Ex-Member: NXIVM Assessment; Raniere’s Needs for Therapy

As far as I know, our guest commenter neither had a hand in the collapse of NXIVM, nor did he do anything to save it. 

He took NXIVM courses and knew some members, some of whom he considered friends. He knew nothing of DOS until Frank Report broke the story.  

I venture to say he feels he gained some good from NXIVM. He knew Raniere, probably not well, and his respect for him likely diminished as he learned more about him from the Frank Report and trial revelations.

Like many who took courses, there is no need to mention his name. He is not known as an integral part of NXIVM. Most of the thousands who took courses do not care to couple their names with NXIVM, mistakenly described in the media as a sex cult.

The assumption that someone who took courses in NXIVM was in a sex cult is one of the reasons the public has heard from so few of them. 

He took some courses he hoped would lead to self-improvement. He is a successful business person, bright and well-spoken. For the most part, the members did not know about the lustful life of its leader. 

He offers an interesting perspective, a voice not often heard in this NXIVM story.  He previously wrote: Data 4 Anti-Cult Tribal Ninnies: Dossier Women’s ‘Coherence; Govt’s Ethical Breach, Against Raniere

Our guest commenter has chosen the name, Lieutenant Commander Data.  And he prefers to refer to Keith Alan Raniere as Alan.

By Lieutenant Commander Data

Did Raniere Do Anything Wrong?

Potential red flags may have indicated Keith Alan Raniere [Alan] was not acting ethically or legally.

If Alan was involved in racketeering or abuse of power, it is possible that he used his influence and authority to manipulate or exploit others for his gain. 

He might have used his position of power to make unreasonable demands, exert control over others, or engage in illegal activities.

Alan’s followers, who were aware of these actions, may have had concerns about his behavior and may have chosen to distance themselves or speak out against it.

It is important for individuals to be aware of warning signs of unethical or illegal behavior, and to take action if they are concerned about the activities of someone they are following or supporting.

It can be challenging to express dissent or raise concerns in a group or organization, especially if there is a culture of not tolerating opposing viewpoints or criticism.

It is important for individuals to feel comfortable voicing their concerns, and for those in positions of authority or leadership to listen to and consider these concerns, even if they disagree with them.

Dismissing or invalidating dissent or criticism can create an unhealthy environment where individuals feel unsupported or unable to speak up about issues that are important to them. 

Groups and organizations must create a culture of open communication and respect for diverse viewpoints to foster a healthy and productive environment.

It is important for individuals to feel heard and listened to, as this can help them feel valued and supported. When people feel their thoughts, feelings, and experiences are not taken into account, it can lead to frustration, resentment, and isolation. 

It can damage a person’s sense of self-worth and autonomy.

Mission Statement

The 12 Point Mission Statement includes the word success 20 times.

The emphasis on success in the Mission Statement, which all students repeat at the beginning of every class, and therein that a person must earn success, and won’t receive it by happenstance, may have created unhealthy pressure for Nxians to succeed.

This might have led to inadequacy or self-doubt if members didn’t meet these standards.

The emphasis on controlling money, wealth, and resources in the mission statement might suggest a belief in scarcity, that limited resources are available, and individuals must compete for them.

This belief can create a sense of competition and distrust, and may  lead to hoarding or exploiting resources, rather than sharing and cooperating.

This emphasis on competition and control suggests a belief in individualism rather than interdependence — the idea that we are all connected and rely on each other to thrive.

The mention of purging oneself of “parasite and envy-based habits” may also suggest a belief in competition and a desire to distance oneself from behaviors seen as negative or undesired.

Envy and other negative emotions are part of the human experience. It is healthy to acknowledge and process them in a healthy way, rather than trying to eliminate them completely.

It is important to recognize that cooperation and interdependence can be more effective and fulfilling than competition in certain situations.

Helping Alan Understand

It is difficult to say what would help Alan understand his negative impact on his community, as this would depend on many factors, including his personality, beliefs, and values. 

Some potential approaches to help Alan could include:

1. Encourage Alan to reflect on the consequences of his actions.
2. Help Alan consider the impact of his actions on others.
3. Helping Alan see the potential long-term effects to help him understand the negative impact he has had.
4. Provide Alan with feedback from those affected.
5. Alan should hear directly from people who have been impacted by his actions. This may help him understand the harm he has caused.
6. Encourage Alan to seek therapy or counseling.
7. Alan should work with a therapist or counselor who can help him explore his
   1. thoughts
   2. feelings
   3. behaviors
8. This may help Alan understand the negative impact of his actions and
9. Develop healthier and constructive ways for Alan to relate to others.

It is important to recognize that understanding the negative impact of one’s actions is not always easy or straightforward. 

It may take time and effort for Alan to fully understand and recognize the harm he has caused.

Alan’s inventions

Alan’s patents are public record. 

If Alan’s patents are supercilious, or lack in substance or merit, it may suggest he was not a genuine inventor.

It may suggest Alan was exaggerating the value or importance of his ideas. 

Alan tried to patent a scarf.

This could be misleading to others who may have relied on his claims or invested time and resources based on his supposed expertise.

It is important in fields like invention, where the credibility and reliability of ideas and innovations are crucial that individuals are honest and accurate in their claims, and not exaggerate their abilities or accomplishments.

Owing Alan Tribute

Alan believed that if he influenced an idea, business, sport, or activity, he was owed tribute. 

If Alan believed that ideas or inventions created by his followers under his guidance belong to him, this could have been a warning sign of unethical or inappropriate behavior. 

It is important to respect the intellectual property rights of others and not claim ownership of ideas or creations that do not belong to them.

It is important to give credit where credit is due, and acknowledge contributions of others. 

If Alan did not recognize the ownership and intellectual property rights of his followers, and instead claimed their ideas as his own, this could be a red flag for potential exploitation or abuse of power. 

It is important for individuals to be aware of potential warning signs and speak out if they are concerned about unethical or inappropriate behavior.

Renunciate

Keith was a renunciate, according to Lauren, and Nancy

Alan and Nancy and Lauren Salzman sold the notion that Alan was a renunciate. There were aspects of this statement that were true and aspects that were blatant lies. 

It is not uncommon for individuals to justify or rationalize behaviors that may be unethical or inappropriate. 

Alan possibly believed keeping information secret or withholding full disclosure was necessary for the well-being of his community or some other perceived good. However, hiding important information or engaging in secretive or deceptive behavior can harm others and undermine trust and integrity. 

It is important for individuals to be honest and transparent, and to recognize the value of open communication and transparency in building healthy and productive relationships.

It is important for individuals to consider the impact of their actions on others and act in a way that is consistent with their values and beliefs. 

If Alan pretended to live a monastic lifestyle while secretly engaging in intimate relationships with multiple partners, this could be a sign of a lack of integrity and a failure to align his actions with his stated values. 

It is not uncommon for people to experience cognitive dissonance or discomfort when their actions do not align with their values. 

It can be helpful to reflect on and address these discrepancies to live a more authentic and fulfilling life.

It can be difficult and painful to realize that someone we looked up to or respected has not lived up to our expectations or engaged in unethical or inappropriate behavior. 

It is natural to feel a sense of betrayal or disappointment when we discover that someone we have trusted has been deceptive or has not acted in a way that aligns with our values. 

It is important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, and that people can change and learn from their mistakes.

It may be helpful to separate the person [Alan] from their actions and recognize that it is possible to still find value in their contributions or teachings, even if we are disappointed in their behavior. 

It is important to recognize that it is okay to feel a range of emotions in response to this realization, and to give yourself time and space to process these feelings.

It is a mistake to both insist that the women with whom Alan was intimate were victims, and to insist they bear zero responsibility for the build-up and subsequent crushing of the community of friends clumsily dismantled by Mark Vicente and Sarah Edmondson.

Generally, individuals who enable or support harmful or abusive behavior can contribute to the continuation of that behavior and may bear some responsibility for the harm that results.

Enabling behavior can take many forms, such as ignoring or excusing harmful behavior, making excuses for the individual, or protecting them from the consequences of their actions.

Various factors may motivate enablers, such as fear, loyalty, a desire to protect their interests or a belief that they are helping the individual somehow.

It is important for individuals to recognize their roles and responsibilities concerning harmful or abusive behavior, and to take steps to address and correct any enabling behavior. 

This may involve setting boundaries, seeking support and guidance from others, and taking action to protect oneself and others from harm.

 Alan’s pattern was to create “movements” to build value in the world, which quietly elevated his position of power.

Any attempt to hold Alan accountable for his decisions, which harmed others, was labeled an ethical breach against Alan.

Community members were encouraged to shun members who were once dear friends. 

Attempts to reason with Alan, or help him understand the harm he was causing, did not easily sway him.

It is important for individuals to prioritize their safety and the safety of others. This may involve seeking help or support from authorities or other resources or taking other steps to protect oneself and others from harm.

It is important to recognize that it is not always possible to change the behavior of others and that we cannot control the actions of others. 

However, by focusing on our actions and behaviors and working to create positive and supportive communities, we can create a safer and more supportive environment.

It is never acceptable for individuals to be shunned or ostracized for seeking help or support or expressing concerns about harmful behavior. This type of treatment can be damaging and cause significant emotional distress.

Alan is responsible for his actions.

While it may be helpful to understand the context or factors that may have contributed to a person’s behavior, this does not excuse harmful or destructive actions.

It is important to hold individuals accountable for their actions. It is understandable that people may be curious about the reasons behind harmful or destructive behavior and want to understand the factors that may have contributed to such behavior. 

It is important to recognize that speculating about someone’s mental state or diagnosing them based on limited information can be unproductive and potentially harmful.

Control

Control is a complex issue. It can be difficult to determine the appropriate level of control in any given situation. 

In some cases, control may be necessary for individuals’ safety or well-being, such as enforcing laws or rules that protect people’s rights. 

However, when control is exercised in an unhealthy or excessive manner, it can damage individuals and relationships. 

It is important to recognize the balance between the need for structure and the importance of allowing individuals to make their own decisions and control their own lives.

Nicki and Clare

Nicki Clyne and Clare Bronfman

Many people find Nicki Clyne’s and Clare Bronfman’s support for Alan gut-wrenching.

Understanding their internal world that results in their decisions can be tempting. This behavior is ultimately wasteful. 

It is important to recognize that people are complex and that the reasons for their behavior and beliefs can be multifaceted and varied.

It is not uncommon for individuals to have strong emotional connections to others to feel loyalty or commitment to them, even in the face of harmful or destructive behavior. This can be especially true in cases where the individual has a long history with the person in question or where shared experiences or beliefs have formed a strong bond.

It is not necessarily harmful to society for individuals to express their own beliefs and opinions.

It is important to recognize that supporting harmful or destructive behavior can have negative consequences for both the individual engaging in the behavior and for those around them.

It is important for individuals to feel safe and supported when seeking help or raising concerns about harmful behavior and for communities to provide a welcoming and supportive environment for all members. 

This means creating a culture of trust and respect and ensuring that all individuals feel their concerns are valued and taken seriously.

At the core, trust is about believing in someone or something and having confidence in their reliability, truthfulness, and good intentions. Respect is about acknowledging and valuing an individual’s or group’s inherent worth and dignity.

It is important to be honest, transparent, reliable, dependable, and to act with integrity and good intentions to build trust and respect in relationships in communities.

It is important to listen to and acknowledge the perspectives and experiences of others, to be open to learning and growing, and to treat others with kindness, empathy, and fairness.

By cultivating trust and respect in our relationships and communities, we can create a more positive and supportive environment for ourselves and others and build stronger and more meaningful connections with those around us.

It can be challenging to move on from difficult or painful experiences, and it is natural to find ways to process and make sense of what has happened.

It is important to recognize that it is not healthy or productive to dwell on the past or consumed by negative thoughts or emotions.

For all ex-community members, here are suggestions for coping with difficult emotions and moving forward after experiencing a betrayal by or disappointment in Alan:

Practice self-compassion: It is natural to feel hard on yourself when you are going through a difficult time.

However, research has shown that self-compassion, or the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a good friend, can help manage difficult emotions.

Seek out healthy and supportive relationships: Building and maintaining healthy relationships with others can provide a sense of connection and support, which can be particularly helpful during times of stress or challenge. Surrounding yourself with positive and caring people can help you feel more supported and less isolated.

Focus on personal growth: Experiencing a betrayal or disappointment can be an opportunity for personal growth and self-reflection. Consider what you have learned from the experience and how you can use this learning to become a better person and build a better future.

Seek out new sources of inspiration and guidance: It may be helpful to explore new sources of inspiration and guidance, such as books, podcasts, or other resources, that can help you find new perspectives and develop new skills and strategies for coping with difficult emotions.

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