Editor’s note: The following is a confirmed and vetted letter from a former member of DOS.
By an EX-DOS SLAVE
Hey Frank –
I’d like to share my experience being in ESP and DOS.
I left all NXIVM companies the second I found out what and where women were being branded. I ask you to please keep my name private – but do share whatever parts of my story below that might help stop any more women from getting involved with this twisted sex cult.
To anyone thinking of joining ESP – or continuing in ESP, then buyer beware.
People can easily get into ESP and find “the good” in it right away. Which is why so many of us joined, and stuck with it for years despite all the weird things we experienced, and all the bad press that already existed online.
This is not the first time ESP has been wrung out online.
I say ‘buyer beware’ because if it runs the course it did with me, and my friends and family, you better make sure you get out and get your friends out before you leave.
Once you leave ESP, you’re labeled a suppressive person and disconnected from the existing members of ESP. It’s tough to communicate with those who are in it when you are not. Since leaving, I’ve had many best friends stop communicating with me, and label me as “crazy girl” for choosing to leave.
I did not originally want to write about this, but I feel it’s important given that women are still being duped into being branded in the name of their personal growth.
To provide some context on what I’m about to share, I was in ESP for 5+ years as a coach. And a slave in DOS for 1+ year.
At first, ESP was great – it helped me so much – it’s about working hard, living a joyful life. These are good principles. I slowly started centering my life around ESP and the stripe path. Even though my mom and dad never took ESP, they would often comment at family dinners saying “So are you close to becoming a Proctor yet?”
(A proctor is considered a professional coach who gets compensated for her work – as opposed to a regular coach that is not paid for hundreds/thousands of hours of work on the path to becoming a proctor).
I was a good little student. I attended all of the Ethos classes, went to all the coach summits and attended V-Week every year I was in the cult.
Eventually, spending time with my family, on my business, at work, or with any of my non-cult friends came second to working on rising up the stripe path and hitting the ultimate ESP dream of being an orange-sashed proctor.
Some weeks I would spend more time working at the center for free than at my job. This was all unpaid labor.
The thing about ESP – is all the information you receive about them is from them. You are not allowed to be critical of the organization. In fact, we are told that anything anyone writes online is written by suppressive people who couldn’t handle this type of advanced personal growth we are doing.
If you question them or their practices, you are told it’s “your issue” and that you need to work your fear about whatever topic you are trying to discuss.
It’s kind of like trying to have a conversation with a two-year old. You bring something up, and they just sidebar you by telling you ‘you’re having a reaction.’
So then you need to go get an “EM”, which is paid-for therapy with an unlicensed professional who doesn’t claim the money you give them on their income tax returns.
The whole thing is a big sham.
HOW I GOT INTO DOS
But moving on to how and why I got into DOS, and why I think anyone reading this who is in it or has a loved one in it, needs to get them out.
Some people have asked me, “Why did you join DOS and give collateral knowing that they might release it if you didn’t uphold your word?”
(BTW: there never was a clear contract on if you do “x” we release “y”… The whole collateral thing was vague).
My answer for these people is that DOS is a bait and switch. They sell you the idea that DOS is for breaking down your pride and humbling you as a woman. That it’s the ultimate curriculum, just for women.. and what a bonus that it’s also free.
So, you join.
Who’s going to turn down a new, awesome program that your best friend is selling to you for no cost… well, except the cost of some nude pictures, and made up video confessions.
You truly don’t believe anything bad will happen with the videos they make you give.
ESP has always done weird, edgy things in the name of your growth, so this wasn’t actually too weird for me to consider handing over made up fake video confessions to get accepted.
I was never told that once I joined, I would be asked to stop dating.
To wear a collar.
To get myself branded so that I could humble myself.
Nor was I told I’d be on 24 hour readiness drills.
So to the people saying you “caused” this situation you are in… ‘go fuck yourself.’
To make the situation worse, I was asked to enroll my ‘coachees’ into being my slaves. I found this request disgusting and completely unprofessional. I was given a lot of pressure to enroll my ‘coachees’ despite me saying this was crossing an internal, professional boundary to make my paying clients (coachees) into my slaves. Barf.
ESP has brainwashed us all into thinking we are responsible for being in the condition we are in and we should just get on with it… and we do.
At a certain point we have to realize we were victims of a cult.. which is why we believe everything we are told. This is one of the worst things ESP has done to us… they’ve committed a terrible fraud in robbing us of our belief about how we see the world.
We don’t cause everything. For fuck sake, Keith will go on about how he caused his own birth and WW2, yet he can’t see or take responsibility for how he caused DOS?
It makes me so angry to know that our friends taking ESP courses, Jness, SOP and even the DOS slaves are good people! They think they are doing good. Which is why they are giving up their money, their families, their hobbies, their health and not going on vacations and living nice normal lives. Because they believe ESP is telling them the truth.
It’s stealing their perception of reality and faith which is worse than anything. We are dealing with people who don’t realize they are victims.
I have been, and continue to pray for my friends who are still in it. The NXIT community is awesome, and we have support available for anyone wanting to leave ALL OVER THE WORLD.
Contact someone if you need help leaving.
It does sound like she did join DOS but was never branded. It appears that the source of this info was not in the US where the branding occurs. So perhaps the timing of it all had not been arranged. From a prior post about Jimena Garza she rose to a green sash after she recruited 6 slaves who were brought from Mexico to be branded here in Clifton Park in June 2017 the last known time branding occurred. As an aside the townhouse on General’s Way where the branding allegedly occurred (which is owned by Allison Mack) is up for rent. This town home was inhabited by Dr D Roberts, D.O. and two other DOS slaves (one who also escaped unbranded).
So maybe, as bizarre it may sound, you do not get branded until your slave master has filled their pod of six (Let’s face it even sociopaths like symmetry in numbers etc). So, it sounds like it is quite possible that out of the 53 or 54 known DOS slaves that were posted/outed on the Frank Report not all have been branded. Maybe only 24-36 or so. My guess would be, Keith’s direct line of slaves including (Allison Mack) and some of the original 6’s pod (the old hardcore group who hasn’t aged out) I would image it might be a little difficult, transporting branding irons out of the country so the brands are done in Clifton Park.
That’s correct. I was not in DOS – but many of my friends from both the US and Mexico were. You could be in it and not be branded for a long time due to traveling, not having enough women, having objections etc. They would try to mind fuck you into getting branded. How ever what I’ve heard that is consistent amongst many women in DOS, is that you don’t know what they are going to brand you with, or where until it’s happening. In fact some people were told it would be a small brand the size of a dime in the shape of the elements. So I could see how someone would be shocked once they learned the brand was KR-AM on the genital area.
It does sound that at least for the time being if not forever, branding may have been nipped in the bud now that the cat is out of the bag.. It is unfortunate that women underwent such a degrading experiment and mutilation of their bodies. I also reckon that some if not all of the women still participating in DOS/NXIVM are victims of Stockholm Syndrome.
I hope you and other NX-iters are using your experience and strength to get others to leave and act as a safety net. Be kind and gentle to ourselves and you will heal. The human spirit is a marvelous thing, we are resilient creatures. The god of my understanding has never dropped me on my ass yet or given me more than I could handle Yours wont drop you either.
PS never in a cult (I lost some college friends to religious cults in the early eighties) but i was a slave to alcohol and other recreational drugs during my college years and early twenties. Let’s just say I have neighbors who have young tween or teenage daughters who will sleep better at night knowing that Keith is either in jail, dead or out of the United States and someone else’s problem. And yes, some young ladies, like the young gals from Mexico who were part of the educational experiment are smart enough to refer to Keith as “that creepy guy”.
The branding continues…
I am confused by this post.
She states: “I left all NXIVM companies the second I found out what and where women were being branded”…then also says she was “a slave in DOS for 1+ year.”
Does this mean you can be a DOS slave and not be branded…and not even know about the branding of other slaves?