Exclusive V-Week Videos: Rare Nicki Clyne Standup Comedy Routine – Her Top # 12 List of Photo Captions for V-Week 2016

Could Nicki Clyne be a good DOS governor?

Comedienne Nicki Clyne appeared at V-Week 2016 [the last great V-Week before the DOS branding was revealed and ruined Nxivm].

She gave up her acting career as a serious actress and became a full-time Nxivm coach and part-time stand-up comedian for the sake of her Vanguard.

Here she is at her funniest, doing a routine she calls the “The Top 12 List of Photo Captions From V-Week 2016.” They are replete with her funny pictures and funnier commentary. She creates funny captions for Nxivm pictures.


Here they are in stills for your delectation and amusement:

12. Hey Jim, do you think aliens take selfies? Think about it.
11. Everybody stop! I lost my contact lens!
10. I’m pretty sure it’s ethical since I don’t have abstraction.
9. Whoever washed my favorite Adidas jacket is so dead.
8. Um, guys? No, seriously, can someone please help me down?
7. Hey guys, maybe if we make it black & white, they won’t know we’ve been up for 47 hours.
6. I just don’t get why people call us a cult.
5. I’m telling you, it’s a NEED!!!
4. When Ethicists starts talking about the levels of morality.
3. Maybe if I just lie here looking stressed someone will massage me.
2. I’ll just leave this here in case I want E.Coli later
1. Okay guys, seriously… Who farted?


Nicki Clyne:  “Nobody’s got a sense of humor anymore. The world’s dying for comedy like never before, but nobody knows how to laugh.
Nicki Clyne: “I got all kinds of funny ideas in my head to help make the world happy again.”


Nicki, you’re not funny. You’re a sad young punk. What the hell do you want to try to be funny for? You’ll break everybody’s heart. What’s there for you to be funny about? You’ve been a fool all your life, haven’t you?


Oh, and above all, thanks, Nicki, for sharing with Frank Report your secret location in Puerto Vallarta -,[via this picture]. It was a big help in locating our Vanguard – and just before your group blow job. Bless you, child.

About the author

Frank Parlato


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About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” Parlato was also credited in the Starz docuseries "Seduced" for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Additionally, Parlato’s coverage of the group OneTaste, starting in 2018, helped spark an FBI investigation, which led to indictments of two of its leaders in 2023.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premiered on May 22, 2022. Most recently, he consulted and appeared on Tubi's "Branded and Brainwashed: Inside NXIVM," which aired January, 2023.

IMDb — Frank Parlato

Contact Frank with tips or for help.
Phone / Text: (305) 783-7083
Email: frankparlato@gmail.com