Dear Espian Community,
Many of us have left NXIVM. Why have we left? Have you considered why we might leave? What are the possibilities? Can you for a second contemplate possible reasons? With your own mind, based on your own personal experience? Is it possible to put aside, just for a second, what you have been told about why we left? Just for a second? And think about it on your own?
What if you were to evaluate all of your first hand experiences of the people who have left, and your first hand experiences of Keith, Nancy, Lauren, and Clare, the operations of ESP, and you did so putting aside what you were told. Try and evaluate it, without all the Keith, Nancy, Lauren, Clare, etc. explanations of things, and evaluate afresh. What have you personally seen and experienced?
Was there ever a time things seemed off? (but it was explained) Something seemed not right? (it was explained – “It’s hard to bring ethics into the world”) One or more people were obviously not doing well although being coached personally by Keith and Nancy (it was explained – “they have issues, they are failures, they are lazy, they have no character….that’s why we need you). Have you wondered, why do all the NXIVM businesses fail? Why does Clare need to keep pumping money into everything to keep the businesses afloat? (It was explained, “it’s because of the negative press, enemies want to destroy Keith”). Have you ever wondered about Keith’s schedule? Why he keeps people on call all day – sometimes the whole organization and won’t commit to a class or forum time till the last minute? (It was explained – “Keith is working around the clock so hard to save the Mission, he didn’t know if he could make it”) Have you ever noticed a high level of incompetence in administration-operations, or people put into senior management positions with little skills or experience? And often those people seem very physically friendly with Keith and alone with him alot? (It was explained – “It’s easier to train an ethical person then make an experienced person ethical”)
If you are a Special One or friends with a Special One, have you ever felt jealous of other women in Keith’s life? (It was explained – “that is your issue, nothing from the outside world will ever fill your inner deficiency”. “Keith is bringing up your issue so you can work it. If he gave you what you wanted it would cover your inner deficiency and you would never grow.”) Have you ever wondered, why does Keith need to have so many personal and sometimes sexual relationships with women? How does that help the Mission? How does that help spread ESP in the world? (It was explained -“Focus on yourself and your issue. When you integrate your disintegration about monogamy you will see the world differently. Or “Keith can work with women in a way that he can’t work with men.” Or “Keith’s sexual energy is so transformative. A woman he works with in this way can be come unified much easier than a man using only EMs. He will raise your whole vibrational level.”) Have you ever asked yourself, the women that have been sleeping with Keith for years, why would I want lives like their’s? They aren’t so happy. And are still jealous after all this time. Why haven’t they integrated that issue? (It was explained – “this is a hard path, that is why we need you. You are a Special One.”)
I imagine, this is hard to read for many in the Espian community. Especially hard for the Special Ones. I understand.
OCCUM’S RAZOR from Wikipedia. “Suppose there exist two explanations for an occurrence. In this case the simpler one is usually better. Another way of saying it is that the more assumptions you have to make, the more unlikely an explanation is.”
Try if you can to continue reading. Could it be possible for you to re-read the above without the explanations and all the assumptions you need to make in order to make the Nancy and Keith type explanations plausible? What if you did that?
What is the simplest explanation for what you have witnessed and experienced?
FROM ABOVE WITH SIMPLE EXPLANATIONS:
Something seemed not right? Simple: something isn’t right.
One or more people were obviously not doing well although being coached personally by Keith and Nancy? Simple: people coached by Keith and Nancy don’t do well.
Have you wondered, why do all the NXIVM businesses fail? Why does Clare need to keep pumping money into everything to keep the businesses afloat? Simple: the business models aren’t sustainable. They fail.
Have you ever wondered about Keith’s schedule? Why he keeps people on call all day – sometimes the whole organization and won’t commit to a class or forum time till the last minute? Simple: Keith doesn’t value your or other people’s time.
Have you ever noticed a high level of incompetence in administration-operations, or people put into senior management positions with little skills or experience? And often those people seem very physically friendly with Keith and alone with him a lot? Simple: women Keith is intimate with get high level positions regardless of skill and Keith’s businesses fail.
If you are a Special One or friends with a Special One, have you ever felt jealous of other women in Keith’s life? Simple: jealousy is a natural human emotion.
Have you ever wondered, why does Keith need to have so many personal and sometimes sexual relationships with women? How does that help the Mission? How does that help spread ESP in the world? Simple: Keith’s sex life is a very high priority to him.
Have you ever asked yourself, the women that have been sleeping with Keith for years, why would I want lives like their’s? They aren’t so happy. And are still jealous after all this time. Why haven’t they integrated that issue? Simple: integration doesn’t work. Feelings like jealousy cannot be EM’d away. Women in Keith’s life are unhappy.
I hope this helps you evaluate your experience, and creates more options for you in the world. Summary of simple explanations:
Something isn’t right.
People coached by Keith and Nancy don’t do well.
The business models aren’t sustainable. They fail.
Keith doesn’t value other people’s time.
Women Keith is intimate with get high level positions regardless of skill and Keith’s businesses fail.
Jealousy is a natural human emotion.
Keith’s sex life is a very high priority to him.
Integration doesn’t work. Feelings like jealousy cannot be EM’d away. Women in Keith’s life are unhappy.
Good luck and think hard.

Bravo. Ex-members uniting to take down this fraud! I don’t like destruction of anything, but this man and his organization is a facade. Time to face the penance you have put on others for too long.
Occam’s Razor:
VanDouche is an utter and total fraud. A dime a dozen snake oil salesman cult leader who uses stolen ideas and and thought reform practices to create slaves for both his big and tiny heads, while making you believe that you are “bettering” yourselves. He feels no shame and his only concern is – how do you say it in Spanish for the Mexican contingent? “Numero uno”.
There is nothing more to it than that. All the excuses upon excuses, rationalizations, bullshit language about integrations/disintegrations. et al, are there simply to maintain this bubbled lifestyle where he gets to call himself the self-proclaimed, yet laughably inapt and inapplicable title of “The Vanguard”.