Raniere having trouble at MDC; headaches, slip and fall, vision problems plague world’s smartest man

"He who has the most joy, wins," says Keith Raniere.

Well, the latest report about our favorite federal prisoner – Keith Alan Raniere AKA Federal Prisoner 57005-177 – suggests that things are not going all that well for the self-proclaimed smartest man in the world who is now incarcerated, while he awaits trial, at the Metropolitan Detention Center (MDC) in Brooklyn NY.

To begin with, his new prison-issued glasses are apparently not the exact prescription he needs – which he claims is giving him bad headaches. So, he’s been off to the MDC Medical Unit on a regular basis lately and trying to get a new pair of glasses and some pain medication.

Thus far, all he’s gotten are a couple of aspirin for each such visit.

Keith Raniere has worn glasses since before he started NXIVM in 1998 – despite his claim that all illnesses and physical defects could be cured by NXIVM tech. A woman close to him told me she once asked him if he could cure his own vision problem, and he responded that he easily could, only he so was busy solving the problems of the world and saving the mission that he could not find the time…But now, of course, he has all the time in the world.

I always thought it was odd that he and Nancy Salzman both wear glasses – especially since his “Tech” has supposedly cured breast cancer, dandruff, flat feet, Tourette’s syndrome, ulcers, and a host of other diseases.

C’mon, Vanguard, how hard can it be to cure hyperopia (far-sightedness), myopia (near-sightedness), and strabismus (cross-eyedness)? Especially for someone who is fully integrated!

But, in any event, vision problems and headaches are not all that ails the little fella.

Nope, he’s still feeling very blue – and has supposedly become very withdrawn and is no longer talking non-stop. While that’s been a welcome relief to everyone else in his current unit, it’s also an indication that he’s starting to understand that he’s not going to be getting out of prison any time soon, if at all.

Nancy Salzman also wears glasses, but, if rumors are true that she’s flipping, then she’s obviously seeing more clearly than she has in years.

Vanguard has now been incarcerated at MDC for more than 6 months (As the old saying goes, “Time flies during periods of joy” or something like that). And even if his trial actually starts, as currently scheduled, on March 18, 2019, he still has another 5 months to go before that happens.

Most people who are familiar with the case – and the various ongoing investigations – think the trial probably won’t start for at least another year.

The only “good news” for The Vanguard is that he’ll finally be going to back to his original unit sometime next week. Seems like all those nasty little mites – or at least most of them – have finally been eliminated.

Keith Alan Raniere AKA The Vanguard suffers from strabismus [cross-eyed].
Meanwhile, Keith had another slip-and-fall incident. Not quite sure if this happened while he was exercising or practicing his judo moves but he did, in fact, fall down again and bruise himself. At least that’s the story he’s told everyone who asked about his newest series of bruises.

So, the Vanguard is not having an easy time of it – and is reportedly very upset about the recent rumors that some members of his inner-circle are starting to cut deals. Wait until he finds out just how many names are on that list – and what they’ve agreed to testify about.

Things just can’t get much worse for The Vanguard – or can they?

It is unfortunate and in no way funny that people such as our Vanguard have vision problems. And it seems unnecessarily cruel to deprive prisoners of the right – if they have the money – to purchase eye glasses – or have someone buy them for them  – from outside. However, there have been some inspirational figures who have succeeded despite having poor [or no] eyesight. One of these is Helen Keller, who Keith has quoted on some of his old web pages.  Another one – although I don’t think he has ever quoted him – is Mr. Magoo.

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K.R. Claviger


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  • Wow, I don’t know if it will last but it sure is nice to see a lot less of flowers are the crew attached. We might have some real conversations here.

  • Im glad to hear he’s not getting pain medication, isn’t there some espians filling his candy bar account at jail? After all the lies and damage Nxivm put John Tighe through I hope he gets the medical care he needs . But Rainere can got, what a crybaby, heal yourself oh integrated one. Surely there’s nothing a Dr can do that Keith can’t do better right? Is he aware that all of his whining is out there for the world to see, in every language he fleeced parents out of as his language specialists taught their children oh thats right he didn’t teach them anything except to be more confused tan ever. That’s another batch of lawsuits Nxivm may want to prepare for. Wonder what else these children are to confused to turn Rainere and his flunkies in for. Did they get to meet the nice Dr Porter?
    I’m sure prison rights is a whole new issue to fight over. But until the day comes that working and disabled or dying Americans aren’t getting proper care and can’t afford necessary prescriptions than I will not have sympathy for CRIMINALS whining about a headache. He’s more than likely scouting out potential ways to escape as he’s finally realized he’s not going to FIGI or any other cozy Country.

  • I expect he’s making a real good impression on the Medical Unit MDC. His natural charm and integrity would ensure that his regular visits are anticipated with great joy and the strongest desire to do anything they can for his bumps and bruises, the blood pressure and now headaches! How they, with their measly resource of medical science, can compete with his wellness tech, is beyond understanding. This must be a truly humbling experience, for all those involved.

  • Can’t wait for Frank’s next Raniere medical issue report on his prison related anal-rectal issues. I am sure the shadow and his stalker counterpart sultan will have much to add to that

    • Yeah that makes so much sense dumb ass because I’ve yet to even broach a sex related comment in any context. On the other hand, people like you with your perpetual masturbation and other sex-related fuckery talk about it non-stop.

  • Hi Frank, After I read Catherine Oxenberg’s book, I was in awe of you! I saw your vice interview and then I read the book. I have a friend who does reporting of true crime on YouTube, Roberta Glass and she was saying Alison Mack & Nancy Salzman are cooperating. That Alison flipped. And that she also has breast cancer. As a person who is currently suffering severe chronic pain on a daily basis these cults and their bs with not taking medication irk me. Cannot believe KR was asking for pain medication for a headache caused by glasses. I think of you as the “snake killer”. I was wondering if you think Alison Mack will get leniency fir cooperating. I noticed she looked grey and sick, from that starvation diet when they arrested “the Vanguard”. Do you think she has realized she was in a cult. Keep up the good work and congratulations. Tell Catherine I loved her book.

  • I love these updates on the smelly one himself.

    He once said he could fix his eyesight with his tech but it was the best value of his time.

    So what’s Mr. Smarty pants gotta do with his time 24/7 that could be more important than proving how good his tech really is by fixing his eyesight? Would he lie about such capabilities?

  • Frank, I know what’s likely causing his prescription glasses problems.

    The new prison issued frames likely hold the lenses further away from his pupils than higher quality frames would do, by just a few millimeters.

    Since Keith is not smart enough to figure out the solution, I’ll do it for him.

    Keith, next time you sit in the doctor’s machine, pull your head/eyes back away from the lens by a few millimeters to simulate the same distance that your prison-issued frames will hold your lenses. Only then will the prescriptions match.

    Well… Either that or the prison eye doctor is a fucking retard and doesn’t know crap from Crisco, in which case Keith is simply fucked and will need to learn to cope with blurry vision for the next 15 years. 🙂

    • Who gives a fuck if Keith can see in prison, he’s lucky to get anything much less a pair of glasses. Do we pay for his depends too. They should take that out of his commissary fund.

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” Parlato was also credited in the Starz docuseries "Seduced" for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Additionally, Parlato’s coverage of the group OneTaste, starting in 2018, helped spark an FBI investigation, which led to indictments of two of its leaders in 2023.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premiered on May 22, 2022. Most recently, he consulted and appeared on Tubi's "Branded and Brainwashed: Inside NXIVM," which aired January, 2023.

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Contact Frank with tips or for help.
Phone / Text: (305) 783-7083
Email: frankparlato@gmail.com