I rewrote it substituting ‘Keith’ for ‘narcissist.’
Keith Raniere has personal minions, “flying monkeys”, who side with him and join his “team” and set out to participate in his damaging agenda to destroy women’s lives.
Flying monkeys are Keith’s enablers. They come in all shapes and sizes.
Dr. Stines writes, “I don’t think the flying monkeys realize what they are doing. I trust that these people actually believe in the righteousness and the ’cause’ of the narcissist.”
Narcissists are master manipulators.
Keith has limited insight, so he may actually hold to the opinion that his behavior toward you is justified. He is on the spectrum of delusion, and adheres to his pathological opinions.
He believes, or claims to believe, as he abuses you, that he is, in fact, the victim. When you do anything, either real or imagined, that upsets him, he will target you as ‘defiant’ and will bring in his flying monkeys.
As you lie on the ground emotionally bleeding, his belief and response is (expressed as outrage,) “Look what you made me do!” This adds fuel to the fire, as he hurt you in the first place then blames you for it, all the while claiming he’s the victim!
He will slander you and paint a terrible picture of how you betrayed him, hurt him, and abused him. He will even call you a ‘suppressive’ or a ‘parasite.’
His Espian women believe him and make comments to further encourage his pretense of victim-hood. The real you will be unrecognizable in the story he tells. It is hard to believe, as the target of this type of “mobbing” that occurs, that so many people are believing such ugly things about you.
You begin to wonder, “Maybe it is me.”
Or “Am I the abusive one?”
“No, I know I’m not…or am I?”
“Am I a parasite?”
“How can i work on my issues.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have said what I said… I was defiant. If I had trusted Keith, then I wouldn’t be having this problem.”
It is crazy making. Even the strongest of targets has a hard time detaching and not personalizing the attacks and rumors.
Keith’s enablers, are masters at overlooking red flags, blatant abuse, and the fact that Keith is causing, and not resolving, many of the problems, stating, “There are two sides to every story.”
It truly is amazing. And a victim takes on more nightmares in Keith’s drama.
The woman he is targeting needs to be armed with defenses, because she not only has to fight Keith and her own inner codependency issues; she also has to fight a myriad of Espian monkeys who she may have originally thought would be her allies or support system.
The woman targeted ends up feeling like she has to climb a mountain with no tools, while those around her are gossiping about her and throwing obstacles her way!
For abuse recovery, she is offered EMs given by a flying monkey practitioner.
[For abuse recovery coaching information: www.therecoveryexpert.com
Sharie Stines, Psy.D. is a recovery expert specializing in personality disorders, complex trauma and helping people overcome damage caused to their lives by addictions, abuse, trauma and dysfunctional relationships. Sharie is a counselor at LIfeline Counseling & Education Inc., in Southern California (www.lifelinecounselingservices.org). Lifeline Counseling is a non-profit organization 501(c)(3) corporation. Sharie is also an abusive relationship recovery coach – therecoveryexpert.com]