His name is Keith Raniere. But he has instructed his followers to call him Vanguard - the leader of the new thought. .

Today’s menu for Raniere: Bon Appetit!

Bon Appetit! Or, in Italian, {Raniere is Italian] Mangia Merda!

Keith Raniere nearly starved his slaves – for their own good he told them – with his low calorie diet.

Happily, he is eating well in federal custody at Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn.

So, what’s on the menu today for the self-proclaimed world’s smartest man?

Many people believe breakfast is the most important meal of the day and at MDC great care is taken to ensure inmates get a good start to their day with a sumptuous early morning breakfast.

Today, we had that down home country favorite: biscuits with gravy, with plenty of margarine.

Fruit – today it is pears, grapes and cherries – are nature’s way of spelling “delight.” And Raniere had a plentiful portion.  A nutritious bowl of cereal with milk. Plus fruit juice. And a savory cup of steaming fresh brewed [or instant] coffee.

 

 

If the delicious cup of coffee is not too stimulating, right after breakfast is the perfect time to take a nice little nap to be at peak for activities later in the day. And, of course, those activities begin with lunch.

It may surprise you, but at MDC, lunch is even better than breakfast!

Today, we have an assortment of select cold cuts – everyone’s favorite lunch on a warm spring day, with two whole slices of bread! To round out this culinary pleasure, a heaping helping of high fiber coleslaw with just the right amount of that tasty milk-like sweetly seasoned sauce that gives it its special luscious flavor. Add a giant mound of potato salad for carbs and energy and you’re pretty much set for the rest of the afternoon!

Coffee is served with two creamers for that rich sensation of blond coffee that coffee connoisseurs love so well.  And now, it’s time for a siesta after this heavy chowing.

 

There are some who say the food is so good at MDC that if people on the outside knew, they might break the law just to get in and enjoy the succession of gastronomical delights served three times daily.

Now it’s time for dinner.

Dinner is the right time to relax and unwind and reflect upon the day’s activities.  That’s why prisoners at MDC get a full 20 minutes to savor their food and think about the past and future.

Today, the pampered prisoners at MDC will receive a fabulous portion of tasty meatloaf with mashed potatoes and gravy. And, as if that wasn’t enough – a special treat — a huge portion of legumes – so healthy and loaded with fiber. To top it off, because a lot of prisoners are big eaters –  three whole slices of bread!  An apple for desert [healthy] and a large, refreshing glass of water makes this meal thrilling for the health-conscious prisoner as well as the gourmand who delights in culinary pleasure.

As you can see from the picture below, this meal is for men with hearty appetites. Note how the large portion of meatloaf virtually dwarfs the slices of bread beside it.

 

After a sumptuous meal like this, it’s time to put on the slippers, grab a good book and slip into bed, read a little and soon be ready for a night of sweet dreams and perhaps a vision or two of what will on the menu tomorrow for breakfast.

 

 

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21 Comments

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  • I get that it is a mute point since he was only ever faking it, but can’t real vegetarians demand meatless diet in jail?

  • I understand they do a heck of a Sunday brunch. Complete with bottomless bellinis and an omelette bar.

  • I’ve been looking for a place that serves good biscuits and gravy in NYC, not sure Metropolitan Detention Center delivers to my neighborhood.

  • The point is his NXIVM followers would consider this gourmet, filling meals. Put all of his skinny girls on this eating plan and they would gain weight.

  • That food looks terrible compared to what regular, law-abiding, American citizens have access to.

    It is apt that it happened to such a manipulative d-bag and ungrateful person.

    At least he still gets to eat something unlike many people in third world countries. Too bad for him it’s not pizza with hot sauce or vagina anymore.

  • How about giving us a side-by-side comparison of the women’s diet inside NXIVM vs. the Vanguard’s diet outside of NXIVM? Would like to see pictures as well. Also would like to know if the Vanguard has ever tested his women’s loyalty by having a 3rd party tempt the women with pizza and Big Macs while covertly monitoring them.

  • He should have bread and water 3 times a day 365 days a year plus a bare bone on weekends and holidays.

  • Frank this kind of news is retarted. There is nothing newsworthy in this. You are trying to do something good, and have done a lot of good through your work, but articles like this pretty much pull you all the way down into the gutter. It doesn’t matter what he is eating or not, it’s the least of our concerns. For what it’s worth, there are plenty of poor people in the world who would consider themselves fortunate to even get what he is getting, and your posts like this one, only act as a way to make light of their situations, and speak more about the pain you are experiencing, rather than bringing about justice. I am saddened by these kinds of reports from you.

    • This is Frank’s blog, not a newspaper site. You might want to follow the story on Artvoice if these kinds of posts annoy you.
      I for one find these details of his prison life fascinating.

      And by your logic we can only use satire to describe the life of the most hapless person in the world, the one lonely soul with whom no-one wants to trade places? Come on…

    • Nothing like misspelling “retarded” to start your post. Your criticism of Mr. Parlato’s selection of material for HIS blog cuts like a Knife. Personally I’m happy that Allison Mack’s overwrought Mom is getting a day off…so far.

      • It’s quite amazing how often people who try to call someone stupid, retarted (sic), etc., expose their own stupidity. Talk about serving up softballs! LOL

    • I disagree also. I think a lot of us (myself included) enjoy knowing others are dictating what Vanguard can and cannot eat – as he did to those poor girls – whatever you think of them. His rules made sure they did not have enough protein or healthy carbs, and consumed harmful substances like artificial sweeteners. All to serve his selfish needs. F*** him!!

      • I forgot to add KR’s apparent denial of healthy fats (salmon, olive oil, nuts, etc.) to his slaves. The brain needs healthy fats in some measure in order to function properly. If true, yet another sign he had no concern for their well being.

    • Clearly you have never had to suffer the 800 calorie diet Vanguard reserved for his slaves. He deserves this food as well as it being served on a revenge platter that is this post. I find it uplifting that this man – who fancied himself a gourmand in addition to being a hack nutritionist – is eating his just dessert for real.

  • After living in France, Italy and Germany I cannot understand why British and Americans can eat this so-called bread. In continental Europe, bakers take pride in what they produce while in the US they produce this soft cardboard.

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