To Stop Corruption, Stop Using Family Court, 3 Ways to Avoid It

Her advice is so obvious, it’s a wonder, so many ignore it. 

By Ann Van Buren

For corrupt and destructive things to happen to you and your children in Family Court, you need to participate.

Why are you participating?

Why are you asking the government to get involved in your business? You can’t go crying to people for help, then when they get involved in your business, complain that they’re involved in your business.

Handle your business yourself.

Never ask the government into your personal life, never ask the government into your life for any reason. Don’t voluntarily seek government assistance and intervention.

For your family court conspiracy theories to work, you must first actively engage the government with your family.

Knock it off. Put the family courts out of business by no longer using them.

Plus, these three golden rules:

Don’t marry assholes.

Don’t start families with psychos.

Get ironclad prenups, including what will happen with any children.

If you’ve already fucked up one of those three, then get mediators or lawyers. Learn to compromise and act like adults.

But only fools invite the government into their personal and family life. And then say it is some big wild conspiracy plan set up at the start. It presupposes you will fail in your family and marriage, and go crying to the government for help.

If you don’t do that and keep your kids out of family court, the rest of the conspiracy can’t play out as you described.

Because guess what, it’s not a conspiracy.

Yes, absolutely, there may be really messed up stuff in your local court system. I believe that. But when you say crazy stuff like the family court, “agendas have been put in place with full purpose to control our population,” – you’re going to lose support for your cause.

Family court is only profit generating in areas with wealthy families.

Most family courts deal with poverty beyond anything you can imagine.

Families living in cars.

Children suffering from malnutrition and starvation in modern day America.

Children who have never seen a doctor and are in their teens.

Never had a checkup.

Never once been taken to a dentist, and are so neglected that they have severe dental disease before they are in the double digits.

Families living with children, who are also parents because they have been impregnated and had children.

A single mother with seven or eight children. Trying to find a homeless shelter they can all stay in together.

I could tell you stories about sexual and other abuse rained upon children that would make you throw up in your mouth as you read it.

How about a child with impacted bowels because they have been eating plastic bits to survive?

Don’t get me started on babies who were actually raped. Repeatedly.

Family court is meant to be for the worst cases imaginable. It is not meant for adults who cannot solve their personal problems when they decide they no longer want to be a family.

There has to be some modicum of responsibility for getting yourself into a situation where you choose a partner who is either mentally unstable or just a total jerk.

Unless you’re going to say, they were always a sterling example of a human being until the moment you decided to split up.

Okay, that might be true for a few people here and there, but there is no way that’s true for every person going through divorce.

Again, the big three:

Pick your partner wisely.

Get ironclad prenups.

Make advance plans for how you will handle child rearing if your marriage or relationship ends.

If you go to the government and involve them in your problems, you are not blameless in the equation.

What are the choices you’ve made in your life to get to a point where you cannot handle your own business like adults?

Everyone says custody is about children, but most custody fights are about money.

The best way to stop Family Court corruption is to stop using the family courts, unless you are in absolute, worst case scenario, dire need.

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  • Adults go into all sorts of dysfunctional relationships and stay in them even after some sort of abuse of power or manipulation.
    Perhaps it is just an issue of complacency. Of course desperation is an unfortunate reality.

    Often times people fall in love with a person and just don’t have the tools to deal with someone who they DISCOVER actually has a mental illness or an addiction or is facing financial problems that affect circumstances.

    Then there are those who «  fall in love «  and are blinded by their endorphins.

    Then there are true conmen and ( women)

    I absolutely agree people must empower themselves by owning their part in disabled relationships.
    But it’s not black and white.

    Don’t marry an assole. Don’t marry a jerk. Absolutely.
    Thing is, much of the PLANET earth is occupied by jerks.
    What do we do about that?
    Communist China only allows couples one child per family.
    There are fine lines that must be addressed and part of that is having intelligent dialogue.

    Another thing to consider:
    What happens if one jerk wants to be with another jerk? Then jerk # 1 outgrows their assholeness?

    What happens if a man or woman doesn’t know that who they married was / is a bonafide conman and or sociopath?

    While this is a very interesting topic, there is not a one dimensional solution to a complicated problem.

    It’s like the Harvey Weinstein saga.
    Sure he is a predator and had no right to behave like he did. Nor did all his yes men.

    In addition to this, victims often didn’t stand up to it until decades after.

    The reason for that is again complicated. After thousands of years of oppression, women could be conditioned, brainwashed , even tortured into the submissive role for the sake of survival. They could also be manipulative. That’s a chicken or the egg conversation as well.

    Bottom line is :One answer doesn’t fit all.

    So bringing this conversation out to light is an imperative step.

    Prevention is absolutely key.

    Demanding to meet about work in a lobby rather than a hotel room is something we can talk about.

    Not to blame the victim at all. Even if a person starts to engage in sex, it is the human beings right to say no. Rape is not acceptable no matter what.

    So yes we can open dialogues about learning how to say no.
    Setting boundaries.

    We are all on the same boat.
    The point is not to vilify the victim, but rather to empower each other and ourselves.

    These are systemic issues that have been going on for centuries, one blog is not going to be a quick fix, but it will eventually all change for the good because we are waking up.

    The exciting part is that we now can actually challenge the status quo.

    Education is key.

    • Anon @ 2:36pm

      Love your feedback. Thanks for being open to discussion. Will reflect on your well written and valuable insight.

      And you didn’t resort to personal attacks or name calling! Excellent.

  • Nicki Clyne’s fellow Canadian and Vancouverite Lauren Southern treats us to a tour of Los Angeles, the City of Angels.
    Life as an LA Influencer

  • As I explained to my family and friends. What was written as ingredients on the outside of the box was not what I found on the inside of the box. Sociopath do not tell you they are sociopaths. Finincial deception, cheating and then comes the gaslighting and emotional abuse. No one punishes them selves more for being deceved than the decepted. To add to it all here comes the family law system to take advantage of the whole mess. The system feels intited to depleat all your money. After all you deserve to be punished for making mistakes. It’s your problem you married him. Heard that more than once from the lawyers. Including the GAL. The family law system has no care and concerns for the public. It’s all about the money.

  • It’s hard to argue with the simple, straightforward and obvious idea that people should take responsibility for their own actions and behave like adults.

    But reading the comments below, I see plenty of people outraged by this common sense idea.

    I guess it smacks of “conservatism”. My question is, when did liberals and progressives cede this particular concept to the other side? And why?

    Why is “don’t marry an asshole” controversial advice?

    Here’s some more advice guaranteed to be controversial:
    -Don’t join a cult.
    -Don’t start taking addictive drugs
    -Don’t stick your fingers into moving machinery.

    Christ on a bike…

    • Same mentality as blaming a rape victim for wearing the wrong clothing. It’s all your fault for marrying an asshole. This is way Connecticut family court is rated an F.

  • Whoever wrote this seems like they have a lofty view of the themself. Might have had experience with tragic cases, but narrow minded just the same. Lacking compassion, but the photos are a crack up. Give you that. People are mind boggling. Often wonder if we are all from the same species.

  • If only the whole world could “ compromise and act like adults”

    So logical In theory.

    It’s a chaotic world. Sometimes you just have to wear your raincoat, grab an umbrella and face the storm. If you don’t have that, then whistle a tune.

  • “Yes, absolutely, there may be really messed up stuff in your local court system. I believe that. But when you say crazy stuff like the family court, “agendas have been put in place with full purpose to control our population,” – you’re going to lose support for your cause.”

    “agendas have been put in place with full purpose to control our population,”

    ^ Did someone write that? ^

  • Before the government, there were the Mayans and the Aztecs. They just threw people into volcanos when things got messy. Human sacrifice, human slavery, atrocities against humanity.

    In came the western world: the Jesuits. Their agenda is infiltrated globally and that is exactly what governs court systems.

    Very naive to say this is just about money. It’s an archaic system built to keep the masses broken down and dependent.

    It’s absolutely about power.

  • You raise some interesting, but obvious points, but contradict your own points.

    Basic psychology 101 says that people repeat what they know.

    If indigent, uneducated, abused women are impregnated, how do you really expect them to see suxh warning signs? They are just repeating what they know.

    Also, hate to break it to you, but the “Government” is made of PEOPLE.
    Broken down people. Stop trying to divide people. There is no “ them”.
    You are only encouraging subconscious division in your argument.

    There is a systemic problem here you aren’t touching on.

    Agreed the courts are not there to replace therapy and we need to empower ourselves by taking accountability. Agreed that there’s no quick fix for stupidity.

    But you are only scratching the surface. Your conclusions are rather vapid.

    Often times people marry under certain circumstances that change. Deaths in families, finances, physical and mental health can all attribute to unexpected change.

    Furthermore, not all jerks come with an obvious fake tan and a cho mo moustache carrying a red pitch fork.

    Like a building with toxic mold or asbestos, it can take a while to feel the affects of the toxic sociopath’s leak.

    • The advice was clearly NOT for “indigent, broken down people”. Those ARE the folks who need family court.

      In the average family court most really aerious issues are around getting a person to take the children. Anyone. A fit a parent or extended family as a guardian.

      Oftentimes both patents are in jail. On the streets. Missing. Dead. If a suitable familial guardian cannot be obtained and secured the kids go into group hones. Foster care. Stay with a rotating stranger situation.

      It’s truly heartbreaking. Those kids couldn’t imagine two parents fighting over their best care. They can’t imagine 1 parent doing it.

      Those kids DO need family court.

      And no matter how badly the parents screw up the goal of most family courts is “reunification”.

      Those parents are given 2nd, 3rd and even 100th chances to reunite with those hurt children.

      And the children want their parents back in their lives. t’s a very heartbreaking thing to witness.

  • Very easy to say just don’t marry a jerk.

    Obviously everyone has to take accountability for their own choices. Family court should not be used as therapy for dysfunctional behaviors and bad choices.

    In a perfect world, wise men and women would know better. Duh.

    But that’s exactly the point. They don’t .

    Hate to break it to ya, but the “Government” is made of people.
    Dysfunctional people who come from broken systems, made by broken people. Even the Vatican.

    Stop encouraging the false idea that there is a them and a we.

    We the people created these very flawed systems.

    As you wrote, many families are extremely impoverished, uneducated, end up impregnated from abusive backgrounds.

    Basic psychology 101 states human beings repeat what they know.

    Often times people marry and financial circumstances change, health problems occur, people battle with addictions. Circumstances can effect people in ways they don’t foresee.

    Also, shrewd and cunning manipulators don’t always look the part. They aren’t all sporting fake tans, sprouting Cho mo moustaches while holding red pitch forks.

    Much like a house with mold or asbestos, insidious sociopathic fumes often take a while to spread out.

    Go a little deeper Einstein, you are on the right path, but are scratching the surface.

  • Hindsight is always 20/20. It’s difficult to tell one not married a psychopathic asshole because normal people don’t go in thinking they’ve married a psychopathic asshole. Article has sound advice, but impractical and unrealistic victim blaming. I can tell I’d never marry the author

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” In addition, he was credited in the Starz docuseries 'Seduced' for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premieres on May 22, 2022.

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