His greed
    And wonders of His lust
    And wonders, wonders, of disgust

  • Little Hummer Boy

    To the tune of “Little Drummer Boy” Dedicated to Emi and Alex

    Cum they told me
    Pa rum pum pum pum
    A Genius king to see
    Pa rum pum pum pum
    Our thinnest girls we bring
    Pa rum pum pum pum
    To lay before the king
    Pa rum pum pum pum,
    Rum pum pum pum,
    Rum pum pum pum
    So to honor him
    Pa rum pum pum pum
    When we cum
    Pum pum pum pum
    Pa rum pum pum
    Pum pum pum pum
    Pa rum pum pum
    Pum pum pum pum
    Pa rum pum pum
    Pum pum pum pum pa rum
    Genius penis
    Pa rum pum pum pum
    I am a rich boy too
    Pa rum pum pum pum
    I have no girl to bring
    Pa rum pum pum pum
    That’s fit to give our king
    Pa rum pum pum pum,
    Rum pum pum pum,
    Rum pum pum pum
    Shall I play for you
    Pa rum pum pum pum
    Pa rum pum pum
    Pum pum pum pum
    Nancy nodded
    Pa rum pum pum pum
    Alex and Pam kept time
    Pa rum pum pum pum
    I played my dick for him
    Pa rum pum pum pum
    I played my best for him
    Pa rum pum pum pum,
    Rum pum pum pum,
    Rum pum pum pum
    Then he smiled at me
    Pa rum pum pum pum
    Me and my cum
    Cum they told me
    Pa rum pum pum pum
    A Genius king to see
    Pa rum pum pum pum
    Me and my cum
    Me and my cum
    Me and my cum
    Me and my cum
    Rum pum pum pum

  • We are Vanguard’s Slaves

    To the tune of “We are Santa’s Elves” by Burl Ives:

    Ho ho ho!
    Ho ho ho!

    We are Vanguard’s Slaves
    In an Hypnotic haze
    We make “fuck toys”
    Of each girl and boy
    Oh, we are Vanguard’s Slaves!

    We work hard all day
    But we don’t get paid
    Girls we try out
    See if they cry out
    Oh, we are Vanguard’s slaves!

    We love Vanguard’s brand
    But we’re not in his command
    Allie’s our master
    She cums much faster
    Clare told Jane to say!

    Ho ho ho
    Ho ho ho
    We’re not Vanguard’s slaves!

    • I’m in but I’ll pass on the sash, thanks.

      I’ll even throw out some titles if anyone wants to go with ‘em to get a head start:

      “Joy to Vanguard” – Joy to the World
      “Deck Keith’s Balls” – Deck the Halls
      “Police Navidad” – Feliz Navidad
      “Silence Plight” – Silent Night
      “It came upon a midnight Clare” — It came upon a midnight Clear
      “We Are Vanguard’s Slaves” — We are Santa’s Elves 🧝‍♀️

      That’s all I got for now. Prize? How ‘bout front row seats at the trial?

      • Front row seats to the trail sounds intriguing, more so if Keith decides to testify in his defense. Do they allow tomatoes or cabbages into court these days?

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