A Vanguard ‘fake news’ story with Knife Media spin

 Below is a ‘fake news’ story which appears to be slanted, biased and spun. Can the Knife Media put their 12 analysts on the story and analyze it in 62 hours?

A DOS slave goes to Vanguard to get an EM.

She is clearly upset. Vanguard tries to lighten the mood.

Vanguard [VG]: I got a question for you?

DOS Slave [DS]: Go ahead.

VG: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

DS: I don’t know.

VG: Snowballs.

The DOS slave did not laugh. She seemed upset. Vanguard tried again.

VG: I went into CVS pharmacy and asked for Viagra. ‘Have you got a prescription?’ the pharmacist asked me. ‘No,’ I said, ‘but will a picture of Clare Bronfman do?’ … get it? a picture of Clare….

DOS Slave [DS] still upset: Vanguard I have a very serious issue. I called a member of the High Council [of SOP] a motherfucker last night.

Vanguard [VG] [seeming concerned]: Why did you do that?

DS: Well he kissed me.

Vanguard kisses her on the lips with moist lips and fetid breath. It smells to her like he had recently eaten fish or something.

VG: Was it like that?

DS: Yes. Yes. It was just like that. His breath even smelled the same. But why did you kiss me?

VG: Well, we are exploring meaning aren’t we?.

DS: Yes.

VG: So, was it because he kissed you? Is that why you called him a motherfucker?

DS: No.

VG: Go on.

DS: Then he grabbed my butt.

Vanguard places his hands  above the hips then quickly reaches down inside her pants and squeezed her buttocks three times. His hands felt moist and sticky.

VG: Like this?

DS: Kinda. Yes.

VG: So, is that why you called him a motherfucker?

DS: No, then he pulled my pants down.

VG pulls her pants down.

VG: Like this?

DS: Yes.

VG: Is that why you called him a motherfucker?

DS: No, then he took off my panties, and put his you know…

VG: His SOP sword….

DS: Yes… he put his … sword in my, in my… you know…

VG: Your orifice of eternal slavery

DS: Yes, Vanguard.

Vanguard takes off her panties, and inserts his cock inside her.

VG: Like this?

DS: Yes.

VG: Is that why you called him a motherfucker?

DS: No.

VG: Then why did you call him a motherfucker?

DS: He had genital herpes!

VG: That MOTHERFUCKER!

Knife Media analysis. The story was slanted. It should have ended:

After the DOS slave left, Vanguard smiled and said, “No problem for me, you can’t catch herpes twice.”

Frank Parlato