Crazy Joe Macias Didn’t Qualify for Stimulus Check, Got Drunk, Disputed With Wife, Then Doused Her and Himself With Gasoline – but Lighter Didn’t Work

April Fool, Joe Macias had a bad day on April 1.

ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO – Joe Macias, 63, had an horrendous day last Wednesday, which was April Fool’s Day.

It might have been the strain of having to be home all the time with his disabled wife, during the coronavirus lockdown, cooped up in their small home in the Meadowlark Mobile Home park.

He obviously wasn’t that fond of her to begin with.

So last Wednesday, Joe left home for a while and came back around 5 p.m. with a four-pack of beer and some concerns about finances.

When President Donald Trump signed the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Act, or CARES Act, into law, he initiated a $2 trillion stimulus package, the largest emergency relief bill in American history.  Part of that package is one-time cash payments of up to $1,200 to Americans who qualify.

Unfortunately for Joe, he discovered that he was not one of the Americans who qualified. He was out $1200 he thought he had coming, and he tried to console himself with a few brews.

Once Joe finished off the beers, he asked his wife for her car keys to go buy more.

She refused, quite possibly because she thought he was over the legal limit.

Joe thought this most unreasonable since the nearest place to buy beer is the 7-11 on San Antonio Dr., about a half a mile away.

While it would only take Joe about three minutes to drive there in his wife’s car, it would take him every bit of 10 minutes to walk there and longer to walk back, lugging beer the whole way.

It was no easy walk for an inebriated Joe Macias to walk to 7-11 and get some beer, then walk back carrying the beer to his home in the Meadowlark Mobile Home Park.

He asked again for the keys. Again his wife refused.

Joe lost his temper. He screamed at his wife, “You’re going to pay the consequences.” Then he left the house on foot.

When he came back, a few hours later, he did not bring beer, but instead, a gas can filled with gasoline.

He confronted his wife, who was in her pajamas, and pushed her on the floor. Joe poured gasoline on her, then poured it all over the mobile home.  Perhaps because he was drunk and did so accidentally, or perhaps it was deliberate, but he poured or spilled gasoline on himself as well.

Then Joe pulled out a cigarette and attempted to light it, flicking his lighter several times. Due to the lighter getting gasoline on it, it failed to light.

It is not clear if Joe intended to burn himself up along with his wife and their home or not, but, failing to light his lighter, he was unable to kill anyone. He abandoned his plan and staggered out of the house.

The Albuquerque Police were called and responded around 8:30 p.m. Officers found Macias’ disabled wife on the floor, her hair and pajamas soaked in gasoline. They also found Joe walking down the street not far from home, his clothes soaked in gasoline.

They arrested him and charged him with attempted murder, kidnapping, and aggravated battery against a household member.

He is no longer residing with his wife, and currently staying at the Albuquerque Metropolitan Detention Center.

Hapless Joe, he lost a great deal of time by not walking to the store. He is likely to spend years in prison, or perhaps a mental institution, for his insane actions.  Perhaps he is insane. Or perhaps just a vicious drunk.
In any event, he clearly does not belong with the rest of society, and is likely to be sequestered from them for many days to come.


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Frank Parlato

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3 years ago

Crazy Joe won’t need a coronavirus stimulus check where he’s going – maybe some lube.

3 years ago

We should take crazy Joe and ship him to China so they can harvest his organs.

China organ harvesting and medical experiments here:

Gotta love China!!!! I’m so glad 3/4 of everything I is manufactured by Satan….

….I mean China.

3 years ago

On the topic of idiocy:

At least 20 UK phone masts vandalised over false 5G coronavirus claims

“Owing to the slow rollout of 5G in the UK, many of the masts that have been vandalised did not contain the technology and the attacks merely damaged 3G and 4G equipment.”

They’re actualy damaging the infrustracture that people rely on for things like emergency respose.

This is a reminder that when people in a position of influence play the game of “considering” dubious or baseless conspiracy-type theories, it can lead to actual harm in the real world when others act on such things foolishly, which may not be how it ought to be in an ideal world, but is how it is in the world we live in.

3 years ago

The economic check is an ointment that doesn’t help, but it should show that politicians, government and the central bank are capable of action. The economic processes are too complex for this to be the solution. When people lose their jobs or fear that they might lose their jobs, and considering the fact that many stay at home, this situation changes the entire buying and consumption behaviour. So the government and the Federal Reserve can do whatever they want. Monetary policy cannot replace the entire economic cycle, especially since the private sector accounts for two thirds of economic output. An anti-cyclical monetary policy, especially in a phase of low interest rates, is dangerous and only increases the risk of a sharp rise in inflation. And while the demand for goods and services is falling sharply, prices are expected to fall and there will be significant job losses. Which, of course, will further reduce demand. Government investment programmes cannot replace the private sector. And where will the money come from? The US is dependent on capital imports from abroad. Who will buy the government bonds? Maybe the Chinese or the Russians? A trade or economic war with tariffs and embargoes is probably the wrong incentive, as many countries are themselves in recession and urgently need capital themselves, as many EU countries do. A zero interest rate policy or a policy with interest rates at inflationary levels does not attract institutional investors. And given that many companies will go bankrupt as a result of the economic crisis, banks will once again be sitting on a lot of bad loans. The banking crisis sends its regards. If many mortgages are no longer being serviced because people are losing their jobs, you will have a new mortgage crisis. And what about the people who had health insurance through their employer. When these people lose their jobs, they lose their health insurance.

3 years ago

That stimulus check IMO is exactly why we’re living the way we are, so shady politicians can get richer. It wouldn’t surprise me if they encourage us to turn in all cash to be properly disinfected.

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” Parlato was also credited in the Starz docuseries "Seduced" for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Additionally, Parlato’s coverage of the group OneTaste, starting in 2018, helped spark an FBI investigation, which led to indictments of two of its leaders in 2023.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premiered on May 22, 2022. Most recently, he consulted and appeared on Tubi's "Branded and Brainwashed: Inside NXIVM," which aired January, 2023.

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